A Year Since...

This is the 1st picture we took of Machen.  The pic below is the last.   He was born on 10/11/23 & came to us 1/21/23.  He lived a brief, weird life.  He wasn't an easy kitten, but he was part of ours.  On 6/25/25 he took his final trip.  This was my post about that.  

 

It's seems longer than a year.  His presence was overwhelming.   It took months to get back to a pre-Machen normal.  Maybe that's a good thing.

Little cat that never quite learned his name, you were an experience & are missed.  May your next life be a joy with people who can give your more than we could.  

Remembering you,

Cya...

PS - Please be kind to strays & ferals.  They didn't ask for that life.  People did that & only people can help reduce the numbers of in-need animals.  Whether a stray is 4 legged or 2, if you can't be kind at least don't do them any harm.

Pointing...

 

HIV has been around for decades & outreach for the virus is nearly as old.  Professionals of numerous backgrounds in health & social issues have made astounding efforts to educate the public about HIV.  There has been attempts in nearly every conceivable area to reach people about HIV/AIDS.  This is regarding education, awareness, testing, treatment, support, etc...

Yet quite often, I see pieces blaming the people who've made these amazing attempts accused of not trying hard enough.  There was an article this morning detailing how although overall HIV numbers were down, those among Hispanic males had increased significantly.  This wasn't just a statement.  It was all but an accusal of deliberate, racially based exclusion.  At the best, it was alluding that this group was being overlooked to a focus on others.  

If after all these decades, any group can't figure out about HIV, it isn't a "can't", it's a "won't".  The men in this group had the same means to get the information as everyone else.  They had the ability to find a place to be educated, tested, treated...  Stop treating HIV professionals as bigoted, racist, sexist villains.  They can't make people listen or act.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Machen, Who's Machen...

 

Machen came into our lives on November 21, 2023.  He'd been left outside our home & was soon part of our life.  I've posted about him some here.  He wasn't the smartest cat.  I don't think he ever learned his name.  He was easily our most obstinate cat.   He had a lot of qualities I was hoping he'd grow out of.  That won't get to happen.  

I feel like I should've noticed more, but I didn't.  Several months before, he stopped playing as much.  I put it up to him leaving kittenhood.  Then got weird about where his food was.  He wasn't as social.  Lately he'd developed a lot bathroom issues & just seemed off.   We called the vet & made an appointment.

The vet thinks he was most likely inbred & suffering from neurological issues that would only have gotten worse.  She asked about seizures & said if he hadn't them, it was just a matter of time.  She noted his eyesight was going.   He'd had a lot of small illnesses in his short life & a serious incident that we took him to the vet for last September.   Considering all this, the vet thought it best for Machen to be put down.   When she tried to administer the final meds she couldn't find the kidney on the left side.  He may have missing a kidney & that would've been more issues sooner than later.

When it happened, Machen exhaled a final breath & was gone.  I know this was for the best, but I hate this.  He wasn't even 2 yet.  He would've been 2 on October 11, 2025.   This was the best option, but it still sucks.

Machen you will be missed.  You were loved.  May your next life be joyous & secure.  I'm so sorry if we could've done more & didn't know to.  Best journeys my grey & white cat named Machen.  May you get a name you can learn.

The 1st pic is from a day or so after he got here.  Here are his final photos.  He was only in our 583 days, just a little over 19 months.   He made quite the impact.  I was the 1st person in our home to hold him on 11/21/23 & I was the last person to hold him on 06/25/25.  I'm glad I was there for you as much as I could be.

Leaving the vet's office with an empty carrier is the worst thing about having a pet.

PS - Please be kind to strays & ferals.  They didn't ask for that life.  People did that & only people can help reduce the numbers of in-need animals.  Whether a stray is 4 legged or 2, if you can't be kind at least don't do them any harm.

Cloudy Sunday...

 

It's a cloudy day & so far not much is happening.  Good.  I keep finding articles talking about how you should open & honest about yourself & your life.  I call BS on this.  If it's your doctor or someone your intimate with, then yes there is a certain need for openness.   However it can always bite you.

You're told to read the room & know your audience.   How do you do that when those are the people who you have always trusted & counted on before?   Many who have come out about things in their lives; orientation, HIV status, addiction history, etc... have had horrible shocks when their friends & loved ones cast them aside.  

Instead of compassion & support.  They all too frequently find outrage, hate & fury.  When the new version of you doesn't match their head cannon, some will reject the new & accuse you of everything they can & demand you leave.

