Division...

Many articles detail stigma & the inability of certain populations to deal with HIV due to their cultural issues with the virus or being gay.  I saw a title today that read the fight against HIV can only be won if Black America leads.   This isn't a racist thing, nor am I arguing with the points made in the piece.  

My issue is that division has become too prevalent in this society.  There are very few who just identify themselves as a Americans.  They're hyphenated people, with divided loyalties & agendas.  Most typically the word, American, is in the rear & treated accordingly.  Being American is treated more like a geographic indicator than a point of culture. 

I'm a gay man over 50 with HIV.  I vote moderate & democrat.  My bloodlines are Cherokee, French & Greek (probably others).  I'm of lower income living in rural Oklahoma.  I'm a disabled Gen X'er.  I recognize I'm all of those, but they're just part of me, not my definition.

I could use any or all of these to define me & isolate myself.  This would only lead to division.  You can call it diversity, but often it's just a justification.  If we don't all get on the same page about somethings, then this nation is screwed.  If we can't do it about HIV, then when can we.  HIV doesn't care who or what you are.  Why should you, when you're fighting it?

Cya...  

Early Morning Stick...

I had to get stuck this morning for some blood work.  The doc is having my thyroid levels tested to see where I'm at on this new dosage.   He may have to alter it again. 

The lab tech, at my doc's office isn't the most friendly of people.  He does his job well, just don't ask for conversation.   This morning however, he something I'm not fond of at all.  He drew my blood from a vein on my hand.  Seriously, that stung when he pulled the needle out.  But, on the bright side, so far it isn't bruising like I usually do after blood draws.  I'll find out the results in about a week.

Cya...

Strange Realization...

I recently became aware of something that shouldn't bother me, but it's odd & a little disturbing.  When I was diagnosed with HIV, I was actually diagnosed as having AIDS.  My CD4 count was non-existent & my viral load was astronomical.   After I'd been on my regimen, my counts slowly improved.  I've only gotten above a CD4 count of 400 a few times, but my viral load is undetectable.

It's unlikely, I'll ever be at the target range for all my counts.  I started meds very late in the game.  Early application of a medical regimen does have a notable affect on long term health & activity levels.  I may never be where they want me to be or feel like I'd prefer.  Still, I'm better than I was, most days at least.

No matter what my numbers or how I feel, my diagnosis is still AIDS.  I tell people HIV, but actually according to legalities & health officials, I'm a PWA, a person with AIDS.   I guess I am, but still it's odd.

I remember how I felt in those days.  I could barely function.  I didn't want to eat.  Breathing was a challenge.  Any thing beyond sleep was a real effort.   Some days are bad now, some are very bad. But not like then, when they all were.

I don't tell people I have AIDS.  They freak out enough over HIV.  But as far as the medical community is concerned I am a person living with AIDS.  Damn, that feels weird.

Cya...