Getting Back...

 

When you're chronically ill & have a hard, exhausting period, recovery isn't a 1 to 1 process.  A good night's rest & a less challenging day doesn't undo hard day that left you depleted.  It may take 2 or 3 times that to actually feel normal again.  Well, at least what's normal for you.  Being constantly that sick is already depleting.  You're already running on fumes most the time.  Add to that, a very demanding day with a lot of stressors of whatever nature & you're in a deficit.  

If you can, you try to maintain a fairly even recovering of expenditure.   But hard days burn you out quick.  It takes days of rest & less than normal activity for you to catch up.  For anyone not dealing with a chronic illness, count yourself lucky & be patient.  If you can't be patient & kind, just shut up or stay away.  You're pushing, complaining & drama only slows down the process.   Some people are as much of a drain as any hardship.

This last few months, hell years, have been crap & recovery has been all but impossible.  I keep waking up & hoping for nothing days, so I can catch a little bit more.  It's been really challenging for a while now.

Cya...

Summer Swelter....

 

It's been hotter & muggier here.  But, when you're not used to it, this is more than enough to make you feel off.  Even with the fans & AC, there are moments when this is stifling.  It's mainly the humidity.  Our Summers are always sticky.  But the dumps of rain we just before the heat set in has left us in a steam pit.

It looks as if the energy assistance went through.  Yay, we needed that.  It may not be much for other people, but a few hundred on a bill can get us through several months.

Other than trying to stay cool, there isn't much going here this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

No More...

 

So many people are pushing & demanding lately. I don't get it.  Thanks to COVID, the economy, the election, etc... most people are over it.  They're out spoons, energy, cares, etc...  They have no F's left to give & the next demand, annoyance, hardship may be the last straw.

I've been expecting a lot more people to snap lately.   The social veneer is close to cracking & letting it all crash into mayhem.   We've seen a little with the BLM groups.  There have been other rights groups in the mix as well.  But extremes on the end of both political extremes keep pushing.  I think they want things to utterly disintegrate.

This isn't how they'll get their way.  They may gain some ground.  But anything garnered this way will only be lost later. There are insane rage monsters on both ends & an exhausted middleground. Maybe the middle should take aim at the ends & cut them loose.

Hopefully things will calm down before this escalates too far.  Take care.

Cya...

Tiring...

This last year has been exhausting.  I've talked about spoons & energy before.  Most people start life & they have gallons, kegs, some even seem to have dump-trucks full of energy being renewed daily.   That can change as you get older, as limitations & disabilities enter your life.   You may find you only have cups per day compared to others.   Some of us can find our way down to spoons.

At least, in the beginning, they're still heaping tablespoons. But sometimes they can work themselves down to tiny appetizer spoons.  It can get worse & people wind up working with dashes & pinches or even just suggestions of energy.  

I'm not that low, but there are days when I wonder.  How much do I have left in me?  Am I going to be able to come back from this?  There are mornings I wake up agitated, nervous, panicky & wonder if I can make it through the morning, let alone the day.  

This year has been rough already.  We've lost 2 cats. I went into the hospital.  I lost a medication & had to start a new regimen. The weather's been bad.  Now, this electric company screw up.  I hope it all works out alright.  But, if it doesn't I don't know if I have anything left to do much about it.  I try not to focus on it, but there are days I'm just spent, sick & emotionally exhausted.

Something needs to go our way soon.

Cya...

Too Much...

I wound up having quite a bit of errands & things to do around the house yesterday.  By the time my roomie got home, I was exhausted.  I hadn't planned on doing that much, but things kept piling on.  I'm still tired today from it.  That's a problem with this kind of situation.  It isn't just today's energy you're spending, it could be that of several days yet to come.  

I'm not all that focused & my head still isn't really in it, so this is it for now.   I'll try to rest up today & do more tomorrow.

Cya...

Wrap Up...

The 1st full week of December is behind us & it's been a weird month.  It's been way too warm & I've been incredibly busy.  Neither of which I appreciate.  

The warm weather is supposed to drop off this evening.  It's looking like we'll be back to leaving on the faucets at night for a while.  This up & down stuff isn't pleasant.  We've had the windows open the better part of the last month.  Now, it's time to shut it all down again.

Last week was strange for us.  We had something that had to be dealt with every day.  Most people deal with that all the time, but I don't & it left me worn out.  I'm still trying to catch up.  I hate this.  I never realize how off my health is until something like that comes along & smacks me in the face with it.  Hey, wake up you're + & your energy levels suck.  There should totally be little hearts or energy cans you can occasionally jump up & grab.

I got my stretches in & some steps done.  I still have to deal with some household stuff, so I'm not sure how much else I'll get done today.  I really dislike days when just loading the dishwasher is a planned-for event.

Cya...

What Energy...

No pic today or article for that matter.  We're in the process of really cleaning the house.  I'm happy with the outcome, not so much with the process.  It hasn't been that hard, it's just been a lot & I mean a lot of everything; moving, dusting, cleaning, sorting, scooting, reshelving, etc...

The problem is, I don't have the endurance I did before HIV.  There are days when I never get rundown.  Then there are others when the simplest things wear me out completely.  The tiredness or fatigue I'm talking about doesn't come on slowly.  One second you're fine, then caput, you're finished.  It's like someone unplugged you or saddled you with a bag of bricks.

It's really annoying.  All you want to do is to finish one simple task, then even it turns out to be too much for you.  All you can do is stop & allow yourself to recover.  It may take a minute, an hour or even the whole day.  When you're +, you have to try & plan for those days.  If you don't konk out, then you have all that extra time. If you do fizzle, then you've allowed yourself time to deal with it.

Cya...