Week Out...

 

It's a week out from my colonoscopy.  The prep wasn't fun, the procedure was easy, but the after hasn't been easy.  It's taken my body a bit to get back to normal.  The emotional ride of post sedation was something I wasn't expecting.   

As a adult, the only thing I've ever been put under for was having wisdom teeth extracted.  I don't remember having this reaction.  This time, I've been a wreck going from sad, regretful, angry, anxious, etc...  This has been the hardest part of this.

I think it's getting better, but it's taking a while.  Every little thing feels huge.  It's exhausting & unnerving.  I hate knowing things may be off, but not that off, still I'm having a melt down.  

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Rainy & Dark...

 

We'd already exceeded our rainfall averages before & all this is just extra.  It's not a flood worry, even now our totals for the month are in the 4" range.  A little over an inch higher than expected.   It's supposed to rain more during the remainder of the month, so it's likely will be 2"+ over the average.  It's also been oddly cool.  Today is supposed to be in the low 80's & nothing over the mid 90s is in the forecast for the next 15 days.  Of course that could change, hopefully it won't. 

The post procedure realization I posted about yesterday may be something I never really get passed.  It'd be nice, but I'm not sure it will happen.   That may have been 1 of the only times I've ever known what it was to be that calm & peaceful.  I really wish I hadn't, to be there & then not was really hard.  It may have been the cruelest thing I've done to myself.  Every defense I had was down & then the world came rushing back. 

I wonder if some people actually know that level of peaceful calm in their lives.  I bet if they do, they can't be around others much.  Talk about bringing a person down.

Cya...

Figured It Out...

 

Since my screening on Wednesday, something's been bothering me.  At 1st I couldn't figure it out.  Sure I was worn out by the process & it's taking a bit to get back.  The procedure went well & it's over.  But since then, there's been a lot of crap screwing up to some degree; cars, doors, computers, kittens...  This stuff is constant agita.  And we have a hell election coming up that could be very well ruin what little life I have.   But I was still wondering what was really bothering me.

I finally figured it out.  During the colonoscopy, then put me under.  I didn't even notice going under, it was easy.  Ever since I woke, part of me has been angry.  That brief bit of time I was under was the most peaceful I'd been in decades.  There wasn't any fighting, stress dreams, fear, anxiety.  I wasn't fighting to stay asleep.  I just wasn't.  Then I woke up & it all came back. 

Maybe it's morbid, but if I hadn't woke up, all that would've stayed gone & I could've just not been.   I don't remember the last time I was that relaxed & peaceful.  It's fairly likely, the answer is never.   Maybe it's just a reaction to the meds, but I've been in borderline panic & anxiety fit ever since.  

I hate waking, it's always so horrible for me.  If there had ever been any kindness in this world, I would've stayed where that was.  Guess I have my answer on that.

Cya... 

2 Days Out & Again...

 

I got through yesterday still a little off stomach wise & tired from the colonoscopy.  Apparently, that's to be expected, the process is depleting.  Luckily both nights since have been cooler & I slept better.   Maybe that'll be enough to get things back to more my "normal".  Still not wanting to push a lot today though.

Another patient has apparently been cured of HIV via  stem-cell transplant.  I'm only going to post a link to this article.  This would be the 7th patient, but the process is still deemed questionable & dangerous.   Maybe they will eventually glean enough from these flukes for a helpful application for the majority of people living with HIV.

Take care.

Cya...

It's Done...

 

The screening happened, that was the easy part.  I went in & they got me ready.   After a bit, I was out & then in the recovery room.  It went well, no issues, no polyps.  

I still feel a bit out of it, but hopefully that will get better in a bit.  I need more to eat & drink.  I'm glad I don't even have to think about that again for 10 years.

That's about it here.  Although it did manage to cool down some. Take care.

Cya...

Did What I Could...

 

I did all the prep they said to for the screening.  This hasn't been fun.  I finished what I could do last night.  I hope this goes well.   I feel pretty awful right now.  I'm queasy, shaky, dehydrated & tired.   It was a warm, muggy night.   That combined with wondering when I'd need to hit the bathroom again kept waking me.  

I have Wednesday stuff, some of which got pushed back until tomorrow.   I need to get trash out, shower again, check mail & be there by 2.  I could seriously hurt these people for the appointment being that late.  This isn't just me they're putting out.  You have to have a driver for this thing to get you home.  

In 4 hours I'll be there.  In 6 - 7, I should be out & done.  Hopefully this goes well.  

Take care.

Cya...

Screen Prep...

 

The prep for my colon screening begins today.  I didn't think this was going to be fun.  But they finally set a time yesterday.  My appointment isn't until 2 PM.  That's a lot later than what I was led to expect.  So, the next 28 - 31 hours aren't going to be great.  It's really stupid it's that late.  I least I won't have to wake up early & I'll have time to handle getting cleaned up & house stuff.  

Here this goes, take care.

Cya...

It Starts...

 

It's shopping day.  I'll need to get stuff to get through this week.  I have to get ready for my screening on Wednesday.  I still don't know the exact details of it all.  I need to get some things for tomorrow's prep.  Here's hoping this doesn't go badly.  I'm not sure what to expect, but I don't have high hopes about any of it.

That's all for today.  Of course these have to be the hot days of the week.  Take care.

Cya...

Mid Month...

 

We're nearly halfway through.  Most the remaining bills will show this week.   Then we're handled for the month.  It's back to being warmer than we'd like, but it is July.  

I have an appointment on Wednesday for my screening.  Prep for it begins the day before.  Things are changing for that.  It's not as rough as it used to be.  Some doctors want to change it more to include low residue foods (google it).   I still don't know the actual details of the appointment & that's irritating.  They're supposed to call soon with the whens, wheres & how longs.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Early Dark Appointment...

 

The forecast doesn't call for rain today, but it's really overcast.   It's pretty dark this morning & I had to be up for an appointment.  The doctors want me to have a screening.  This morning is the initial meet & greet,  then the procedure will be scheduled.  

Not the greatest morning.  I'm up early.  It's dark.  I have an appointment.  The 1st of the moth stuff is starting.  I'm waiting to see if  a bank issue I had last month is resolved.   That'll take a few more days.   

The phone bill came in & it went up $30. The discount programs I was on (ACP) ended.  That's going to rack up.  Still, AT&T is about the most dependable in my area.  If not, I'd probably be changing.

That's it for this morning, take care.

Cya...