Sometimes honesty is a dangerous thing.  We often don't know people as well as we think.  Unless it's absolutely necessary or you're in a place you can't really be harmed, keep your private info, private.    Too many people have had to find out they were only allowed at the party as long as they wore mask assigned to them. 

People keep talking about their "truth."   The reality is, the person you see as yourself only exists for you.  Every other person has their version of you, for better or worse.  Some can course correct if necessary others simply won't.  They'd rather delete the player than adjust to the new scenario.  Be careful being honest.

Take care.

Cya...

Grindr...

 

According to this piece & others, Grindr is being sued in the UK for selling personal user data.  Not to blame the victim, but why would any user think a for-profit site isn't going to take advantage of every opportunity to cash in?

This dating app asks for a lot of personal info, the input entered is up to the user.   However, once there, anyone looking at the profile can see it.  The point being, is even if Grindr hadn't sold the data, it could've been gathered in other means.

Again, not siding with the corp, but users entered basic demographics; age, description, pics, ethnicity, etc...  But some entered pertinent medical; HIV status, meds, last test results, etc...  Why would anyone list some of that info on a dating app?  OK, HIV status I get.  It cold avoid some later issues & rejections.  But the rest was unnecessary.

If Grindr did this, they should be reprimanded.  However, why would you disclose this level of personal information if you weren't comfortable with it being public?   I've posted a lot about my medical situation on this blog.  I'm fully aware anyone that reads will know quite a bit about me.  But I choose to post that info.  These people opted to enter these things about themselves.  They weren't forced.  If the company did this, Grindr is in the wrong.   However, the users had a responsibility to protect themselves as well.  If you're on a dating app, the training wheels are off.

Cya...

Last Saturday of February...

 

The month is closing down.  Yesterday was the final Friday.  This  hasn't been an awful month, but it hasn't been great either.  There was a lot of weird, stressful crap that popped up.  Most of it had nothing to do with us directly, still it's affecting our lives.   

That's the problem with philosophies that push utter self reliance & personal responsibility.  They're complete BS.  You should as self reliant & responsible as possible, it's your life.  However, many of the trials people face were there before them or due to outside forces that were never within their ability to control, evade or influence. 

If a person with rain gear & an umbrella still gets wet in the rain, that's life.  They were prepared, proactive & did their best, still they got wet.  Even the best plans fail.  What happens when something was so unexpected there was no plan?   The best you can do is roll with it & that isn't a plan.  So much for utter prep.  You do your best & move on.

February wasn't the best, we got wet even though we didn't go out in the rain.  Most the issues of the month were outside our household.  Still, they happened.  We've done what we could & we're trying to move on.  Hopefully, these things will sort themselves out & not cause us more grief or agitation.

February gets a 5/10.  That's better than most of 2023.

Take care.

Cya...

Responsibility...

 

I have an unpopular belief about HIV transmission.   Unless you contracted HIV during acts against your will or knowledge, you bear culpability for your situation.  There are articles about HIV+ people who infected partners.  If these partners were adult & willing, then it's on them as well.   

This morning I saw a piece about how a + man infected a swingers group.  Come on, really?  Swinging in these times?  Were these people were engaging in sex parties without protection, PReP, on site testing or verification of a recent negative HIV test?

1st, it was wrong morally, ethically & likely legally for this man not to disclose his status.  If you aren't adult enough to be up front about your HIV status & do what you can do prevent transmission, you aren't mature enough for sexual activity with others.  Simply put, you're not fit for company.

It was also the responsibility of the other attendants at this gathering to insure their own safety.  It doesn't seem like they did.   If you go into a situation playing a risky game, don't be surprised if you lose.  Was the + man wrong?  Yes.  Were the others also wrong?  Yes.  It's been decades, we know the HIV game.  If you choose to bend the rules, that's on you.

That's all for now, stay warm & take care.

Cya...

Insensitive, Maybe...

 

Plans for fighting HIV faltered during the pandemic.  A lot of things did.  Programs are doing their best to get back on top of matters.  But there are some  groups scattershooting blame for failure of HIV treatment approach strategies for certain communities.

Very often, articles state those treating HIV in ethnic or cultural communities are failing.  Often it doesn't come off like these groups tried  & failed, but that the writers are accusing these groups of purposefully  under performing for the non mainstream. 

They call foul for the way HIV strategies have been applied to Black, Hispanic or other groups.  They call for blame when failing to compensate for all the IV  drug users.  

