Good Bye 2015...

This always feel like sort of a rip.  People talk about the year ending & poor December gets passed over again.   Both are virtually out the door  & I'm still feeling a bit weird about it this year.   Last year, I wanted 2014 gone already.  

I don't know what it is, but over the past few years, I really feel like things have changed.  Maybe not in a physical way so much, but some how.  I just don't really feel like myself much. I'm not sure who I do feel like though.  I'm not sure I like this new thing.

Maybe 2016 will be a good year, but still this time I'm anxious.  Not like I have a choice.  So, hello 2016, let's try to make this work.   Good bye 2015, you treated me fairly well & it was appreciated.  Maybe it's just the good byes I'm tired of. 

Have a safe & happy New Year's Eve...

Cya...

Treatment Adherence...

According to this article, life insurance companies are starting to insure people living with HIV again.   That's because their life expectancy is going back up closer to normal.  However, this is mostly only true of  a certain population; affluent, white males.   

There are at least 1.2 million cases of HIV in the USA.  Less than a third are being treated or maintaining a regimen.  Let the shock & awe begin.

There are numerous factors as to why a person may not adhere to their regimen.  This article refers to them as social determinants.  These affect the person's environment, health, resources & emotional/mental well being.  Some are:

• Cultural pressures & stigma
• Economic resources
• Lack of any resources; food, shelter, etc..
• Lack of support
• Being an addict
• Being in an abusive situation
• Mental illness

These things hit those living on the fringe the hardest.  The poor, some populations of color or ethnicity or just those not in a position to speak for themselves.

There's only 1 real reason to adhere to the meds & regimens,  The person wants to continue living.  For an extremely ill person with little or no resources or support, why would they want to endure that?  What are they fighting for?  Believe me, living with HIV is a fight.  Everyday can be trying in the best of circumstances.  For those in the worst situations, HIV must be utterly overwhelming.  Without support, then why should they bother?  Just to continue existing?  That could really only be said by someone whose never been in a truly awful situation.

For those that don't adhere, they are endangering their own lives & possibly those of others.  But don't shame, chide or ridicule them.  If you care so much, try to help them.  But don't open that can of worms unless you can really handle it.  Stepping into that will be a world most people will never glimpse & will wish they never had.

Cya...

3.. 2... 1...

2015 is almost over, there are just 3 days remaining.  This time last year I was ready for 2014 to be out the door.  I'm not in that place now.   This has been an odd year & I've been all over the place, but it hasn't been a bad year.  There were some upsets, but nothing insurmountable. 

The theme of the articles I've been reading the last few days has been shame.   I hasn't mattered if the article was dealing with being + or something else,: fat, sexually active, politically inactive, etc...  There's always a push for people to try to make others feel less about themselves.  It's stupid, but that's what some people do to build themselves up.  

It doesn't matter the reason, but whenever someone is trying to shame you, they're actually trying to tear you down.  Only those beneath you would try to tear you down.  Only those fearful for their own position in life would go on the attack over such matters as being +.

I finally got around to watching The Normal Heart.  It was gut wrenching.   I hate it how they tried to destroy the character Ned Weeks.   Ned was everything they needed & asked for, but couldn't handle.  The people the characters Ned & Tommy were based off were the only 1's worth mentioning in that sad group.  Their actions were what got things to happen, not those other closet cases.  If you haven't seen the play or the film, you should.

The final rain totals for my area are ranging from a conservative 9 to a high of 12".  That's a lot of rain.   A lot of roads in my area are closed.  Hopefully, the water will recede soon.

Stay dry.

Cya...

Post Storm Yuck...

The rains came in hard & lasted all day yesterday.   The totals vary where you look, but the rain was between 6 - 11".   I think 1 end of town got the low end & the far side got the high number.   It seems to be over with for now.  There's no more in the immediate forecast.  For that, I'm very happy.

This weather has left me feeling cold  & achy.   It's supposed to be under freezing every night for the next week.   More seasonal temperatures are finally here.  Maybe all the bugs will finally die off.   this weird December weather caused a flea outbreak. May they die soon.

My head is seriously fuzzy & congested.  I feel a bit flu-ish, but it's just the big weather shifts.  I hope everyone is safe & dry.

Cya...

Need A Boat...

In a little over the last 12 hours, we've had almost 6" of rain.  It's supposed to keep up like this all day & possibly through tomorrow.  We'd already passed our monthly rain averages & the ground was saturated.   The local rivers were already above their banks.  There's going to be some serious flooding.

I'm really surprised the net hasn't dropped.  It was iffy this morning.  Hopefully, it'll hold up.  Same goes for the power.  

They had forecast over 10" for the 3 day period.  At this rate we could meet those expectations.  That could be really bad.

Stay safe & dry.

Cya...

Rainy Day After...

