Cloudy Sunday...

 

It's a cloudy day & so far not much is happening.  Good.  I keep finding articles talking about how you should open & honest about yourself & your life.  I call BS on this.  If it's your doctor or someone your intimate with, then yes there is a certain need for openness.   However it can always bite you.

You're told to read the room & know your audience.   How do you do that when those are the people who you have always trusted & counted on before?   Many who have come out about things in their lives; orientation, HIV status, addiction history, etc... have had horrible shocks when their friends & loved ones cast them aside.  

Instead of compassion & support.  They all too frequently find outrage, hate & fury.  When the new version of you doesn't match their head cannon, some will reject the new & accuse you of everything they can & demand you leave.

Sometimes honesty is a dangerous thing.  We often don't know people as well as we think.  Unless it's absolutely necessary or you're in a place you can't really be harmed, keep your private info, private.    Too many people have had to find out they were only allowed at the party as long as they wore mask assigned to them. 

People keep talking about their "truth."   The reality is, the person you see as yourself only exists for you.  Every other person has their version of you, for better or worse.  Some can course correct if necessary others simply won't.  They'd rather delete the player than adjust to the new scenario.  Be careful being honest.

Take care.

Cya...

No, But Yes...

 

Slightly busy morning, we need to 1st of the month stuff underway.  I didn't notice any articles this morning, so this is going to be an opinion matter.  People say HIV is no longer a death sentence & shouldn't be criminalized or have a person required  to  reveal  their status.  

Let's be clear, I don't anyone should be charged simply for being HIV+.  Onto my issues with this matter.  As for HIV no longer being a death sentence.   How 1st world of you.  If you can get the resources;  medical treatment, meds, food, housing, etc...  HIV probably won't kill you.  There's a lot places where none of those things are givens.

Again, back to HIV not being a death sentence.   It most certainly was to the life the person was living before they knew they were HIV+.  They will never be the same.  They will never live that same life again.  It's gone, it was replaced with a life of being + &  taking meds, seeing doctors, facing stigma, etc...

Finally, as for not revealing your status.  If you have sex with someone & you didn't  reveal pertinent info  about yourself, like being HIV+, that was a non-consensual encounter.  By not revealing that knowledge, you robbed that person of being able to give informed consent.  You violated them, their  trust,  their life.  You may not have used force, but you raped them & potentially ruined their life.

HIV shouldn't be criminalized.  But it shouldn't be  legitimized & normalized like it's a common cold.  Any one who feels HIV isn't at least in part a death sentence, is mistaken.  Any one who opts not to inform their partners is a monster.

My opinion on the matter, take care.

Cya...

Better So Far...

 

It's bright this morning & so far nothing's been a problem.  Last night was chilly.  The forecast says those nights are over, but it's said that before.  We don't have much planned other than taking out trash & running some errands.

I've been seeing articles again about people having sex without revealing their HIV status to their partners.  Some states have moved to decriminalize this.  If you aren't mature enough to reveal the reality of your situation to your partner, you probably shouldn't be having sex with other people.

That's about it for now.   Take care.

Cya...

1st August Wednesday...

Not in the best place this morning.   It's a grey morning in August.   I think this Winter is going to suck for me.   It's the 2nd night without the neighbor's light & the neighborhood is pitch black without it.  Some local asshats were causing a lot of noise until late last night.  I wish seriously bad things on them.  Neither my roomie or myself have felt that good in a bit.  I think it's due to the weather changes, light levels & general ick everyone's dealing with since COVID.  

I read an article about a women from Georgia being charged for not revealing her HIV status to her lovers.  A lot of people will scream  she shouldn't have to reveal her status.  I disagree.  IMO, she committed a serious assault on these people.  However,  they should've insisted on condoms.  If you're infectious, you have a responsibility not to infect.  If you're not infected, you have a responsibility to yourself to remain that way.  Neither are difficult concepts.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

PS - The new Blogger layout is ugly & awkward.

Really & Busy...

OK, a couple of givens.  If you say or reveal something about yourself, you can never unsay it or take it back.  Whatever it was, is now known.  2nd, businesses of all types, especially those online, gather & sale the information of those people who traffic their sites.  Both are givens.  Anyone should understand this.

So, why is it people get so surprised & outraged when something they reveled about themselves online turns up somewhere else?    They should've known this would happen.  I post about my illness. People who read this blog close enough can figure a lot about my life.  I knew that going in.  I accepted that.  If I couldn't have, I shouldn't have started the blog in the 1st place. 

To all you people out there that told Grindr, or whatever other site, your HIV status, what did you expect?    Of course they used that data.  Of course they sold it.   Information is ore, data mining is nothing new.   HIV status is a rarer tidbit, so it was probably worth quite a bit.  You might be upset  Grindr sold personal info, but it was in their user's agreement.  That bunch fine print you were supposed to read before using the site.  This isn't on Grindr, it's on you.  That's why you're so pissed off.  Own it & move on with your life.

