The Shoe Drops...

This article talks about the reaction to Gilead's announced price point on the new 1-A-Day HIV med.  Wait for it, Da da DA!!!  Stribild soon saelling for only $28,500 annually. There's no way federally funded programs like ADAP can withstand such a price.  Especially when this company is impart responsible for other regimens like Atripla & a Truvada cocktail, that work nearly as well for much, much less.

Gilead has knocked the price point up in an attempt to amass revenue before facing an onslaught by generics in the coming years.  Gilead tried to appease people by allowing some of their formulas to be used for generic production in low-income countries.  I'm so sick of that.  This is an American company, it'd be nice  if an American firm actually gave Americans the best price. 

Add to that, most + people in the world share some traits.  They are often ethnic, poor, alienated & marginalized.  With that said, I don't see how any one, any where, is more deserving of a good price on HIV meds than any one else. The HIV rates in the Southern USA are astounding & a huge number of those people live in utter poverty.

I hope the federal programs refuse to cover this 4-in-1 & sticks to other regimens.  Gilead is trying to squeeze blood from a turnip here.  It's pharma companies like this one, that make people distrust all of them.  BTW, Gilead, if you do amass your great revenue via this drug, I hope you choke on it.

Cya...

Monsters...

You can read about it just about anywhere.  Google it & you'll find a ton articles on people for whatever reason have purposely infected others.  I'm not going to talk about laws today.  What I want to deal with is why these people do it.  You hear a lot about people not telling their partners their HIV status.  Then you get the people like dentists, acupuncturists & other professionals that purposely infect people.  I know the dentist in the Denver area may have not had the direct intent of infecting people.   However, he purposely choose to reuse syringes & other equipment for whatever reason.  That means he made a choice & that choice led to someone else being exposed to HIV.  Therefore, I consider it purposeful.

Some people say that it's not like they murdered anyone, HIV is a manageable disease.  Yes, it is manageable.  However, it comes with stigma & a lot of other issues.  HIV comes with compromised health.  It's expensive.  It can be debilitating.  In the end, it can still kill you.  These people who purposely infect others may not have shot their victims in the head.  But they still executed the lives these people had before becoming HIV +.  Being +, changes everything.  To those people who say it doesn't, I call absolute Bullshit!

IMO, these people who purposely infect others, should simply be shot.  Don't waste $ on an expensive round, a well placed .22 shot will do the job nicely.  I guess my Oklahoma is showing.  But these people are monsters.  They are indulgent, destructive creatures who forfeit their right to life the moment they purposely infect someone else.  

To this day, I wonder if I infected anyone.  If so, how many?  It took a long time for my tests to finally come back +.   Since that day, I haven't engaged in or even considered engaging in sexual activity with any one else.  I will not be the one to knowingly infect someone that way.  Sex, is a blast & I had a lot of it, but it's not worth risking someone else's life over.  

I know I haven't really addressed the why of the matter & to be honest, I just don't care why they do it.  They do it & that's all I need to know.  There's no justification for purposely infecting some with this illness.  I'm sure they'll justify it with their greed, curiosity, bigotry or some other self-absorbed reason.  It doesn't matter, these people are horrible & shouldn't be allowed near anyone else ever again.

Cya...

Fingers Crossed...

OK, it's Wednesday, which somehow has become hell-day for me over the past several weeks.  I'm almost afraid to write about it, I don't want to jinx it.  However, so far, so good.  There've been no fights with the internet provider.  Nothing seems to have broken.  There have been no necessary trips to make.  Most of the chores are taken care of & food for the day is planned out.  With any luck at all, maybe we can get through this day without any pitfalls.    Here's hoping...

Cya...

Morality...

I've got no problems with ethics, they're a necessary part of any profession, especially in the medical field.  What I've a problem with, is when people's morality gets in the way of treating illnesses or saving lives (of those people already alive).  

We'll stick with HIV here.  There have been so many moral abuses of those living with HIV & those trying to prevent the further spread of the illness.  The mere fact that HIV is so stigmatized is due to some people's heavy handed morality, with all their judging of how the other person contracted the virus.  Then there's the moralist's classification of any + person as being unclean.

Lets jump into condom usage.  We know without a doubt condoms are very successful at mitigating the spread of HIV.  However, the moralists will tell you anyone carrying condoms must be a slutty, unclean person who must be punished.  Even the police in many countries are citing the mere presence of condoms on a person as evidence the person is a prostitute.  This is happening in the USA & elsewhere.  Many cops are taking the condoms & destroying them.  The fact that having condoms can be used as evidence against you in the court is all the reason many "professionals" need to choose not to carry them at all.  These cops & officials should be charged for contributing to the spread of HIV.

Then there are the needle exchange programs.  The US Congress allowed federal $ to be spent on this in 2009, however it just recently reversed that decision.  This article discusses the huge impact needle exchange programs have had in reducing the number of new transmissions.   Now, with the reversal, many drug users will most likely return to sharing & reusing needles.  This will only add to the spread of the illness.

