Falling Stars...

When I was a kid, I escaped into music, TV & films.  I could let go & relax.  For a bit, I could forget about the crapstorm that was my life.  

Then I started noticing things.  I heard people talking about stars or seeing things on covers of scandal rags.   That star lost everything to drugs, that poor woman became a recluse, she overdosed, he shot himself, etc...

My escape into sweet nothingness, relief & adventure had been poisoned by something insidious, reality.   My eyes had been opened to the fact the people on the screen were real & they had lives with very real problems.  Obstacles, many of them would never overcome.   

I had seen behind the curtain & started really looking.  I wish I hadn't.  Because all I found surrounding these people that supplied my escape was misery & confusion.  These people's lives were no better than mine, some were drastically worse.  My retreat had been invaded & mostly squashed by life.   No wonder so many people are addicts.

There was a saying at the time that I took to heart.  "I'm dancing as fast as I can."   I've felt that way most of my life & my feet have never moved quickly enough.  The saying came from a movie & a book.  I didn't see the movie for a long time, but I instantly understood the sentiment.  The character was a maintaining addict trying to get by.  I was a kid trying to survive.  I don't think either of us did very well at our perspective pursuits.

This article is about suicide.  Since 2000, our suicide rate has gone up over 30% in the USA.   The article goes into causal factors; economics, isolation, lack of aid, etc...   People are seeing death as a better option than life & little is being done to help them see other possibilities.  

In the past decade we've had a rash of famous deaths, some accidental overdoses, others outright suicides.    The reasons were the person's & theirs alone.  Stop trying to figure them out. Stop judging them.  Stop looking at them as people with these awesome lives who have everything.  That's not how suicide works.  That may have nothing with what helped them choose to exit this life. Look at them, try to learn.  Be thankful for the memories & let them finally be at peace.  They were dancing as fast as they could for a very long time.  They were exhausted.

Cya..