Last Days...

 

This is the last day of August.  Weathermen consider it the last day of Summer.   2/3 of 2026 is behind us & the 'Brr months begin.  This is also mine last day being 59.

Here's hoping nothing screws up today or tomorrow.  A hold for the rest of September would be awesome.  I can't remember the last time that month didn't suck for me. 

We had a friend over last night.  It went well.  We have plans for most of the week.  Shopping, bills, errands, appointments, etc..   Tomorrow we'll try to do birthday stuff, a movie & something to eat.  Maybe we can pull that off with any problems.

That's all for now, take care.  Goodbye August, you were too damn hot & no fun.

Cya...

Final Sunday...

 

This is the last Sunday of August.  My year will  end on a Monday.  I guess it's better than starting there.   Labor Day will run late this year.   It's usually closer, if not on, my birthday.  We'll enter the 'Ber months, without any brr.  September's supposed to stay hot.  

We're having a friend over later.  Other than that, not much is going on here today.  That's fine, it's hot again & I really don't want to deal with the heat.

Take care.

Cya...

Ends & Begin...

 

As August ends, so does my year.  I'm really hoping these next few days & the beginning of the next month go well.  I'd like to close out this chapter with as little agita as possible & open the next bit on as much of a positive as I can muster.  

I'd love to tell you some grand things of being 50, but I can't.  It wasn't just about the age.  It was mostly about my situation.  My 50s weren't great, especially not 59.  Then again nothing in the current century has been that awesome for me.  I feel like I've made a phone call & been placed on hold.  Any second now, the calls going to drop & I won't be able to reconnect.  I'm tired of trying to be part of something I don't fit in & never wanted me anyway.  

So what will the 60s be like?  They'll be like this, but worse.  My life doesn't get better.  If it does, something else screws up or it's a fake out.  The people who tell you it's a privilege to get old are full of it.  Getting old is just that, getting older, nothing more & it sucks.  It should never be an end goal. 

Well there's the last Saturday of August 2026 & me being 59.  Take care.

Cya...

A Few Things...

 

The FDA has a approved a new 1 pill daily regimen from Gilead.   This piece also covers the matter.   The med is for suppressed patients who seek a simplified treatment.  

– Novel Daily Oral Tablet Combines Bictegravir, a Guideline-Recommended INSTI with a High Barrier to Resistance, with Lenacapavir, a First-in-Class Capsid Inhibitor with No Cross-Resistance to Other Existing Antiretrovirals –

– Bixlenvo Now the Smallest STR; First and Only STR for Most People on Complex HIV Treatment Regimens –

It'll run about $4,500 monthly.  It will provide another option for those on more complicated regimens.  They  the price is about average, but wow.

This is the last Friday of August 2026.  There's only 3 full days left in my 59th year.  Here's hoping it ends well & 60 doesn't start of with some level of suckage.

Finally, I saw a 3rd hummer this morning.  It was larger & slightly darker.  Unfortunately, the bushes in our yard look like it's late October, so it flit around & then promptly leave.  It was probably hungry & these shrubs had little to offer.  I haven't seen people posting any of the normal hummer pics like I used to.  I guess everybody is having this issue.  It's just too hot & dry.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Slight Cool Down...

 

It was supposed to rain yesterday, it didn't.  It did cool down some though.  We still hit the century mark, but it didn't last long.  We had the AC off early & didn't need as many fans.   This might last a few days before the heat returns.  

The news says there will be a lunar eclipse tonight.  I'll try to remember to see it.  We don't have anything planned today.  I think we both need that.  It's been too hot & too many people dying, goodbye Dolly & Tim.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

I Knew It, But Wow...

 

The 1st part of Summer was dark & rainy.  The beginning of July was pleasant & acting like June.  Then it hit.  The end of July brought the heat & humidity.  This sweltering crap hasn't left.  It's been the hottest end of Summer we've had in years.  

There have been a couple of years in the past 5 that we never hit the century mark.  We hit 100° a couple of times the other years, but not for long.  The night's weren't staying near 80°.  But, that's been the case for over a month here.   There's only been 1 day we didn't need the AC & a few we started it a little later.  Other than that, the AC was on, followed at night by a barrage of fans.  

