From 1 End To The Other...

 

It's still freezing here.  We'll be lucky to get over 20° today.  It won't get warmer until Tuesday.  There was more snow/sleet.  Some sites say as little 1"+ to just over 3".  It's hard to tell with the drift, but I'm think there was about 2" on the van.  That'd make about 6"+ for us.  I tried to clear the porch & van.  The van went alright, even though there's already a dusting on it again.  The back porch is going to have melt some.

There were 2 incidents this morning for the blog.  Occasionally, I get commentary.  Unfortunately most are long-winded pitches & testimonials about how a "doctor" provided them with traditional African medicine that worked miracles.  Now, they're no longer burdened with HIV.  Guess, what this "doctor" can do the same for others, just follow the link.  I always delete these posts.  Those links will only to frustration & harm.  If there was a miracle cure, some pharma company would've already snatched it up.

The other issue happens with articles.  I find pieces that might've been helpful, but they're written at such a level, even I'm having to resort to a dictionary & Wikipedia.  They're fine for professionals, but not lay people.  I saw a piece over HIV treatment & cognitive issue prevention & another over using modified cells to fight the virus.  Both may have useful, if the authors had aimed the pieces are at broader audience.  

Freezing temps, snow, hoax commentary & over written articles made up my morning.  

Take care.

Cya...

Snow's Here...

 

It's not going to be above freezing until Tuesday.   The snow began last night & there's supposed to be more coming.  Snow isn't easy to measure.  It depends on the kind of snow, where it fell & if it's a drift.  There's been postings of 3.25" - 7"+ for my area.  Both or anything in between could be right.  Where they measured matters.   I cleared the porch & the van's windows off.   There are parts barely covered & some deep patches.  I'd say the average was a little of 4".

It's cold & my hands are hating typing.   This is it for this post.  Take care.

Cya...

Just Before...

 

The weather is supposed to get bad soon.  From this evening to Tuesday could be under freezing.  Thats mean faucets will be running & the stoves will be on.  This won't be fun.   We could anywhere from scant to blizzard.  I'd like nothing, but I doubt that will happen.  This time of year brings little good for me.  

We'll do what we can.  The house will be as ready as it can be.  Shopping will get handled today & possibly not on Monday.  It'll depend on how bad things get.  It may be Tuesday before I can hit the stores again.  

Oh well, here we go.  I'll get showered & then we'll go shop.  Take care.

Cya...

Last Warmish Day...

 

It's supposed to be seasonally warm today.  Then it's supposed to nosedive until the start of next week.  We're supposed to get below 0°.  No one needed that.  It certainly wasn't wanted in this house.

Articles were limited again this morning.  I'm not surprised.  Attentions are focused on the weather, Florida's ADAP BS & the orange asshat.

That's about it for this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

Not So Great...

 

Winter is getting to me; I'm cold, achy & anxious.  This week hasn't been easy so far & it's going to get worse.  Sunday night the internet went out.  It was back on by the morning.  But Monday morning, I was dealing aches, nosebleeds & then the car had an issue.  Tuesday's appointment started early & lasted throughout the day.  We didn't have everything wrapped up until around 4 PM.  This morning I woke to no internet again.  Optimum won't even give time estimates any more.  There's supposed to be bad weather all weekend.  I'm just exhausted already.

There was nothing going on last night, but I still felt anxious.  My body felt like it was vibrating, even though I was OK.  I'm tired of everything being a challenge or problem.  

There are some improvements happening for my roomie.  There are plans.  I should be happy, but everything these days makes me anxious.  These are good things & need to happen.  I'm just worried about the process, fall-out & possible disasters.  

I haven't been in a good place for a long time.  I don't see that happening anytime soon.  I'm on edge.  Too much could screw up or change badly.  The worse thing is, so little of these things are in our control.

Life shouldn't be like this & I realize so many people have it a lost worse than I do.  If I was them, I really think, I'd already checked out of life.  None of this is worth being this constantly anxious & distressed.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Early Outing...

 

There's less an hour before we have to be out of here.  We'll be in & out a lot today.  It's freezing & will be for a bit.  This upcoming weekend could be seriously cold & possibly snow.  I hope most of that doesn't happen.  

The new car had it's 1st hiccup.  It wouldn't start yesterday.  They said it was the battery, which has been replaced.  I hope that's it.  I can't deal with more car crap.

That's it for, have to get around.

Cya...

Another Busy Week Begins...

 

It's still cold, but better than yesterday.  I need to get cleaned & go shopping.  After that, we'll have some errands.  There won't been any mail today, so that adds to tomorrow.

There's an early, long appointment tomorrow.  It'll keep us going most of the day.  This shouldn't be hard, just annoying & drawn out.  

