November's Here...

 

November showed up with baggage.  It's started with a time change on a dreary Sunday morning.  I need to setup the new PC, but it's such a pill.  Getting all the systems to talk to each other again is never fun.  It'd help if it were brighter & less muggy.  

I have no real plans for the holiday season or am I that revved up about them.  Halloween was barely a blip on the radar this year.  I can count the number of house's I saw decorated on 1 hand.  I drove through a part of Fort Smith, that used to go full out for holiday decor; not a thing, not even a pumpkin. 

There probably won't be any cheap chocolate this year.  There wasn't last time around.  The stores are ordering less & most of it is just normal candy in different wrappers.  Maybe holidays are becoming a thing of the past.  I'll miss the decorations & lights.  They were some of the few things that made this hellish time of the year bearable. 

I'm 2 months into being 60 & it sucks.  Nothing has gone as well as it should.  More stuff keeps getting worse.  It'd be nice if this election did something positive, but it probably won't.  Just a 133 days until daylight saving time.  Just 4+ months of hating this.

Do better November.

Cya...

Happy Halloween & October Issues...

 

Halloween is here & it's dismal & dreary.   It's been so cloudy I haven't be able to see the night sky.  This overcast crap could last a couple of weeks.  I didn't need that.  This could've been the last decent day before the time change, but the weather fouled it up.  To all the standard time lovers, choke on it.  

I finally went to get a new PC.  The prices have shot up since February.  Between AI & the orange asshat it's getting hard to afford anything.  I got the system home & figured out my monitor won't work with it.   I had to run to Walmart.  There's 2 problems.  My monitor is now considered to be on the small end of things.  Small monitors are being made less.  Walmart's barely carrying anything in store, besides their on Onn brand.   It's the right size & it was priced well, hopefully it works.

I need to get started on it, but I'm not sure when that'll happen.  Yesterday wore me out & this overcast BS is making it hard for me to concentrate.  I'll get to it as I can.

Goodbye October.  You Weren't a horrid month, but things could've gone better.  

That's all for now. Take care.

Cya...

Less Than Before...

 

The holiday season is near.  It's Indigenous Peoples Day, aka Submuloc or Columbus day.  There will be no mail today.  Halloween is nearing & then the holiday season will be in full swing, except it won't.   It hasn't been for a few years & that isn't just me be weird about holidays.  They have diminished a lot.  I've seen no decorations, heard no mention of local events & the halloween stuff a the store has been relegated to a humble section, full of uninspired decorations, cheap costumes & repurposed candies. 

The other holidays fare no better.  Those same few aisles hold the other special day's wares as well.  The Christmas section is slightly larger, but only because there's bigger items to sell.  I think only heard 1 holiday song at the store last year.  There was no music, no decor, no bell-ringers, just nothing.

Our holiday plans are looking even more scant than the previous years.  I don't know what, if anything, we'll do for them.   There were so few lights twinkling last year, I wonder if there'll be any this year.

Last year, this time, so how I still had a little umph of hope left in me.  I thought things might get better.  I thought it was possible there might be a way to be somewhere better.  There were some possibilities.  I'm angry at myself for letting that be the case.  Now, once again I've had to accept that I let myself believe in a figment as substantial as a puff of smoke.  That's gone now, at best things might maintain as they are, but I doubt that.  They say, "Come what may."  I wish whatever was coming would just get here & turn off the house lights.  It should've been closing time a  long ways back.

Yay, look at me ushering in the holidays.  Take care.

Cya...

Labor Day....

 

The 1st Monday of September is running as late as possible.  This holiday plagued me as a kid.  It was always in the way of my birthday.  Most people would be off with their families or out for the last trip to the lake.  Not that my birthday was ever any fun.  My family barely remembered it.   It was too early in the school year to be acknowledged, even though it was always listed like everyone else's.  I stopped taking part in those things after mine always got overlooked.  

We don't have any plans for this day.  It's just a Monday when the mail won't run.  There really isn't a perk in this for us.  

For those celebrating or whatever, have a good holiday.  Take care.

Cya...

The 4th - Sights, Sounds & Smells...

 

The 4th is here.   That means a lot of noise, lights & odorous smoke.  Some fireworks are pretty & fun to watch.  But weeks of preamble sort of cheapen the main event.  It's like a concert with a barely OK main band preceded by dozens of unknown openers.

We don't have anything planned.  I can look out & see some of the show if I want.  Eventually the smoke will be an issue.  I hope those celebrating have a good holiday.

That's all for now, take care.  Happy 4th.

Cya...

1st Half...

 

The 1st half of 2026 is wrapping up.  This wasn't a great time for me.  I've had worse, but things definitely could've been better.  I guess next week is supposed to be the year's halftime show, with all the 4th stuff.  

I remember the bicentennial.  There was so much red, white & blue; on banners, streamers, even fire hydrants.  It seemed to be a lighter, more joyful time.  76 had a lot of issues, but compared to now, it probably felt like a dream to a lot of people.  50 years later & the crapfest is raging on.  

