The fret & dread are back. I hate the seasonal darkening. It feels like an attack on my well being. A month ago, the light lasted well past 8. Now it's sundown before 7. There's already less than 12 hours of light in the day now. I wish I could shut down when there was less than half a day's worth of sunlight.
With no fans going, I can hear every noise. Something's been waking me just before 7 AM for weeks. It's a lot of outside crap making noise I can hear now. To hell with morning birds, people, trains, etc... It's cool enough the cats feel like roughhousing all night. The cool down is changing how I sleep & how sore I am because of it.
I hate waking up. Nothing good ever comes of waking up. I know there will be BS when I wake up, I'm just not sure what that will be. What screwed up? What needs fixed? What did the cats do? Am I what's messed up?
As much as I love looking at the moon, I hate dusk & dawn. Let it be bright or dark, but the middle crap is awful. Shove the dismal somewhere I never have to deal with it again. I will never understand the people who like the dismal, overcast, cloudy, foggy, dreary days. I have serious questions concerning their character.
I wish I didn't have to sleep. That's when the defenses go down. That's when we fool ourselves with dreams. That's when stress gets creative & screws with those dreams. Most of all, if I didn't have to sleep, I wouldn't have to wake. If a person must sleep, they should have the option of never waking.
Little, if any good, ever comes from waking.
Cya...
No comments:
Post a Comment