Goodbye July...

 

This is the last day of July.  The month started off alright.  It wasn't that Summery.  It was overcast, damp & fairly mild temps.  Then the tail end got here.  It stayed hazy, while the humidity & temps cranked up.  I haven't handled this part of the month.  I'm not sleeping well & it's leading me to feel off, sick & anxious.  

Tomorrow starts August.   I have expectations for that month & they're all bad.  I think this is going to be a bad month.  It feels like a lot is coming my way & I probably won't be able to handle it.  I think this is going to be a month of loss.   It's the last month of my birth year.  It's the last month I'll be in my 50s.  

I really needed a good Summer.  Just another thing on the list I never got.  I don't need to see September.  I don't need more trips around the circle.  I would gladly just step off the ride.  I'm tired of feeling like this.  I hate knowing my life peaked decades ago & it wasn't that great.  I broke the GenX rule.  I should've died young.  I wouldn't have had to see what a disaster I became.

Goodbye July, you failed at being a good Summer month.

Cya...