Goodbye July...

 

This is the last day of July.  The month started off alright.  It wasn't that Summery.  It was overcast, damp & fairly mild temps.  Then the tail end got here.  It stayed hazy, while the humidity & temps cranked up.  I haven't handled this part of the month.  I'm not sleeping well & it's leading me to feel off, sick & anxious.  

Tomorrow starts August.   I have expectations for that month & they're all bad.  I think this is going to be a bad month.  It feels like a lot is coming my way & I probably won't be able to handle it.  I think this is going to be a month of loss.   It's the last month of my birth year.  It's the last month I'll be in my 50s.  

I really needed a good Summer.  Just another thing on the list I never got.  I don't need to see September.  I don't need more trips around the circle.  I would gladly just step off the ride.  I'm tired of feeling like this.  I hate knowing my life peaked decades ago & it wasn't that great.  I broke the GenX rule.  I should've died young.  I wouldn't have had to see what a disaster I became.

Goodbye July, you failed at being a good Summer month.

Cya...

July Lasts...

 

The last days of July are here, no more Saturdays.  This Summer is going too quickly.  Other than being hot, it hardly counts as a Summer.  It's been hazy, dark or rainy so much of the season.  This fall isn't going to be fun.   Then again, these days what is?

There's so much I'm anxious about & nothing I'm looking forward to.  I'm not seeing much in upcoming movies.  Most of the things to-do aren't that great or are expensive & still not that good.  Fun seems to be going extinct, at least for me.  It's really tiring.

That's all for now, take care.  

Cya...

Cloudy Last Friday...

 

It's a cloudy morning & the lasts of June have been here since Wednesday.  No more trash trips for June.  The weather is supposed to get hot.  Maybe it'll kill some of whatever's in the air making it hard to breathe.

I didn't find much for articles this morning.  Other than shopping, we don't have a lot.  That's good, neither of us are feeling that well.  Nighttime skunk walk-bys are making their presence known.  Some nights, the stink really gets to us.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

The Lasts Of May...

 

Today is Memorial Day & the last Monday of the month.  Soon, the whole 1st of the month thing will start again.  I'm not happy with this month.  It's brighter this morning, but most of May has been overcast to stormy dark.  I'm just trying to get my head in a good place & not much seems to be cooperating.

Shopping is the only thing on the list for today.  This week will be a little busier, due to some appointments in Fort Smith.  Nothing big, just have to drive over & back.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Gloomy Final Friday...

 

The last weekend of March looks to be dark & colder.  It's gloomy this morning & it might rain.  Benefit renewals are in process.  My roomie is home from her appointment.   

I saw 2 articles (A & B) on suppressing HIV without meds.  Both pieces detailed an approach to handling HIV with antibodies & T-Cells.  This is a direction researchers have been looking at for a while.  At this moment it isn't widely viable.  This could lead to a new primary treatment of HIV & head away from  traditional medications.  

That's it for now, take care. 

Cya...

The Last February Thursday...

 

This month is wrapping up.  February is never easy for us.  It's the month things break, have to be replaced or we wind up in the hospital.  I'm glad it's nearly over.  

We have no plans for today.  We're both spent after everything this month brought our way.  Tomorrow will be the last shopping trip of the month.  Next week, the new month will begin & things will start all over again.  Hopefully, without all the breakage.

That's all, take care.

Cya...

Last January Wednesday...

 

We have a few things to handle today.  It's last trash day of the month.  Mail can finally get checked.  I almost did yesterday, but the carrier had just arrived & takes a bit for them to sort things out.  It'll be another chance to see how the roads are doing.  My roomie has an appointment tomorrow morning.  We'll probably have to take the long way.  Our normal route may still be too icy.

That's about it for this morning.  January is winding down.  Take care.

Cya...

The 2nd Day...

