Insensitive Maybe...

  

Some may find me insensitive on this matter, but here we go.  I live in a rural area.  Until telemedicine came along, I had to drive over 120 miles to get to the nearest place that handled HIV.  There weren't & still aren't support groups/agencies in my area.  There is no special support for HIV here.  Yet, I got to my doctors, labs & took my meds.   It took a lot of effort on my part & friends, but it happened. 

I can understand when they say people in less developed  areas have a hard time getting treatment. There's the logistics, monies & other issues of the area to consider.  But here, in the US, especially in urban areas, there are options.

So, why is it I often read about Black & Hispanic populations being so behind in treatment?  It's most  often worse with males.  Still, many of them are  urban & should  have access.  They're just not taking  the help being offered.   That's not a medical issue, it's  a cultural problem.  That's something for a social  worker or someone else, not a doctor.  If someone doesn't want help, fine, but stop being a spreader. 

It doesn't matter what your gender, sex,  race, etc.. is.  If you are an adult, it's on you to make sure you get what you need to stay healthy.  If you let stigma impede your treatment, that's not on doctors or clinics.   Make a choice, you can be someone who's accepted & dying or you can live.

Cya...

Aware Of It...

 

I've seen pieces for a while about how healthcare professionals are worried about people experiencing developments during the pandemic.  Many people are not used to isolation or restrictions.  For the introverts, that may not be a problem.  But, most people aren't hermits. 

The pandemic has caused many to lose direct access healthcare professionals.  Others have had no or limited social contact/support.  This can be very damaging for some.  People are mostly social creatures.   For  those  already restricted, this  added level of isolation can be devastating. 

The levels of substance abuse, overeating, other  indulgences & mental disorders have risen.  Some  face depression, worsening  mental conditions, suicidal ideation, etc...  Others dove into substance  abuse  or overindulgence. 

The professionals say they're  aware  of his.   Yet they act surprised.  The actions & reactions these people are taking are direct responses to the trauma & uncertainty they're facing.  Many lacked coping strategies or if they had them, they weren't possible or practical during COVID.  Why the surprise?  This seemed pretty much expected.

We're going to come out of this with fewer people.  There will be heavier people.  There will be depressed, anxious, suicidal people.  That's what happens during & after a crisis.  The best we can do is to mitigate the numbers & help those who come out the other side.

That's all for now, take care.

COVID & Isolation...

 

For some, the hardest part of the pandemic has been the isolation.  Humans are social beings & for some, losing this level of interaction can be very hard, even damaging.  Many people living with HIV or other chronic conditions, even being elderly, already felt  isolated.

The effects of isolation have been studied for decades.  Many oppose solitary isolation in prisons.  For some, the effects of being isolated are negligible.  For other they can onset rapidly & be extreme.

This pandemic has caused the loss of social interaction for many.  Even the most basic things; shopping, medical appointments, holidays...   For introverts, this may be fine, but not for others.   It can lead to depression & destroy social support systems.  Consider recovering addicts who lean on others to maintain their sobriety.  Consider the person who was already living alone.

Some think they can replace social interactions with virtual meetings.  That may work for some, but not for others.  Social interaction is more complex than simply hearing voices or seeing images.  Immediate social interaction is far more emotive & intimate than a screen could provide.

I hope this pandemic ends soon.  A lot of people need others.   Streisand sang, "People who need people, are the luckiest people in the world..."  I don't know about that, but I'm sure some folks feel that way.  

Take care & be kind.

Cya...

Wound Up...

 

It used to be I was the only 1 getting wound up this time of year.  The seasonal yick was beginning & I was getting nervous.  Don't get me wrong, it is & I am.  However, it's worse now.  With COVID & this election, it seems like the whole world jumped in this little alcove of anxiety with me.  

Sometimes, it's the more, the merrier.  That isn't now.  Being anxious & stress ridden is bad enough when I'm the only person going through it.   But when everybody else is as well, it's too much.   It feels like there's very little solid ground & what's left, keeps eroding.  

I'm trying not to have a bad morning.  Sometimes, I can manage that, but it's never easy.  Now, with everything else falling apart & other people losing themselves to this, it's even harder.  I know they don't mean to add to my stress, but they do.  Worse than that, they're crowding in & destroying what few anchors I had left.  I really don't like most people. 

