Tired, Errands & Bad News...

We went out yesterday to run errands & it was surprisingly tiring.   When we got back, the lawn was being mowed.  We're expecting rain.  We have more errands & 1st of the month stuff to handle this morning.  But, I knew this might be my only chance to spray the weeds for a week.  I handled that in high humidity.  Now, off to go shopping.  I hope we don't have much to do this weekend.  I'm already worn out.

This article is about African countries & drug failure to overcome resistant HIV.  Some areas have seen such erratic application of medication the virus has become resistant.  Up to 10% of new cases are showing resistance.  Some countries are showing up to a 90% failure rate in some  HIV regimens.   This could be the tipping point for a new serious outbreak of the virus in Africa.  With travel, it won't stay there long.

That's all for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Going Out...

My roomie needs to acclimate to a new piece of equipment.  So, we're heading out today to give it a shot.   Not much going on around here than that.  We'll be out tomorrow as well handling the remaining bills.   Then that will be over for the month.   

That's about it for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Drifting...

At the beginning of 2018, I didn't have a lot, but I felt fairly stable in regards to some things.  I lulled myself into a sense of security about these matters.  I needed it.  There had to be somethings I could put out of my head & not worry about.  It was nice for a while, but now a lot of those of changing & possibly going away.  

In the beginning of the year, I knew where I stood in regards to my doctor, dentist, hell even my cable company.  Now all that is up in the air.  Everything is changing faster than I can adjust.

Now, I even feel adrift in the place I reside.  I never called it home for anything else than the convenience of others.  I knew it was never "my" home.  It would never be that.  Things are changing & my needs are just that, my needs.  

When I get in these situations, I like to subtract from the situation, so I can get a handle on things.  Then I can handle adding more.   Other people like to keep adding to the situation in an attempt to resolve the issues.  The whole thing is already overwhelming, adding more to it, especially things I'll have to deal with, seems way more than I can handle.

I was stupid to let myself feel there was any security in my situation.  That I wasn't still just a "me" fight against things.   The support was nice while it lasted, even if it wasn't what I thought it was.  I just need to accept those things I'd always wanted will never be.  There will never be any safe place, security or home.

Cya...

Bills Morning...

Little brief this morning.  I've got to get a shower & then go deal with some bills stuff.  It's a hazy morning.  The sunlight is weirdly filtered.  Not much else going on at the moment.  Looks like my car insurance finally processed at the bank.  Good, that worked.

I was supposed to do something yesterday that I didn't do.    I'm still thinking about doing it sometime this week.  I have until at least Thursday.  I'll see how it goes.  

Well September's here, Autumn mostly is & everything's already in a funk.  Had to talk to a neighbor this morning.  Not something I particularly enjoy.  This never  ever talk & then they won't stop.  There's no middle ground.

Take care.

Cya...

Well That's Over...

The happy birthday is over.   I doubt that will ever return.  I'm having to face somethings.  Everything in my life is making decisions to make an easier time for themselves.  The problem is that every time they do this, they're adding on to my list of things to handle or have at least have a hand in handling.  My doctor may be lightening his office load.   That means I may be out of a doctor & will have to find another.  My dentist has changed again.  I'm not sure to what extent, but that could mean me having to find another dentist.  The landlord wants to make changes to something which will leave us to handle it.

Had an argument with my roomie yesterday.  She had been editing me the last couple of months, not to raise my voice.   When these occurrences happened, I wasn't angry, but apparently I was too loud.  The 1st thing of the argument yesterday & she was screaming at me.   We didn't talk for most the day.  I told her how pissed off I was because I was left alone in the hospital when I got pneumonia.  Maybe I should've said something earlier, but how do you bring up something like that.  How do ask someone, "Why did you leave alone there?" I wouldn't have done that to her.

She's looking into somethings to help her life.  To make her mobility easier.  Great.  Except for I'll also have to adjust to all of that newness.  I'll have load & unload the device.  I'll have to slow down, carry more, push the chair, etc..

Everyone is asking to be given some slack.  But, I'm the person at the end of the rope.  There's no slack for me, just people adding more.  My roomie wrote a rant post last night & then  deleted it.  I'm fine with people ranting, even about me.  They're letting off steam.  She basically said I should just leave.  She said I should go make friends with people in better situations, like I just wanted to use them.  I don't want to use people, I just get tired of being used all the time.  She doesn't think I notice what she does do.  I notice.  I just didn't think she needed a parade for helping out around the house.  

This post might start another argument.  But, I've had to face somethings as well.  I'm alone.  If I ever have to move by myself or go in a home.  I'll never see anyone I know ever again.  I guess it's time to get used to that.

I'm glad the cats are getting closer to her.  At least I won't have to worry about them if I have to do something.  I know she didn't mean me to see that post, but I did.  I guess to her, I'm just a miserable person, her words, not mine.  Now would be a good time, just not have woken up this morning.

I've got to go.  I have stuff to do & then shopping. 

Cya...

Little Less Bright...

This morning was overcast .  We're expecting rain.  There are a couple of lingering Hummers in the back.   The shrubs are still blooming.  The birds will stay until it gets a cooler, darker & the blooms start to fall.  Then it'll be off with the little flowery heads for the season.  Trimming will probably be in late September this year.  I don't plan on much.  The bushes didn't thrive well this year.   Maybe the flower nectar didn't taste as well this year & that's why we had so few Hummers.  

I'm waiting to see what the rest of the week holds.  I know we have more bill stuff to handle.   But some other plans may or may not happen.  Seems to be a common theme these days.  

I read a newspaper blip from Seattle.   They are experiencing an HIV cluster in north Seattle.  They think it's like all the other clusters popping up.  Economically depressed people on drugs are engaging in high risk activities.  

I love how calling them activities makes it sound like something you engage in at Summer camp or on a cruise. "Oh, don't miss this evening's event.  There'll be cheap drugs, shared needles & lots of unprotected sex.  Make sure take your turn at the pinatas & cotton candy.  Don't be late..."

Take care.

Cya...

Hello September, Me & 2 New Meds...

Well it's September & the 1st day of the month is sunny.  My hopes for this month are simple; as little drama as possible, some cheerful moments, shiny mornings & some reasonable means to solve any problems that may occur.  Thanks in advance.  So, goodbye August & hello September.  

This article talks about the FDA approving 2 new HIV meds.  One a medication called Doravirine & a combo pill containing the new med & 2 older meds.  The medications are produced by Merck & not Gilead, yay!  Other options are always valuable when treating HIV.

Finally, it's my birthday.  I'm 52.  I'm OK with the number.   It's weirder to think that my sister is almost 60 & my older 2 are in their 60's.  No one in my family should've ever been that old.  People like us are supposed to die in some Faulkneresque  or Hemingwayish style death suitable for a rock song  or a tear in my beer ballad.  Better to burn out & all that.

This morning brings me sunshine, a new month, news of new medications & a birthday.  I'm fine with all this.  Take care & best wishes for the month.

Cya...