Have to get going.  I need a shower & we have bills to pay.  I need to get back soon, my meds are on their way.  I don't want to have to reschedule the delivery.

Cya...

Utter BS In California...

I'm hating on liberals, democrats & progressives in California.  This article is a continuation of the ongoing pursuit by the state to reduce the offense of knowingly exposing someone to HIV from a felony to a misdemeanor.   It's just waiting on the governor's decision.

Besides making me agree with conservatives & republicans, this is just such utter crap on every level.  There is no justification for having sex with someone without revealing your status.  End of question.  Just done.  

These people may not die if they contract HIV, but their lives will be forever altered by 1 selfish bastard who couldn't be bothered to reveal their status.   This state will more than likely see an uptick in HIV cases.   The health of the society should be considered with more weight than the feelings of an individual.

I might not kill you if you had knowingly infected me.  But, I'd certainly make sure you were maimed.   Maybe if you couldn't walk, you'd be less likely to infect others.   I'd do my very best to make your life not worth living.

Cya...

Utter Crap Proposal...

This newspaper article is a continuation of a post from a couple of days ago.  A new bill in California  would change a + person having without revealing their HIV status from a felony to a misdemeanor.   Not only would this include actual sexual intercourse, but also the donation of blood, plasma or semen.  

The proponents of this bill call the treatment of HIV to be antiquated & discriminatory.  They may be old, but I think the guidelines should stand.   I agree when they call it discriminatory.  These laws only concern HIV & should include any illness transmitted via bodily fluids. 

I'm so angry at these people.   They're willing to allow a person to be infected & only charge the knowing offender with a misdemeanor.  Also, it seems the only people fighting against this are Republicans.  Thanks a lot Democrats, you've just made me agree with Republicans because you've gone so bat-shit crazy liberal.  Just thanks ever so.

I hope this bill doesn't pass, but it probably will.  They say these laws are too hard on people living with HIV.  It makes them feel too stigmatized.  Really, I don't feel that way at all.  As a person living with HIV, it's my responsibility legally & ethically to be upfront about my status.  What's so hard about that?

Cya...

Take Some Responsibility...

Every so often I see an article or news cast about  someone being charged for having sex without revealing they're +.   OK, 1st off, I think the person should be charged for willingly endangering the life of another.  They did this for no other reason than they wanted to have sex.  

The non + is always presented as a victim.  I still hold they should've been told, but they aren't without culpability.  Unless forced, they could've demanded their partner use a condom.    Both parties hold some responsibility.  

Some say the omission of a person's HIV status is tantamount to having sex without consent.  I'm not going to split hairs on this issue.  When you have sex with a stranger or someone you barely know, what reason do you have to believe they're being up front about anything?   Let alone their HIV status?

Many of these victims met their their + partners on hook-up apps or dating sites.  Like the people those places are trustworthy.   Yes everyone on Match.com, Tinder & Grindr are being 100% honest about everything.  Half of the pics are fake.  Heard of catfishing?

I'm not trying to blame the victim here.  The + person should've revealed their status.  However, it's also your personal responsibility to protect yourself as much as possible.  Putting that responsibility on someone else, doesn't alleviate the fact you chose to have unsafe sex.

USE A CONDOM!!!

Cya...

Wanting Openess, But Not Really...

For the last couple of days, there've been articles about a man named Tom Knight who is HIV + & using Grindr.  OK, let's be honest,  Grinder is a hook-up app,    He was looking for sex or least a potential sex partner.  According to Tom, part of the conservation went something like this:

OK, as a + person, I get why he was open,  I don't get why he was upset  about the other man being equally open.   The guy simply said he couldn't deal with HIV.  His prerogative.  At least he didn't act like he could & then ditch Tom.

In the article & in Tom's posts, people go on to say how witty he was & support Tom. In some of the articles, he goes on to talk about how it's hurtful to be rejected.  He tells how his viral load is undetectable.  How is someone on Grindr supposed to know about your viral load?  Why should someone take your word for it? 

The comments on the articles weren't nearly as pro-Tom.  They were more apt to see this for what it was.  This was an interaction revolving around Grindr.  These men were looking to hook-up, not deal with each others' baggage.  IMO, Tom should be glad this guy was just as honest as he had been.

I get being rejected hurts, but that's life.  If this other man can't deal with the idea of a + partner via a chat message, how well do you think he would've done in real life?  Why not just deal with the fact, a lot of HIV- aren't going to be able to deal with someone + as a sex partner?  Why not date HIV+ people?

Tom wasn't witty.  Tom isn't some kind of Grinder hero.  Tom is an HIV + man who got his feelings hurt after being rejected.  Like a lot of us, he's trying to save face at the expense of someone else.  The other man's unwillingness isn't the problem here.  The problem was Tom's princess-tude that everything should go his way or else.

Cya....