Check & Done...

 

The 1st of the month stuff is handled.  Our list is clear until the gas bill.  The other stuff hasn't come due yet.   We've done what can be done for now.  

That's my life now, routine items getting crossed off lists until the next cycle.  If it's not bills, it's medical stuff; doctor appointments, dental, eyes, meds, etc...  When it's not that, it's some crap show because something weird or bad happened & it'll probably cost a lot to get it fixed.  If not cash, then a lot of drama & stress. 

There hasn't been much for me to look forward.  I try to find things but they never come to fruition or just fizzle.  There's movies & comics I'll read look at just to have something to do.  But, they're just diversions & not something I'm really excited about.

It's to the point, if my phone rings it's either a wrong number, spam, medical crap or worse news.   I try to stay in the now.   I can't find things to look forward to & looking back just makes me sad.  I won't tell you that any point in my life was great.  But, there were points when I was less scared & stress.  There were points in my past, that even as bad as things could get, I still had things that I was looking forward to.  I could still really laugh, find bits of joy & sometime even a little hope.  

I think that's all gone.   Like the hummers & bunnies, that's just another memory.  I finally saw a dragon a few days back.  It kept circling me like it wanted to be seen.  It was black with black wings with white bands near the wingtips.   It made me smile for a bit, maybe not every little thing is gone.

Cya...

Happy Halloween & Goodbye October...

 

Just 4 things.

1st & foremost.  Happy Halloween everyone.  I hope the day is bountiful for you.  Whether you lean towards All Hallow's Eve or Samhain, may the holiday be rewarding.

2nd, Goodbye October, you weren't fun.

3rd, I met with my new medical provider & everything seems settled.  I hope the drama over this matter is done.  Now, I just have notify my specialist.

4th, It's frigid.  I dislike anything under the 60s.  I hate anything under the 40's.  We were in the 20's last night, so I wasn't warm or happy.

That's all for now take.

Cya...

July...

 

July is here & oh yeah, yippie.  I'm not thrilled about this.  It's just getting hotter.   The grass is still here.  The bugs are still here.  Precious few of the things I normally look forward during this season are  happening.

A TV show, we normally look forward to, crapped out.  I've only seen 1 dragonfly & no hummingbirds.  Some of the flowers barely bloomed & others still haven't.    Everything is taking from the tank, but very little is putting anything back.

Not that long ago, there were things I looked forward to in every season.  Seasonal things, new media, holidays...   Now, those are mostly gone.  I haven't really looked to a movie in a while & the last film  turned out to be a bust.

With my lack of attachment & the way things are in the world, I can't care about much of anything.  Let it burn.  Everything would probably be better off in the long run. 

Depressing.  So, hello July.  You're  already messing with my schedule.  Your damn Monday holiday will screw up the mail like the last 2 Monday holidays.   But the 4th is at the beginning, so it really throws things off.  Thanks July,  already not  happy with you.

Cya...

Serious Gloomtasm...

 

It's dark, gloomy & raining.   Not the kind of morning I wanted to wake up to, but here it is.  There were no useful articles this morning.  

I signed up for a notification from the health department concerning the COVID vaccination.   I'm  in Phase 2.  They're still handling the 1st phase.  I have no idea how long it will be before I hear something.  Then, I'm not sure what I'll have to do to get the vaccination.  I've  done what I can for now.  Sometimes that's all you can.

Take care.

Cya...

2019...

It's the 1st of January.  Hello 2019, let's try to kind & get along. Millie Cat has been with us a year now. She'll be 3 in April.  If her previous person was right.  She still very much acts like a kitten.   I hoping for the best this year.  

Things that need to happen so far this month:

• Handle monthly bills
• Have the van's brakes looked at
• Clear out collected boxes & old paperwork
• Doctor's appointment on the 16th
• Possibly find a new doctor
• Place med order
• Pay AAA

So far, that seems to be it.  I'm sure more will show.  Hopefully, none of that will prove too difficult.

I wish the best for everyone this year.

Cya...

4 Things...

1st, the weather is seriously weird for this time of year.  It's nearly 90 & very humid.    I was usually worried about freezing on Halloween night.  I don't think these kids will have to worry about that. 

2nd, the house drama continues.  The problem at hand seems to be beyond our capability of resolving for any significant period of time.  The item in question just needs replacing.  Off we go shopping this morning.

