I thought I had plans for Thanksgiving, turns out I was mistaken. I found out last night & it irritated me. Now, I have to decide what, if anything, I want to do for me. I'm leaning towards nothing. Yet another reason not to like holidays.
The news didn't anger or even surprise me. It was just par for the course. But it did irritate me & nerved me out a bit. Now I was back to zero. I went to bed that way & didn't sleep well.
The thing is, Saturday was a decent day for me. I felt better & things were going OK. I almost said something about it, but I didn't want to jinx it. Turns out, it happened anyway. I'm to the point of being suspicious of anything resembling good or even OK in my life. It's almost always followed by crap.
Do I think this was aimed at me? No, I don't. But, I'm still having to deal with it. I guess it doesn't matter much, I was like always, just a +1. I think I may have to be done with holidays for a while. All they ever do is bring me issues, anxiety & crappy nostalgia. I'm not in a good enough place to handle that anymore.
Of course, the stupid holiday is messing with out trash pick up. There'll be 2 weeks of trash gathered before getting to the curb. They get holidays & I get anxiousness & extra trash. Sounds about normal.
Take care.
Cya...
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