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Thursday, July 9, 2026

Not Just The Meds...

 

With all the funding cuts being made to the fight against HIV, most people focus on the medications.  While the drugs are in some ways paramount, they're not the only thing getting cut.  There are all the peripheries as well; labs, case management, consultations, referrals & various support matters.

When these cuts happen, it impacts everything in the situation, not just the meds.  Including all the people working in these places livelihoods.  There are many services outside of the clinic also feeling these cuts such as housing, financial & food assistance programs.  Which are all being slashed.  

Still there is another thing, perhaps more damaging.  For many these cuts will lead to increased isolation.  For some, the only people interacting with them at all were workers who now have no funds to help.  Many of these workers themselves may now be in need of assistance after losing their employment with these programs.  

Yes, the meds are getting cut.  Services are being gutted.   For some, the isolation may be the worst of it.  For these people, it could mean suffering, starving & dying alone.  That's what the orange bastard's cuts are doing.

Cya...

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

Glitchy...

 

My computer glitched yesterday.  I'm not sure how bad this could be.  It could've been a  weird update or high humidity.  I hope this PC can last a couple more months.  It'd be easier to handle this then.  Some of my subscriptions would be up for renewal & since my roomie just changed systems last February, I'm out of slots.  I hate dealing with setting up new PCs.  Getting them to talk to everything else again can be such a pain.  

It's going to get pretty hot today & we have some errands.  We'll try to make sure they don't take too long.   That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Tuesday, July 7, 2026

A Week In...

 

The week is winding down.   The local bills are handled, the rest is online.   It should be a nothing day.  Both of us could use that.  Things have been a little rough with the surge in heat, humidity & holiday smoke.  Maybe that will settle down some.

The internet went down again last night.  Optimum seriously sucks.  It's back on for now.  It'd be nice if they got their act together.  

That's about it for now, take care.

Cya...

Monday, July 6, 2026

Knowledge, Awareness & Preparation...



I won't preach on this matter.  I will say with the way things surrounding health are, especially HIV, it's time to start playing safer again.   Research tells us Gen Z is the least HIV/AIDS aware generation.  That wasn't by accident.  They wanted you numb to the idea, to think it was safe & that HIV was no longer a threat.  They sold you a rose garden & gave you a embering trash fire. 

No matter your age, race, sex, etc... the info is out there.  It's online, at some schools, at health departments & other agencies that may be near you.  Educate yourself.  

Too many people think prevention is only abstinence or PrEP.  Condoms are widely available, easy to use & much cheaper.   There are tons of videos on HIV, STI's & condoms.  There are even vids explaining how to use them properly.  

Next, get tested, tested & tested again.  HIV testing isn't a 1 & done thing.   Unless you're celibate, having no contact with needles or blood, there is a chance for HIV & other STI's.  Many people lie about having an STI & even more don't even know they're infected.  Get Tested!

Knowledge, caution, condoms, testing...   These might keep you HIV-.

Cya...

Sunday, July 5, 2026

July Beginnings...

 

July's in full swing.  Most of the bills are paid & the water bill would've been if the city hall hadn't closed on Friday.  I get they wanted a 3 day weekend, but they should've posted about on the website or facebook.

The 4th is over & it rained last night.  It blew most the smoke away.  That was a change.  The smelly, haze from the fireworks normally lingers for hours.  There'll still be some people setting things off for a bit, but the lion's share of it should be over.

Later in the week is supposed to get hot.  I suppose we should count ourselves fortunate that it took this long to get here.  July has arrived.

Take care.

Cya...


Saturday, July 4, 2026

The 4th - Sights, Sounds & Smells...

 


The 4th is here.   That means a lot of noise, lights & odorous smoke.  Some fireworks are pretty & fun to watch.  But weeks of preamble sort of cheapen the main event.  It's like a concert with a barely OK main band preceded by dozens of unknown openers.

We don't have anything planned.  I can look out & see some of the show if I want.  Eventually the smoke will be an issue.  I hope those celebrating have a good holiday.

That's all for now, take care.  Happy 4th.

Cya...

Friday, July 3, 2026

Getting Things Started...