My roomie has stuff filling up the rest of the week.  I don't particularly have much until the end of the week.  I'm glad, this weather is no friend of mine.  It's making sleep rough.  The dry air due the cold & heaters is harsh.  With the fuzz from blankets & allergens, I'm left coughing, sneezing & wheezing.  All that has lead to itchy eyes & nose bleeds.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

1st Frigid Morning....

 

This will be a short post.  It's so cold, my fingers are hating the keyboard.  It's still freezing & will be for a bit.  The last half of January remembered it was a Winter month.

There isn't much going on here today, but the week will be busy.  Most of that will fall on my roomie.  There are appointments to be kept & regular stuff to handle.  Add to that, it's a mail holiday tomorrow. 

That's it for now, it's cold & I hate it.

Cya...

Puffy Grey Morning...

 

My eyes & the clouds are puffy this morning.  It's cold, grey & bleh. It'd be nice to say something positive about this, but it's pretty lacking.   The sky's a solid blot of grey clouds blotting out the light.   It's taking forever to get above freezing.  With all of this, there should be no allergens bombarding people, but there are.  Tonight's supposed to be our coldest yet this year.

Fortunately, I don't have anything outside to handle today.   I'll just shower, eat & make what I can of this morning.  That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Mid Friday...

 

This is the midpoint of January.  There shouldn't be much going on today besides shopping & some errands.  It hasn't been a pleasant morning.   I wasn't sure if I'd have internet this morning.  It dropped out late last night.  The weather is being a pill.  It's stayed warm enough for some of the highest winter allergen level this state has had & it's been very windy.  With little rain & the winds, it's been a fire hazard.  Now the temps are dropping again & clouds are blocking most of the light.   

I'm coughing, sneezing & dealing with watery, itchy eyes.  No, this isn't a great morning.   Maybe, the day will improve.  That's all for now.

Take care.

Cya...

Faux Clutter...

 

There are a lot of "not" or faux articles out there.  They aren't recap or rehash.  They aren't false.  They just aren't.  They're unnecessary filler pieces posing as not only the real thing, but as promising pieces.  There's a piece with a provocative title & when you look at there's a lot fancy words, possibly graphics, that say nothing.

I saw a piece this morning promising an article over the best med regimen for people with advanced HIV.  I expected some comparisons, some reviews, some reasoning, but got none of that.  The piece touted the most miniscule point that a certain medication type was superior & should be the 1st line of drugs of chosen to for a patient.  The information was old, debatable & bound to change as new meds develop.  There wasn't a list of meds for people to research.  There were no reasons given for these choices so patients might pursue new avenues.

There was nothing that hadn't already been known.  This piece & those like it are worse than the rehash & recap.  They promise new information & possibilities, when they're just hollow.  It'd be bad enough if these things were on pop-sites, but they occasionally show up on serious medical sites as well.  People don't need filler pieces.

Rant's over. Take care.

Cya...

Steps Taken Towards...

 

For a while, my roomie has made commitments to herself to try to make changes in her life.  I won't comment on those these, but I will say they were for her benefit & of her choosing.  These were things she pursued & bit by bit she made progress.  

I'd like to make a few notes here.  She choose to these pursuits & they were to improve her life & well being.  She made choices & adhered to the steps it took to get there.  She put in the effort to make these things happen.

There is something important, acknowledgement.  She will be wrapping up some parts of her journey soon.  There needs to recognition a set goal was met & possibly exceeded.  There needs to be a goodbye to these things.  The steps she took, the place she was, those who aided her & to the self that opted to begin this journey.

All of these things may have just been the beginning, but she took the steps.  She's no longer where she was, nor is she who she will become as this continues.  Acknowledgement, recognition & farewells are important.   Her life may be improving, but she's still leaving an aspect behind.  All of this deserves it's moment.

Make your goals, your plans, take your steps, keep record of your pursuit.  But never forget how & why you're heading down your path.  Take care.

Cya...

Energy Wasted...

 

Many of us waste our efforts on things we can't change, myself included.  For some, it's trying to overcome stigma.   It doesn't matter what the stigma concerns, it's always a way of "othering" people away from you or yours.   Be it race, gender, religion, skin color, size, health; none of it matters.  Stigma is in the attitudes & actions of other people & you can't change that.  Efforts have been made for decades to educate, raise awareness & reduce the stigma for people living with HIV.  It hasn't worked well.

People sometimes call it HIV-phobia.  Maybe for some it is.  I think for most, it's just the excuse they needed to belittle, attack & hate people around them.  To raise themselves up while rejecting or lessening those seen as the "other."

Most people I know have dealt with stigma, most often from things beyond their control.  Skin color, race, your parents, childhood factors; none of these were within your control.  So why take responsibility for them.