Those are just 3 points where moralist have made the idea of an AIDS-Free generation functionally impossible.  These people don't want this to end.  They want someone to point a finger at & shame.  These alleged "good" people want to feel better than someone else.  IMO, these moralists are evil, self-absorbed, greedy SOB's.  They would allow the spread of this virus just to make a point & to feel superior.  To all you "good people" out there, do me a favor, keep you damn morals to yourself.

Cya...

Goals...

I was never very good with goals.  Yes, I made it through a Ph.D. & I got my work in on time.  That's not the same as having goals.  For me the main goal, especially when I was still in college, was 1 thing, having a place to live.  College gave me a place to be & survive.  It was never really about the education for me.  I learned, but it was really just about existing.

The cat in the picture may have goals, but I'm pretty sure I don't.  I have short term goals, like make dinner & take a bath, but little n the way long term ones.  I'm exercising, but my goal is more of avoiding another medicine to take than a lifestyle choice.  I blog daily, but I often wonder where I'm going with it.

Some people say for better mental health, self-esteem & less stress you should have life goals.  Quite simply, I don't.  I have some hopes, but no real plans.  Hell, 12 years ago I thought I'd be dead by now.  I try not to get indulgent with the matter.  But when people talk about goals, all I can think of for myself is, "Why?"  Again, I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, but I don't really have any long term goals.  I push my way through the days, sometimes they whip by & others seem to drag on forever.  

To have goals, you need at least a modicum of control in your life.  I'm not sure enough control in my life anymore to really make any legitimate plans.  I choose to take my meds & I'm striving to avoid taking others.  I do the day-to-day tasks & try to enjoy what I can as it comes along.  But, I'm only partially in control of my health now.   I'm not in control of my income at all.  Please don't take this as trying to avoid responsibility.  I'm quite aware of the fact that I got myself here.  I suppose that helps some.

There are days when I am quite content where I'm at.  Then there are days that I resent knowing that this is it for me.  A lot of my life, I told myself, "Don't worry, it'll get better."  That wasn't true.  I knew it then & definitely do now.  In the past almost 2 decades since I left college, there have been a couple steps up, but  most often it's been a series of step leading further down.  To have goals, you need dreams.  I don't really have any of those left, at least not ones I can pitch to myself well enough to believe in.

Don't get me wrong, my life is not all that bad.  It could be far worse.  I have a good roomie, there are cats to tend to.  I'm fortunate enough to have a relatively good doctor.  I have a great mechanic when I need one.    My physical needs are met.  I just no longer have ambitions. Even if I could focus long enough to write a good novel, I couldn't get it published without facing consequences to my disability.   I'm almost afraid of getting too healthy, for fear they'll kick my off of it.  

I guess this is pseudo goal then, to find goals.  That sounds ridiculous.  Who knows, maybe I'll find something.

Cya...

Onward...

With the temperature dropping, my exercise routine is coming more in line with what it was in early July.   It's taking a while & I'm incorporating a few new exercises.  Let me tell you, getting back into sync helps in matters of feeling better as far as aches & pains go.  However, it's taking some adjusting for my digestive system to get back into the grove more physical exertion.  The extra movement is really helping things along in that department.

I read about people who exercise when they're stressed.  Hah!  I don't.  I won't exercise when I'm freaking out over something.  I don't want to associate this exertion with anything more uncomfortable than it already is.  Physical exertion does nothing for my stress levels.  It just leaves my tired & stressed.  I also don't exercise if I'm feeling physically ill.  Why not?

I'm not at my most fit & I need to focus on what I'm doing when I exercise.  The last thing I need is to lose focus & fall.  I don't want to be exercising & be thinking, "Hurry up, we have to go to the bathroom, like NOW!"  I realize my exercise routine may be tiring & sometimes make me sore.  But, I want the experience to be as pleasant as possible.  I'll never be among those people who loves to exercise.  I just won't.  At the same time, I don't want to dread the experience either.

This my exercise routine & it'll be done at my discretion via whatever methods I choose.  I'll do my best to stick with it & push for results.  I won't make my self miserable though.  I will not let this dominate my life.  I want to exercise to have a more healthy life, not a more obsessive one.

Cya...

Much Better Day...

So far, so good today.  The weather is nice & everything seems to be sailing along just fine.  It may seem like I talk about how good/bad my day has been a lot.  There's a reason for that.  1st, my day was either good or bad & I wanted/needed to comment on it.  Next, Google "HIV & stress".  You're going to find a ton of relevant, professional articles talking about the effects of stress on a person's health, especially someone with HIV.  Stress can ratchet up every bad thing in your life & diminish your resources & defenses.  

For the past few days, the stress level was high & life was aggravating.  However, today is running smooth & at least for the moment everyone has stopped being an ass.  I feel better.  I slept better.  I'm not anxious.  So, I'm acknowledging that I'm having a better day & that I know it's better for my health when I have these days.

Here's hoping everyone else is having a great day.

Cya...