3rd, this article details a better understanding of the HIV virus.  Not the idea of having it, but the virus, itself.  They're studying a specific, small molecule.  While this molecule doesn't prevent the virus from existing.  It does allow it to mature & become contagious.  Interesting.

4th, this piece details who South African doctors transplanted part of an HIV+ mother's liver into her HIV- child to save it's life. (Not trying to be overly gender neutral, they just didn'tidentify the sex of the child.)    This was far from ideal, but it was intentional.  With a lack of viable donations, the choice was this or death.  A proverbial rock & hard place type of sitaution. 

Take care.  I hope today goes well. We need it.

Cya...

August 1st...

It's the 1st August & it's raining.  Not heavy, but enough to cool us down some.  It's actually nice for the moment.  Things happening today.

• A mockingbird has decreed I'm good for squawking at via the window
• The electric bill mess-up is still ongoing
• My car insurance got their payment
• I had blood drawn for my telemedicine appointment in 2 weeks
• I got some iffy doughnuts on the way home
• I took a shower

That's about it for today. BTW, Hello August.

Cya...

OK, No More Please...

• The gas is still out
• The plumber won't be here until tomorrow
• I slept for crap
• We went shopping
• Walmart sucked
• Cold showers & microwave meal are in order
• The white car is no longer mine
• The van is now mine
• The roomie has a newer Buick
• In process of reproting the car change to Social Service People
• I'm tired, spent & anxious

More tomorrow, maybe, depending on how the plumber thing goes.

Cya...

4 Things...

Shocker, I still hate cold weather & what it does to my health. This is probably never going to change.  At least, it's warmer than yesterday.

Again, my pharmacy screwed up my order & I can't start my new med yet.  I was supposed to start my new thyroid med today.  That won't happen until Thursday most likely,   Thanks CVS.

Many are rightfully saddened by the passing of David Bowie.  It's very strange to know a man who's music who shaped your world won't be making anymore music.   This time the changes are sad.

This brings us to HIV & pregnancy.  I'm very happy with the advancements medicine has made in insuring the safe delivery of babies to mothers who are +.  That said, I find those discordant couples (1+ & 1 not) who are purposely trying to conceive to be indulgent, ego driven & borderline, criminally negligent.  Yes, I said that.  

Under the best of circumstances, with all precautions taken, there is still always a risk of transmitting HIV.   The risk may be minimal, but it's there.  In this case of purposely trying to become pregnant while 1 partner is +, the chance is significantly higher.  These people aren't only risking the other partner's health, but possibly that of the infant they so desire.

This is ridiculous.  It's dangerous.  It's egotistical,  Adopt or do without.  Don't risk creating a life that will start out +.  I might very have killed someone if I was born + & found out the only reason why was because my spoiled parents just had to have a baby of their very own.  This decision will never be about anything else than self-serving, narcissistic greed.

Rant's over.  Go away cold weather.  Get with it pharmacy.  Best journeys to Mr. Bowie.  & get over yourselves needy people.

Cya...

10 Things Lists...

I came across a 10 things list today.  This 1 was the top things people living with HIV hate to hear.    You see these all the time.  The came in every flavor & I generally hate them all.

People are people & every situation they encounter or endure varies among them.   I read the stupid list of 10 thing people with HIV hate to hear.   As usual, I found the list over generalized,  misinformed & having no methodological system behind it.  These things are just bloggers crap list.

A point it made was, we no longer have drug cocktails & modern medications have few side effects.   Total BS on both points.  Just because you change the term doesn't mean we don't still have drug cocktails.  If so, what the hell is it I take every day?   No side effects?  If this person got by with no side effects then they were 1 seriously lucky SOB.   I constantly deal with issues from my meds & I've been on mine for over a decade.

My point here isn't to bash list makers.    Really, it isn't.  My point here is to get people to understand these lists are some bloggers BS attempts to look intelligent & witty.    Don't freak out if you read 1 of these lists & its completely alien to what you've experienced.  Your experience with HIV will be just that, yours.  You may share many similarities with other's experiences & you may have many differences.  That's life, especially life with HIV.

Cya...

Top 25...

This article lists the top 25 US cities with high HIV/AIDS rates.    I find this list expected & frightening.  A lot of the areas I already knew about.    Then I looked again & got a surprise.  My little, nowhere town is within  a 500 radius (+/- a little) of 6 of these cities.   