Yes, these strategies have to be well developed, delivered & constantly modified.  Sometimes they won't succeed as well as intended.  But, it doesn't matter if the community is Mexican, Black or Purple Spotted Woozles, at some point these groups have to own up to their part of the issues & not just blame faceless programs.

Not taking responsibility for your well being is easy.  Blaming others is very easy.  Being accountable for you part in the situation can be a bitch.  But accountability & effort are necessary from all sides if  the fight against HIV is every going to get ahead.

Maybe this will be come off as being insensitive.  I'm fine with that.  Just call me Mr. Insensitive, but at least I told you the truth on this point.  

Cya...

Vax...

 

Means of handling COVID have been around for long time now.  Vaccines have been available for months.   The move to vaccinate started strong then fizzled.  Some people can't be vaccinated yet or at all due to medical issues.  Actual reasons like they've had serious reactions to vaccines in the past, not because  of some ideology or fairy tale.  Parents of children under 12 are having to wait for trials to finish.  It could be Fall or Midwinter before those children can be vaccinated.

Until then, all those people who CAN'T be vaccinated are depending on others to do their part.  Get vaccinated, wear masks & be safe.  If you can't do that, then stay away from people.  Let's be clear.  If you refuse to be vaccinated or follow protocols & you spread the illness, it's your fault.  If some gets infected from it, you did that.  If someone dies from that infection, you killed them.  It's that simple.  Stop whining & be responsible. 

Take care.

Cya...

Responsibility For Self...

Often, I find articles about how the medical community has failed some group.   It doesn't matter if it's people of color, women, trans, etc...  Somehow medical professionals are the only entities being held responsible in the fight against HIV.

Yes, doctors, clinicians & hospitals could do more to promote HIV treatment & prevention.  But, so could other social institutions.  For a long time, I've believed a person is ultimately responsible for their own health & well-being.  Sometimes circumstances might prevent that.  But if they can be, they should be the one's promoting their own welfare. 

After decades of HIV education & prevention, when are adults  held reasonably responsible for their own health?  Why isn't it  their task to seek out an HIV test?   We expect them to go get a flu shot, why not this?  An HIV test is a medical procedure, not some mysterious, occult practice. 

Medical professionals should ask everyone their status & when they were last tested.    They should assume every individual is at risk & proceed accordingly.  However, every capable adult should seek out these things on their own.  Their health is ultimately their responsibility.  

Cya...

Again...

There were a lot of articles talking about a man being arrested for knowingly infecting his partners with HIV.  I'm not going to post these articles, Google them if you want.  However, it reads the same as every other piece like this.  Person knows they're HIV+.  They have sex without informing people.  The partners are put at risk.   The points don't vary much.  

IMO, anyone knowingly exposing others to HIV or other similarly dangerous illnesses should be prosecuted.  This person committed assault.  They also violated their partner by denying them the chance to give fully informed consent. These people should be jailed if they did this knowingly, with disregard of their partner's health & well being. 

That said, where is the other person's responsibility?  We've known of HIV for 30+ years.   We know condoms greatly lower the chance of it spreading.  There's also PrEP.  Why, if you're old enough to engage in sex, shouldn't you be considered enough of an adult to protect yourself?   

This isn't victim blaming.  This is asking when are we going to accept anyone could be HIV+?  Why don't we just assume every potential sex partner has an STI?  We have to be responsible for our behavior & the risks we take.  This man committed a crime.  His partners were victims.  This wasn't a forcible rape.  Unless he tampered with a condom, none was used during sex.   His actions were criminal, theirs were risky.  

Cya...

Another Dental Clinic...

Just read an article about another dental center possibly exposing 60+ patients to HIV & Hepatitis.   This was due to human error.  Instruments had been cleaned but sterilized before being placed back into rotation.  

What makes this Vermont dentist office different, is they noticed immediately & began notifying people the next day of the possible risks & how/where to get tested.   This clinic accepted the responsibility & promptly began looking into means to prevent another such incident.

A state epidemiologist  stated these patients were at low risk for contracting these viruses in this instance.   For once a dental office quickly took notice of the issue & set about trying to do what they could to correct it.  The mistake should've happened, but at least no one tried to bury it.  This is an excellent example of owning your mistakes.  

Cya...

Stupid...

This article is in response to a judge's statement on a case involving an HIV + man.  The man, Ricky Webster, engaged in sexual activity with some girls and didn't tell them of his HIV status.  I'm not removing their responsibility in this matter.  They should've demanded condoms.  However, he was wrong for not telling them he was +.  The judge stated.