The holidays have passed & we survived fairly well.  We had a good time yesterday.   After seeing the new Star Wars, we went to a friends for lunch.  I'm glad it's passed though.  It was a little tiring.  The holidays are okay, but I don't like the disruption they cause in everything.

I'm not going to post much today.  I'm just glad I can post.  The net blipped out earlier due to the weather.  It's likely to happen again.  We are having some serious rain.  They say the rain totals could range from 3 - 10".  That's a lot of rain in a few days.  I really hope we lean towards the low end.  We're already halfway flooded around here.  No snow for the south this year, just heavy rains, thunderstorms & tornadoes.   Yippie!

I hope your holidays went well.  Now gear up for New Years.

Cya...

Busy Christmas...

We've got things to do, shopping to do, movies to watch & people to see.  Shortly we'll be on the road.  So, no time for a long post today.  

These are my Holiday wishes for you:

• Be healthy
• Be happy
• Be safe

I hope those 3 things find you this day & for the rest of the 2015.  Take care & be kind.

Cya..

Eve...

It's Christmas Eve & my roomie's birthday.  There's been some bustle the last few days getting things around.  That probably won't change until this weekend.  

There haven't been many articles on new matters lately.  It's mostly been rehashing.  Maybe they're waiting until the holidays blow over.

I hope whatever plans you have for the holidays go well.  Be safe.

Cya...

Not Much...

Have a busy morning ahead & I'm not sure when else I'll feel like blogging.  On that note, I am feeling mostly better.   It rained a lot last night & knocked out our power.  It's back now.  We're expecting big rain totals this weekend.  I'm glad we aren't expected to do anything. 

Texas has decided to emphasize just what an amazingly, idiotic & assholish state it can again.  It has decided not only to cut medicaid funds from Planned Parenthood, but now they're also cutting the contract that allowed Planned Parenthood in Texas to handle HIV matters.

Basically anything dealing with sex in a healthy matter, this stupid state has cut.  Abstinence only is an utter failure.   But, that isn't what they really care about.  All they really care about is throwing their hateful religious beliefs in everyone's faces that don't line up with them.  Say hello to a lot more unwanted pregnancies & HIV cases.   If there weren't some decent people in that state, I'd say torch the place.  Oklahoma needs a wall between it & Texas.  

Sorry about the rant, but this is just ridiculous.

Cya..

Happy Solstice...

It's Solstice or Yule or Saturnalia.  Whichever 1 suits you, I hope you have a great time.  The longest night is here & after this the days will brighten.  So long Holly King.  

I hope your holidays are going well.  I'm starting to feel better,  Not quite normal, but getting there.  There's things to do for the rest of the week.  Mostly for my roomie, but I can do with more rest. Enjoy what's left of 2015.

Cya...

Need For More Testing....

This British article shows HIV testing rates are extremely low, even among those who know they are at a high risk of contracting the virus.   The rates were shown to be comparable to those in the United States.  What does this tell us?  There's not enough testing. 

I stand by my belief, testing should be mandatory & at regular intervals.   This isn't just for HIV.  I think it should be done for any communicable illness in the area; hepatitis, TB, other incurable STI's, etc...

I know this isn't a popular opinion.  But, without testing & treatment, illnesses such as these will only continue to spread.  The health of a community should outrank the sensitivity of an individual.  People have had decades to adjust to the idea of being tested for HIV & have simply refused to do so even for their well being, let alone that of others.

Like I said, I know my opinion isn't popular.

Cya...

Still Ill...

I still feel like crap.  I hope this passes over soon.  It's really tiresome & annoying.  I know it's just a nasty cold, but still, it needs to go.  I slept a lot the last 2 nights, but apparently I still haven't got enough to get me rested.  That's about all I can do for today.  Until tomorrow.

Cya...

PS:  I hate the way that capital "I's" look like lower case "l's" or "1's".  That last character was a number.  It looks like I titled this Still 3.

Drippy Awfulness...

I guess everything finally caught up to me & wore me down.  I feel like crap.  My nose is dripping horribly.   My sense of smell & taste are totally screwed.    My throat is raw & I'm very tired. 

At least we got yesterday's errands dealt with, at least those we remembered.  1 slipped our mind, but it'll hold until Monday. It was more tiring than it should've been.

I don't have much to post on today.  I'll leave you with this article on HIV stigma in Thailand.  I warn you, it's seriously depressing.

Cya...

Heading Out...

Have some errands to run & not a lot of time to post.  I'll write more tomorrow.   Stay safe & warm. sorry for the micro-post.

Cya...

Only A Week...

Only 7 days until Christmas Eve & in this house more importantly, my roomie's birthday.  We're  got our plans made for the holidays.  The dinner is planned.  I just need to grab a few last minute things & we're set.  

