The 1st of the month stuff is handled. Our list is clear until the gas bill. The other stuff hasn't come due yet. We've done what can be done for now.
That's my life now, routine items getting crossed off lists until the next cycle. If it's not bills, it's medical stuff; doctor appointments, dental, eyes, meds, etc... When it's not that, it's some crap show because something weird or bad happened & it'll probably cost a lot to get it fixed. If not cash, then a lot of drama & stress.
There hasn't been much for me to look forward. I try to find things but they never come to fruition or just fizzle. There's movies & comics I'll read look at just to have something to do. But, they're just diversions & not something I'm really excited about.
It's to the point, if my phone rings it's either a wrong number, spam, medical crap or worse news. I try to stay in the now. I can't find things to look forward to & looking back just makes me sad. I won't tell you that any point in my life was great. But, there were points when I was less scared & stress. There were points in my past, that even as bad as things could get, I still had things that I was looking forward to. I could still really laugh, find bits of joy & sometime even a little hope.
I think that's all gone. Like the hummers & bunnies, that's just another memory. I finally saw a dragon a few days back. It kept circling me like it wanted to be seen. It was black with black wings with white bands near the wingtips. It made me smile for a bit, maybe not every little thing is gone.
Cya...
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