1st August Sunday 2026...

 

August is underway & there's less than a month before my year's up.  Unless, I'm wrong, I should be getting a renewal this year.  I'm dreading this.  This month is making me ill.  I go to sleep with things buzzing in my head & I may have a moment after waking before it all comes back.  Sometimes, it even invades my sleep & gives me stress dreams.  

The problem is these worries are real.  These lingering issues always seem ready to drop.  I hate waking up.  Maybe a few minutes of peace & then it all crashes back over me.  By the time I get out of bed, I'm already emotionally spent & fairly worn out.

Last night was the 1st night I got decent sleep in a while.  It won't help.  The hot nights will return & the anxiety never leaves.  I'm just tired.  I should've never made it this far.   Even if I get through August alright, then comes September, my worst month.  Then Fall begins.  This fight was lost before it began.

Take care.

Cya...

Hello August 2026....

 

I know it probably won't happen, but I really need a good month.  It's going to be hot.  Both my roomie & I have appointments, so it's going to be busy.   But, I've been dreading this month.  I've had so much apprehension about it.  I hope I'm wrong.

This is the last month of my birth year & it wasn't a good trip around the sun.  This is the last bit of my 50s & they've mostly sucked.  September will get here & turn the wheel.  Somehow it's never to a better page or something not out to bring me harm.  

People who think life is wonderful & worth living make  me wonder.  What is so different about them, that they got a life that let them feel that way about it & I got this mess.  Was it a roll of the dice, perspective, did I do something wrong...?  

So August please don't suck.  I've had enough trials.  I've used most of what I have just to get this far.  I'm tapped & exhausted.  If it can't be decent, just let it end.  I don't have any fight left.

Hello August, please be a good month.

Cya..

Goodbye July...

 

This is the last day of July.  The month started off alright.  It wasn't that Summery.  It was overcast, damp & fairly mild temps.  Then the tail end got here.  It stayed hazy, while the humidity & temps cranked up.  I haven't handled this part of the month.  I'm not sleeping well & it's leading me to feel off, sick & anxious.  

Tomorrow starts August.   I have expectations for that month & they're all bad.  I think this is going to be a bad month.  It feels like a lot is coming my way & I probably won't be able to handle it.  I think this is going to be a month of loss.   It's the last month of my birth year.  It's the last month I'll be in my 50s.  

I really needed a good Summer.  Just another thing on the list I never got.  I don't need to see September.  I don't need more trips around the circle.  I would gladly just step off the ride.  I'm tired of feeling like this.  I hate knowing my life peaked decades ago & it wasn't that great.  I broke the GenX rule.  I should've died young.  I wouldn't have had to see what a disaster I became.

Goodbye July, you failed at being a good Summer month.

Cya...

Ugh, Failed Rain...

 

It got hot yesterday, about a 100°.  Then the temps dropped & we got a decent little dump of rain.  It dropped the temp down to the low 80s.  Then the rain stopped & the humidity ramped up.  That was actually worse than when it was 20° hotter.  I'll be glad when this heat dome moves on.  It's been a hazy, humid hell. 

The AC might not be on as early today.  We'll see.  Take care.

Cya... 

Not Quite As, Still...

 

Still no luck for articles.  It's not supposed to get as hot today, but it's already warming up.  The AC will be on as early.  Maybe it'll go off earlier & start later tomorrow.  I'm over this swelter.  After a while, it starts trying to turn you into jerky.

That's all for now.  We've have a few errands today.  Take care.

Cya...

Hot & Loud...

 

It's hard to do anything, but feel lousy right now.  It's been hot, humid & hazy.  By the time the haze is gone, the heat has ramped up.  As it cools down, the humidity climbs.  Last night was hot & this morning was muggy & loud.  The electric company is trimming trees.  Tree work on the hottest days is a bit barbaric.  I feel sorry for those people doing all that in this heat.

I only saw articles I had covered before.  None were from a new perspective.   This is it for now.  Take care.

Cya... 

Trampled...

 

My nerves are colliding with the heat, iffy sleep & life in general.   It's leaving me on edge.  I feel rattled & off about everything.  Every little thing is poking at me & testing what little nerve I have left.  To make things worse, I'm feeling worn out.  I wake up, get around & I'm already spent.  I need a breather just to get ready to shower.  Shopping isn't going to be fun today.  

The next couple of days are supposed to be +100°.  We didn't need to hit the century mark this year, but we've been here for a bit.  Hopefully, they stay in July.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...