Still A Lot...

 

There's been so much on our plates for so long.  Things shift, but no space really clears.  Yesterday's net outage shouldn't have got to me as bad as it did, but I was already just skating by.  It was just another stupid thing someone or something else inflicted on us.  

This is going to be a busy week & we have so much to handle.   Spring stuff is beginning & I don't know what we'll do about that.  The problem is I can't just break for a while.  Everything else is happening at the same time.   Every time I've broken in the recent past, I've wound up in the hospital.   Those trips may have kept me going, but they only delayed what was happening at home.

2026 is wearing me out & it's only March.  The temp swings are hard.  Less than 2 weeks ago, the overnights were freezing.  It's the low 90°s for this weekend.  Add all the pollen & it's a little rough.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

No Net Again...

 

This will be a short post.  The internet is out & doing this with my phone is no fun.   The net has been out since 4 PM yesterday & they have no estimate for restoration.  

We have to go shopping & errands.  So far, the car is working.  We'll see if it holds.

I just really needed a day of no BS.

Cya...

Sneezy Morning...

 

The pollen levels have been high for weeks.  There's been a lot of sniffling, sneezing, coughing & eye watering.   This will probably be the way of things for a while.

The car is back.  We'll see if everything is order with it soon enough.  I'm trying to get a drug refill handled with the pharmacy.   Not much else is on the schedule for today.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Rushed Morning...

 

I'm trying to get around this morning.  I'll have to handle other things later.  We have to get the car to the shop to get the door fixed.  Hopefully, this will fix the battery drain issue.  I don't have much time, so this is it for now.

Take care.

Cya...

It's Gone...

 

2026 didn't start out bad for us, especially compared to 2025.  There were new things, ideas, routines, etc...  Things were clicking.  I was still dealing with the dark of the year stuff & SAD, but it was moving along.  I guess that was it; there were plans, momentum & maybe just a sliver of hope things might improve.  

I'm not sure why I let myself buy into this.  I guess I was just tired & distracted not to see the inevitable  repeat of things.  The new things starting breaking, the routines ended, plans & ideas seem to lose focus.  The momentum was gone & it was just sliding back into breakage, stress, anxiety & frustration.  

I did this to myself.  I let myself think things might change in a good way for once.  Yet again, I was wrong.  I don't need to see 60.  None of this is going to get better for me.  It might level out, but then it'll dive back down again.  People can keep their plans, ideas & maybes.  I just can't anymore.  

Cya..

Trying Morning...

 

This last while has been trying.  We're trying to get a lot of things handled.  We're trying to get info on  other things, so that they can be handled.  We're trying to juggle appointments with other appointments & issues.   It's just a lot of trying.

I've been trying to hold it together & not let SAD overwhelm me.  I've tried to tune out the damn wind. I've been trying to get sleep & not succeeding.  I've been trying not to get mired in the hopeless mess of it all.  I'm trying, but I'm not doing very well at any of it.

It's bright out this morning, but the temps dropped & the faucets had to drip all night.  The wind wailed most of the night & it's still going.  I'm so over trying.

I guess that's it for now.  

Cya...

Wind Noise...

 

It's been windy since last night & it's supposed to continue into the early morning hours Monday.  I've gotten to where I hate the noise.  It's an inconsistent sound.  The changes make it hard to tune out.  It woke me up a few times.

As a kid, I used to love the wind.  Now, it's a lot of noise that can do damage.  It's a problem I can't mitigate.  Some people say, it's a privilege to get older, BS.  I can't name much that's been better or will be better as I age.   It's just other people rationalizing.

Today is hazy & windy.  Storms are in the forecast & then the temps are supposed to frigid for a couple of days.  I didn't want any of that, but no one asked me.

That's it for take care.

Cya...

Warm, Windy & Ridden...

 

Today is sunny & warm.  It's also windy & with lots of pollen.  This will be the end of the sunny & warm for a bit.  Tomorrow is supposed to be colder & storm.  Then the forecast calls for 2 nights under freezing.  This weather switching & pollen may be normal for this time of year, but it's still rough.

There isn't much going on today,  I'll try to enjoy the sun while it's here.   Monday will start another busy week.  After that, it'll be more roller coaster weather.  That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

2nd Friday The 13th Of 2026...

 

This is the 2nd Jason Day of the year & they're back to back.  It's supposed to be sunny today.  I should be enjoying the sunlight, but I'm not.  It's supposed to get frigid this weekend & I'm too frazzled by things to really let the light relax me.   

