Freezing...

 

Short post this morning.  It's freezing & I'm trying to type with gloves on.  I don't know how people do this all the time.  I've had to redo almost everything already in this post.   

It might get above freezing & the next several days are supposed to be just above that.   Hopefully, this is our coldest week, but we still have February to get through.  This isn't going to be fun for taking a shower & then going out to handle shopping & errands.

At least it's bright out this morning.   My hate affair with Winter continues.  I'm not sure why, but the little seasonal birds that normally hang out in the yard aren't here this year.  Every year there's less of the little animals about.  I haven't little birds raid the cat food in years.  So many thing aren't here anymore.  I'm being a bit selfish as well, they always made my day a bit brighter & easier to manage.

That's all for now.  Take care.

Cya...

It's The Little Things...

 

The saying talks about the little things in life.  It's said they matter most in life.  What it doesn't tell you is that's not necessarily a good thing.  When big crap happens, I might freak out for a bit.  Once that's out of my system, I can get to finding a fix or get around.   But the tiny little things are like splinters or pebbles in your shoe.  Any 1 of them may be annoying & easily handled.  But, they never come as singles, when it rains, it pours.  They dump a continuous stream of little nuisances into your life like walking across a floor covered in debris.  You can dodge the glass & nails, but what about the sharp bits of gravel, tacks & children's toys?  The glass & nails might have done more damage, but eventually you'll wonder if the tiny detritus wasn't just as bad or worse.  At least you can see the glass to pull it out of your foot.

This morning will be filled with little things.  What joy.  Adding to that, it's another dark, June morning.  Seriously Summer, WTF?!

Cya...

Just A Day...

 

I don't have elaborate wants.  I'd just like a day that went relatively smoothly.  Things should just work, little plans should just get handled without  drama,  no unwanted surprises or add ons.   Apparently those are huge requests at this point in my life.  

Today should be simple enough.  It's trash day & we have some minor errands.  Then a friend is coming over for a bit.  Then there might be some TV.   None of that is outrageous & it'd be nice if it just happened without incident.

Those are today's plans, we'll see how things play out.

Take care.

Cya...

A Quiet Morning...

I woke to a rarity.  It's a nice sunny morning & the weather is pleasant so far.    Most importantly, it's quiet.  No mowers, no barking dogs, no screaming children, etc...  I don't remember the last quiet morning here.  It's nice.  I hope it holds out a least until I'm completely around.    

Noise levels are relative, but I like a fairly quiet homelife.  I grew up with too much  noise.  I've been watching Youtube videos about Indian barbers doing massages.  They're interesting, but some of their shops are busy roads & the street noise is near deafening.  I couldn't handle that for long.

Here I sit, looking out my window at bees dancing over white clover flowers.  There's a light breeze. A small squirrel is scampering between trees.   It is a  pleasant morning.  I needed this.

Cya...

Murky Mornings & No Script...

We had more rain last night & it's another grey morning.  This should be it for a little bit.   I'll head out later to pick up my roomie..  Our assistance processing was handled over the phone this year.  Took a little bit, but it was easier than their website.  

March is wrapping up.  Soon, all the blankets will be washed & stowed.  The windows will open.  The awful sounds & smells of yard work will return.  Spring's here.

I know they won't be here long, but  I'm really enjoying the tulips outside my window.  This weather is really laying into me, but I keep trying to see all the flowers in the yard & weird little birds scuttling about.  

It's really is the little things in life.

Cya...

PS.  My script for testosterone was denied.  My levels were a little too high.  Maybe, they'll test again down the line.  Not sure, what I'm going to do about it at the moment.   It's a little too pricey for me straight out of pocket.  That's that for now.

Last Blossoms Fall...

The last little, white bell fell from the yucca flower.  Most the tiny buds have fallen from the crepe myrtle.  The remaining few have darkened.   The Fall pruning will happen soon.  That's the end of the season.  

This Summer was rough on me.  I barely noticed most the things that normally make me smile.  I'm not happy with that.   There's so little left in my life that I really enjoy, I get angry with myself when things slip by me.  

Enjoy the little things.  That's all some of us really ever have.

I hope the red birds get here soon.

Cya...

Small Wonders...

I haven't been in the best of places lately.  So, I'm going to do what I can to recognize the good things that do manage to come my way.  Even the 1's that should just be a given.  