6 out of 25, that's almost a 25%.   My area is on or near some of the biggest roadways crossing the nation.   There are a lot of people from other places that pass through this region.   A lot of people probably from these top 25 cities.   Many of which probably spent some time here & contributed to the HIV levels in our area.

If these are the top 25 & I'm that near 6 of them, how many of the top 50 am I near?   This list doesn't take into account small towns & communities considered too small for these agencies to count.   Some of those little towns could have higher rates than any of these cities.  Having sex there would be like playing Russian Roulette.  

A lot of people still think they love in places too removed to be in any danger from HIV.  That was probably never the case.  People travel all the time & bring their baggage with them.   I hope this list puts things in perspective for some people.  Nowhere is safe from HIV.

Cya...

To The Points...

We have things to do today...

1. Go to mail box place
2. Go to Walmart
3. Possibly go to the other grocery if needed
4. Drive to Fort Smith
5. Take roomie to optometrist appointment
6. Possibly hit the better Walmart in Fort Smith
7. Probably get something to eat over there
8. Drive home

All the while it dropped 20 degrees from yesterday & its wet.  There's a chance of rain.    I hope not, the van hates rain.  We've got things to do, so this is getting cut short.

Cya...

Things About Today...

1. It's the 2nd Monday of October
2. We went shopping
3. It's drizzling
4. It's chilling off again
5. This weather is tiresome & dreary
6. The cats are even narcoleptic than normal
7. There's some good TV on tonight, Yeah!
8. The rain stopped the neighbor's table saw for a brief moment
9. We were expecting guy who mows our lawn
10. Due to a sale, I have an abundance of potatoes

That's about how interesting my life is right now.  I'm not complaining.  All 10 of those things could be far worse than are or something downright nasty.

We got some unpleasant news today.  Some of our monthly $ will be cut by about $20 a month.  That wasn't fun, but it was expected.  They think the Social Security COLA for us will be about $10 a month.  After all the rearranging with the State & such that will probably be more like $5.  

Again things could be worse.  They could've cut us more than $20 & not be giving us a COLA at all.  I'm doing my best to stay on the bright side of things here.  That isn't an easy thing for me.

I hope everyone's week is off to a good start.

Cya...

Nearly Forgot...

I about didn't get this in today.  We ran to Fort Smith & blogger was being a real pain earlier.  I didn't even remember to do a post until well past 9 PM.  

Things going on:

• Saw Despicable Me 2 & had a good time
• Drive to Fort Smith, less fun than the movie
• Cashed checks & paid bills for the month
• Hating on people & their fireworks, I'm so in the spirit
• Loving the American Baking Competition
• Hating Big Brother & it's amazing bigot show
• Got trash out
• Have no plans for tomorrow

That about wraps it up.  

Cya...

Catch Up...

The List:

The van seems to running for now (fingers crossed & stars wished upon)

Today is National HIV Testing Day, so get tested if you haven't

It's finally getting hot here, it might hit 100 F today

To possibly get through June in Oklahoma with no or just 1 day above 100 is astounding

Went to see World War Z, it was OK, but not worth the 3D charge

The heat is having an impact on sleep here

The cats are not happy with the return of the heat

The great flea war is reigniting with small skirmishes

Have to pick roomie from Fort Smith today

I think that's about it

Cya...

Self...

I am undertaking a new blog challenge.  Well, I'm altering one to suit me.  It is actually a 30 day drawing challenge.  I've altered it to fit writing, not that it was that much of an alteration.  The first days's challenge was to draw oneself.  Instead, I shall describe, myself.  

