Less...

 

The 2020's have not been good for me.  It started with Covid.  That caused a lot of hell & the stores have never been the same.  A lot of things I used to buy are never coming back & the prices have soared.

Bit by bit, things have been taken or lessened.  The quality of a lot of things has gone down.   Out internet company is new but sucks.  There's other medical providers & mechanics.  All the tethers we use to ground ourselves are being cut, few by us.

The last couple of years saw my diversions plummet.  Netflix killed DVD's & most of their streaming shows are pretty awful.  Then there were the 2 Hollywood strikes & nothing's recovered from that.  I'm not sure it will.   The comics I read are losing their appeal due to bad writing & art.  

The yard may have cats, but other than the occasional skunk & pissy mockingbird, that's about it.  We lost several flowering bushes & the flowers didn't do well this year.  There have been some lightning bugs but not like last year.  

Time is running out on the best show of the backyard.  I've seen no hummers, bunnies or dragons.  Some could still show, but it's less likely as Summer passes & it gets hotter.  

My health is not doing any better.  Everything takes more & I accomplish less.  Even fixing a small meal, leaves me feeling a wreck.  Things just keep pecking & demanding.

The 2020's have taken my diversions, distractions, my little joys.  They've been replaced with a crappy circus of conservative BS & religious rhetoric.  Great, another election year & olympics.   More stress & less joy.  I wish every conservative & aggressive religious type would fall over & be done.  Then I might have something to smile about.

Cya...

Little Joys & Excuses...

It's the season of Fall sports, holidays & pumpkin spice everything.  I don't really care for much of those things.  None of it is something I really want to deal with.  If you do, great, watch all the football, do all the holidaying & consume tons of pumpkin spice whatever.  Just kindly leave me out of it.  

Someone else enjoying something doesn't hurt me.  It probably isn't even my concern.   As long as it's not forced on me, I have no reason to gripe.  People who gripe about others having things they like, such flavored coffees, are saying a great deal about themselves.  These people should probably be avoided.  They're joy killers & rarely bring anything to the party except misery.

I saw an articles today & I've seen others like it.  I won't cite them because they irritate me.  They link lack of access of to PrEP to HIV rates.   This might be the case in other parts of the world, but these reports were from within the US.   

Here there's a little thing called a condom.  They prevent HIV as well as PrEP, don't require a medical professional & they're cheap.  But little what's his name didn't get PrEP & didn't want to use the icky condom, so he got HIV.  That wasn't a lack of something.  It was the presence of those people's unwillingness to use what was easily available to protect themselves.  That's called being bratty.

That's all for now.  Let people have their joys.  Use a damn condom.  Take care yourself & let others be. Take care.

Cya...

Bang, Lights, Smoke, Litter...

 

Well July is here & since the 4th is midweek, some people have started with the fireworks early.  There've some pops here & there over the last couple of weeks, but nothing big.  That changed last night.  The neighbors had people over & celebrated.  They had people over & had a small, yet loud, celebration.  

Fireworks are loud, but they bring people joy for a moment.  I'm not going to bring down their party.   I was that kid, running with fireworks & having a blast.  It was a small happiness I had as a kid.  I'm sure plenty of adults wanted to take it away from me back then.  I'm sure plenty of people want to stop it now.  Too many people delight in crapping on other people's moments of joy.  I wish the most tedious life on that kind.  

Try not to be a Karen or a Bruce & don't bring people down.  Everyone deserves their moments.  Hell, we need them just to survive.

Take care, Happy 4th.

Cya...

Marker Events...

 

Today was a 1st marker event day.  There were 2 of them.  The 1st happened as I opened the back door this morning.  I saw a little figure darting around the Rose of Sharon blooms.   The 1st Hummer of the year has arrived.  It looked decent sized, but not quite adult.  That's a very good way to start the morning.

The to bring it all down, I check Netflix to see if the DVD I sent off had registered.   It hadn't yet, it might not until tomorrow.  It was sent off in the later mail.  I noticed there was an extra movie in my queue.  When I looked, it was a dvd that had been on my Saved list.   Then I saw it, my Saved list was at 0.  

It hasn't been at zero in over 20 years.  My queue was at 50 & hasn't seen a number that low in about 2 decades.  This service that got me through so much, it's really going away.  I will miss the little red envelopes, the movies only available on dvd & the routine.  There's another thing gone, another tradition swept away & I'm told how surprised people are that I still used it.

I hate this.  When the dvd's are over, so is my time with Netflix.  They've taken a bit from my small pool of joy.  I can't forgive them for that.  I know it wasn't personal on their part.  But, it most certainly was on mine.  If this is to be the way of company that brought tiny moments of escape, then I wish for them nothing.  Nothing is what they deserve; not good, not bad, just nothing.  Maybe with that, it's all Netflix will be, nothing.

Thank you little hummer for the joy you brought me.  To Netflix, the thief that stole from my resources to make it through, kindly F' Off!  There always has to be a Bruce.

Cya...

Last Blossoms Fall...

The last little, white bell fell from the yucca flower.  Most the tiny buds have fallen from the crepe myrtle.  The remaining few have darkened.   The Fall pruning will happen soon.  That's the end of the season.  

This Summer was rough on me.  I barely noticed most the things that normally make me smile.  I'm not happy with that.   There's so little left in my life that I really enjoy, I get angry with myself when things slip by me.  

Enjoy the little things.  That's all some of us really ever have.

I hope the red birds get here soon.

Cya...

Funny Things...

This is an article from the blog [imstilljosh].  Josh blogs about his experiences with HIV.  Judging by his blog, he's way more into blogging than I am.   This piece was about the funny things about having HIV, at least for those who are +.  

It may not be side ripping laughable, but I appreciate it.  Any 1 with a chronic illness has to learn to find the fun wherever they can.  If we didn't we'd gone nuts.

Ill or not, try to find the joy & laughter in your life.  I'm not always the best at this.   Sometimes, I down right suck at it.  But still, there are things I enjoy.  My new neighbors love of noisy machines is not 1 of those things.  But, the outdoor cats, the weird little birds & the random bright flowers are.

Cya... 

The Letter J...

"J" is the letter for today & the word is Joy.   To experience pleasure or happiness or contentment.  That is what joy is but to a different level..  To me joy is more subtle than happiness, deeper than your typical pleasure & less mundane than contentment.

Joy is something in you that wells up  & can hardly be explained or expressed.  A lot of people associate being joyous with a religious experience.    I suppose it can be, but it's not limited to that.  I think joy is more about being spiritual than religious.  

I can do things that make me happy, but joy seems to be more elusive.  Joy, like happiness, may be fleeting, but it can leave an indelible mark on us & our lives.  Some people find their joy in their children, some in gardening, some in singing. 

Every spring in this area, for a few days there are these tiny, pale purple flowers, that for some reason make me smile.  These flowers aren't even an half inch across, but the carpet the lawn with a soft beauty for a few days & then they're gone.  Most people would probably call them a weed, but not me, I call them a very remarkable, jubilant announcement that spring is here.  I count myself very fortunate when I get to see those flowers.  It's like those impatient daffodils sticking their heads up through the snow.  Or the single redbird roosting on a limb in the vast gray winter landscape.  Lightning bugs in the summer, kittens rolling with a piece of paper or a hummingbird just flying by, these are things that bring joy into my life.  I'm getting all Sound of Music here with the favorite things I'm listing, but they are joyous to me.

Having joy in your life is a necessity.  If you have no joy, then you aren't really living.  Where do find your joy?  What makes you heart sing?  What lets you know for just a moment that everything is right with the world?  I wish you all joy & what it can bring to your life.

Cya