To every group that robbed the present of what it  could've been, I really hope you end in the most gruesome manner.  There could've been unity, joy & progress.  Instead there's turmoil, hate & greed.  May those who caused that turn have nothing but a horror show for the remainder of their lives.

This could've been a really cool 4th of July.  Instead we got this dumpster fire.  

Cya...

It's Easter

 

Ostara has passed & Easter is here.  It's sunny this morning.  It doesn't look like there'll be much of that this month.  There's a 10 day steak where it could rain or storm.   The rain is needed, but I need the light.  

I'm sleeping better & waking hasn't been jolty.  Still, I'm still tired & needing everything to line up so I can get more rest.  Maybe a bit more of this & I won't feel so spent.

Happy Easter, good hunting.

Cya...

Updates, Mention & Happy V-Day...

The car is back, but that was expensive.  Still, we need it functional.   We'll take the van in late, next week.  I'll need to get labs drawn next Wednesday or so.

I forgot to mention that yesterday was my strokeversary.  It's been 7 years since the event.  So far, things seem to be doing alright for that matter.

Happy Valentine's.  I hope it's everything you need it to be.  Take care.

Cya...

2026...

 

2026 is here.  There weren't any wrappers or tags, but it came anyway.  It came in with a fanfare of gunshots & fireworks.  There were a lot of crash-booms & colorful lights.   We had a friend over for part of the night, before she headed home to her family.

I was & still am apprehensive about this year.  I'm slightly amazed that so many found 2025 a successful year for themselves.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I didn't find it much more a constant challenge.  They listed off the things they accomplished & it was a lot.  I barely managed to stay on the board.   They have lists & plans & I haven't had any of that in years.  

I can deal with accomplishing so little in so long.  But, it could have at least been fun & a lot less troubling.  Other than helping some friends & cats, I haven't done anything in a long time.  It's good those around are striving, but I think I peaked quite a while back.

Whatever your hopes or plans are for this year, I hope they go well.

Cya...

Goodbye 2025...

 

Goodbye December & 2025, the door's opening for the next year.  I don't have much good to say about 2025.  My roomie fared far better than me.  Then again, the last 25 years haven't been my year.  I guess that doesn't happen anymore.  

I have no idea what 2026 has in store, I just hope it's better than this year.  This was a rough time for too many of us.   Here's too all those who won't be coming into the new year with us, be they 2 legged or not.

That's it for now, have a very Happy New Year.  May it kind to you & yours.

Cya...

Revolving Dread...

 

There are 3 full days left in 2025.  The entirety of the 2000s has been a crapfest for me.  It's ranged from unpleasant to WTF happened & what did anyone do to deserve that?  I can't give any year of the 2000s a rating above tolerable at best.  The flavors & intensities of misfortunes have changed, but they all were horrid in their own way.

2026 is about to roll in & I'm dreading it.  I'd really be fine with not seeing it at all.  I hope good things come for those around me.  But, I don't see anything in my life going any direction but down.  

Some flickers did happen.  A few houses on nearby blocks had some lights.  If I looked the right way I could see them for a brief time.  Last night, the neighbors left their drapes open & I actually saw their Christmas tree lit up.  It was a pleasant surprise.   Did it change overall holiday?  No, but it did make last night just a little easier to handle.

The holiday is over, I'm exhausted & let down.  Now there's the threat looming just over 72 hours away.  I'm not sure why, but there's no reason to expect anything good out of 2026 & the orange bastard.  It'd be nice to be wrong.  

Take care.

Cya...

Busy December Morning...

 

We have errands & shopping this morning.   Then we have to take trash out for a postponed pickup.  That'll happen next week as well.  After that, we're heading to a friends for a bit.  This will wrap up the holidays for us.

Yesterday went well.  It wasn't our normal, but, it could be a new part of our holiday to bring my roomie's stepmom along.  None of us many people left in the area.

This season has been a bit disappointing.  Beyond the stress brought by the asshat in orange, there just was so little umph put into the holiday.   The most decor & music I witnessed was at IHOP yesterday.   Even when I was very anti-holidays, I still enjoyed the lights.  There so few of them this year.

I hope your holidays are going well, take care & be kind to yourselves.

Cya...

The Holiday Has Arrived...

 

Christmas is here & we actually have plans.  We'll need to be out of here shortly.   There will more going-ons tomorrow.   Then the holiday can move along until next year.   So far, this round has felt like an obligation only my roomie & I got stuck with. 

I did manage to find an article.   It's a piece out of Florida concerning continuing late HIV diagnoses. Late diagnoses come with different issues & severities.  Give it a read.  This is why testing is so important.

That's all for now, Merry Christmas.

Cya...

Nothing For Eve...

 

For quite a while I hated on the holidays.  Then I grew indifferent to the idea.  My roomie & I had our own things we did & it was fine by me.   For years, I tried to avoid the holidays, now it seems like they're avoiding me.

I watch holiday specials with my roomie.  I probably wouldn't on my own, they're a little too nostalgic at times.  The specials, the songs, the season all seem like hollow promises.  Maybe they were a well meaning trick & eventually we all figure out it's a show.  But the suggestion that there would be good times, friends, family, food, presents, songs, lights, etc... never seems to hold up.