 

The 2nd day of 2026 has showed up grey & dismal.  It's working it's way into a light, hazy morning.  Today is the last day of my 25th year of being HIV+ & also the end of this blog's year.   I didn't accomplish much, if anything this year.   I was there when some things happened, but not much beyond that.  I have a new dentist, but I didn't have any choice in that.  No matter what I was going to have a new dentist.  I miss the old place, it was nice.  I'd been there quite a while.

Other than exist & see some movies, I haven't done much for myself.   I'm not sure what I could or would even want to do anymore.  I may have helped other  people & some cats since my diagnosis, but my life has been on a fractious pause since that day in the ER.  My physical health is somewhat better than then, but not much else.  I just stayed stressed & standby as other entities make decisions about my life.  Anything I could try, would probably cause me lose what little I do have.  I can't afford that.

Sometimes, going to the ER that day is my biggest regret.  I may be alive, but I'm not really living.  Here's hoping 2026 doesn't screw things over any worse for me or mine.  

Sorry for the bleak 2nd day.

Cya...

Only 2 Full Days Left...

 

In some ways I'm so ready for this year to be over.  Then I'm also very apprehensive about 2026.  It's not like I've got a choice, but still, the options aren't great.  It would be easier not to focus on it if the orange wasn't present.  Then again, if he wasn't here, things probably wouldn't be so bad. 

This will probably be the last shopping of the year.  Then the last run to the bank & pharmacy.  It's almost over, 2025's bags are packed & it's about out the door.  It'll head off to wherever last years go when their days run out.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

The Very Lasts of 25...

 

Since the holiday, we've been on the lasts of the year.  This is the last Saturday of 2025.   Next Wednesday will end the year & next Saturday will be the anniversary for this blog & my HIV diagnosis.  In a sense, I'm ready for this year to be over, but I don't have any reason to believe 2026 will be better.

This year has really worn me down.  There was far too much cat issues, breakage, expense, political BS...  I haven't fared well.  I haven't kentsugied myself back together.  In my case, it'd probably be done with knock-off, white glue & have pieces missing.  We're ending 25 years into the 2000s & so far, they've mostly sucked me & mine.   

I hope the rest of the year treats you well, take care.

Cya...

Busy Last Monday...

 

The next 2 days are going to be rushed.  We have appointments & errands.   We'll go shopping in a bit & then head out for my eye appointment.  Tomorrow will start earlier & last longer.  Wednesday will have some stuff on it & a friend may be over Thursday.  Friday will shopping & 1st of the month stuff.   

September was a difficult month this year.  It usually is for me, but not normally this busy.  Fall suckage is in full swing.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Last Friday Of September...

 

Since Wednesday, we've been in the lasts of the month.  We've left the time of Virgo & entered Libra.  We're going deeper into the awful 'Ber months & dark of the year.  The light is fading fast.  I really hate this.  

I have an eye appointment on Monday.  Here's hoping nothing screws up before or during.  My eyes may have changed a little but my glasses seem fine.  I'll find out then.

Heading out for shopping, so this is it for now. Take care.

Cya...

Dark August Morning...

 

There could be a lot of rain today.  It's dark & cooler.  That looks to be the trend for a while.  I hope things don't cool down too quickly, but I don't see any 90s in the forecast.  Of course that could change.   

This last bit of me being 58 isn't going to be easy.  It's going to be dark all week & I'm already dreading it.  The worst part of the year is creeping up.  I really don't have to see 59.  It's not like there'll be anything good for me.  It'll only more of the same & worse.  Birthdays should come with the option of "enough" or "I've had my fill, thank you."

My roomie is making some future plans.  They're reasonable ideas.  I hope they work well for her.  I don't have those anymore.  I haven't for a long time.  Each year, it gets harder to see the positive things with all the crap looming.

That's it for this morning, take care.

Cya...

Last July Monday...

 

It's going to be a hot ending to a hot month.  The temps & weather have been about the only things I've had to write about.   Other than some cat issues & the rare article, this has been sort of a bust month for posting.  

It'd be nice if the weather had been a little less on, but things could've been worse.  They have been in other parts.  We didn't get the higher temps or the massive flooding.  There's that at least.