Yesterday, my meds delivery arrived & miracle or miracles, somehow the order was correct & complete.  I know it's a little thing, but my order hasn't been complete in months.  This is the 1st time in half a year that didn't require me making multiple calls to my pharmacy & my doctor's office only to still have the order botched.  It happens so often the UPS driver laughs about it & can generally guess if my package is too light to be the full order.

I know it's a small thing, but its what I have.  I'm very happy, I didn't have to fight over this 1 particular pharmacy refill,  Yeah me!

Cya..

More Little Things...

Its been weird without a porch cat, really quiet.  I didn't realize how much noise they made.  Without Hex, the others haven't been around.  There's been no fussing or racing across the porch.   I've not been woke up by cat fights. 

I don't have to go check on the porch now.  I still do, but I don't have to.  Its just a habit.   

Today was nice.  I got to watch the neighbor's white cat try to climb the crepe myrtle.    A lot birds live in the top of this old bush.   It never really gets cut back, so its 15+ feet tall.   Still the bush is deceptive.  The start of the climb is easy for them, but that quickly changes.   So far, I've not seen any cat make it near the nests or the birds.   Its fun to watch them try, sort of like a rigged carnival game .

With fewer cats, the local squirrels have grown more comfortable with the yard.   They race about hiding their finds.  If they're lucky, the birds don't immediately go pluck up the hidden treasures.

Porch life has changed, mostly come to a halt.  Still, the yard has birds & the like.  Maybe soon the hummingbirds will show up & the dragonflies. I know, I can be easily distracted.  Its the little things.

Cya...

Another Wednesday, More Trash Out...

Its trash day again.  It could get up to 70 F here today.  Considering how much snow we had last week, its a little jarring.  Hopefully, there won't be a cool down trend as notable.  

The yard is covered in purple clover flowers & the tiny little blue flowers I like.  I don't know why, but I like them.  They're so tiny, but seem so defiant.  No snow is going to bring me down.

Spring isn't officially here until later in the month.  But, today's weather is saying otherwise.   We're headed for the season of mowing & fleas.  At least the heaters will be off for a while.  It'd be nice not to need the AC for quite while as well.

Wrap it up Winter, your time is nearly over.  Spring is almost here.  The flowers are blooming.  The birds are having chicks.    Other places may have got hit by a strong Winter, but we only had a 2 or 3 really cold, nasty snaps.  Even those weren't that bad.

Cya...

As Planned, No...

The adage, "Nothing ever goes as plans," holds true in my life.  My roomie & I are trying to lose weight & I  noted some time back weight loss was a weird process.  I wasn't losing the way I thought I would.  The process has been irregular, uneven & even lop-sided.  You're body loses the inches like ice cubes melt.  The thinner ice goes first.  The ice with the most friction or light then goes.  The last to go is the thickest, least affected part of the cube.  Finally, though, it does melt away.

The saga of weight loss makes you notice the little things.  The strange lines developing on your feet.  The fact you fingers look different.  Where the hell did those cheek bones come from?  Those type of things. Those little points of change are what you can focus on to keep going.

Little things are important.  I read a blog post today.  I was about a small collection of personal items & knick-knacks this woman had.  There were only a few items in the picture, a small bird, a key, a monocle & some rings.  Nothing was of much monetary value, but of huge sentimental value to her.  She expressed this in such a way, I'm sure every time she looks at them, they give her joy.  Not because of the thing, itself, but because of the meaning wrapped up in it.

Nothing may go as planned in losing weight, dealing with HIV or just life in general, but we still have these small things.  These little bits of joy that can come into our lives if we let them.  If we recognize them.  When February comes & my year of exercise has passed, maybe I'll have lost 30 - 40 pounds, so be it.  Maybe it won't be the 50+ I wanted.  Still, I have each & every little pound gone that I did lose.  I have the new lines in my feet, I can see it in my face, my clothes are looser & my blood pressure is lower.

Some people say the Devil's in the details, others say its God.  Regardless of whose where, the details, the little things, make up life.  It's the proverbial smelling the roses along the way.  This process I'm going through  with my roomie to get to a point where we're thinner & healthier, is just that a process.  It's series of little steps & changes that in the end, will add up to something more.  Each step along the way is just as important as the other.  Each one brings us something, some lost point, some new unseen or new lesson learned.

The plan may go awry, but that doesn't mean your goal or your journey will.

Cya...

Sunday...

Another week, another Sunday.  I hope today is quiet & uneventful.  It's a nice day so far.

