Chance of Meh...

 

Even though rainfall averages have been passed, the weather feels the need for more storms.  There's chances for them all day.  The skies will be dark & there may be thunder, but there's not supposed to be much rain, just a lot of meh.

A lot of articles for months now have been about a single topic, funding.  The US's $ stunt has jeopardized the entire world's fight against HIV.  I hope the rest of the world figures out a way to operate completely  independent of US cash.   Maybe then, this country could be treated like it should be & left in a corner like a bad child.  For the sake of egos, wealth & politics, this administration is willing to let the world burn.  To hell with every MAGA, orange asshat & conservative. 

Cya...

Here We Go...

 

The orange stain had Rubio pause all foreign aid.  It will most likely never begin again.  This article refers to the order's effect, to once again shut down PEPFAR, the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief started by George W Bush.  His orangeness also reinstated the Global Gag Rule.  This prevents any agency that advocates, educates or provides abortions or most sexual and reproductive health care from receiving aid.  That includes even if they use their own funds to promote the matters.

The results of this are easy to see.  This will cripple the fight against HIV/AIDS.  More people will contract HIV, die from the virus & children that can't be supported will be born.  These asshats have declared extortion as their weapon of choice in their siege war on decent & charitable actions.  

That's all for now take care.

Cya..

Longest Study...

 

This piece is a history article.  The longest running studies of HIV/AIDS are 40 years old.  It's a good piece about the programs.  While the article doesn't offer much new info, sometimes it's good to remember what came before.  

The piece shows researchers & medical professionals are trying.  If there are lacking parts in the fight against HIV it's not them.  It's with those who represent us in politics, religion, education & our communities.  Any failure in this matter is with individuals & groups that refuse to acknowledge the reality of HIV.   Instead they want to promote stigma, ignorance & fear.  Some are just too disenfranchised to engage in their own care or well being.  I understand that, but it shouldn't impact others.

Give the piece a read & take care.

Cya...

Anniversaries & New Years For My Blog & HIV...

 

I started this blog 13 years ago.  I'm surprised it & I are still going.  I guess I could've started earlier, but I wasn't in the headspace for it.  For a while I was still living with my last roommate.  His inconsideration wound up causing a lot of stress & issues.  When I did start living with my roomie, it took us a while to get things down.  Not that we didn't get along, but it was all new.  Patterns had to be developed so everything went as smoothly as possible.  When I look back at the beginning of this blog in some ways I was worse off medically & emotionally, but still a bit more hopeful about the future.   

On January 3, 2000 I was diagnosed with AIDS.  I've said before I probably had been + for some time, but the tests didn't catch it.  They said I might have 5 years.  I tested at such a level & was in such bad shape, I left HIV+ in the dust & went straight to AIDS.  Here it is 24 years later.   I won't say it's been easy, because it hasn't.  There are times when I wish the 5 years had been accurate.  Life with HIV on disability is stressful & can be pretty damned scary.  I guess I should feel gratitude, but I really don't.  This has not been a fun ride & nearly every step has had it's hard points.

I'm here & the blog's still going.  They're 13 & 24.  My blog is officially a teenager & my HIV can almost get decent insurance.  I don't know what this year will hold for myself, this blog or anything else.  I guess we'll see.  For now, thanks for reading my thoughts, reactions, highs & lows.  It's the closest thing to a record of me.  Even if only a couple of people ever look at it, at least someone will know it & I are/were here.

Happy Blog & HIV day to me.  Remember to acknowledge your milestones.  Take care.

Cya..

Madonna...

 

I've not always been the biggest Madonna fan.  I was never really a hater, but I could walk on by & be fine with it.  This piece is how the singer made a splash recently.  During the a performance of her latest tour, she held a memorial for those who died of AIDS, including people very close to her.  It's a good read.  For those too young, it was hard to be anywhere during the 80s & 90s & not lose people too AIDS.  We still do today, but back then it seemed like the wave of dying would never stop. 

