A Bit Rough...

 

The night before last night, right before I was getting ready for bed, there were skunks outside.   There was that smell & it was intense.   This time though, it made me nauseous & give me a headache.  

I spent a lot of yesterday with migraine like symptoms, minus the migraine.  Sounds, smells, lights were all much intense than they should've been.  Things were fading until about 5 or so.  Then the lawn guy showed & mowed.  The noise & smell pushed me right back into it.   Then the nausea & headache were back & watery eyes were an add-on.  

Hopefully today is skunk-free & my head can clear out.  That's all for now, take care,

Cya...

Still Adjusting...

 

The problem with this time of year is the wide swing of things.  The light levels are getting better, but dark storms are common.  It's warming & there are 80s in the forecast for highs.  Then again, the same forecasts calls for a couple of overnights just around freezing.  So, it's weird light, high pollen, storms & a 50+ temperature range.  

Those aren't easy things to adjust to.  I probably won't until things settle down some.  For now, I'm achy, tired & my morning blood pressure has been too low.  Transitions have never been my forte.  I'll get there, but for now, this sort of sucks.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Less & Less...

 

There's only 2 weeks until Christmas & not even 3 left in 2025.  Every year there's less of the holiday season.  The stores start pushing sales in October, but few are decked out or playing music.  The local Walmart  has no decorations up & I haven't heard a single holiday song.  I mostly haven't heard any music there.  There haven't been any bell ringers or even Angel Trees.

It's not just the stores, it's TV as well.  There aren't many holiday specials shown.  Most are on cable/pay channels.  There's are many specials that haven't aired in years.  I see pictures of local parades & calling them lacking would be an understatement.  My neighborhood has never been really lit up for the season, but there used to a few.  Now there's only 1 house & I can't see it because of a neighbor's giant, work trailer.

I'm not much for the holidays, but the lights, music & cheer made this season better.  It made this part of Winter tolerable.  I guess it's just a bah humbug world.

Cya...

Still Busy...

 

It stayed dark & stormy the entire time we were out yesterday.  The appointments & errands took much longer than expected.  It was dark when we got back.  

We have someone coming to install a new ceiling fan.  Hopefully this goes well.  Things need to get off the plate.  The holidays are coming fast; 2 days til Thanksgiving & 30 for Christmas.  But the best day is still 111 days out, when daylight saving time begins.

That's it for now.  We still have other errands to handle.  Take care.

Cya...

Busy Last Week...

 

There's a lot to handle this week & most of it has nothing to do with holidays.  It was already hectic before the ceiling fan light went down.  Now that needs to be replaced.  It's the primary light in the living room.  We'll try to pick something up today & get someone out soon to install it.

There are appointments & dinners this week plus our normal routine.  It's storming, let's make it dark & wet.  I'm not sleeping as well as I should & all of this is making things a lot harder.   I'm tired, stressed & fraxious. 

We have to go soon.  My roomie has an appointment & we have to get a ceiling fan.  Maybe the storm will let up before we head out.

Take care.

Cya...

Never Ending...

 

Being 58 has been like being at a really bad buffet where they keep loading your plate with things you never wanted.  There's been more of the typical crap like car stuff & house crap.  Then there were trips to the vet for both cats & now we're down to just Millie.  It's been hurry up, wait, spend a lot & stress even more.  Add to that, the crappy people of this country elected that orange bastard.   Him & his ilk are always  a threat.

My SAD hit early last year & I think it will again.  I'm really noticing the changing light.  I've got labs to be drawn & a telemedicine appointment coming up.  Big, new stress could be lurking on the edge.  I won't say much about it, because I'm not sure of anything.  I just know, I don't trust the situation.  I could be wrong, but so little goes our way.  During all of this, my roomie has had several ongoing health matters she's been dealing with.  They seem to be going well, but they take effort & planning.

We haven't really had our normal holiday routine since COVID.  We're trying, but things just aren't cooperating.  58 has been about stress, expense, lose, worry & exhaustion.  Life needs more off ramps.  I need to step away from this plate that things keep piling crap on.  I've had way more than my fill.

Cya...

Not Much Friday...

 

It was bright & cold this morning.  It's supposed to be warm enough tonight that we won't need to leave the tap dripping.  The light is slowly coming back & it's a little warmer.   But we can't forget that February can be our worst month around here.  Even March can be cold & have snow.

It's a normal shopping day.  Hopefully, it stays that way.  I'm too cold for much more. 

There were some articles on vaccines, but most of them were either above lay level or too early in development to be interesting.  Works like this that are going to the general public, should be rewritten to be easily comprehensible for non-professionals.  If  your work is still in the maybes & mights stage, it's too early to publish.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Uneasy Dark...

 

It's dark again this morning.  It's also drizzling.  Winds are supposed to blow in a cold week.  The hourly calls for it to be under freezing by 6:00.  The next several days will be very cold & there could be snow by Thursday night going into Friday morning.  Of course all of that could change for the better or worse.  