This ranks as the most cowardly of human acts... what Ricky Webster did, was to steal the lives of those young girls. 

The writer, Mayo Schreiber, Jr. (an attorney dealing with HIV policy) pitched a little fit.  He said the girls lives hadn't been stolen.  They hadn't been assaulted.   He continued on to tell of the way this judge's statements might impact others living with HIV.   I wonder if this lawyer's crying foul was genuine or just to stir up publicity.

As a person living with HIV, the type of people this attorney is expressing concern for, I totally agree with the judge.  Mr.  Webster did not have the right not to reveal he was + to his sexual partners.  If those girls are +, then he did steal the lives they had.  The lawyer has a very narrow interpretation of what is an assault. 

The person who did the harm to people living with HIV wasn't the judge.  It was Mr. Webster & his actions.  To a lesser extent, it was this attorney for pot stirring & making the HIV+ community look as if we can't take responsibility for our actions.   Mr Schreiber, your comments were not accurate or representative of all people living with HIV.  Thanks anyway.

Cya...

Responsibility...

Owning up to the actions you take is a sign of being a mature, responsible person.  Allowing people to blame their actions on other things, especially inanimate things, is enabling. The 1st is a good thing, the other isn't,

There's been a trend among people, government leaders, health officials, etc.. to blame other things for people's behavior.   Let's blame drugs/alcohol, let's blame heavy metal & don't forget D&D.  All of these things have been blamed for what society deems illicit behavior.  From rock-n-roll to feminism to environmental activism;  all have been blamed for what others call bad behavior.

In the past few years Craig's List has been blamed for the spread of HIV & STD's.  Now it's dating apps, like Grindr.   Officials in some countries are saying the rise of dating apps is the reason they're seeing a rise in HIV rates among their younger men.  

It may be true, these men are using dating apps to meet up, but Grindr isn't infecting anyone with HIV.  Grindr is merely making it easier for these guys to hook up.  Their risky behavior is what's driving the HIV transmission rates.  Stop blaming things for people's behavior.

These people are old enough to use a dating app.  They could've been taught safer sex behaviors,  They could've been taught to understand the risks of unprotected sex.  But, instead of focusing on education & prevention, some would rather blame an app. 

How  reasonable & adult is that?

Cya...

Personal Responsibility & Charlie Sheen...

OK, I'll go back to the Charlie topic once more.  I've said all I have to about him.   Yes, he should've bee more open with his partners about his status.   That's his issue & he could face serious consequences for not being upfront on the matter.

BUT!!!!  This is Charlie Sheen people.  Did you really think he wasn't carrying some type of communicable disease?  Seriously, the man's life was a train wreck for years.  How could anyone possibly believe someone who lived that lifestyle could come out unscathed?  Everything about his life was a high risk behavior.

Anyone who had sex or shared fluids with Charlie Sheen is equally responsible for their own well being.   Unless they were forced or tricked, they have to own up to being responsible for their involvement with Sheen.  They endangered their own health.  They decided to do these things with Sheen.  It seems that a lot of the people going after Sheen have a lot of high risk behaviors of their own, like drug use or being in the porn industry.

This really feels like a desperate grab at 15 minutes of fame, publicity or $,

Cya...

Responsibility...

Lately, there have been a lot of articles lately addressing people being prosecuted & charged for having sex & failing to inform their partners of their HIV+ status.  Some people convicted are getting some serious jail time.  Good.

Yes, I believe its everyone's  responsibility to keep themselves as safe as possible regarding sex. Condoms should always be used.   But still, there are those situations through force or deception that these efforts can be bypassed by 1 of the parties involved.  

If someone purposely exposes you to HIV, they should be prosecuted.  If some forces you or tampers with your condoms, they should be prosecuted.  If  a person specifically tells their partner they do not have HIV but are +, they should be prosecuted.

Yes, responsibility is necessary, but for both parties.  Not using a condom is stupid.  Failure to disclose being + before engaging in sex, is often & should be criminal.

Cya...

Disruption...

There have been some serious ripples coming through my home.  The disruption wasn't mine & doesn't directly concern me.  It does & will continue to affect my environment for possibly quite a while.  

Like I said, the action in question, wasn't my own, nor do I feel as if I'm the person to be discussing on such a forum.  However, the consequences of this event & how it'll effect me & mine are my business.  People often take actions or choose not to do so with little thought as to how this event will alter & impact other people's lives.