Made it through another day without a crapfest.  Maybe we can make it a 3rd, that'd be novel.  I'm trying hard to stay in a decent place. Brighter mornings make it easier.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

2030 & Done...

 

There is this drive to end AIDS by 2030.  It's good to have goals, but I doubt this is obtainable.   I'm not even sure what the definition of being rid of AIDS is for them.  Is it that there are no more actual occurrences of HIV so severe as to be termed AIDS?  Or is it, there are no further transmissions of HIV?

Either way, I don't think it's something that will happen.  They still won't demand standard testing for HIV & other STI during routine doctor visits.  Without testing, you can't know a person's status or treat those with HIV.  There's still not enough education & awareness.  The trend to lean on PrEP over condoms is failing.  It's failing so hard, that other STI are soaring & becoming drug resistant. 

Beyond that, only some of the world seems to care about ending HIV.  The rest doesn't care, thinks HIV is a culling, supports crap science or just won't culturally engage in the fight against HIV.  For whatever reasons, part of the world can't fight for the whole world against this virus.  It will take all of us & that's not going to happen.

It'd be great if no one else ever contracted HIV.  I doubt I'll live to see that.  Stop reaching for straws of hope & grab hold of things we know work in this fight.  

Cya...

HIstory & January Ending...

 

Wikipedia has entriesy over the History of HIV/AIDS & a Timeline of Early HIV/AIDS Cases.  Until now, most of these begin around WWII.   This piece challenges that & proposes the 1st case could've been transferred to a starving WWI soldier in the Cameroon area.  The man was most likely was injured while hunting chimps for food after supplies ran out.  This allowed for the transfer of a simian virus to become the precursor of modern HIV.  It's an interesting read.

It's the last day of January 2021.  It's been an stressful & eventful month.  Here's hoping February brings better times.  Goodbye January, what went wrong wasn't your doing. Maybe next year will go better.

Cya...

Allegation...

 

I saw an article yesterday that I didn't know how to react to it.  I decided to wait.  This morning there were more stories on the subject.  This piece alleges  a Navy veteran was never informed he was HIV+.  He was tested in 1995 as a standard battery of screenings at this time.  

He claims he was never made aware of his status.   The vet had been disabled & used the VA for medical treatment.  He says it wasn't until 2015 he was informed by some doctor asking about his HIV.   It took another 3 years to get a definite diagnosis & start treatment.  

Meanwhile, he developed AIDS.  He would've been HIV+ prior to the 1995 test & that would be 20+ without knowing his status.  He went through a host of HIV related ailments.  Other articles say he was in a long term relationship.  Most likely that person is also + now.  

If this article is true, it's heinous.  But how do you have HIV for nearly 25 years & not know something is seriously wrong with you or just die?  I'm not saying this isn't true, but's very odd.  I'll keep watching this matter.

Cya...

Still Here...

I'm not going to post much over this article.  There's little I could add.  It's interviews with long-term HIV survivors.   I hate the word survivor, it's more like we endured HIV than outlasted it.  The piece asks how or if the world has changed in regards to HIV/AIDS?  What they would tell people about living with HIV?  They asked the subjects about their concerns & what they would want others to know.

This was a good read.  If you're interested give it a look.  Some of these people saw the horror show of the early AIDS years. 

Take care.

Cya...

Long Haul...

Back in 2000, when I was diagnosed, they gave me an estimate of 5 years, at most 10.  That was it.  The way I felt then, I thought they were being far too generous.  But, I was wrong.  17 years later & I'm still here.  So Yippie.

That was sarcasm.  That's been 17 hard years of living on nothing & then finally disability. It's been exhausting & sometimes scary as hell.  I'm grateful for what I have, but it's not enough to live solo if I had to.  It just isn't.  Each year with this disease, things creep up on me faster than people without it.  

They won't call it ARC (AIDS Related Complex or Complication) these days.  That term is out of vogue.  Hell, they don't even like using the word AIDS, it might scare the youngins.  But, my doctor repeatedly said my compromised immunity was part of the reason I landed in the hospital this last time.  It wasn't the only reason, but it sure didn't help any.

