I've had a couple of bad wake ups the last few days. Not nearly as bad they've been in the past. I didn't jolt straight up & stay on a cortisol ride. But, I did wake up jittery & shaken. The weather's changing finally, but I have a lot of pent up issues from SAD.
I can sort of understand agoraphobics in a basic sense. There are mornings when the idea of getting out of bed & opening my door is very hard. Even if I feel OK, there's always something past the threshold that's going to cause me grief & agitation. It's always when I'm least capable of dealing with anything that the crap happens.
There's been a lot going on; problems with everything, our health issues, bills, anxiety about things going on that could affect us, etc... We're handling what we can, but there's a lot that's beyond us. That doesn't mean these things still aren't affecting us.
Most of what's happening isn't gigantic, but some is bigger than us. I don't how to fix any of it. I doubt we have the means. If it all wouldn't come as such a dog pile of crap. I know there's nothing more I can do & that worries me.
I'm glad I've been able to help me roommate & the cats, but I haven't been able to help myself. The problem is no one around is capable either. I've tapped my resources & abilities. Now it feels like I'm just shaking apart. Whichever way it happens, this needs to end or at least massively lessen.
That's my sort of rant for now, take care.
Cya...