They say it's better to have experienced some things once & then lost them, than to never have had them at all.  I don't agree.   Even with the few good times with my family, the happy holiday events & other moments of seasonal joy, I think I'd rather not have known them.  Now, I have to deal with the reality of it all.  I was a little kid & it wasn't real.  I could've lived without that.

Even though I can enjoy holiday specials, I can see the damage they do & unkept promises they made.  There isn't always tomorrow to make your dreams come true.  You probably won't be rewarded for being good.  The twinkling lights will go out.

Sorry to be a downer, but this year's been weird & rough.  The only light's I'm seeing this year are ours & I just can't seem to get lost in them like I used to.  I've tried listening to the music & I just get annoyed.  This isn't holiday hate or even avoidance.  There just isn't anything there & that feels wrong on a lot of levels.  Even when I avoided holidays, they were still there.  Now, there's this weak, politicized, commercialized suggestion of what used to be.  I feel like I've been sent on a snipe hunt for Christmas.   But, you can't find what doesn't exist.

I'd like to think next year will be better, but things have been going downhill for years.  I doubt another year will make a difference.  This isn't bah humbug, it's just nothing.

For those celebrating, may it be grand time with lights, laughter & song.  

Make some memories.

Cya...

Weekly Pill...

 

Lots of links coming here.  This article & this prior piece, discuss a 2 drug combination medication from Merck & Gilead.  Their drugs, Islatravir & Lencapavir have been combined into a single, weekly dose, oral medication.  These studies show some of the progress & efficacy of the research.  With both meds already having governmental approval, this should be just to prove the viability of the approach.  This could be an option for HIV+ people in the near future.  Personally, I'd opt for the weekly pill over the weekly injection.  

This morning has been rough.  I woke to 70° & it felt hot.  Add to that, wind & allergies are an issue.  My body wasn't ready for this & soon it'll be back to seasonal temps.  

We're trying to get our holiday plans in order.  It'd be nice if the worked.  Things seldom go as planned for us.  But we try.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Next To Last Friday...

 

There's only 1 more Friday left in 2025.  There's less than a week until Christmas & not even 2 weeks left in the year.   I've said it a lot the last few years, none of this feels like the holidays.  The sparkle, wonder & anticipation of the season is just gone.  I doubt I'll live to see it again.  It might pop in small bits or places that put on a show like Silver Dollar City, but I think the twinkle has left the building.  

My roomie has a lot on her plate today.  So, shopping will need to be handled a bit quicker than usual.  She'll handle her family event this weekend & we'll do whatever we're going to next week.  We'll see what that turns out to be.

That's it for now.   Take care.

Cya.

Less & Less...

 

There's only 2 weeks until Christmas & not even 3 left in 2025.  Every year there's less of the holiday season.  The stores start pushing sales in October, but few are decked out or playing music.  The local Walmart  has no decorations up & I haven't heard a single holiday song.  I mostly haven't heard any music there.  There haven't been any bell ringers or even Angel Trees.

It's not just the stores, it's TV as well.  There aren't many holiday specials shown.  Most are on cable/pay channels.  There's are many specials that haven't aired in years.  I see pictures of local parades & calling them lacking would be an understatement.  My neighborhood has never been really lit up for the season, but there used to a few.  Now there's only 1 house & I can't see it because of a neighbor's giant, work trailer.

I'm not much for the holidays, but the lights, music & cheer made this season better.  It made this part of Winter tolerable.  I guess it's just a bah humbug world.

Cya...

Last November Friday...

 

This is the last Friday of November.  There are only 4 more remaining in 2025.  The holiday came & went.  I hope everyone got what they needed or wanted from the day.   

The countdown is really on.  There are 27 days until Christmas & 33 left in 2025.  In 36 days this blog & my HIV diagnosis will be another year older.

That's all for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Thanksgiving 2025...

 

It's the holiday.  Eat up & move on to the next festivity.  I have cats & my roomie in my life.   Most everything is near the bare minimum.  I do know things could be worse, but sometimes it'd be nice if they were better. Here wishing everyone a happy holiday.

There's stuff I could've posted about, but not today.  Some days you should just set back & let things go for a bit.  Maybe tomorrow, but not today.

Take care.

Cya...

It Begins Today...

 

Since everyone's holiday plans are so busy & scattered, there'll be a late lunch stand-in today.  After that, it's the holiday rush.  There'll be holiday stuff, appointments, errands, bills & car things to be handled.  There's so much & possibilities of screw ups, I probably won't be anywhere near calm for a while. 

That's a problem for people in chronically bad situations, even good things can be stressful.   Just it's presence is so out of routine, it comes with risks & stress.  Will this actually work or am I just getting myself psyched up?  What if this doesn't work or worse it screws up?  Until this stretch is behind us, I'm going to be somewhat off.   Even then, I probably won't trust it.

I've got to get around.  At least the fan got installed.  There's light in the living room.  Here's hoping it doesn't screw up.  That's it for now.  

Take care.

Cya...