Disconnected...

I feel disconnected with the people around me.  Even though we're in the same place, we aren't really.  I will always be that kid swinging out synch with everyone else.  While they're up, I'm down. While they're high to the front, I'm high to the rear.  I'm almost where they are.  I can hear them, see them, but the connection is tenuous.

Right now, it's HOT!.  I get that & it's getting to me a lot.  But, it's also bright in the mornings, so I can wake up & feel like my world isn't falling apart at the edges.   I can get around & have far less anxiety to chase away.  That's all due to the light & I know it won't last.  Soon, it will darken & I'll be in that place again. I should be able to really enjoy this time while I have it.

But, I can't.  Like I said, I'm out of touch with people.  Apparently, most people want the dark & dismal.  They hate the time of year when I can finally feel better.  I can't even enjoy this, because they're feeling bad about the Summer.   They hate the light & warmth. The thing that lets me wake up, be a little happier, enjoy my flowers, Hummers & Dragons, makes them miserable.  

As hot as it is, I'm a Summer child.  The light can be overwhelming, but it's what lets me be me for a least a little while.  The rest of the time, I'm miserable.  I'm tired of thinking that I have the seasonal issues, maybe it's everyone else whose screwed up.  Maybe it's just their turn on the wheel.  This season may make it hard on me at times, but at least there are moments I feel alive.  I don't feel like that the rest of the time.  I wish I could just sleep through the rest of the year.  It's not like I'd be missed, except by the people who want me to do stuff.

For while I have these moments, I'm going to enjoy these things of Summer that make me smile.  To hell with the rest of it.  I can't change a season.

Cya...