I keep hoping things will get off the plate so I can unwind, but they don't.  Even when some do, more crap lines up.   I'm tired of trying to focus on the after this bit, instead of now.   It could be May or later before some of this is out of lives.  By then, other BS will probably present itself.

As an adult,  all I really wanted was for sometime in my life where I could feel some happiness & security.  I'm usually too anxious for that.  I don't think those things will ever happen for me.  I'm pretty sure the rest of my leave is only going to slide down into more of this crapfest.  It'd be nice to be wrong about that.

The sunlight & little blue flowers didn't bring me out of the funk this time around.  I probably won't see any hummers again this year.  Dragons are about all that's left besides lightning bugs.  I really am tired of looking over the horizon.  I'd like to be in the now, but the now sucks.  So much for living for today.

Cya...

Cooler Thursday...

 

After a warms spell, cooler temps have returned.  We may need to have faucets dripping this weekend.  I thought we were past this.  March is a weird weather month.  

Next week starts appointments again.  We could be a bit hectic for the last half of the month.  My roomie has a lot going on & benefit renewals should be sometime soon.  

There's going to be a lot to handle this Spring.  I'm not sure there's going to be much time to come down from it all.  I'm really tired of this.  So much is impacting our lives that we have very little control over.  

I wish there were more positive things to write about.  At least it's sunny this morning, even if it is cold.  I'm really over trying to look at the bright side of things.

Cya...

More & More...

 

It's been more of things I didn't want; storms, aches, allergies, low blood pressure, off sleep & BS.  I'm tired & achy.  Allergies, low blood pressure & dehydration have wrecked my head.    It was noisy this morning, another thing screwing with my sleep.  

It's been DST since Sunday & there's been precious little daylight during that time.   Even with all these bouts of rain & storms, we're still short on our rainfall average.   So far 2026 has been a little dry.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Still Adjusting...

 

The problem with this time of year is the wide swing of things.  The light levels are getting better, but dark storms are common.  It's warming & there are 80s in the forecast for highs.  Then again, the same forecasts calls for a couple of overnights just around freezing.  So, it's weird light, high pollen, storms & a 50+ temperature range.  

Those aren't easy things to adjust to.  I probably won't until things settle down some.  For now, I'm achy, tired & my morning blood pressure has been too low.  Transitions have never been my forte.  I'll get there, but for now, this sort of sucks.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Ugh Morning...

 

Several factors are threatening the ongoing fight against HIV, much of it is due to republicans.  This 1st piece's topic has been in the news for weeks.  Because of cuts to medicaid & HIV programs, many states are scaling back their assistance programs.  This cost many their coverage & meds.

Due to ICE, people, even US citizens, are avoiding places that could put them in contact with the agency.  This article covers how it's impacting treatment in some communities.

This last piece is about people with HIV in Ethiopia, especially  adolescents & young adults (AYA).  It shows that women carry a higher burden when it comes to HIV, yet the research is on them is much lower than that concerning males.  This may be about Ethiopia, but the same issue regarding women has been prevalent in many studies.  This has been an ongoing complaint against current research studies & standards.

On to my morning.  This morning is dark, wet & fairly yuck.  I'm achy & tired.  It figures the 1st several days after the time change would be miserable storm BS.  I need sunlight.   My jolty morning are ramping up & leaving a depleted mess.  SAD shouldn't last into March.  It did last year & I'm hoping this isn't a thing from now on.

Wow, 3 articles in a single post.  But they're all about how we're failing in the fight against HIV.  The weather is screwing my DST.  Plus there's still everyday crap to deal with.  So, yeah, March is being just peachy.

Take care.

Cya...

DST Has Arrived...

 

There's a lot going on in our lives & a lot of it isn't great.  I have & will post more about that, but not today.  Something I've been waiting for has happened, the time change.  I'm normally not a fan of time or seasonal changes, they're hard on me.  It'll still be rough for me, but at least there's a chance for more sunlight.   My SAD won't magically disappear, but this could help with that.  

Maybe tomorrow I'll post about gloom & doom, but not now.   There's an extra hour of light in the afternoon.  It won't start getting dark at 4 PM.  I want the dark of the year in my rearview mirror.  Maybe other things can start looking forward as well. 

That's all for now, Take care.

Cya...

It's Here...

 

There were a lot of articles out, but most were the beginnings of ongoing research.   These were brief bits about what researchers are looking at, not what they've found.  A new research technique or method is important, but not a topic for a lay article.  Maybe when these ideas are fleshed out, they'll be something.