This will be the most electricity we've used in over a decade during a single billing cycle.  It's not just the AC.  The frig & freezer are working harder.  I have a big fan, that I hadn't used overnight in years.  It sucks power & it's been on every night for over a month, just trying to keep me dry.  Normally I just use a normal box & small oscillating fan by my bed.  All that together isn't making the room cooler, it's barely keeping me dry.

None of this has been good for sleep or staying healthy.  Both of us have been sick & struggling with this crap.  The cat looks melted half the time.  Every plant outside is dying & the animals have mostly moved off.  We need rain & cooler temps.

This has been a miserable Summer & there's a lot of hot weather still in the forecast.  That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

The Last Week...

 

The weather was odd yesterday.  It piddle rained, maybe 0.25".  It never left the 80s, but stayed wet.  It wasn't hot, but not comfortable either.  At least it wasn't 100°+ & muggy.

This is the last week of August.  The end of the last full month of Summer.  The last week of me being 59 & the closing out of my 50s.  I've been here over half a century, a over 2 decades living with HIV & I fully believe there should be some way to either request an exchange or fully refuse this existence forced onto us.  

You could probably fit every decent thing that happened in my life into a single year & every really good thing into a month.   If you took every time I felt safe, secure, happy or was truly looking forward to something, I doubt it'd fill a week.  I'm tired of paying for generations of BS, stupidity & bad choices I had no choice in that made my life.  To all of those who came before me, that had a hand in this, to hell with all of you.

That's near the end of things rant for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Maybe Another...

 

There hasn't been any significant rain here since July.  Most of the grass is brown & crunchy.  The trees are so dry their leaves are already turning brown & falling.  There might not be any left come October.  The tiger lillies have survived into September before with blooms.  This year the flowers left in late June & now even the greenery is browned.  The flowers in the myrtles & rose of sharons are wilting.

This morning I saw a flit across the backyard.  It circled a flowering bush & then landed on the power line for a few seconds before it sped out of the area.  I think it was small, probably hungry hummer.  But it was gone so quick I'm not sure.

This year has been a bust.  I've seen a couple of dragons.  I've spotted maybe 2 hummers for a few seconds.   There haven't been many of the other birds either, even the normal yard birds have lessened.   Normally I see a lot of moths, butterflies & field bees; this year almost none.  It's so dry, I saw a horsefly come to the water bowl.

To hell with denialist, Summers are much worse than they were when I was a kid.  

Cya...

Rough Days...

 

Yesterday didn't go as well as I'd hoped.  It didn't get as hot, but I was still winded from the previous days.  Ragweed's kicking in.  It & the fans are killing my eyes & nose. 

The worst of yesterday was that my digestion was trashed.  I was bloated, gassy & felt like I could get sick for hours.  It didn't happen & the pressure eventually settled, but it was rough.  I wondered if I'd drank too much carbonation, so I drank more water.

I thought, this feels a lot like when I had to stop using sugar-free cough drops.  They'd started adding xylitol & it wrecked me.  I wasn't using cough drops, but I did get myself a treat from the store we hit less often.  They're old fashion, orange slices.  They'd redone the packaging.  When I checked, they'd changed more than the plastic, they're altered the ingredients.  It wasn't xylitol, but another sugar alcohol, sorbitol.  It didn't hit me as fast, but it was very notable.   I'm not 100% sure this was the culprit, but for now, it's getting cut out. Hopefully, that will help.  If not, back to step 1.

That's all for today, take care.

Cya...   

Depleted...

 

This Summer's wiped me out & it's still here.  I'm downing fluids.  I'm sweating so much salt, my hat & t-shirts have white streaks.  I've had a couple of good nights sleep, but it's going to take more to get me rested.  There are still some hot nights coming.  My sleep is iffy under the best conditions, let alone swelter.   I wish I could live some place where the coldest it got was 60 & the hottest maxed out at 95.  It'd also need to have good mowing services & bug control.  I won't ever live anywhere like that, but it'd be great.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

They Stopped Talking...

 

During the 80s - early 00s, the conversation on HIV was loud & very present.  In the medical arena, in the social scene, on media, etc... In the last decade or so, they've redefined HIV as manageable & the discussions dwindled.  Articles like this piece, point out how knowledge of HIV has dropped.  It peaked in GenX & dropped drastically by GenZ.   That brought a lack of comfort with being near someone HIV+.  It also strengthened the stigma machine.

Is HIV manageable?  Yes, but only with awareness, education, knowledge, testing, treatment & outreach.  Without those & a lot of funds, the virus will surge again & possibly become more dangerous than before.

