The Now...

 

The Now & I don't have a good relationship.  Even in my head, I'm rarely in the now.  I'm not even this age, It varies where, when & who I am.  Sometimes I'm a little kid, a younger teen, older teen, 20 something, but none of them are here & now.  I'm in places I've been, wanted to be or that never were.  It's not always great, but it's almost always better than the now.  I'm not always in the past, sometimes my thoughts go forward & that's even worse.  Instead of nostalgia & regret; I get angst, worry & dread.  

I don't think I should've ever been.  Or maybe, I should've been a short run concept.  But life as it is & the Now, never felt like they were meant for me.  I was trying to wear someone else's wardrobe & do their lines.   

A new year is crashing in on us & I don't anticipate good tidings, pleasant surprises or opportunities.  I'm waiting for the shoe to drop.  At this point, it's more apt to rain anvils.  Meatloaf had it right.

It was long ago and it was far away and it was so much better than it is today - Paradise By The Dashboard Lights - 1977.

That's it, take care.  The end is almost here, so wrap it up or set it free.

Cya...