 


We'll handle bank stuff, some bills, groceries & errands today.  With the holiday & the way the month fell, we'll need to do more today than normal.  Monday's mail is already late arriving.  With the Saturday holiday it may be really delayed.

As far as I know this stuff will be all we have to handle today.  That's be OK, it's getting hot.   We don't have any plans for the holidays, we haven't in years.  

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Thursday, July 2, 2026

Pause Before...

 

It's a bit of a pause before the bills phase of the month starts.  We'll need to do more tomorrow, due to the 4th being this weekend.  Banks & things are supposed to be open Friday & Monday, but with this area, you never know for sure.  

This used to be a favorite holiday for me.  There was fireworks & often float trips, but for years I've drifted further & further from those days.  I feel little connection to any of the holidays these days.   Maybe, I'm just not on the list anymore. 

I hope it brings some joy to those revelling.  For me it's just another day with extra noise & smoke.  Maybe that's how it gets for a lot of people.  You're either on the bus drinking the Kool Aid or you aren't. 

Take care.

Cya...

Wednesday, July 1, 2026

July & Anal Cancer...

 

July is here, may it be a good month.  We need it.  It's at least sunny, so that's a start.  It's supposed to get hot.  

I found a good article today.   It concerns HIV, HPV & anal cancer.    While this cancer is still more prevalent in women, its numbers are high in men, especially those with HPV.  Men with HPV who engage sex with men are at a higher risk.  The chances grow if the person is HIV+.

The risk of anal cancer in HIV-positive men who have sex with men is now higher than the risk for cervical cancer was in women before the advent of Pap tests

Almost everyone who has ever had sex has been exposed to HPV, a large family of viruses that cause six types of cancer: anal cancer, cervical cancer, head and neck cancer, penis cancer, vaginal cancer, and vulvar cancer. 

Most people have been exposed to HPV & HIV can greatly increase the chances of it developing into cancer.  There is a vaccine.  It can be given to children & up to the mid 40s.  I had already aged out by the time I heard about the vaccine or I would've got it.

HIV is hard enough.  HPV alone can be deadly.  Combine them & it could be a disaster.   If you can, get vaccinated.  They have anal pap tests like cervical paps.  It's up to you to educate yourself.  Most likely your care provider won't even think about this matter.  

Give this piece a read.  Hello July, be good.  Take care.

Cya...

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Goodbye June 2026...

 

This month has been alright.  I needed some things to happen that rarely, if ever did.  Again, we're going to go from dark, humid & cooler to blazing Summer heat.  Yet  somehow, it's still overcast & muggy.  

July is almost here & I don't have much hope for the rest of this summer being better.  If it manages to be good, awesome, but I'm not banking on it.  I'm tired  of looking forward & only seeing warning signs & hazards.  

June, was OK, but not much more.  Maybe it was better for other people.  Take care.

Cya...

Monday, June 29, 2026

Lasts of June Things To Do...

 

June's nearly done.  We have some errands & shopping this morning.  It's the last grocery run of the month.  It's getting hot, the AC will be on soon.  

There wasn't much for articles this morning.  I did manage to get a hold of my specialist.  They hadn't set my telemed appointment.  The appointment used to be made before I left the current meeting.  They haven't had a consistent staff in some time.  Any way, appointment & lab dates are set.

That's all for this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

Sunday, June 28, 2026

1st Half...

 

The 1st half of 2026 is wrapping up.  This wasn't a great time for me.  I've had worse, but things definitely could've been better.  I guess next week is supposed to be the year's halftime show, with all the 4th stuff.  

I remember the bicentennial.  There was so much red, white & blue; on banners, streamers, even fire hydrants.  It seemed to be a lighter, more joyful time.  76 had a lot of issues, but compared to now, it probably felt like a dream to a lot of people.  50 years later & the crapfest is raging on.  

To every group that robbed the present of what it  could've been, I really hope you end in the most gruesome manner.  There could've been unity, joy & progress.  Instead there's turmoil, hate & greed.  May those who caused that turn have nothing but a horror show for the remainder of their lives.

This could've been a really cool 4th of July.  Instead we got this dumpster fire.  