When I was younger, I let a lot of this get to me.  Luckily by the time I was diagnosed with HIV, I was too exhausted & burned out to care.  I won't say it hasn't affected me, but I can see it's about someone else & not me.  It affected where I choose a dentist.  I'm very aware people in this area would hold it against me.  I'm not claiming immunity, just a certainty this isn't really about me & there's nothing I can do about it.

I have a limited amount I can put towards anything.  I'm not putting a bit towards acknowledging some asshat trashing HIV+ people.  For your own sake, try to give people like this as little headspace as possible.  There's little you could do to really change them.  Isn't that energy better spent on yourself?

Cya...

Cold's Back...

 

It's been cooler, but it got cold again last night.  The heater was on & faucets were dripping.  It's expected. it's January.   Still doesn't mean I like it any.

We have shopping & then my roomie has some things to handle.  That's it as far as I know.  Next week will be busier again.  

It's still hard waking up in the morning.  The light's weird & the neighbors are noisy.  I end up waking too early, fall back asleep & then oversleep.   Fan's get really annoying, but they buffer a lot of noise.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Resistant...

 

HIV can develop resistance to any med.  This can be deterred by maintaining a regimen, giving the virus little chance of microevolution.  This is important & the link provided above gives more info on resistance.  Much can be found on Google as well.  

Gilead has posted about resistance to lenacapavir.  No medication is immune to resistance.  This piece details more on that.  This is an arms race between meds & HIV.  Resistance to lenacapavir is rare & might be treated with the addition of another med to the dose to further disable the virus' ability to resist. 

This is why medical research & new meds will always be needed.  Even if HIV is someday cured, other viruses will remain.  Medication & it's knowledge base must constantly evolve to keep up with current health issues.

Give these pieces a read & maintain your regimen.  Take care.

Cya...

More Zzz's

 

I have trouble waking this time of the year.  There's so little light in the morning, that I just don't wake up.  Then I've overslept & am left rushing around to get my morning handled.  It happened again this morning.

The weird net issues, seem to be handled.  I found a work around.  Shortly after, the issue resolved itself.  At least we have a way to handle things if it happens again.

That's about it this morning.  January weather is rushing back in & bringing more drear with it.   We need the rain, but not the gloom.

That's it for now, take care.

Cya... 

Weird Net Issues...

 

We're having some weird net issues, so this will be short.  I'm not sure what's causing this.  Hopefully, I can get this fixed soon.  I need to get around & go shopping.  

Take care.

Cya...

Gloomy Thursday...

 

It figures on the day there nothing for me to do, it turns dismal.  There could be storms today.  We need rain, but not worse.  There's not much to do today; trash is gone, bills are paid & meds have been picked up.   

That's about it for this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

1st Full Week...

 

It figures the 1st week of 2026 is ending on a trash day.   This is the 1st haul of garbage to the curb of the year.  It's back to our normal date.  The last 2 weeks got bumped to Saturday due to holidays.   At least we didn't have to deal with the not having trash hauled off for 3 weeks.  That would've been a mess.

There's more appointments for my roomie today.  Those might start slowing down in a week or so.  She's handling a lot right now.  

I used to worry, that if something were to happen to me, she'd have a hard time.  Not just with me not being there, but the day to day stuff.  I think she's getting to where that might not be easy on her, but she could handle it.  If not right this moment, then in the foreseeable future.  That makes things a little more secure.

That's it for now, take care.  Goodbye 1st week of 2026.

Cya...

1st Busy Tuesday...

 

It's the 1st Tuesday of 2026 & it's going to be busy.  There's an appointment & a bill in Fort Smith.  There are errands to handle when we get back; mail, pharmacy & the like.  We need to be around a little earlier than normal, so this will be brief.

Hope this 1st week of 2026 is treating everyone well.

Cya...

You For You...

 

We're that it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves.  To do what we can on our own.  To an extent that's fine, past that it's BS.  That's fine until people feel you're pushing.  By pushing, I mean, when you start advocating for yourself.  Many of us don't have anyone else to stand up & speak for us.  We have to do this for ourselves.  If not, someone may make a decision that doesn't work for or nothing will get done at all.

When your HIV+, advocacy will be necessary.  Throughout your life, you'll need to stand up for yourself.  Here are some starting points.  Be as educated about the subject as possible & that includes information about yourself.   Read, search, discuss & go over it all again.  Become the expert on you & your particular situation.  No one knows you better than you.

Be proactive when you can & stay on top of things.  Make appointments & keep them.  Have questions prepared about what you need to know.  Be ready with statements about what's going on with you & what you need.  

