Television is filled with people who are delusional, in denial or just plain stupid. America Idol and So You Think You Can Dance show us people who swear it's their life long dream to be a dancer or a pop star. They don't understand why the judges didn't see their brilliance. Good grief, they had practiced for a whole three days. Mind you, that was probably longer than they had committed to anything besides sitting on the couch, vid-gaming or texting. America's Next Top Model is consistently filled vicious victims. These girls focus on how it's not right that the other girl stole top sport from her that week. HGTV's House Hunters has numerous instances of suddenly appearing babies. It always go like this, "Our old place was fine before that baby showed up, don't know where that came from." Rant Part One over.
Rant Part Two begin. There are three things to take from these shows. If you really really want something, then you are going to have to really, really work for it. Clue #1 - That means longer than three days. I hate to see those sloppy idiots on the dance stage acting like they have some level of talent or dedication. It's a total insult to those people who have spent their lives pursuing that art.
The Models waste their time fighting, conniving & griping. Watch a couple of seasons and you'll figure out a few things. On Top Model and many other talent based shows, although there are other contestants, you really aren't competing against them. You are competing against yourself. On shows like this, it isn't the judges or the other contestants that send you home, it's yourself. These models send themselves home by focusing on their own flaws or never realizing they have any flaws. On Top Model your flaw will either make you or break you, depending on
YOUR attitude.
That mysteriously appearing baby on House Hunters is always a laugh. The couple standing there looking at the infant like I don't know where that came from, do you? Some things in this life are out of your control, but you'd be stunned how many aren't. As Adults, most of us, have reasonable control over our lives. Like when to and when not to have a baby. They wander why their failed credit is keeping them from getting their dream home. What do you mean, we need a down payment? Closing costs, property taxes, home inspections. Those are our responsibility? The Hell you say.
End Rant.
Bringing this back to me now. I've heard many people say that ultimately you are responsible for your own safety, but rarely sinks in on people. The person who commits vehicular manslaughter while drunk, may not have made the decision to kill someone, but he did make the decision to drink. The person who gets victimized in a dark alley or frat party, did not ask to be attacked (and shouldn't have been attacked), but they did choose to put themselves in a precarious situation. You can't get angry that you got bit by a shark when you dove into waters infested with great whites. Smokey's line about forest fires can be paraphrased, only you can keep yourself safe. You can't depend on anyone else for that.
I used to teach at a university. I had a lot of papers to grade and tests to score. It never failed that some student would come up and say, " I can't believe you gave me that grade." I'd always tell them that I didn't give them anything, they did. I was not the one who took the test, I was not the one who wrote the paper nor was I the one who failed to take either assignment seriously. They gave themselves their own bad grade. Just like we give ourselves most of the bad things in our lives; bad credit, expanding waistlines, miserable relationships, etc...
This gets back to HIV now. I thought I was mostly playing safe. I should've known there was no such thing as safe sex, safer yes, but still not safe. Many of us think we can spot who will have HIV, like there's going to be this big, blinking pink neon + over their heads. Some are like, so what if I get it, there are meds these days. Believe me those meds may keep you going but the physical, emotional & financial costs is enormous. In the end, it's simple, I gave myself HIV. There may have been others along for the ride, but I'm the one that did the act. It sucks to have to take responsibility for that, but its better than being bitter and blaming everyone and everything else.
Remember if you're going dream, dream big, but big dreams take big work. Take care yourself, you're the only one who can or will. I know sometimes its hard, but we really have to learn to like ourselves, even if we screw up or get scared.