This was not an easy morning, but nothing this week has been.  It stormed hard all night & the noise kept waking me.  It's still dark & raining, so waking is has been difficult.   It figures this would happen this week.

Tonight is the time change.  We'll have more light.  Still, I never do well with the changes in the beginning.  This last few weeks have made sure it'll be harder than it needed to be.  There are some things that could've made the ongoing processes so much easier, but instead they added hazards & roadblocks.  To all that hindered us, whatever they may be, may only the worst of things come your way.

That's it.  Articles aren't ready.  Loud storms suck.  There's been too much on the plate.  Some people need to fall in a hole & never climb out.  Dark mornings are horrible.  At least the time change is here.

Take care.

Cya...

Not So Great...

 

For the last several years, I've felt off & not as well as I should.  It's never been a solid thing I could ID & there were always other more pressing issues.  I'd tried to get rest & get through it.   The last couple of years have been harder, but again there was a lot of stuff to handle.  Since September it's been a cascade of issues & appointments.  I really hoped by now, most of this crap would be off our plate, but it isn't.  

Spring is coming & that means seasonal issues; benefit renewals, storms, yard work, etc...  Everything else is still hanging on & not getting settled.  I'm doing my best.

SAD has been a real issue this year.  I was hoping it had passed for now, it hadn't.  For a while I've woke jolty several times during the night & almost every morning.  This is exhausting & takes so much from what little I had left just to get my morning started. 

I need things to stop, to be over, at least for a little while.  No more waiting, getting things fixed, piles of unknowns or difficult idiots.  I'm not fine & I'm not even sure what my best is anymore.  I'm spent & need to be done.

A lot of times, I wish I'd never made it into adulthood.  It had nothing to offer that I needed or wanted.  I wonder what if I'd died at a midnight showing of Rocky, spinning under a disco ball at the rink or even dancing under the lights at a club.  That would've been a good ending.  Instead I'll probably die in some disgustingly substandard, abysmally predictable hellhole. 

It's dark out & supposed to storm.  The upcoming week looks to be the same.  Here comes more SAD & cortisol.   Even if the sun did shine, it wouldn't matter, too much shit is still there & not going anywhere.  Being this tired, swamped by BS & dealing with this life is more than I can handle.   I don't need a refund or exchange, I just want it all gone.

There's my murky morning rant.

Cya...

Rainy Thursday After...

 

It's been raining since yesterday & shows little sign of heading out soon.   It's dark this morning.  Even with this rain, my allergies are still acting up.  We do need the rain, but not the storms or darkness.  

There won't be much happening today.  I have no interest in going out in this mess.  Bills have been mostly handled.   The rest hasn't show up yet.

My telemed appointment went alright.  It was a bit brief, but the new doctor didn't seem comfortable with the camera.  Now, I wait for them to set the next appointment.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Cloudy Morning For Telemed...

 

It's dark this morning.  The upcoming may be stormy.  We need rain, but not storms.  It's making for bad sleeping weather.  It was muggy & unseasonably warm last night.

My telemedicine appointment is at 1 PM.  I need to get around, eat & get showered.  This should be a normal meeting to go over lab results.   

Other an errand or so, that should be it for that day.  Maybe I can get this done before any serious rain happens.  That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

More Busy Week Stuff....

 

The week is still busy.  We got some things done yesterday, but not everything went as we'd thought it would.  That's causing some workarounds to be thought out.    

It's time to handle bank runs & bills.  We both have appointments tomorrow.  All my labs finally made it to the specialist. 

I'll be happy when some issues get off our plate.  They've been lingering too long & there isn't much more we can do about them.  There's always more stuff to just waiting.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Busy Monday...

 

It's the 1st of the month & the cycle begins again.  Besides normal things, there's an appointment today.  That means getting around a little earlier.  After shopping, we'll head out to handle that.

I'm trying to get a hold of my specialist & make sure all my labs arrived.  They're a pain to contact.  I have a telemed appointment Wednesday.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Hello March 2026...

 

I didn't say goodbye to February, it was a particularly unpleasant month for us.  There was so much breakage, expense & stress.  That fails to mention all the inconvenient waiting.   That month is never easy on us, maybe next year can be a little less craptastic.

Hello March, surely you can do better.  It's a very low bar.   We both have appointments this month.  There's still some waiting going on.  Still, we've done what we can.

February barely made it's rainfall average, January didn't, we're at least 0.5" short.  I hope March can make up for it without flooding.  So far 2026 isn't getting a good review.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...