• There's a nice breeze
• The neighborhood dogs aren't barking too badly
• The cats are being reasonably mellow for them
• No signs of inclement weather on the horizon
• Most of the bills are paid for the month
• Only minor household chores are on the list today
• There's decent TV on tonight

I could keep going, but the point is, that sometimes it's the little things that make or break a day.

Cya

Moments...

Lately the days have been rough due to the weather.  It can makes things very unpleasant.  It makes it hard to focus, easier to get irritated & most of all much less likely to get anything done.  It wouldn't be so bad if at least the nights were cool, but lately they've just cooled off enough to become humid hells.

We are forced to look at the moments.  The moments that we can make useful, endurable or even entertaining.  These moments may be brief & fleeting, but they can add up.  Hopefully the sum of this tidbits of time can outweigh the the negative spans throughout the day.

The moments for us lately have centered on the times we can actually be somewhat productive & not just languishing away in front of the air conditioner.  They have been when we have the energy to see the humor in the things going on around us.  They have been the small stretches where we can actually ignore the heat & go on with our lives.

Moments can add to hours & hours into days....

What are the moments that make it worth for you?

Cya

Neither Lamb Nor Lion

There's a lot of folklore about the month of March.  How it enters being the opposite of how it will end is just one.  March 1 is a day of celebrations.  Whether you call Beer Day, The First of the Year, Independence day or numerous other observations held on the day it is a time of revelry & remembrance.

March was a time of war & beginnings of new things.  It is Primavera.   I know technically Winter still holds the reins for a little while longer, but the daffodils our blooming, the clover is growing & the birds are feathering their nests.

It was a bit cold last night, but today I had the doors open & aired out the house for a while before the chill returned.  It was a clear day & after days on days of drear, the light was certainly appreciated.  I'm going on about things, but not much happened today other than pleasant weather.  For that, I am grateful.

Spring is here.  The lawn people have been called & the exterminators are soon to be contacted to nip the fleas in the bud before they can get a foothold.  With the warmth & flowers comes bugs of all types.  From the bugs & flowers comes birds.  From jays to finches, mockingbirds to robins & hummingbirds to crows they will be in the yard soon enough.  That will get the cats attention like you wouldn't believe. The cats will chase the birds, butterflies & frogs.  The yard is coming back to life.

Other than taking my meds, I really didn't think about being + today, that makes this a rare day.  I know they probably won't find a cure for HIV in my lifetime, but I'd really love it if we could get to a point when I could take my meds like once a week.  If that could happen, then maybe on most of those non-med days I could just let myself forget about being + for a while.  That would be nice.

Little Thing, Again

This is the third time I've talked about this, but here we go again...  I feel so Gleeified McCartney...




Valentine's Day is Monday & so many people will looking forward to it either in great hopes or utter desperation.  We let this holiday get to us in ways not even Christmas does.  This is a holiday of self assessment & downright judgement. Am I worthy?  What did I do right or wrong?  Will the little red headed girl be my valentine?

I've never been all that into VD.  Even as a gift giver I find this celebration a bit trite. Three things come to mind when I think of this holiday; St. Valentine's Day Massacre, Hallmark & sobbing people.  Only one of those things has any one coming out on top.  Cards, candy & flowers are the game, if you're in those games you're going to make a mint.  Otherwise February 14th is not such a great day.

If you must give a gift, you can go with the typical & for some that is all they will want or understand.  But just as any other gift giving it matters most what is personal & will make memories.  Now candy & cards are fine, but why not look at this as a time to make a new tradition, keep an old tradition going or just have a genuine moment between you & your valentine?

Try one of these...

Get pictures made
Actually cook a romantic meal
Go to a concert
Try something new for both of you
Zoos are great during the winter, the animals are all fluffy
Take a weekend trip to anywhere

Just keep in mind, it's about the memories not the roses, the chocolate or the cards.  So, keep singing your silly love songs & running to the mail box in search of that desperately awaited valentine's day card.

For those of you those of you out there not into this holiday or for some reason feeling left out, look to your other friends in the same situation.  Try starting your own solo Valentine's Day tradition with them.  Eat all the chocolate yourself, treat yourself to a great dinner, or buy yourself something special, but meaningful.

Little things may just be what you need to make it through a day like VD.  String out a lot of little things through out the day, make it something that only you could do or give.  The devil may be in the details, but the little things are where you know someone actually thought about you & cares.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day...

He's back...