Cya...

Saturday, June 27, 2026

National HIV Testing Day 2026...

 


National HIV Testing Day has rolled back around.  Here's a piece from POZ on the matter.  Normally the 1st articles I'd see would be from the CDC & HIV.Gov.  I didn't see anything from the CDC & had to go looking for this article from HIV.Gov.   

With the current administration's attitudes & actions; getting tested & being as safe as possible is more important than it has been in decades.  This government is not on your side when it comes to HIV.  Get informed, play safer & get tested.  You may be the only person trying to insure you're own health & well being.

Take care.

Cya...

Friday, June 26, 2026

Cloudy Last Friday...

 

It's a cloudy morning & the lasts of June have been here since Wednesday.  No more trash trips for June.  The weather is supposed to get hot.  Maybe it'll kill some of whatever's in the air making it hard to breathe.

I didn't find much for articles this morning.  Other than shopping, we don't have a lot.  That's good, neither of us are feeling that well.  Nighttime skunk walk-bys are making their presence known.  Some nights, the stink really gets to us.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Thursday, June 25, 2026

A Year Since...



This is the 1st picture we took of Machen.  The pic below is the last.   He was born on 10/11/23 & came to us 1/21/23.  He lived a brief, weird life.  He wasn't an easy kitten, but he was part of ours.  On 6/25/25 he took his final trip.  This was my post about that.  

 

It's seems longer than a year.  His presence was overwhelming.   It took months to get back to a pre-Machen normal.  Maybe that's a good thing.

Little cat that never quite learned his name, you were an experience & are missed.  May your next life be a joy with people who can give your more than we could.  

Remembering you,

Cya...

PS - Please be kind to strays & ferals.  They didn't ask for that life.  People did that & only people can help reduce the numbers of in-need animals.  Whether a stray is 4 legged or 2, if you can't be kind at least don't do them any harm.

Wednesday, June 24, 2026

The Worst Part...

 


The worst thing I do in a day is generally the worst part of my day & that's waking up.  It's such a massively stupid thing to do.  There's no good in it.  At least not for me.  

I've been trying to do well, but I'm not succeeding.  It's another dismal day & it doesn't look like there will be much sunlight until it's blazing.  Yesterday was OK until a Windows update.  My PC was working OK until then & now the media streaming service keeps turning off.  I can fix it, but I'll have to do it every time until this corrects itself.  Maybe the next update will do it.

Sleep wasn't easy last night.  There was a lot of noise.  The air was thick & the forecast rain never came.  It was just muggy.  I woke weird this morning & I'm achy & groggy.

In all seriousness, screw mornings, waking & crappy overcast skies.   I could've just never woke up & never known any of this.  But I had to wake up.

Cya...

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

Chance of Meh...

 


Even though rainfall averages have been passed, the weather feels the need for more storms.  There's chances for them all day.  The skies will be dark & there may be thunder, but there's not supposed to be much rain, just a lot of meh.

A lot of articles for months now have been about a single topic, funding.  The US's $ stunt has jeopardized the entire world's fight against HIV.  I hope the rest of the world figures out a way to operate completely  independent of US cash.   Maybe then, this country could be treated like it should be & left in a corner like a bad child.  For the sake of egos, wealth & politics, this administration is willing to let the world burn.  To hell with every MAGA, orange asshat & conservative. 

Cya...


Monday, June 22, 2026

Wet Start...

 


It dumped more rain last night, over half an inch.   It will start getting hot soon & with all this moisture, it isn't going to be fun.  I'm really trying to be present & enjoy the sun, but there's been so little of it.  By the time it's here, everything will be sweltering.  

We have shopping & errands to handle.  That should be it unless something comes up.  Here's hoping this is a good Summer.   Take care.

Cya...

Sunday, June 21, 2026

Summer Is Here...

 

The Summer Solstice is here.  It's going to start getting hot, if these clouds ever leave.  I'd much rather it be a bit hotter & drier, than cooler & humid.  It's the last third of June.  The weather forecast keep bouncing between sunny & hot or thunderstorms & sticky. 