It's the media & health officials' responsibility to keep this information active.  But, it's also on you to educate & protect yourself.  There are meds for HIV, but it is still here & can lead to death if not treated.

Educate yourself, take care.

Cya...

Hot Bad Day...

 

The only thing I accomplished yesterday was getting labs drawn.   I barely got through the rest of the daily stuff.  I felt awful most of the day & I'm still feeling pretty rough.   The heat did me in.  We had a burst of rain last night.  It didn't last long & just cranked up the humidity.  Not much will be going on today.  I need to try to recover from that.  I think it's to the point to where I just don't have a good time of the year anymore.  This sucks, I used to love Summer.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Walled Up Again...

 

Almost didn't find any articles & then I saw something.  It was piece about how a therapy of long dose hydrocortisone could help HIV+ women with cognitive issues.  It sounded interesting.  Too bad every version of this piece was behind a paywall.  

I understand sites have to be maintained & writers/researchers need paid.  Still, it's frustrating to see pieces like this locked away from general viewing.  This could be something someone saw & then asked their doctor about.  Most people won't get that option, because they'll never hear about it, let alone see it.

That's my bit on that.  Here comes another stupidly hot day.  I should be doing labs today, but so far there's no word on that.  It could be tomorrow.  Take care.

Cya...

What Articles...

 

Finding pieces to post about can be an issue.  For some time, there haven't been many coming out.  1st, it seemed due to normal process, then tRump's budget issues, then everything else under the sun.  Now, finding a relevant piece isn't likely on a regular basis.  Then there are the bad pieces, the paywalls & the abstracts.  

I think it's kind to call some of those abstracts.  A piece like that is supposed to be a concise, yet thorough, summation of the article & it's information.  Many abstracts now are article bio, blips of info about the piece & then a few sentences of summation often ending in ellipses.   Those aren't abstracts, they're not even a blurb.  They are so brief they're functionally useless.

Oh well, there's my articles rant.  It's hot, getting hotter.  Will be so for the duration & BTW ragweed is back, joy.  Take care.

Cya...

Just 2 Weeks...

 

There are just 2 weeks left in August & the same for my being 59.  My 50s will close out on a Tuesday.  I don't care so much about the numbers.  I care because there's nothing good coming.  I'm not really looking forward to anything.  

I guess it's a wait & see game on how badly these last 2 weeks will go.  It's staying hot, muggy & draining.  I have to get blood drawn Wednesday.  The 2nd day of being 60, I'll have a telemed appointment.  It'd be great if August closed out well & September didn't suck, but that's not my life.

I need to get a shower & see if my meds are in.  Take care.

Cya...

Half Down, Half To Go...

 

It's the halfway point of the hell called August.  June was dark & wet.   July finally got brighter, the last half got hot.  August has been sweltering with mostly hazy skies.  The clouds linger til midday.  By evening they're back, holding in the humidity.  I'm really hating clouds this Summer.  They're just making things worse & bringing no rain.  There's been none of the 2.5" that's this area's average for the month of August.

I'm done for now, but I'm sure the heat gripes will continue for a while.  Take care.

Cya...

Seriously, For Real...

 

I'm not sure how, but somehow this piece wound up not having a tragic ending.  The article's title got my attention, "HIV-Positive Woman Donated Breast Milk Over Social Media," on Medpagetoday.com.   

An HIV+ women in California donated her breast to parents in a social media group.  This piece is about how difficult it was for health officials to locate & test the milk & infants.  Fortunately, none of the babies tested +.

Why would anyone take untested bodily fluids from a stranger on the internet?  I don't understand.  Even worse, why would they give this fluids to their child?  This should be common knowledge, you don't take bodily fluids from other people without them being tested.  This isn't just about HIV, there are many health risks to consider.

Give this a read.  Take care.

Cya...

Hot Nights...

 

The last several nights have been hot & muggy.  The forecast doesn't show any signs of that lightening up any time soon.  These nights are really bad for sleeping.  I'll be glad when things cool down a bit.  I could use a good night's rest.

We have shopping & some errands, then try to get home before it gets too hot.  The house is hard to cool down any after that happens.

Take care.

Cya...

Recovery Day...

 

OK, even though everything with my roomie's appointment has seemingly gone well, it was still a rough day.  It started way too early, after barely any sleep, the hot day started.  From there, it just hotter,  longer & more tiring.  