Outside our window is a gathering of bare tree limbs, standing stark against the winter sky.  All is muted, miserable & grey except for one small blip of red.  My roommate & I call him the Schindler's List Bird.  He's a quite a little blaze of color during this time of the year.  Through the year we have many birds that visit; tit-mice, finch, jays, hummingbirds & those horrible mockingbirds, but none are as prominent in the sky as the little cardinal.

Some legends say he used to be a little brown bird that got his color for helping wolf.  Others believe him a sign of renewal or piece.  When I see his scarlet body shoot across the grey sky diving between leaf-bare branches everything feels a little better, a little less dreary.  If the drab sky is some sort of grim canvas, then the redbird is a vigorous exclamation of , " I am here!"

People often look to God(s), the heavens or countless other harbingers for a sign.  Signs are around us all the time, if you just open your eyes.  Mr. Red here is a sign, a portent that things will be better, that spring is near & for now we have his beauty with which to be dazzled.

Get out there & watch him as his as they race through the winter skies.  Be joyful, grateful & maybe think about tossing out some bird feed (Consider it the cover charge for a great show).  Let the little red guys move your heart & who knows what will come out of it.  Maybe something like this...

or this...

Little Things, Take Two...

I started today with a cup of tea & petting a cat.  With no signs of unwanted cat offerings, I smiled.  It is the little things that start the morning off right.  

It's funny that something that some people see as fussy as a cup of tea, or simple as the warmth of a cat's fur or niceness of their not leaving any unwanted deposits (from either end) can make your day start off smother.  Three little things helped my day start off well, so the rest of the day see's me in a better mood.

What are you're little things?  What can point your day one way or another?  Is there anything you can do to influence which way the wind blows on the matter?  That first bit of waking time is important.  It sets the stage.  If you go out into the world in a better personal place, then you'll probably do better that day.  I'm not really into Norman Vincent Peale's thing on the Power of Positive Thinking.  But, not carrying the weight of a pissy morning with you can't hurt how you day goes.

Do as Schultz tells you & celebrate the little things.  The problem here for many people is that it means paying enough attention to figure out what the little things are in your life making it better or worse.  What makes you smile? What makes you cringe?  Figure it out.  Celebrate what causes you to smirk or lightly grin even more than what makes burst out into laughter.  Remember that the things that frustrate you or annoy you should be given as much caution as those things that outright hurt you.

This is a war of attrition, it will not be outright won by any one means or another.  It is a day in, day out maneuver. The little things in your life need recognition & tending like a plant or child or they may wilt away.  The negative things demand vigilant weeding or they may take over that beautifully manicured thing you call your life. Just remember that the biggest tree came from a tiny seed.  

It's The Little Things

In anyone's life it's more the minutia than the gigantic that gets to us.  It's also the things that let our lives go by normally.  It's not the fact the mockingbirds are chirping loud this morning, it's the fact that those hell-birds freaking bleep their evil hearts out every morning.  The humungousaurs that happen in to our lives cause so much shock that by the time the damage and chaos subside, we've pretty much come to terms with the event while we were distracted.  But the little things have no buffer zone on them; like toilet seats left up, tooth paste containers squeezed incorrectly, cabinets that hit you in the shoulder or any other zillions little annoyances in our day to day lives.

These are our lives, the little things, the proverbial grains of sand through the hourglass.  Doesn't mean we're going to like them.  In physics there are four basic forces or interactions: electromagnetic, gravitation, strong & wait for it, weak (ie. little). But not all little things are evil irritations, think of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.

In fact, it's the little things that make or lives bearable; the smile from a friend, a door being held open at the store or just a please & thank you.  The little things are hard to appreciate or predict until they aren't there.  These little things add up quick, whether they be good or bad.  Too many jerks on the commute home after a long days work or the fact the cashier at your favorite coffee shop remembered your name, either will alter the way you perceive the day, even if they don't change the outcome at all.

Like I said, the little things can be unpredictable.  Buy your cat a toy and they'll want the box it came in.  Plan out this amazing night with your best girl/beau and it's not the dinner or the show, but the fact that they gave you that certain look that just let you know they were the one.  Parent's plan out these overwhelming Christmases with great dinners, decorations & gifts. In the long run it's the time they shared, the activities or the people their kids remember, not the uber Barbie super duper play house, the newest video game or whatever else is on the must have list that year.

Today, if I'm lucky one of  my little things will be to watch America's Test Kitchen with my friend.  I'll try not to yell so much at the cats laying my way or the frig door that keeps closing when i need it open.  Yeah, good luck with that one.  But I will try to remember that it's the little things that make life worth living.