Sayings...

There are a lot of sayings people like to throw around.  When you're gay or +, they are specific sayings like, "It gets better."   I hate that.   It sounds like at some random point in a person's future a magic wand will be waved & all be better.  That never happens.  Life only gets better through a person's efforts & often not even through that.

For the past few weeks I've seen a variation of a saying floating around.  It's something about your past & not letting it make you bitter or controlling you.  Even as well intended as that statement is meant to be, it's still BS.  

Only a person who's never endured a really crappy past would say that.  Anyone who has had a horrible past could only let go of it with extreme guidance, assistance & emotional support. Still, there will always be moments of that dark past creeping in on them.   It's their past.  It's the DNA of their self.   That past shaped & molded them for better or worse.  That is how they're "hard-wired".  

I get what they mean with the statement about your past.  You should try to move past it.  But, in truth, you never really do.  You have to find a way to come to terms with as much as possible.  Notice, I didn't say make peace with it.  Many of our pasts are way beyond diplomacy.   That was your life.  It is your base.  It will always affect you & how you approach life.  Don't be ashamed of it.  Try not to hate it.  Just try to let it have its space in your past as you strive to move forward.

Cya...