What I can say, people need to find a way to lessen these stress levels,   If not, we're a clock wound to tight.  Soon, the gears will grind & the springs will break.  Something has to give & it might be the people.

Maybe tomorrow there'll be articles & it'll be less about me.  Take care.

Cya...

Hard Times...

This article is about isolation COVID-19 is causing, especially among the elderly in the Gay & non-hetero communities.  It compares these people to their straight counterparts.  It talks about their losses, fears & needs.   These people were dependent on  communities & services offered.  Now, they've both have been shut away from all that support.  This is  hard on everyone.  But, the more fringe you are, the harder it is.  These people are Gay, HIV+ & elderly.  Often they're lone & lacking resources.  

Give it a read.   Take care.  

Cya...

Tele...

Telemedicine has been a real boon for me.  I could get by without it & may have to again at some point.  But, while it's available, it provides a great service to me.  This is part of living in a rural area with a chronic illness, especially a condition loaded with so much preconception & stigma.

This article, goes into Tele-IPT.  IPT is interpersonal psychotherapy.    This is generally conducted in person, but in IPT, it's done via a phone, possibly a video chat.   It has shown to help with rural HIV patients.   Many + people, often those living in rural areas, face depression.  

Both the virus & the locale are isolating.  It can be hard to be social in rural areas under the best of circumstances, let alone dealing with a highly polarizing illness such as HIV.   As much good has come from me having the telemedicine bus, I'm certain Tele-IPT could be a real game changer, even a life saver, for many people.

Give it a read.

Cya...

Tulsa Doctor...

It looks like I'll be heading back to Tulsa for my specialist appointments.  After this next appointment, I'll be back with the doctor that saw while I was using telemedicine.  I could altered this appointment, but it would've changed other's schedules.  I try not to do that if I can help it.

It means a drive, but that's better than the alternative in Stigler.  I needed to get this handled.  It was nice to have a little good news.  Lately, things haven't been that great.

Being in a small town, being chronically ill, not being involved; it's all very isolating.  This last couple of years has seemed even more so.  I don't see much I can do about it. 

At least it's finally raining.  Maybe I'll start feeling a little better.  That'd be nice.

Cya..

Mental State...

I'm not going to point to any specific article today.  There's been a recent influx of reports regarding the mental health of gay men & their likelihood of contracting HIV.  These  mental health issues ranged from depression to addiction.  There is agreement in these articles these conditions increase the likelihood of a gay man becoming +.  I just 1 thing to say to that...

DUH!

Of course these things contribute to becoming +.   I would be surprised if the same didn't hold out for every sampling population, not just gay men.   Mental illness is just another factor affecting decision making ability.  It also further isolates us, therefore marginalizes the person suffering from the condition. 

I've talked repeatedly about how marginalizing & isolating a person put them at risk for HIV & just about every other bad thing out there.  Whether its being clinically depressed, schizophrenic, or  an addict, it all impairs your reasoning & contributes to risky behavior taking.  

There's nothing new being said here.  If this is news to these researchers, then we've got serious problems.  It is almost certainly not only applicable to the gay community either.  Anything that marginalizes a person puts them at risk for a host of issues & 1 of those is  HIV.

No news here.

Cya...

Baton Rogue...

According to this article, Baton Rogue had the HIV highest transmission rates, not the most cases, but still.   New Orleans placed at 5th in the nation.  Not something you want your city or state known for.  

I can't say that I'm shocked.  These areas have been economically hard hit since Hurricane Katrina.  They have a large minority population & a known issue with every factor that contributes to HIV transmission; lack of HIV education/prevention, high incidence of drug use & a high rate of poverty.  

I've listed these fringe factors before.  Louisiana has a huge number of marginalized people.  Case after case has shown these people to be more prone to being in situations that lead to HIV.   This isn't just about people living in the southern USA.  It's about people living in isolation, being marginalized & disenfranchised.  

Until we get everyone involved with the fight against HIV, this virus isn't going anywhere.  We can't be satisfied that the mainstream, white, middle class, straight person got the info.  Everyone must be included & involved.  I see an article like this at least a couple of times a month.  People almost always react like it's something new.  It's not.  How much longer before we realize this disease doesn't care who it infects, so we can't care who we treat.  Everyone must be educated, tested & if need be treated.

Cya....

The Letter I...