45 Points About Me Or My Life

1. I was born in northeast Oklahoma, in a town called Mudville
2. At that point, I had many relatives there
3. My grandparents owned a local grocery
4. I broke my first bone when I was two
5. I was the 1st grandchild in proximity for three years
6. I was my mother's fifth child & my father's first
7. My parents were both heavy drinkers, who fought habitually & violently
8. I've been around animals all my life
9. When I was 8, they divorced
10. I am the oldest boy & a middle child, of seven siblings
11. We have never all lived together
12. I have dozens of cousins, none of which I'm close to
13. We moved a lot
14. I had numerous schools & got used to being the new kid
15. My mother left us with others places quite frequently, by 13, my mother had abandoned us
16. Unfortunately she showed back up periodically
17. I retreated into reading & listening to old albums & 45's
18. I lived on my own for over half my teen years
19. I've worked just about everything job you can in fast food
20. I liked the music scene of the 80's
21. I lived a month in Salt Lake with my father when I was 16
22. I went to a lot of concerts
23. I attended 3 colleges/universities
24. I used college as a place to escape
25. My grandparents forfeited on paying for my college
26. I started out a business major, got an AA in humanties
27. I have minors in English & Anthropology, a major in Sociology
28. I have graduate degrees in Sociology & Education
29. I have had very little contact with my family past 1986
30. I became a club person, for years I was there nightly
31. I am gay
32. I am white of  Native American descent
33. I can say a handful of words in Cherokee
34. I've lost contact with almost everyone I knew in college
35. I moved to where I live to help a friend, same said friend later bailed & here I still am
36. About 7 years ago my father made contact
37. He lives in Texas, we talk by phone, I won't ever trust him with anything inportant
38. My mother passed when I was 44
39. I was relieved at the news of her passing, that chaos was dead
40. I'm not a fan of extreme weather
41. I have cats
42. I live with a room mate
43. I am on disability
44. I am HIV +
45. I am a blogger

Those are 45 things about me.  Care to make your own list?

Cya

Adjusting...

It takes a while but once the weather settles down I can usually get used it.  I'm starting to adjust to the cold weather & it isn't nearly as bothersome as it was a week ago, even though it's actually colder.  I doubt I'll ever be a big fan of cold weather, but after this Summer, the cooler weather is a relief.

Colder weather means several things for me:

• Having to keep the house as winterized as possible
• Leaving the faucets dripping at night
• Making sure there's unfrozen  water for the outdoor cats
• Leaving bedding for the outdoor cats
• Celebrating the diminished flea/bug population
• Fighting off any rodent invasions
• Digging out & piling on the blanket/afghan arsenal
• Adjusting to cats lounging/sleeping on/with you
• Back to drinking hot tea

Those are just some of the adjustments that come with the colder weather.   Hope you all are adjusting to the chill.

Cya

Accomplishments...

I know I've said this before, but I feel it is very important to acknowledge one's accomplishments, especially if no else is going to do it for you.  It is imperative to our mental well being that we know that we are capable of preforming tasks & achieving goals we've set for ourselves.  

In my opinion, recognizing the little accomplishments is as important, if not more so, than the mammoth milestones.  It is very easy to get down on yourself.  But if you can stop & say,  "Hey, maybe I'm not the best at this or that, but I did accomplish A, B & C today, so I am not worthless."

Today is back to Trash Day Eve.  It is a fairly busy day for us. There is: 

1. Trash to be taken out.  
2. Dishes to be done.  
3. Laundry to washed
4. Meals to be cooked
5. Errands that need to be ran
6. Appointments for my roomie
7. Deal with other household chores.

Those are just some of the things we usually wind up doing on Wednesdays.   My roomie was remarkably  productive this morning.  Before her 10:00 appointment she managed to get herself around &:

1. Hit the mail box place
2. Go by the bank
3. Go by her doctor's for a prescription
4. Go by the medical supply place
5. Pay the car insurance

Those are just the things that I am aware of that she did.  All those things need to be acknowledged as something she did.  She is capable of doing these things.  I think knowing these things, makes life a little easier on us.  

Besides taking the time to smell the proverbial roses, why not take time to take stock of all you've accomplished in your life recently, big & small.

Cya

Today...

1. I woke up
2. I got myself around
3. I petted cats
4. I made breakfast
5. I cleaned up after &  fed the cats
6. I watched Cook's Country
7. I started laundry
8. I talked to my roomie
9. I've surfed the web
10. I did dishes

There are ten things I did today before noon.  I wasn't a lot, but it was a fair enough way to a Saturday morning.

Cya

Wednesday, Again...

Today is a somewhat active day.  I had a telemedicine appointment & it went very well.  I am trying to catch up on TV for the week, that I am already behind on watching.  The trash is now outside waiting for the trash-men.  I'll shower & fix food.

The cats are not all that happy with the weather.  It's getting nippy & is fairly windy out.  They have yet to grow in their full winter coat.  They are having to declare truces& sleep by each other for warmth.  I finally shut the windows & I am already tired of the noise this wind is making.

So, I am caught up on my doctor's appointments, got a flu shot & I am catching up on everything else.

Cya