I do my best not to think about things too much during the holidays. If not, I can let myself fall into a consuming nostalgia or find myself acting like lyrics from a Talking Heads' song. Days will go by on their own without me dwelling on it. Sometimes, it sneaks up on me & I'm there whether I like it or not.
There's really nothing good about the past, not even the good, fun things. Why? Because they're the past. It can't help you. It can only serve as a measuring stick to the present or your fears for the future.
If I could go back, would I? I don't know, because this was the worst carousel. It was always the same ups & downs, getting right back to where we'd try to leave in the 1st place. There are myths of sailors sailing off the edge of the world. It's a myth, but what if they did. At least they would've found something new, even if it was just dying.
Life isn't really for the fearful, that only leads to anxiety & regrets. Unfortunately, that's what I've been most of my life. For a brief bit I was a fearless little kid & then my world came crashing down. From then on, I was different, fearful & anxious. My biggest regret in this life is simply being. No one asked me to come to this crapfest, they just drug me into this quagmire. I may not believe in predestination, but I do understand where you start in the game affects your chances. For me & many life me, the die was cast into a line of seriously damaged people who had little to offer. The cards they dealt sucked. The best we could do was bluff.
So no thinking during the holidays. It will come to no good. Dance, sing, make merry, but don't think. Eat, drink & partake, but don't dwell or remember. Now is the moment, the rest is either gone or may never be.
Take care, happy holidays, no thinking.
Cya...
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