Hotter weather will mean using more electricity for the AC.  It could also mean the grass starts getting mowed less & some of the bugs die back a bit.  I'm trying to have a decent Summer.  I've got a feeling this I'm not going handle this Fall well.   I really wish I could just stop at the beginning of September & not wake until March was nearly over.   I find the time in between not worth it all.

Welcome Summer, let it be a good season.

Cya...

Saturday, June 20, 2026

Not Optimum & The Stupid Orange...

 

I was actually having a decent day yesterday & then it rained & we had to go shopping.  Walmart's parking lot was mostly fenced off so they could repave.  The open part was packed.  For some reason, with the parking lot, twice the shoppers seemed to be there.  

It was not fun.  But still, I was having an OK day.  I guess that was just too much for things.  About 5:30, the internet went down & stayed out until this morning.  Something just had to keep pulling at the threads & my decent day unraveled.  Maybe I'm just not supposed to have those.

I found an article that continues to show monstrous nature of the orange bastard & his ilk.  tRump has signed an executive order to end all AIDS funding to South Africa.  In this country where a rich, white minority created apartheid, a situation that's impact is still felt today, the orange feels white people are being treated badly.  There is no evidence of this.  White people are no longer being treated like nobility.  This is the country where some of the richest, white people come from like Elon Musk.

tRump also says it's because they opposed Israel's war, that they country shouldn't be helped.  The promise of US AIDS funds has been broken.  The administration may single-handedly bring back the HIV epidemic of the 80s.  Way to go MAGA.

Cya...

PS - It's the last day of Spring 2026 & it might find some sunlight sometime today, maybe not.  Spring was not a great season for me.

Friday, June 19, 2026

Another Wet June Morning...

 

June has been a lackluster month again.  It could've easily passed April with the rain, storms & gloom.  I guess sunny Junes are a thing of the past.  I wonder how wedding traditionalists feel about that.  A July wedding it is then.  

We've got shopping & that's about it today.  I'm glad.  It's hard to get motivated to do anything with this dreary weather.

That's all, take care.

Cya...

Thursday, June 18, 2026

A Bit Rough...

 


The night before last night, right before I was getting ready for bed, there were skunks outside.   There was that smell & it was intense.   This time though, it made me nauseous & give me a headache.  

I spent a lot of yesterday with migraine like symptoms, minus the migraine.  Sounds, smells, lights were all much intense than they should've been.  Things were fading until about 5 or so.  Then the lawn guy showed & mowed.  The noise & smell pushed me right back into it.   Then the nausea & headache were back & watery eyes were an add-on.  

Hopefully today is skunk-free & my head can clear out.  That's all for now, take care,

Cya...

Wednesday, June 17, 2026

Pointless...

 

If I could rewrite this story, I'd end it on the night I graduated with my doctorate.   That was the last high point I had & even that wasn't great.  I knew I didn't have anything lined up after.  It's been downhill since & that was decades ago.  If I'd died then, there would've been some accomplishment,  acknowledgement.  It wouldn't have devolved into the crapfest of failure it became.  

I'd definitely ended it before I moved here.   That was a horrible decision.   I wouldn't have made it into the 2000's & got diagnosed.  At every point that there's been some sign of possibility the door has always closed; sometimes slowly, others slammed. 

The people of this state slammed another door last night.  They voted to keep the lowest possible minimum wage.  If I could, I'd move, but that's not really an option.  I'm pretty sure I won't be changing locations until I die.   The entire state's a trap.

To every asshat that voted against helping others make a decent living, your malignant selves are destroying the thing you say you love.  Talk about an abusive relationship.

Cya...

Tuesday, June 16, 2026

FDA, Gilead, Yeztugo Again...

 

This article notes the FDA is allowing Gilead to proceed with an investigation into prescribing Yeztugo as a weekly, oral PrEP med.  It's already approved as a bridge between normal PrEP medications & the long acting, injection of Yeztugo or lenacapavir

If successful, it will be another option for prevention.  Some people may want or not tolerate the long acting injections for PrEP.  For them, oral meds may remain the better option.  Still, weekly means 52 doses not 365.   That's over 300 less pills & chances to miss the dose.

