The 2nd...

This is February 2nd of & the groundhog is supposed to predict the weather.  He's usually wrong.   Mostly we're expecting to be near or slightly above normal for mid Winter temps.  

Today's date 02,02,2020 is the first palindrome date in over 900 years.   Interesting, but rather useless trivia.  Still things like that are what make the news.

I'm tired & cold.   It's bright outside & supposed to be much warmer today.  I don't think it'll matter.   I've been sick & nervous for too long.  Sometimes I feel like I'm about to shake apart.  Anxiety, SAD, post stroke issues &  real life crap are overwhelming me.  I worry that even on the brightest, warmest Summer day, part of me is going to be tired & cold.  

My roomie told me not long ago, she thought I could be alright on my own if I had to be.  I couldn't.  This is very hard now.  By myself, it'd swallow me up.   

Life feels like an ebb tide dragging me farther from shore.  I'm sort of scared, but I'm not sure I have the strength to really care.  I care about my roomie & our cats, past that, not much.  I know I can't be alone & I can't do a nursing home.  That doesn't leave many choices.  Some day I may have to face that.  I hope not.

Sorry for being so down, but it's where I'm at now.  I can pull myself back for a bit.  Then everything grabs at me & I stumble.  I think I'm out of answers, quick fixes & my lucks seems to have left me.  I hate waking up.

Cya...