Routine Failure...

Many won't like this, but positive routines, healthy diets & HIV prevention have all failed at some point due to the same thing.  No matter how badly we might've wanted any of these things to succeed, we never shifted them from being a conscious action to a habitual or even automatic way of life.  When people are trying to lose weight, they actively think about their diet, food choices & exercise.  It's a lot of focus for most people.  More focus than they can maintain with the mindset of it being a temporary things with an end goal. 

For a diet to succeed, for a behavior to be modified, for HIV prevention to succeed, these actions need to be intuitive & unconscious.  These things have to become ingratiated in our lives.  They become something that just "is".  

This is hard to do as an individual, a group or society.  We've been trying to improve our country's treatment of minorities for decades & not enough has taken root.   Women have fought for centuries just to be treated as equals & we're still not there.   For every action or change pushed forward, there will always some things passively holding things back.  Some actively combatting any progress at all.

For every positive change a person attempts, they will face resistance.  Some will come from within.  We are mostly creatures of habit.  Behavior is amazingly difficult to alter.  Then you have all the external factors like social norms & peer pressure.  A dieter faces self-doubt, possibly self loathing.  He also faces the attitudes of those around him.  The world doesn't go on a diet with you.  You're still confronted with all the things that made you overweight.  TV & corporations make $ on you dieting & most especially you failing.  Entities profit on your bad poor habits, failures & striving to be socially normal.  It's insidious.

Your diet, your attempt to better your situation & the attempts at HIV prevention have all faced the same hardships.  They have faced our inability to let these actions become part of us & not merely something we do.   Too many others profit off of our trying & our eventual failure.  You have to be aware of that, before going into something like this.  It can be done.  You can lose weight, you can stop smoking, you can limit your prejudices, you can fight against HIV, it just won't be easy.

Look at it this way.  Diets & immediate behavior modifications are sprints.  Long term healthy lifestyles are lifelong marathons.   This won't be a fast dash.  It'll be a slow, meandering, tiresome journey.  Like so many things say, it all starts with the 1st step.

Cya...

Behavior Mod...

There have been a lot of conversations about why certain people act the way they do.  Why are some groups more inclined to risky behaviors, violence or indulgence?  We like to address these matters & expect them to be solved by adults.  Often by adults for other adults.   (Since, I'm a man, I'll deal mostly with male things, as not to offend.)  

Some men are violent, so all men should do something about it.  The problem with that type of behavior modification is simple.  It generally doesn't work.  Unless the person in question chooses to change or is somehow forced to, there's little chance of actually altering their behavior.

There's been a lot written on these matters & usually by people citing social science & psychological research.   I won't call these people social scientists, sociologists or psychologist.  If they were, they'd know that adult behavior modification is usually a losing game.  If this wasn't the case, there wouldn't be a gigantic industry devoted to dieting.  Yes, adults can change their behavior, but it is difficult & will generally fail unless said person genuinely desires to change & is willing to work very hard at it.

Bad behavior is systemic in this society.  Our society indulges, excuses & often encourages it.   If behavior modification is to be successful, it usually has to happen during childhood.  It needs to come from parents & other adults in the child's life; neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc...  Even then, you have to account for peer pressure's ability to alter children's behavior.

If we want to train people out of risky, indulgent, unpleasant or even violent behaviors, we have to start with children.  Adults will only change  due to their choice or under duress.  If behavior modification were easy, then any one would be able to simply put down their cigarettes and walk away.  They'd be able to stop their addictive behaviors.  They'd be able to prevent their own self destructive tendencies.  

Education is the key here.  We have to start early & be on the same page.  The problem is, we'll probably never share the same perspective.   We'll keep saying boys will be boys.  Guys are just going to screw around.  Men can't take care of children.  These are some of the things that impact what adults think acceptable behavior should be.

Cya...