This was a good article, give it a read.  Take care.

Cya...

Monday, June 15, 2026

Little Green Felt Was Wrong...

 

A notable Yoda quote is, “No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”  The implied meaning is that saying you'll try is creating a built-in plan for accepting failing as an outcome.  I get what is meant here, but I still call BS.  There are people that go into things with everything intent on "doing" but don't succeed.  They're efforts ended in failure & they will have to decide whether of not to "try" again.    

Like it or not, failure is always an option.  No matter how much plan, how hard you push, how much you want; you can still fail.  That isn't, "do not."  That's a failed attempt.

I find this approach almost as awful as being toxically positive.  There's a near aggressive mindset to this philosophy, that if you fail it's always on you.  You didn't push hard enough, plan well, believe, have faith, cross your fingers or some other nonsense.  Sometimes you fail no matter what.  They say what comes next is the important part.  But sometimes there's just not enough left to push again.

I never liked that muppet.

Cya...

Sunday, June 14, 2026

More Rain Dumped...

 

It poured over an inch more rain last night.  We're near, if not over double the monthly rainfall.  That left this morning dark & hazy.  I doubt there will be any sunlight today, just a harsh glare through the clouds.  Upside to this, is the temperature should be lower.

Not much going on here.  I've somehow hurt my left hand.  It was sore most of yesterday.  It's still a little sore this morning.  Hopefully, this will calm down.   I really don't need another health issue.

That's it for this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

Saturday, June 13, 2026

Hazy Meh...

 

Another June is being wasted by damned clouds & storms.  This morning has been aggressively hazy.  The neighbors were loud this morning & the humidity is still high.  It's supposed to storm more tonight.  Like we needed that.    

June 2026, you are sucking.  When did this month become nearly the darkest of year?  There's more light later in the day, but most of it is still dreary.  

Besides waking achy & dehydrated, that's my gripe for this morning.  Take care.

Cya..

Friday, June 12, 2026

Could've Gone Better...

 


This crappy 2026 Spring continues with more haze, drear & storms.   It's gotten hot, but any light has been fleeting.  This muggy, dark mess sucks.  It rained more last night.  A little more & it'll double the monthly rainfall average.  

Neither of us felt well yesterday.  I wound up forgetting something we planned on doing.  It'll have to get handled this morning on top of all the normal Friday stuff.   Way to go me, make more of a mess for yourself.

I need to get around.  We have shopping & errands.  Hopefully nothing else pops up.  

Take care.

Cya...

Wednesday, June 10, 2026

Seasonal Wrap...

 

The solstice is near.  Weathermen started Summer at the beginning of the month.  Spring is leaving for the year.   I think it's time to take a bit of an assessment.  I'll try to be honest.  This Spring was not fun, good or helpful.  It was dark, & trying.  

The weather last year was no better, but we seemed to be in a better place.  There were plans, ambitions, goals...  But all that's pretty much gone.  It was always a possibility that would be the way of things, but for a while things had traction.  Not trying to point blame here.  I'm certainly not helping much.  But, I don't see things making a come back.  

Things started fading late last Fall.  There were reasons.   A different tactic was tried & seemed to help for a bit.  Then that was gone too.  By deep Winter things had fizzled.  I didn't say anything for a bit, then later I did & there were acknowledgements.  By February, as far I could tell, it was all gone.  Spring brought more issues, challenges & not much else.

Things could change, but I think that chapter's closed.  Again, it's not like I was doing much.  Maybe The Sundays had it right, "Here's where the story ends."  I don't know what this Summer holds.  I doubt it'll anything good for me.   The season will start with no real plans on my part, just a fair certainty things will only get worse.

Cya...


Tuesday, June 9, 2026

Brighter, Warmer & Steamier...

 

It finally got brighter yesterday, but after all that rain, it's a steam pit.  It'll take a bit for all that moisture to burn off.  It won't help if we get a lot more rain.  

It's bright again this morning.  That made it easier to wake up.   It's still very muggy.