We got back earlier than expected, but it was overwhelming.  The temps hit 100+ early & didn't drop til sundown, then the humidity climbed.  August, looks to seriously hot & dry.  We've still had no rain & there isn't any in the forecast.

That's it for now.  I'm still worn out.   Take care.

Cya...

Too Early Again...

 

We're heading out & the sun isn't even up yet.  I hate driving into the sunrise.  Anyway, this it for today.  Early appointments wreck schedules.  

Take care.

Cya...

Rushed Morning...

 

The rest of this week is going to be off.  We need to handle Wednesday stuff today due to an early appointment tomorrow.  My roomie has to be to her doctor's early.  It's going to be a long day & off week.  

Broken record plays on; it's hot, it's humid, didn't sleep well, feel rough, etc...  That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Hot Night, Bad Sleep...

 

It was still 80° when I went to bed last night.  It was already 88° when I got up.  The fans only managed to lessen the wet air, not dry it.  It was a muggy, uncomfortable sleep.

That looks to be what's up for the rest of the month.  So far there's been no rain & there isn't any in the forecast.  This isn't going to be fun.

The next few days are packed with appointments.  By Thursday, I'm going to be doing well just to out of bed.  Everything collided & now it's just getting through it.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Upcoming Busy...

 

The next 2 weeks are going to be busy & hot.  My roomie has appointments & I have to get blood drawn for my telemedicine meeting the beginning of September.  This wouldn't be so much, if it wasn't going to be hot, but it is.

That's about it for this morning.  My sleep the last couple of nights has been better, but still not great.  My waking has been more jolty than usual.  I'm pretty achy, stiff, fuzzy & coughing for quite a bit after I get moving.  Sometimes that lasts most of the day.

That's if for now, take care.

Cya...

Rough Friday...

 

The 1st week of August is in the bag.  Yesterday was a rough outing for us.  It was just a shopping & mail run, but still, it did us in for the day.  Neither of us handled it well.  The only good thing about the day was that it got somewhat cooler in the evening.  It didn't do much about the humidity, but at least the temps were down a bit.

Sleeping has been rough.  Between it being hot, muggy nights & my body aching, sleep's been difficult.  Waking has been worse.  I feel like jerky in the morning.  The heat of the room & the fan moving the air, dehydrates me.

The heat's already building back up.  No more cool air for a bit.  What rain we were supposed to get this week failed to show.  There's been no precipitation this month.  On a high note, the yard might actually die back for a bit.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Hot, Tiring Week...

 

This 1st week of August has been rough.  It's been hot, hazy & a bit hectic.  More than anything else, it's been exhausting.  I have a bad feeling this is how the month is going to play out.  So much for a mellow August.  2026 is really being a crapfest for me.

We'll go shopping in a bit & that should be for our day.  That's good, neither of us is in a great place.  Maybe the weekend can help that.

That's all, take care.

Cya...

Down Day...

 

It's a down day again.  My roomie was supposed to have someone coming over, but that got cancelled.  I'm still exhausted from the hospital run & I didn't sleep that well last night.   I'm sore, stiff & tired.   The fans are keeping me cooler, but my eyes, nose & throat are paying for it.  

There isn't much going this morning & I'm glad.  Things kept waking me up last night; noise, humidity, aches, need to roll, etc...  When I finally did manage to get to sleep, I overslept a bit.   I'll try to catch up.

Maybe tonight will go better.  Take care.

Cya...

More Hospital Stuff...

 

Again, things tilted.  My roomie needed some tests run for an upcoming appointment.  They were at the hospital in Ft Smith.   We ended  up in the ER after, due to some medical issues she's having.  We left before 2 PM & didn't get home until past 1 AM.  

I'm exhausted & not sure how well I'll be doing.  We didn't need this.  I didn't need this.  I'm past tired.  The house was hot when we got home & never cooled down.  We have to go get her scripts in a bit.  But for now, I need to hydrate & get a shower.  

If August doesn't do me in, I'm think September will.  Every year's a little worse, but 2026 is taking a much bigger bite.  I don't know how much longer I can do things like this.

Take care.

Cya...

Had Already...

 

Wasn't going to post again this morning.  This Summer has been hard for me.  We're just now having mostly bright days without so much haze.  Too bad the temps are cranked & the days are getting shorter.

