You For You...

 

We're that it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves.  To do what we can on our own.  To an extent that's fine, past that it's BS.  That's fine until people feel you're pushing.  By pushing, I mean, when you start advocating for yourself.  Many of us don't have anyone else to stand up & speak for us.  We have to do this for ourselves.  If not, someone may make a decision that doesn't work for or nothing will get done at all.

When your HIV+, advocacy will be necessary.  Throughout your life, you'll need to stand up for yourself.  Here are some starting points.  Be as educated about the subject as possible & that includes information about yourself.   Read, search, discuss & go over it all again.  Become the expert on you & your particular situation.  No one knows you better than you.

Be proactive when you can & stay on top of things.  Make appointments & keep them.  Have questions prepared about what you need to know.  Be ready with statements about what's going on with you & what you need.  

These things can be emotional, but you need to remain as calm.  Some people will use your emotions against you.  Communicate as precisely as possible about your situation, needs & areas you need more information about.  

Be thorough.  Follow up on our appointments, get referrals, do your regimen.  If something doesn't seem right, see about another opinion on the matter.  

The last area is harder.  If you can, build support.  There's nothing in my area, but some cities have support groups & outreach centers.  If there's nothing local, check online.  That may not fill the void you need for socializing, but there may be info you're lacking.  People there may know about meds, exams, doctors & what to expect down the road.

You're going to have bad encounters.   There will those who won't do their jobs well, people who discriminate, those that avoid you...  You can't do anything about those people.  The best you can do is avoid them if possible.  Know your rights as a client/patient & make sure they're upheld.  File complaints, as objectively as possible.

So, identify your situation & needs.   Educate yourself & try to form a plan.  Communicate your needs.  Then do it all over again until things run smoother.  There will be adjustments down the line.   Things will change for the better & worse, that's life.  Go back to the beginning & reformulate the plan again.  

Advocating can be tiresome & never ending.  But if you don't, it's possible no one will.  You deserve the best chance you can get.

Cya..

A Want..

 

There are a lot of things I'd like in this world, too bad most of them seem highly unlikely to ever be a reality; like enough resources to feel secure.  It was good sleeping weather last night & I got some much needed rest.  I'd like not have to be so dependent on the whims of nature as to how I sleep.  But that isn't something in my life.

So, I'm thinking of something that should be possible.  Whatever the estimate, it's always over a 1 million people in the US who are HIV+.  The virus is over 4 decades old.  Other than testing (done at labs) & new meds (pharmacy), little has changed since 2000.  Why do I still need a specialist?  Why isn't HIV treatment as available as anything else at your primary care's office?  It's time for this to be so common you don't need specialist.  Mine hasn't offered any new information on my illness in over decade.

Just my thoughts & wants.  I want enough to be secure & to no longer have to go to a specialist for my HIV.  At least part of that seems feasible.

Cya...

January's Last Oops...

 

Today is the last day of January 2024.  I used to have favorite months & times of the year.  Now, at least for me, they all seem off & wrong.  Mind you, they're distinctive levels & flavors of awfulness, but still pretty trying.  Winter is my least favorite season.  Take the dark, freezing temps & throw the in a trash fire. 

The oops of this post is something unexpected.  I don't know if it is exactly belongs for here.  Maybe it's perfectly fitted for my blog.   Elmo, yes Elmo, on his Twitter (refuse to use X) asked a simple question on the 29th.   This piece covers it more, but it's all over the net.  He asked...

Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?

9:46 AM · Jan 29, 2024

·

177.3M

Views

The question was met with a tidal wave of emotional responses.  People described their fear, anxieties, worries...   A muppet asked a benign question & was met with an avalanche of social angst, aggravation, frustration & trauma. 

The question may have been simplex.  It may have been mundane.  But the response was far off the mark from what was probably expected.   Maybe it shouldn't have been.  Did the little bit of fun fur just poked the dike in the weakest place & send a torrent spewing forth?  Maybe this will start a conversation.  It could be cathartic.  Maybe some people will realize just how hard things have been on themselves & others.

This isn't an easy time for anyone.  With what's going on in the world, in this country, how could it be?  People are spent.  They're down to their last nerve & all out of spoons.  Maybe, just try being kind.  If you can't be kind, just walk away & let people be.

Goes to show, even the smallest comment can lead to a firestorm.   Have a heart, be kind.  Some days we're all strays who just need a little compassion.

Goodbye January.

Take care.

Cya...

The Why's Of It All...

 

A lot of people, including myself occasionally, ask the perpetual question, "Why?".  Why am I here? Why did that happen to me?  What's the why of any of these things in my life?   The 1st hard pill is that a lot of what happens in our life are due to consequences of our own decisions.   Mind you, I said a lot, not all.  I'll also say our decision making process was shaped by those around us, who may not have been so great at the concept.

I'm not trying to let us off the hook for everything.  There's a lot of stuff we should know by a certain age.  It just may not be what everyone else knows.  Especially not those few who actually had good parents.  The rest of us are trying to cope with generations of bad decisions bearing on our worlds.

Back to the why's.  Why are we here?  That's generally due to the sloppy, selfishness of previous generations. Your parent's couldn't use birth control or decided they just had to have a baby. (Never a good idea)  You had no part in why you're here.  So there is no good reason for it & searching for that purpose will probably just drive you insane.

Now on to crap happens.  It does & it happens to everybody.  It's just some people due to their own machinations or those of the people around were mostly sheltered from the fallout.  A lot of us are on own & have no such protections.

We need to ask why.  That's the only way we can ever see if there's something we could do to avoid the same crapfest further down the road.  Sometimes you can, but not always.   Really asking the why's & trying to deal with them is hard & exhausting.  

All I can say, is bad things will happen.  We can only deal with them & try to avoid them the best we can with what we have.   We should try to live in a place that allows us solace, not somewhere constantly testing our ability to survive.   Survival isn't living.  It's taxing & some day our skills to do so will fail.

My hope for most of us is safe harbor, even if just long enough to breath.

Cya...

Maybe Storms...

 

The sky's looking a little weird & there are storms in the forecast.  I'll post something for now.  It's not like there were any good articles out today.  They keep posting pieces about how well the HIV numbers are in the US, but then have to bring it down by stating there's still racial inequity in the fight.  What do they want?  Are people supposed to track down HIV+ POC & test/dose them?   If people of other races & ethnicities refuse to get on board with the fight against HIV, what is everyone else supposed to do?  I'd like so serious answers to that question.

Cya...