I tried a different kind of store bought chili.  I usually make ours at home.  This stuff was awful.  I tossed the leftovers out in the yard.  It's still there this morning.   Usually with an hour or so, whatever I toss out is gone.  It's almost gone by the next day.  That means, no animal traipsing through my yard wanted anything to do with that stuff.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

PS - Keep forgetting to say that the rose of sharon bushes & tiger lilies have been blooming for about a week.

Monday, June 8, 2026

Dreary, Wet & Muggy...

 

The area monthly rainfall averages were met & surpassed by the 1st week of June.  There's some local flooding, but I haven't seen any postings about anything serious.   That could change with more rain still in the forecast.  

It's still dreary & muggy.  This isn't fun to wake up too.  It makes getting around hard.  This time of year, putting clothes on after a shower is a sticky process.  

There were articles, mostly over things I've posted about a lot.  Some posts seemed too in the "proof-of-concept" phase to be worth it.  At least there was something.

I'm trying to do better this morning.  These skies aren't helping any.  It's nearly Summer Solstice & it's still this dark.  Summer used to be my reprieve, now there's nothing.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Sunday, June 7, 2026

It's Trying...

 

2026 is turning out to be a bad year for me.  2025 was hard & it crashed into this year.  The expenses kept coming.  It's stayed dark & dreary.  Very little is moving along like it should.  Everything is just trying.

It's June & it's still dark.  Things that should've been settled months, perhaps years ago, are still ongoing.  New crap keeps popping up.  I can only juggle so much.

The 1st week of June has been rough.  I've been in panicky, anxious & mad.  It's looking like another dark Summer.  I've spent a couple of days so wound up, I thought was going to be sick.  I never was, but the queasiness & nerves just wouldn't settle down.  

I've been diagnosed with HIV, had pneumonia, COVID, a stroke, etc...  But so far this year has feels like it belongs in the top 3 of my worst years of the 2000s.  What's bad is, I know it could get worse.  I'm just trying to get through this & I'm not doing that very well.

Take care.

Cya...

Saturday, June 6, 2026

Healthspan & Flu Meds...

 

There's a continuum between quality & quantity.   Most opt for the most over the best.   I want the most candy over a single bite of the best.  But that shouldn't be the case when it comes to a person's life.  Lifespan is how long someone will live.  But another concept healthspan or healthy life expectancy, is how long the individual will life in a mostly healthy state absent of chronic illness or injury.  

When it comes to HIV, new meds have led to a near normal lifespan.  That isn't always the case for healthspan.  Many with HIV+ age faster than normal & face health issues earlier or more intensely; cognitive decline or increased susceptibility to some cancers.  

According to this piece, this is due to the inflammation caused by HIV even when suppressed.  HIV impacts the bodies ability to fight.  The research reported a sugar molecule in the body called glycans help control inflammation.  While glycans dip as we age, it can be worse for women as the enter menopause.  But in HIV+ people these glycans levels lessen & with that their ability to control inflammation.

Research is studying a medication to inhibit this effect.  A group of meds referred to as sialidase or neuraminidase inhibitors can lessen degradation of glycan levels.  These compounds are found in common anti-flu meds such as Tamiflu.  

This research is in the very beginning, but could prove very useful.  They aren't promoting flu meds as a treatment for HIV related inflammation.  They're saying the chemicals in these meds could be lead to new treatments for the condition.  Which could impact a host of inflammation induced ailments.

Give it a read.  Take care.

Cya...

Friday, June 5, 2026

Not a Good Friday...

 


This isn't a good morning.  There's a more talk of HIV funding getting further cut.  There's also the chance they could require HIV+ work requirements to get medicaid.   I'm not sure what this will mean for me.  Of course they aren't giving the choice to end it all.  I think with the way things are, a lot of people might choose that option.  

It's a crappy dark morning & it's like I feel every miserable cloud.  I don't think I'm getting over SAD ever.  I hate waking up so damned much.  It's in the top worst things I ever do.   It takes me hours just to be functional & then more time to feel normal.  By then, it's getting dark again.  Things aren't & probably won't ever get better.

There's errands & bills to handle.  Take care.

Cya...

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Some Done & Finally...