This Winter is being a lot harder on me than last year.  Aches, chilblains, swelling, rough breathing, skin issues, etc...   The mornings won't start coming earlier for a week  & then only by minutes.  Right now sunrise is at 7:27.  By the 19th it should be at 7:24.  But sunset should move from 5:21 to 5:34 in that time.  So in 2 weeks there should be 16 more minutes of sunshine.  It's not much, but it's something.  The time change is still over 60 days away.

I'm not doing well with this Winter or the impending orange BS storm.  I'm trying to find something as a high point.  It's not easy, but I am trying.  It'd be nice if everything else wasn't fighting so hard to make it feel impossible.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

It's Supposed To Be The Holidays...

 

It's not unusual for me to be off about holidays.  We don't have the best relationship.  But, over the last few years the whole world seems to have gone off of them as well.  There's hardly anything at Walmart or in town telling you it's the holidays; few (if any) decorations, no music, few specialized gifts, no Salvation Army bell ringers, etc...

The number of TV holiday specials has dwindled.  Then channels that look like their showing stuff, it's just a few things on loop.  Normally, I can get lost in the twinkling lights.  Not this year.  Only 1 other house besides us is consistently doing any lights & both are very minimal.   Even the homes that have lights up aren't turning the on.

What little holiday spirit I can usually muster with the lights, music & specials isn't here this year.  Except this time, it's no me.  It seems like everyone has bailed on things this year.  I'm sure they have their reasons, but still I miss the lights.

Apparently the Grinch succeeded after all.

Cya...

Drear & Haze...

 

It got dark early yesterday & finally stormed last night.  It's not only dreary this morning, it's hazy as well.  Haze is hard on the eyes.  It doesn't let much light though, but what it does is rough.  It's warm today, but supposed to cool back down midweek.

This is the halfway point of December.   5 Days are left until Yule season starts with the solstice.  There's just a little past that before Christmas & New Years.

That's about it this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

Dismal December...

 

December's being December, a suckfest of cold, drear & ick.  I woke to thick cloud cover.  It looks to be mostly cloudy throughout the month.  There goes any chance of me feeling decent.  It'd be easier if the days were clear even if they weren't bright.  

It's not being a good holiday season.  So many people who normally are holiday happy have checked out this year.  Maybe they're just too burned out to handle holiday things.  I miss the lights.  The lights are about the only things I really like about the holiday.  

It'd be nice to have something positive to say or a solution to offer.  But, I don't have either of those.  Maybe someone else will, but not me.  I'm staying far too in the moment for my own sake.  Not sure what I can do about that.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Not Clicking...

 

There are seasonal things I can usually use during the holiday times to help me through.  They aren't working well, if at all, this year.  Normally there's TV specials, lights & music.  The holidays specials usually started the Friday after Thanksgiving.  So far, there's been none of the standards.  The only lights I'm seeing are those in our window.  I can usually get lost in the blinking lights, but not this year.  I can hardly get myself to listen to holiday music.   I'd guess that I was just off holidays again, but no one else seems that on about it either.  A few stores have put things up, but not many houses.  

I'm not handling the cold as well this year.  The light levels are draining me.  The dark of the year is just cold, crap.  Maybe things will pick up a bit.  They probably won't, but that'd be nice.  I doubt I'll find the holly or the jolly this season.

Take care.

Cya...

Fading With The Last Of It...

 

This is the last Sunday of October.   Halloween is almost here & to be honest, I don't really care.  I hate that.  This used to be my favorite holiday.  

So much of what I enjoyed is gone & what's left I can't muster much excitement for.  I should've never stayed long enough to see this.  I wonder whose sick joke it was for me to live this long.  Hell, it was probably mine.  Another plan that backfired.

It's hazy again this morning & I don't feel well.  I spent most of yesterday tired, achey & just feeling off.  I thought sleep might help, but it didn't.  

The light is almost gone & this is the last week before the hellish time change.  I'll lose an hour of light, just some morning asshats can have it.  Sunset next Sunday will be 5:41.  I hope that hour of morning light brings those damn morning people misery.

The dread is hear.  I don't know how well I'll fare this year.  The Summer was weak & frustrating.  I don't have high hopes for the dark seasons this time around.  It's really hard to be this exhausted & out of it all the time & the season's just beginning.

That's all for now.  Take care.

Cya...

It's Here...

 

The fret & dread are back.  I hate the seasonal darkening.  It feels like an attack on my well being.  A month ago, the light lasted well past 8.  Now it's sundown before 7.  There's already less than 12 hours of light in the day now.  I wish I could shut down when there was less than half a day's worth of sunlight.  

With no fans going, I can hear every noise.   Something's been waking me just before 7 AM for weeks.  It's a lot of outside crap making noise I can hear now.  To hell with morning birds, people, trains, etc...  It's cool enough the cats feel like roughhousing all night.  The cool down is changing how I sleep & how sore I am because of it. 

I hate waking up.  Nothing good ever comes of waking up.   I know there will be BS when I wake up, I'm just not sure what that will be.  What screwed up?  What needs fixed?  What did the cats do?   Am I what's messed up?  