There used to be things that kept me going during the season.  We'd have finches & other little song birds.  There was the occasional, "Oh, you're not a cat", groundhog.   But mostly there were lots of butterflies, big moths, dragonflies & hummingbirds.   

I don't see those much anymore.  I don't get to smile because I looked out & saw dragons darting or hummers buzzing about.   For years, I've barely seen hummers & then only on their way back south.  I've only seen a couple of dragons in the distance.  

This morning, I saw my 1st hummer of the year, probably the only hummer of the season.  He's heading south.  He's not full grown, but enough to flit about on his own.  Maybe things knew what a mess I was & let me have a little peep into what used to make me smile.  It's almost harder, knowing I probably won't see him again & may not see any at all next year.  Is it really worth still being here?

Take care.

Cya...

Early Post, Not Well...

 

I'm posting early because I'm upset.  I'm trying not to be, but I am.  For the last several years when I've been doing badly, there's always been something else out in front.  I'm not trying to blame anyone or say these things weren't important, but I still felt I needed to step back.  Time moved on & some things with me settled, others didn't.  But, unless it required me going to the hospital or having to retreat, I'm not sure how much my things were even noticed.

Recent years have been worse for this & there have been reasons.  The last bit of time has been hard on me, I've been really frazzled.  This month has me worried; Summer's ending, lights fading, September's coming, a renewal is probably in the mail.  

The last few days I needed not to be in my head.  But things worked out where I was mostly by myself.  My roomie's had some health issues & stress of her own.  I know all of this, but still I just needed not to be for a bit.   Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to just step out in front something big & let it take you away.  

I'm not doing well, but everything else is also happening.  I don't know if I can handle these next couple of months.  There's so much going on & there just doesn't seem to be any room for me.  Maybe there never really was.

I'm sorry if this was too depressing, but I'm out of ways to communicate, even if it is only to this blog.  It's the only thing I have.  I found out a game I play online to distract me is ending.  It's getting cancelled by Facebook.  I've played it for years.  Bit by bit, things that kept me sane & going are going away.  I wonder how long it will be before Blogger goes away & I lose this blog.

Take care.

Cya...

Bill Day & A Bit More...

 

Yesterday was an odd day.   My roomie wasn't feeling well.  It wasn't the coolest day, but it wasn't too hot.  The cool moment is about to evaporate.

Today is bill day.  It also means a trip to the bank & shopping.  There might be some other errands.

This piece is more on the weekly oral med being developed by Gilead & Merck.  If the price is decent it could lead away from daily pills.  It might be he 1st, but if it pans out, it won't be the last.  Weekly could replace daily, just like daily replaced hourly.  

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

1st August Sunday 2026...

 

August is underway & there's less than a month before my year's up.  Unless, I'm wrong, I should be getting a renewal this year.  I'm dreading this.  This month is making me ill.  I go to sleep with things buzzing in my head & I may have a moment after waking before it all comes back.  Sometimes, it even invades my sleep & gives me stress dreams.  

The problem is these worries are real.  These lingering issues always seem ready to drop.  I hate waking up.  Maybe a few minutes of peace & then it all crashes back over me.  By the time I get out of bed, I'm already emotionally spent & fairly worn out.

Last night was the 1st night I got decent sleep in a while.  It won't help.  The hot nights will return & the anxiety never leaves.  I'm just tired.  I should've never made it this far.   Even if I get through August alright, then comes September, my worst month.  Then Fall begins.  This fight was lost before it began.

Take care.

Cya...

Hello August 2026....

 

I know it probably won't happen, but I really need a good month.  It's going to be hot.  Both my roomie & I have appointments, so it's going to be busy.   But, I've been dreading this month.  I've had so much apprehension about it.  I hope I'm wrong.

This is the last month of my birth year & it wasn't a good trip around the sun.  This is the last bit of my 50s & they've mostly sucked.  September will get here & turn the wheel.  Somehow it's never to a better page or something not out to bring me harm.  

People who think life is wonderful & worth living make  me wonder.  What is so different about them, that they got a life that let them feel that way about it & I got this mess.  Was it a roll of the dice, perspective, did I do something wrong...?  

So August please don't suck.  I've had enough trials.  I've used most of what I have just to get this far.  I'm tapped & exhausted.  If it can't be decent, just let it end.  I don't have any fight left.

Hello August, please be a good month.

Cya..