 

The beginning of bills & some errands were handled yesterday.   I picked up my meds & by the time we got home, the lawn guy was mowing.  We're happy about that.  It'd been over a month since the yard got handled.  It was a shaggy mess.  But, it took that long for the rain to stop & grass to dry enough to be cut. 

We don't have much on for today.  We'll finish the bills tomorrow.  That's it for now.

Take care.

Cya...

Wednesday, June 3, 2026

June Stuff...

 

It's the 1st of the month, time to handle bills & errands.   I need to pick up meds today.  We're hoping to get the lawn mowed soon.  It looks like a meadow.  But it keeps raining & drenching everything.  It dumped over an inch yesterday.  This stupid version of June is supposed to be rain happy & dark.  So much for dealing with SAD.  

That's it for now.  I need to get things done so we can deal with all this.  Take care.

Cya...

Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Still Dark In June...

 

Again June is a dark mess.  It's almost Summer & this looks like a morning in January.  Of course it had to storm.  It was supposed to last night & didn't.  That made sleeping less than pleasant.  I'm just tired of this.  Why the hell did I wake up?

I needed this dark crap to be over, but hey that doesn't matter.  The mood I've been in, the world could burn & I'd be fine.  I'm just too over this to care about much anymore.  I'm tired of being scared, anxious, stressed.  I'm just tired & pissed that I woke up.  

I have a 80s pin somewhere that says, "Life's a bitch & then you die."   That's not right.   Life is a bitch, but you don't just to die, you linger.    You don't thrive, you just exist.

That's it this morning.  To hell with June & its BS storms & drear.  Apparently there is no bright season anymore.  I hope all you cloud lovers choke.

Cya...

Monday, June 1, 2026

Hello June...

 

Hello June, I know it's a lot to ask, but it'd be great if this was a nice month.  I need really need it.  I've not been doing that well & this is my last season of being in my 50s.  

I haven't had a good year in quite a while.  I can barely get a decent few hours.   I was more hopeful last year at this time.  There were possibilities, I think those are gone.  

The small wants I had; to be more secure, less scared & anxious, to have some small things to look forward, to not die in this damn hovel, etc...  I let myself think it might be possible.  I did it to myself again.  It's unlikely any of that will ever happen.  

June, I repeat my request for a nice month.  It doesn't have to be anything big, just pleasant & a little less stressful.  I'm tired of waking up & being angry I'm still here.  I dont' want any seasons in my 60s.  Things will only be worse.  Nothing's coming, nothing's going to get better.   

It feels like there's so little of me left.  Every time something looks like it could be good or get better, it's a fake out or a let down.  Even if something good did come along.  It'd be just enough to screw things up, not fix anything.  I want things to go well or just end.  

That's all, hello June, sorry for the ask.

Cya...

Sunday, May 31, 2026

Goodbye May...

 

May's ending on warm note.   We're finally getting some sunlight, just not enough to get rid of this humidity.  Other than a couple of appointments, May didn't bring us much.  Maybe that's OK.  It didn't bring us much bad either.  Most of the month was just overcast & hazy.  

Tomorrow will start the 1st of the month stuff again.  Goodbye May.  At least you're ending on a blue moon.  Take care.

Cya...

Saturday, May 30, 2026

Friday Issues...

 

If something around here is going break or screw up, it'll most likely be on a Friday night.   That leaves us the weekend to deal with whatever messed up.  Last night, my blood pressure monitor crapped out on me.  It kept giving me odd readings.  I tried to adjust the positioning, nothing worked.  By the time, I switched to my old cuff, I'd irritated myself & my reading was higher than it should've been.  The old cuff read a little high anyway.

At 1st, I thought it was bad batteries, but those in it were newer.  I tried some others & still nothing.   I'd planned on getting up this morning & going to get better batteries.  But, I thought to look up the lifespan of a blood pressure cuff.  I'm way past the time given as an average.  This morning I ordered a new cuff from Walmart.  It should be here today.  

We'll see how this goes.  Take care.

Cya...

Friday, May 29, 2026

Lingering...