These things can be emotional, but you need to remain as calm.  Some people will use your emotions against you.  Communicate as precisely as possible about your situation, needs & areas you need more information about.  

Be thorough.  Follow up on our appointments, get referrals, do your regimen.  If something doesn't seem right, see about another opinion on the matter.  

The last area is harder.  If you can, build support.  There's nothing in my area, but some cities have support groups & outreach centers.  If there's nothing local, check online.  That may not fill the void you need for socializing, but there may be info you're lacking.  People there may know about meds, exams, doctors & what to expect down the road.

You're going to have bad encounters.   There will those who won't do their jobs well, people who discriminate, those that avoid you...  You can't do anything about those people.  The best you can do is avoid them if possible.  Know your rights as a client/patient & make sure they're upheld.  File complaints, as objectively as possible.

So, identify your situation & needs.   Educate yourself & try to form a plan.  Communicate your needs.  Then do it all over again until things run smoother.  There will be adjustments down the line.   Things will change for the better & worse, that's life.  Go back to the beginning & reformulate the plan again.  

Advocating can be tiresome & never ending.  But if you don't, it's possible no one will.  You deserve the best chance you can get.

Cya..

Blog New Year...

 

This is the 1st day of the blog's new year.  There are usually a lot of issues near this day; my pharmacy having issues with my meds, recovering from COVID, my father passing, bad weather, plumber issues...  It'd be nice to skip that this year.

We don't have anything planned today.  We started bill stuff yesterday & will finish most of it tomorrow.  There's are appointments this week, some errands, & my roomie will see a friend.  It'll be a busy week again.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Acknowledging Anniversaries...

 

This blog is 15 years old.  The only things I've done longer than were go to school & live with my roomie.  This blog has been a record of my time living with HIV.  I can't give it a grade, because too much of it has been dependent on things beyond my control.  The best I can do is type out the happenings of my life, reactions to articles over HIV, the chaos caused by outside forces & incidents, sometimes it's just life stuff like cats, weather & holidays...   Here's to turning 15 & heading into the next year.

This is also the anniversary of my HIV diagnosis.  A day that changed my life.  Sometimes I have serious regrets about that day.  Life has been anything but easy since then.  In some ways like meds, my health & telemed; things are better.  But the world, the US & my perspective are far worse off than they were back then.  I say I hope for things a lot.  I'm usually wanting it for other people or the cats.  I never had much hope for myself.  Ever year past my final graduation it's gone down.   There isn't much left.

My Blog is 15 & my HIV is 26 & we're still here.  Not sure that's a good thing.  There were some other happenings about this time & earlier.   Several years before my father passed in early January.  We've lost too many cats in December.  Back in early December 1999 was the last time I smoked.  That's 26 years & some change now.  I miss that sometimes.  I had something to do.

That's all for now, Happy Anniversary to my blog & my HIV.

Cya...

The 2nd Day...

 

The 2nd day of 2026 has showed up grey & dismal.  It's working it's way into a light, hazy morning.  Today is the last day of my 25th year of being HIV+ & also the end of this blog's year.   I didn't accomplish much, if anything this year.   I was there when some things happened, but not much beyond that.  I have a new dentist, but I didn't have any choice in that.  No matter what I was going to have a new dentist.  I miss the old place, it was nice.  I'd been there quite a while.

Other than exist & see some movies, I haven't done much for myself.   I'm not sure what I could or would even want to do anymore.  I may have helped other  people & some cats since my diagnosis, but my life has been on a fractious pause since that day in the ER.  My physical health is somewhat better than then, but not much else.  I just stayed stressed & standby as other entities make decisions about my life.  Anything I could try, would probably cause me lose what little I do have.  I can't afford that.

Sometimes, going to the ER that day is my biggest regret.  I may be alive, but I'm not really living.  Here's hoping 2026 doesn't screw things over any worse for me or mine.  

Sorry for the bleak 2nd day.

Cya...

2026...

 

2026 is here.  There weren't any wrappers or tags, but it came anyway.  It came in with a fanfare of gunshots & fireworks.  There were a lot of crash-booms & colorful lights.   We had a friend over for part of the night, before she headed home to her family.

I was & still am apprehensive about this year.  I'm slightly amazed that so many found 2025 a successful year for themselves.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I didn't find it much more a constant challenge.  They listed off the things they accomplished & it was a lot.  I barely managed to stay on the board.   They have lists & plans & I haven't had any of that in years.  

I can deal with accomplishing so little in so long.  But, it could have at least been fun & a lot less troubling.  Other than helping some friends & cats, I haven't done anything in a long time.  It's good those around are striving, but I think I peaked quite a while back.

Whatever your hopes or plans are for this year, I hope they go well.

Cya...