When you introduce something new or take something out of your life it will cause ripples in everyone else's life around you.  Even if they aren't people you readily interact with or even know.  Say, you decide to get a dog, good for you.  However, this will not only impact your life, but that of anyone else living in the house.  It will  effect those living near you, those who come visit you, those who provide goods/services for the dog, etc...

Not all ripples are bad, but they aren't all good either. The disruption that has come my way, has the potential for being good, but at least as much potential to be very bad.   Now, those more directly affected are waiting to see how it will impact them.  I'm more on the tertiary tier of things, but still the event has potential to cause alterations in my life.

I'm not sure how this will play out or if I'll ever be able to fully discuss the matter.  Just remember you aren't the only one in the pond when you cause a splash.   When I contracted HIV, it didn't just alter my life, but those of the people I was near.  We don't live in a vacuum.  

Cya...

Born That Way...

This article isn't about a GaGa song.  It's about kids born with HIV.  It states 20% of those children born with HIV are unaware of their status at the time of their 1st sexual encounter.  Of those aware, many reported not telling their partner of their status at the time of the experience.  Nor did most of them employ condoms.  

For those unaware of their status, the parents/guardians are at fault.  However, for those that knew, they are at least partly to blame.  It's obvious there was a failure somewhere to teach these kids their responsibility not to infect others.  The problem here is these kids act like other kids.  They don't want to use condoms.  They don't want to risk alienation by telling their partners they're +.

Too many people are treating these young people with the proverbial kid gloves.  They're so worried about the mental health of these kids, they're not conveying the importance of taking their meds, discourse & safer sexual practices.  In many places what these teens are doing is considered criminal & punishable.  These + kids are assaulting their partners.  Their behavior is fraudulent. 

Their partners bear some responsibility as well for not insisting on condoms.  However, the parents & other adults around these kids have to be held responsible for failing to not inform these kids not only of their status, but of the health risk they pose to others.  If past that point, these teens still choice to have sex with others without informing them of their status or using condoms, then in my opinion, their behavior is criminal.

Cya...

Just Stupid...

This article discusses the death of a woman who was slain by a lover after he was made aware that the was +.   according to his statement, she didn't tell him until after they had been sexually active.   He stated, "She killed me, so I killed her."  Then he left the mess of stabbed corpse to be found by the woman's 2 young children after they returned home from school.

To begin with, we can't be sure when she told him she was +, because she can't tell us for herself,  Why is that, because he killed her.  Having HIV today is not a death sentence.  Even if she did tell him after the fact, there is no guarantee he was infected.  Even if he was, he could've survived.

This is a matter of responsibility.  She should have told him of here status before having sex  with him.  He should've asked of her status.  He should've worn a condom.  Even if she did conceal her status, he isn't completely free of responsibility here.  It is 1st & foremost every adult individual's  responsibility to themselves to insure their own safety & well being as much as feasibly possible.  This man did not, if he had he wouldn't have been so terrified of becoming + that he felt justified in killing this woman.

When it comes to contracting the virus, most people could've avoided becoming HIV +.  There are instances when it isn't something a person can prevent, but most of the time it was a matter poor judgement & decision making.  This man should just be shot, for what he did to her, her kids, the people who had to deal with his mess & even himself.  

Cya...

OT A Little...

I'm a little off topic on this one & perhaps a bit callous.  But to hell with it, I've already started.   This article talks about a boy who got part of his arm bit off by a gator.  I know that social niceties state I should feel sympathy & concern for him.  Let's just say I don't.  

This boy went swimming in an area know for having large gators & don't they just look like lovely swimming mates.  Add to that, this is mating season for the beasties & what'd you think was going to happen.  The alligator probably thought he was either food or competition. 

Now, we have a boy missing an arm & a dead gator.  I know, how dare I feel sympathy for reptile.  I'm pretty sure there are lot more humans in the world than alligators.  This animal's crime was acting like what it was.  They boy's crime was stupidity.  The gator just taught him a blunt lesson in life.

I know, I know, I'm still OT.  Let's just say it like this, when you go playing in areas you know damn well are dangerous then don't be surprised when you get hurt.  Doesn't matter if it's swimming with randy gators, driving recklessly or having unprotected sex.  At some point you have to say, damn that was stupid & I did it.  This is my own doing.  I brought this on myself.

If some of us who are + had played safer or perhaps less often, maybe we wouldn't be +.  That's just a maybe.  Then again if this boy hadn't gone swimming in that water he'd still have his arm.  Oh well, done for now.

Cya...