 

For some time now, we've had stuff linger on into the next month.  We haven't just been able to shut the door on a month & move on.  These things are just camped out by the door unresolved.  The problem is a lot of these issues aren't things we can control or even influence.  It's just a waiting game while things get handled.  Some of this should've been handled years ago & may not be handled until late Summer.

Even if everything got wrapped up by August, that'd just be the beginning of what this household would have to face.  It could be at least another month of more before things settle for us.   Most 2026 could get tarnished by something neither of us could control.  

May will be another month with carry over because of other people's BS.   At least we finally met our rainfall averages.

Cya...

Thursday, May 28, 2026

Day After Appointments...

 

The day of errands & appointments went alright.   The appointments themselves went fine.  Getting over there & back was a little annoying.   The traffic was weird & patchy.  Then it decided to storm during most of the outing.

We got home & it rained for the rest of the day.  I'm dealing with day after cleaning teeth.  Everything feels a little off & sensitive.   That's handled for the next 6 months.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Wednesday, May 27, 2026

Rushed Morning...

 


This is going to be quick.  I need to get some stuff handled, then shower, then eat, then rebrush my teeth & anything else I'm forgetting.  After that, drive over to Fort Smith handle appointments, errands & get something to eat before driving home.  That's not mentioning getting trash to the curb.  

For us, this will be a busy day.  Take care.

Cya...

Tuesday, May 26, 2026

Not Much Tuesday...

 

We don't have a lot to handle today, just stuff we'd normally deal with on Wednesday.  But, there are appointments & errands scheduled for tomorrow.  It's supposed to rain again today.  That might be the way of things for the rest of the month.

I guess as we have this maga bs articles are going to be scarce.  There was pieces out today, but nothing pertaining to what I post about.  Articles are past a dry spell, even a slump, this is a drought.  

That's all, take care.

Cya...

Monday, May 25, 2026

The Lasts Of May...

 

Today is Memorial Day & the last Monday of the month.  Soon, the whole 1st of the month thing will start again.  I'm not happy with this month.  It's brighter this morning, but most of May has been overcast to stormy dark.  I'm just trying to get my head in a good place & not much seems to be cooperating.

Shopping is the only thing on the list for today.  This week will be a little busier, due to some appointments in Fort Smith.  Nothing big, just have to drive over & back.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Sunday, May 24, 2026

More Muggy Haze...

 

Hazy mornings make it hard to wake up.  Their muggy nature can make me achy & stiff.  Nothing's planned for today & tomorrow is Memorial day so there won't be any mail.   Our week will be rescheduled.   We'll have to handle some Wednesday stuff on Tuesday because of midweek appointments. 

There weren't any articles & nothing else is going on, so this it for now.   Take care.

Cya..

Saturday, May 23, 2026

Forecast Lied...

 

There was no call for dark, noisy storms this morning, but here they are.   Waking this morning has been a challenge.  The bad part of all this, even though the storms won't stop & the skies won't clear, there hasn't been that much precipitation.  We're still short of the monthly rainfall average.

May hasn't been a bad month, but it certainly hasn't been good time either.  I don't why I keep looking for good times.  Those haven't been a thing for while now.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Friday, May 22, 2026

Appointment, Again & Ugh...

 

My medical appointment went as expected, no surprises.   I scheduled the next time.   Now on to my midweek dental cleaning.  Then my stuff can be handled for a bit.  

Yet another dental office is being reported as a possible exposure site for HIV.  This piece says a  Philadelphia dentist office had possible exposures of bodily fluids between patients.   More details haven't been provided at this time.

I finally sleep well after 3 nights.  It'd been nice to wake up to a nice day, but no.  It's still raining & dark.  May have been such a sucky, dark month the last few years.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

I manaed to 

Thursday, May 21, 2026

Bad Morning...

 

This is not a good morning.  It's dark & I'm up early.  I didn't sleep well.  The weather was muggy & not quite warm enough for a fan.  Everything made noise & kept waking me.  

I have an appointment soon & need to get out of here.  I got a notice, my credit score had dropped a bit.  A store credit card I had got cancelled.  They usually send out a notification for inactivity, but not this time.   If I need again, I can apply.  It wasn't something I needed often, so maybe later.

That's all for now, so far this morning sucks.

Cya...