Had Already...

 

Wasn't going to post again this morning.  This Summer has been hard for me.  We're just now having mostly bright days without so much haze.  Too bad the temps are cranked & the days are getting shorter.

There used to be things that kept me going during the season.  We'd have finches & other little song birds.  There was the occasional, "Oh, you're not a cat", groundhog.   But mostly there were lots of butterflies, big moths, dragonflies & hummingbirds.   

I don't see those much anymore.  I don't get to smile because I looked out & saw dragons darting or hummers buzzing about.   For years, I've barely seen hummers & then only on their way back south.  I've only seen a couple of dragons in the distance.  

This morning, I saw my 1st hummer of the year, probably the only hummer of the season.  He's heading south.  He's not full grown, but enough to flit about on his own.  Maybe things knew what a mess I was & let me have a little peep into what used to make me smile.  It's almost harder, knowing I probably won't see him again & may not see any at all next year.  Is it really worth still being here?

Take care.

Cya...

Not The Same...

Since COVID, we've been slowly trying to rebuild our lives outside of the house.   It's not been easy.  The pandemic lasted forever & COVID is still here.  Past that, we've had our own issues to contend with, but we are trying.  We keep hitting snags in the process.  

Even before the pandemic a lot of places we frequented were either going out or changing to the point we no longer liked them.  A lot of businesses never picked back up after COVID.  We've tried some other places, but so far they're not the greatest fit.  

A serious issue concerns pricing & quality.  We hit a place yesterday for something to bring home.  We used to go there fairly often, it was on the way out.  The last time we tried to go it was closed.  The time before we ordered 2 dinners & left paying just under $18 & that was an uptick on price.  This time, we'd just eaten & this was going to something smaller for midday before dinner.   We got 1 dinner & left.   That single dinner was $13+.  That's a 50% markup on price.   To make matters worse, it wasn't the same quality as before & the portions were about a third smaller.   In the end, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't worth the cost.  So another place off the list, next.

I get inflation hit, but seriously $7+ for a basic Hardees burger is not reasonable.   If restaurants keep upping their prices while downgrading size & quality, they can't be surprised when people walk away.   A lot of us just can't afford those costs.  Especially not when the quality is just so-so.

I guess we'll keep looking for the next thing.  Still, we are trying to get back out there.  It's just not been as smooth as we'd liked.

Take care.

Cya...

Next Trash Day...

 

Today is a regular trash day, next week isn't.    Next Wednesday morning I'll have a telemedicine  appointment.  Of course, it's also my birthday.  Kind of fitting it's on trash day.   I can take this dumpster fire of a year to the curb.  

i used to be nicer, that got burned out.  When you hit some of the upper birthdays, you ask yourself things.   Like, was  it worth  it?  The answer for me until the late 90s was, I think it mostly was.  But every year  after that, it's slipped into the no & hell no zone.  

I may have  helped some people & animals.  I may have had some fun & been a good diversion for some people.  But I got far too little out of it.  Who's responsible for where I'm at now?  I am.   But I didn't  set this stage.  Nor was I responsible for all the crap  & obstacles thrown my way by others.   I'm  not saying I'd had a great life.  But my life is just my attempt  to survive  the f'ery of others from the time before I was born.   That's not counting the crap that's been tossed my way by others.  Most of whom I don't even know personally.

Was my life worth it?  NO!  It wasn't & most of that was due to decisions made by adults concerning or affecting  my life since before I even existed.  I'll take blame for what I did, but I won't be held responsible for those bastards.  Even though their BS has mostly destroyed my life.  

My birthday wish isn't for sweet, niceties.  It isn't, I don't want anything this year.  It's for a lot of people to just die as quickly as possible.  I'm sick of their lame excuses for destroying everything; my life, the economy, this country's reputation, the world...  Here's my birthday wish in rhyme.

I wish I may I might,

Have this wish from candle burning bright.

Conservatives,  Anti-vaxxers  & tellers of the Trumpain lie,

Please, oh please just quickly, awfully torturously die!

As above, as  below; by earth, wind & sea,

So Mote It Be!

That's all for now.   I need  some black & red candles.    Take care.

Cya...   

 

Self-Worth...

Quite often, I hear people expressing concerns over having their sense of self-worth diminished by others.   Some act like, if the entire world doesn't agree with them or support whatever aspect of them, their sense of well being is under siege.   Whether this alleged assault on the victim's self is due to sexual orientation, gender, ethnicity, religion, etc... something remains the same.  No one has to support you or be there to keep your self-worth tip top.  That's your job, not theirs.

Yes stigma, is very real.  It's hurtful & can be harmful.   But just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't wish to associate with you, doesn't want to date you, doesn't find you sexually appealing, that doesn't mean they're attacking you. People should always have the right to associate with as they please.  It's a given, the reverse is also true.   I don't want to listen to some hyper religious, right wing, conservative rage on about how all Gay people are evil & going to hell.  Why should I have to?  I don't.  I have the right not to associate with those people.  I'm not required to be their target.  This isn't elementary & we're not playing dodgeball.

Your self-worth is just that, yours.  It's your's to cultivate, protect & explore.  No one else is required to do that for you.  Stop giving other people so much power over yourself.  You can't control others, you can only handle your own actions.   

Cya...