At the beginning of 2018, I didn't have a lot, but I felt fairly stable in regards to some things. I lulled myself into a sense of security about these matters. I needed it. There had to be somethings I could put out of my head & not worry about. It was nice for a while, but now a lot of those of changing & possibly going away.
In the beginning of the year, I knew where I stood in regards to my doctor, dentist, hell even my cable company. Now all that is up in the air. Everything is changing faster than I can adjust.
Now, I even feel adrift in the place I reside. I never called it home for anything else than the convenience of others. I knew it was never "my" home. It would never be that. Things are changing & my needs are just that, my needs.
When I get in these situations, I like to subtract from the situation, so I can get a handle on things. Then I can handle adding more. Other people like to keep adding to the situation in an attempt to resolve the issues. The whole thing is already overwhelming, adding more to it, especially things I'll have to deal with, seems way more than I can handle.
I was stupid to let myself feel there was any security in my situation. That I wasn't still just a "me" fight against things. The support was nice while it lasted, even if it wasn't what I thought it was. I just need to accept those things I'd always wanted will never be. There will never be any safe place, security or home.
Cya...
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