It's Gone...

 

2026 didn't start out bad for us, especially compared to 2025.  There were new things, ideas, routines, etc...  Things were clicking.  I was still dealing with the dark of the year stuff & SAD, but it was moving along.  I guess that was it; there were plans, momentum & maybe just a sliver of hope things might improve.  

I'm not sure why I let myself buy into this.  I guess I was just tired & distracted not to see the inevitable  repeat of things.  The new things starting breaking, the routines ended, plans & ideas seem to lose focus.  The momentum was gone & it was just sliding back into breakage, stress, anxiety & frustration.  

I did this to myself.  I let myself think things might change in a good way for once.  Yet again, I was wrong.  I don't need to see 60.  None of this is going to get better for me.  It might level out, but then it'll dive back down again.  People can keep their plans, ideas & maybes.  I just can't anymore.  

Cya..

Trying Morning...

 

This last while has been trying.  We're trying to get a lot of things handled.  We're trying to get info on  other things, so that they can be handled.  We're trying to juggle appointments with other appointments & issues.   It's just a lot of trying.

I've been trying to hold it together & not let SAD overwhelm me.  I've tried to tune out the damn wind. I've been trying to get sleep & not succeeding.  I've been trying not to get mired in the hopeless mess of it all.  I'm trying, but I'm not doing very well at any of it.

It's bright out this morning, but the temps dropped & the faucets had to drip all night.  The wind wailed most of the night & it's still going.  I'm so over trying.

I guess that's it for now.  

Cya...

Wind Noise...

 

It's been windy since last night & it's supposed to continue into the early morning hours Monday.  I've gotten to where I hate the noise.  It's an inconsistent sound.  The changes make it hard to tune out.  It woke me up a few times.

As a kid, I used to love the wind.  Now, it's a lot of noise that can do damage.  It's a problem I can't mitigate.  Some people say, it's a privilege to get older, BS.  I can't name much that's been better or will be better as I age.   It's just other people rationalizing.

Today is hazy & windy.  Storms are in the forecast & then the temps are supposed to frigid for a couple of days.  I didn't want any of that, but no one asked me.

That's it for take care.

Cya...

Warm, Windy & Ridden...

 

Today is sunny & warm.  It's also windy & with lots of pollen.  This will be the end of the sunny & warm for a bit.  Tomorrow is supposed to be colder & storm.  Then the forecast calls for 2 nights under freezing.  This weather switching & pollen may be normal for this time of year, but it's still rough.

There isn't much going on today,  I'll try to enjoy the sun while it's here.   Monday will start another busy week.  After that, it'll be more roller coaster weather.  That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

2nd Friday The 13th Of 2026...

 

This is the 2nd Jason Day of the year & they're back to back.  It's supposed to be sunny today.  I should be enjoying the sunlight, but I'm not.  It's supposed to get frigid this weekend & I'm too frazzled by things to really let the light relax me.   

I keep hoping things will get off the plate so I can unwind, but they don't.  Even when some do, more crap lines up.   I'm tired of trying to focus on the after this bit, instead of now.   It could be May or later before some of this is out of lives.  By then, other BS will probably present itself.

As an adult,  all I really wanted was for sometime in my life where I could feel some happiness & security.  I'm usually too anxious for that.  I don't think those things will ever happen for me.  I'm pretty sure the rest of my leave is only going to slide down into more of this crapfest.  It'd be nice to be wrong about that.

The sunlight & little blue flowers didn't bring me out of the funk this time around.  I probably won't see any hummers again this year.  Dragons are about all that's left besides lightning bugs.  I really am tired of looking over the horizon.  I'd like to be in the now, but the now sucks.  So much for living for today.

Cya...

Cooler Thursday...

 

After a warms spell, cooler temps have returned.  We may need to have faucets dripping this weekend.  I thought we were past this.  March is a weird weather month.  

Next week starts appointments again.  We could be a bit hectic for the last half of the month.  My roomie has a lot going on & benefit renewals should be sometime soon.  

There's going to be a lot to handle this Spring.  I'm not sure there's going to be much time to come down from it all.  I'm really tired of this.  So much is impacting our lives that we have very little control over.  

I wish there were more positive things to write about.  At least it's sunny this morning, even if it is cold.  I'm really over trying to look at the bright side of things.

Cya...

More & More...

 

It's been more of things I didn't want; storms, aches, allergies, low blood pressure, off sleep & BS.  I'm tired & achy.  Allergies, low blood pressure & dehydration have wrecked my head.    It was noisy this morning, another thing screwing with my sleep.  

It's been DST since Sunday & there's been precious little daylight during that time.   Even with all these bouts of rain & storms, we're still short on our rainfall average.   So far 2026 has been a little dry.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...