I have written about the "I" word, Isolation before, but it does merit more discussion.  Isolation is the state of being separated from something else.  For + people it can be devastating.  I live in a rural area & as I've said there are next to no resources available for a + person.  A lot of people still believe that HIV is some form of divine retribution. 

Isolation can lead to depression.  Depression can affect your state of mental & physical health.  This added burden can be exacerbate an already fragile health situation.  Isolation can be very stressful & that stress can/will have a negative effect on your health, especially if your immunity is already compromised.  

It is seriously in your best interest to keep your interactions with others as active & ongoing as possible.  I know that isn't easy.  Especially if you're already isolated.   If you are religious, there are churches.  If you live in a large area, there might be support groups you can attend.  There may organizations in your town that you can join that have nothing to do with being HIV.   Perhaps there are online communities you can frequent.   We are social animals & we need contact.

It's up to you, to try & keep yourself from slipping into the cracks.  Believe me, I know how crappy & impossible that sounds.  I don't have the answers on this one.  I can barely keep this going in my own life & I'm often not doing that well with it.  That doesn't mean that I don't know how important it is.  Good luck.

Cya

HIV & The Town I Live In...

It took me a little while to get to this post.  I wanted to be more certain on a few things before I wrote it.  I am aware of a few things concerning HIV & this town.

1. There are no support groups for someone who is HIV+, even though there is a high rate of transmission in the surrounding area.
2. I live in a border town & across the border in Ft. Smith, AR there are more treatment options & support measures.  I qualify for none of these because I live in Oklahoma.
3. There are no doctors who specialize in HIV in my area.
4. It would be difficult to get my medications from the pharmacies in my local area.
5. If I had not already been on disability & was still working, I have no doubt in my mind that once my HIV status became known that I would've been creatively terminated.
6. I know that there are tons of churches in my area, but no RAIN (Regional AIDS Interfaith Network).
7. I know that most + people in my area probably feel they have to hide their status for fear or reprisal by families, employers or just the locals in general.
8. I know that the majority of people here operate with an extremely biased, outdated & religiously blind knowledge base concerning HIV & those who are +.
9. I know that many of the local people who should be educating on the matters of HIV, STD's & sex actively obstructing any real discussion on the matters.
10. I know that when the internet went out for two days, I felt as if I might as well have been living on the top of Mount Everest.   My outlet to the world was gone & I was isolated. 

Everything on that list sucked.  Before anyone says, hey just move, I would if it were feasible.  Thanks to the economy, I'm pretty much stuck where I am. Not to mention, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll  ever be able to leave Oklahoma.  If I did, I'd be on a waiting list for my meds from whatever program that state had.  I can't afford to go without my meds, so moving out of the state is not an option. 

I'm not meaning to whine, but I think it is important to note that I have explored the resources in my area.  There just aren't many, if any.  I hope things are better where ever you may be.

Try to have a good night everyone.

Isolated...

When you're + or have a chronic illness, you often find yourself feeling alone.  Many of us, found that a lot of people we thought were in our corners when we got sick are now nowhere to be found.  Being ill, limits you, your abilities, your choices & the people who will be in your life.

If you've been ill for long, you try to develop means of coping with these lessened options & the isolation.  One of the most obvious is the internet.  I use the internet to communicate, shop, research, blog & just occupy my time.  It keeps me feeling more connected & part of things.  Sometimes we forget these things we depend on can disappear. 

On Sunday my internet went out....

My roomie & I were aggravated to say the least.  We called our provider (Suddenlink Sucks) & were told there was an outage.    Funny, I think we already knew that before we called, but they had no idea how long it  would take to fix.  We considered going out, but my area (SE OK) was virtually underwater from storms & flooding, so that was out.  The cable was freaking out as well, so we were virtually cut off for almost 2 days.  

That sucked!  There was nothing we could do about the situation.  If we had needed anything it would've been difficult since many of the roads in our area were flooded.  I'm not even sure that we could've gotten to the hospital, if we had gotten ill.  The roads in my area suck & there are a lot of low-water bridges, what a stupid concept.

Being ill & isolated is beyond frustrating, it can be outright scary.  The what-if's set in on you.  What-if this or that happens, what will I do?  The stress from all of this is bad on you & only feeds into the bad situation you're already in.  

I don't really have a good thing to point out in this post.  I am happy, my net is back, but still it reminded me of how fragile my little part of the world really is & again that sucks!

I hope life is treating you better where ever you are today.