As much as I love looking at the moon, I hate dusk & dawn.  Let it be bright or dark, but the middle crap is awful.  Shove the dismal somewhere I never have to deal with it again.   I will never understand the people who like the dismal, overcast, cloudy, foggy, dreary days.  I have serious questions concerning their character. 

I wish I didn't have to sleep.  That's when the defenses go down.  That's when we fool ourselves with dreams.  That's when stress gets creative & screws with those dreams.  Most of all, if I didn't have to sleep, I wouldn't have to wake.  If a person must sleep, they should have the option of never waking.

Little, if any good, ever comes from waking.

Cya...

1st Monday of October...

 

The beginning of the month stuff should wrap up today.  We'll do some shopping & handle the last bill that isn't online.  Then a couple of errands & we'll be home.

The light's changed pretty drastically & I already feel it.  I see people online complaining about it not being Fall-ish enough for them.  While I'm dreading every minute of light lost to damn seasonal dark.   My wish for all those damned perky, dark of the year people is simple.  I hope they have hellacious colds & ballistic diarrhea all season long.  If I'm going to deal with more SAD, I'm willing to pass the misery around.

That's about it for this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

Cold Start...

 

Even though we've finally passed the 12 hours of sunlight mark, it's still cold.  Tonight could dip down to freezing.  Spring will start off cold & most likely wet.  It'd be nice for there to be warm, bright days, but that doesn't look to be the case.  

This morning will consist of shopping & then some errands.  I'm not aware of anything else that needs handled today.  Mornings are still being a struggle, hopefully that will get better as the seasons change.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Unsure Resolution...

 

Yesterday's plumbing issue seems to have resolved itself.  We could look at this as a good thing, nothing had to be done or money spent.  However, we don't know what happened, so there's that.  Hopefully, it is actually resolved.

This morning a light bulb was blinking, it'll probably go out soon.  I have to order those because they're hard to find locally.   It took me a bit, but I did find & order them.  I still have some for now, but I'd like not to run out.

The only HIV news is that drug makers are looking to extend the dosage intervals for long acting injectables.  The current for most is 1 - 2 months.   They're pushing for 4 - 6 months.  I get the appeal, but a shot getting months worth of meds in your upper ass could be bit rough.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Did It...

 

We managed an outing.  That's an event for us.  We actually went to see people & were social.   It's not something we're used to anymore.  Things were slowing down before COVID & after that, they came to a near complete stop.   

Still we went.  There was food, people, lights, music, conversation, etc...  We may not be used to it, but we probably needed to be somewhere else at least once for the holidays.   I'm done for the season, my roomie has a family thing tomorrow.  

We saw decorations & lights driving back.  Even though the other drivers were annoying, the lights were nice.  Hopefully, it won't be so long before the next outing.

Take care.

Cya...

Not Much Saturday...

 

Yesterday went mostly as planned.  The only issue was the delivery with my meds on it was late to the pharmacy.  I'll have to pick them up on Monday.  Other than that, the day was alright.  It was darker than we'd like & it eventually rained a bit.  The rain we need, not so much the dark. 

My seasonal blahs seem to have been contagious.  For a while during the holidays, people near us would decorate their homes fairly well.  Bit by bit, that's faded.  Some of them may have moved or passed on.  The amount of holiday decor & lights has definitely diminished.   I wish it hadn't.  The lights are probably my favorite part of the holiday season.  Still the sense of holiday spirit has been dwindling for years.  I think it was replaced by politics, religions, hate & brattiness.

For those still putting up holiday lights, thank you.  

Take care.

Cya...

Offense...

 

Being offended at something seems to be the ticket to conversation these days.  I try not get offended at things since they weren't generally aimed at me.   However sometimes I wonder are these people really offended.  Maybe they're dealing with hurt feelings,  injured egos or a dissonances in expected realities.  

There's been a lot in the recent past that's bruised my feelings & my ego.  I'm usually not taken in by the dissonance, but the wasn't the case last night.   Last night I was offended or at least it felt that way at the time.

I was going to the kitchen & noticed how ridiculously dark it was outside.  Then I looked at the clock & it was just 6 PM.  For a moment I was just so offended.  How could it be this dark already?  It wasn't just evening dark either, it was pitch outside.  There was cloud cover, so the night sky was a void.  

I hate the early dark.  It's that way by 5:15PM now & will only get earlier.   After being used to have light till about 9PM, this isn't the loss of an hour, it's nearly 4.  On top of that even the morning light is also waning, no matter what the time trick says.

Depending where you are in the northern hemisphere, by Yule, the days will shorten to a brief  7 - 8 hours.  After MidSummer having between 15 - 16 hours of daylight.  That's half the light, no surprise people go nuts.  It's no wonder at the offense.

Technically, I wasn't offended.  There was no great moral or ethical outrage.  I was just caught of guard & surprised by the situation.  I can dislike the dark days, but I can't really be offended by them.  They aren't sentient.  This wasn't aimed at me.  So, I have no real offense with the dark days.  But, I do have plenty of hate.  I hates it forevers.

Cya...