This article is about long term survivors of AIDS/HIV.  I'm not going to talk much about it.  It isn't lengthy or too deep.  It's just an interview, but it lets you gt a look at the life of the long term survivor.  It isn't pretty.   BTW,  I'm not considered 1 of these people,  These people came from way back.  I'm the next group out.  Still feeling it though.

Cya...

Rush Job...

Let's start with, I'm not an Arquette fan, any of them.    That's not a statement against them as people or actors.  I'm just not typically fond of their work.   Especially Alexis', it just wasn't what I like.  Now, that's out of the way.

Alexis Arquette has passed.  The media has swarmed in on this trans actor's death.  I don't typically use the word actress, so I won't now.  The media is gushing over how she absolutely passed from AIDS-related complications.   To the best of my knowledge, no official word has been made on the issue.   It won't matter, the vultures have seized on their tidbit & they're never letting go.  Even if they are wrong.

Was Alexis +?  I don't know.  What I know is a person died & all the media can do is wallow in the mess like dogs in crap.   Even allegedly reputable cites are talking about her death with certainty.  Without an M.E.'s report, I don't see how that's possible.

Even with a death, people love to revel in exploitation.  They're thrilled to point out the stigma.  For most it's just another horrible car wreck on the roadside they can't stop staring at. Nasty vermin.

Cya...

We Shut Up...

This article is about  how we don't talk about HIV & AIDS anymore, not really.  When I was a teen & 20 something, back during the '80s & '90s, there was info on HIV everywhere.  It was on billboards, magazine insets, posters at school.  There were drag shows & benefits held at gay bars to give to AIDS charities helping people living with HIV.    You couldn't turn to any form of media without HIV eventually showing up in the conversation.  

They thought they were helping by getting the word out there.  But, the way they approached it, all it accomplished was desensitizing the public to the subject.   We were bombarded & overwhelmed.    HIV was a scary & highly stigmatized subject in the 90's.   All this info overload was taxing &  isolating.  Most adverts were aimed at highly, sexually active gay men & IV drug users.  Not something, a lot of people wanted to be associated with back then or now.

People got tired of hearing about it,  People always get annoyed hearing things they don't want to after a while.  No matter how relevant. I wondered if some of that wasn't intentional on some groups part.  Let's desensitize them to this & they'll get lax on the matter.  

If that was the case, it's working.  HIV is spreading due to ignorance & lack of communication.  Treatment as prevention isn't going to stop HIV. We need serious & genuine conversation.  We need to talk about the issue, not have it blasted at us by 50' billboards or unnerving magazine inserts.   We need to discuss the topic & promote awareness, risks, testing, treatment & understanding.

We need to use our words again.  Not as a judgement or a means to separate, but as a means to unite & move forward against HIV.

Cya...

Strange Realization...

I recently became aware of something that shouldn't bother me, but it's odd & a little disturbing.  When I was diagnosed with HIV, I was actually diagnosed as having AIDS.  My CD4 count was non-existent & my viral load was astronomical.   After I'd been on my regimen, my counts slowly improved.  I've only gotten above a CD4 count of 400 a few times, but my viral load is undetectable.

It's unlikely, I'll ever be at the target range for all my counts.  I started meds very late in the game.  Early application of a medical regimen does have a notable affect on long term health & activity levels.  I may never be where they want me to be or feel like I'd prefer.  Still, I'm better than I was, most days at least.

No matter what my numbers or how I feel, my diagnosis is still AIDS.  I tell people HIV, but actually according to legalities & health officials, I'm a PWA, a person with AIDS.   I guess I am, but still it's odd.

I remember how I felt in those days.  I could barely function.  I didn't want to eat.  Breathing was a challenge.  Any thing beyond sleep was a real effort.   Some days are bad now, some are very bad. But not like then, when they all were.

I don't tell people I have AIDS.  They freak out enough over HIV.  But as far as the medical community is concerned I am a person living with AIDS.  Damn, that feels weird.

Cya...