It's a shopping day.  We'll do that & check the mail.  The it'll be back inside.  Take care.

Cya...

Last Week Of July....

 

July is closing down.  It's supposed to be hot.   That should ease up a little as we enter August.  It's weird to think of August as the cooler month.  We'll see.  There's an appointment later in the week.   Other than that, it's just shopping & letting July wrap up.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Sticky Sunday...

 

The final Sunday of June is going to be hot & muggy.  It's already very warm & humid.  Of course the season couldn't ease into into things.  It went from dark & awful to sweltering.  Like most things around here, the weather sucks.  

There isn't much going on today & I hope it stays that way.  This week will be the 1st of the month & a holiday.  That'll make things cramped.  

That's it for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Last Of June...

 

June is almost over.  This is the last weekend.  It wasn't the worst month, but it had a lot of unwanted surprises.   The worst of which was Machen no longer being here.  It's the 3rd day since he made his last trip to the vet.  Like so many things, he was beyond my ability to help any more than I did.  

For as long as I can remember things have rushed through my life without regard for me.  So much of it was out of my control.  I thought that would lessen as I got older.  I was wrong, the chaos increased & I have even less ability to influence any of it. I'm tired of being the rock in the sea of chaos.   It's exhausting.

Enjoy your last bit of June.   Take care.

Cya...

Machen, Who's Machen...

 

Machen came into our lives on November 21, 2023.  He'd been left outside our home & was soon part of our life.  I've posted about him some here.  He wasn't the smartest cat.  I don't think he ever learned his name.  He was easily our most obstinate cat.   He had a lot of qualities I was hoping he'd grow out of.  That won't get to happen.  

I feel like I should've noticed more, but I didn't.  Several months before, he stopped playing as much.  I put it up to him leaving kittenhood.  Then got weird about where his food was.  He wasn't as social.  Lately he'd developed a lot bathroom issues & just seemed off.   We called the vet & made an appointment.

The vet thinks he was most likely inbred & suffering from neurological issues that would only have gotten worse.  She asked about seizures & said if he hadn't them, it was just a matter of time.  She noted his eyesight was going.   He'd had a lot of small illnesses in his short life & a serious incident that we took him to the vet for last September.   Considering all this, the vet thought it best for Machen to be put down.   When she tried to administer the final meds she couldn't find the kidney on the left side.  He may have missing a kidney & that would've been more issues sooner than later.

When it happened, Machen exhaled a final breath & was gone.  I know this was for the best, but I hate this.  He wasn't even 2 yet.  He would've been 2 on October 11, 2025.   This was the best option, but it still sucks.

Machen you will be missed.  You were loved.  May your next life be joyous & secure.  I'm so sorry if we could've done more & didn't know to.  Best journeys my grey & white cat named Machen.  May you get a name you can learn.

The 1st pic is from a day or so after he got here.  Here are his final photos.  He was only in our 583 days, just a little over 19 months.   He made quite the impact.  I was the 1st person in our home to hold him on 11/21/23 & I was the last person to hold him on 06/25/25.  I'm glad I was there for you as much as I could be.

Leaving the vet's office with an empty carrier is the worst thing about having a pet.

PS - Please be kind to strays & ferals.  They didn't ask for that life.  People did that & only people can help reduce the numbers of in-need animals.  Whether a stray is 4 legged or 2, if you can't be kind at least don't do them any harm.

Last Wednesday In June...

 

This should've been a normal midweek for us.  The trash would go out & we'd run a couple of errands.  I still need to go by the pharmacy & check the mail, but there's been an addition.   The boy cat has to go to the vet.  It's not good.  I might know more later.  For now, I have to get around.  His appointment is soon.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

At Least It's Sunny...

 

There isn't much going on as this last Friday of May.  It's actually sunny this morning, which is a change.  The next few days are supposed to be light then the storms will roll back into the area.  

There isn't much on our to-do list today.  It'll be end of the week shopping & a few errands.  That's about it.  

Take care.

Cya...