My throat is pretty roughed up this morning.  The weather took a nose dive & the humidity jumped.  After the warm days, it was a shock to the system.  I'm on my 3rd hot tea of the morning.

We've got some errands tomorrow.  We'll wind up back over in Fort Smith for an appointment,   Then back home for the weekend.  Hopefully, December & 2015 will close out without any serious drama.

Cya...

Coughs & Colds...

We're going through our 1st round of colds this season.  It's nothing serious, but it's annoying & tiresome.  I'm mainly dealing with a lot of drainage & congestion.  Colds generally aren't that big of a deal, but they wear at you.  When you're already pretty worn down, they can be a real pain.

I've talked a lot about spoons & energy to deal with things before.  But at the opposite end of the  spectrum are those things sucking up your strength.  Colds are major energy hogs.  They drain you.  Whatever spoons you had are knocked way down.  

I know this won't be the only cold of the season.  They just happen.  There isn't much you can do besides stay hydrated, treat the symptoms & rest.   There are no meds that really deal with ending the cold.  They're just 1 of things you have to suffer through.  

Cya...

Sunnier Day...

The sun's actually shining today.  That's a good thing after all that rain.  I'm still feeling off a bit physically.  The weather's been all over the place & it's killing my sinuses.

I've got some stuff to do &  then I have to head out.  My roomie's visiting her friend in Fort Smith.  I'll post more tomorrow.

Cya...

Not So Good Morning...

I'm not doing all that well this morning.   The weather has done a bit of a number on how I feel physically, but I can deal with that.   I woke up a little early this morning.  I've still not adjusted to Winter sleep patterns yet.  

I had disconcerting dreams about people who used to be important to me.  People who choose to or were purposely removed from my life.   None of these were due to flippant decisions on my part.  That part of blame, I won't accept.  

I kept wondering why these people were in my dreams.  I didn't speak to or even know where most of them were anymore.  I knew it was some kind of weird dream & what made it really strange was that it felt like they somehow knew it as well. Sometimes dreams just suck.  Not uncommon for me.

I woke up anxious & couldn't really get back to sleep.  I just kept thinking about my life.  Something I try not to do too much.  Ever since I was a kid, definitely by the time I was hitting my teens, I've been jumping from frying pan to frying pan & sometimes right into the fire.  I'm not sure how many more jumps I have. I have absolutely no idea where I'd land.  I doubt it would be a good place.

I used to have more people in my life, now I have 1.  I hate that, but I'm not sure how to fix it any more.  This situation often leaves me in a state of anxiety & what-if's.  

When I was young, I didn't think there was anyway I'd live past 30.  If I'd been right, at least I'd avoided HIV & the 2000's;  you know things like 9/11, The Tea Party & the Kardashians. 

I think I'm really out of answers & plans.  I'm just skidding by & it's not fun.  I'm really tired of being anxious, panicky & scared of what comes next. It's exhausting.

Cya...

Rain Again...

It was  warm again yesterday.  It's finally starting to cool down again with this rain.  These weather fluctuations are giving us colds.  Yippie!

We were social last night.  My yearly goal of doing something social at least once has been met.  Go me!  

The gathering went well enough.  Not as many people showed up as expected, but it was seriously raining.  Since last night we've gotten somewhere between 2.5 - 3.5".  It's still raining, so those numbers will increase.  

I hope everyone's holiday season is going well.

Cya...

Running Out Of Saturdays...

There are just 2 more Saturdays in 2015.   I think I'm ready for it to go now.  I could change my mind about that tomorrow.  Eventually, it won't matter what I think about the passing of 2015.   

I seem to be passed hating the holidays.  Mostly, I'm just fairly indifferent to them these days.  My roomie & I have our traditions & I like them.  But, they have little more in common with the actual holiday celebrations than timing.   I'm good with that.

It's really warm here today.  Yesterday we came close to 80 F.  that isn't supposed to happen in December in Oklahoma.  Things will probably cool off soon. We're expecting some big rain.  It'd be the 1st rain of the month.

We have a get together this evening.  I hope it goes well.  I've not been exactly social these days.  It could be nice, we'll see.  

Until tomorrow.

Cya....

Errands & Such...

We've got a lot to do today.  Some are here in town, the rest are in Fort Smith.  I'm not sure how long this will take or when we'll be back.  I'll post more tomorrow.

Oh, amazingly, my pharmacy actually got the delivery correct.  I'd say great for them, but it's really a great for me.  I didn't have to call them back & figure out another mess.

Cya...

Waiting For The RX...

My meds should be delivered today.  I hope I got that last mess straightened out with CVS.  Some one on their end had set a duplicate account for me & it was really screwing things up.  I've been with this pharmacy since the early 2000's, but for some reason they were telling me I was a brand new customer.  I was on the phone with them for several hours over a 2 day period trying to sort this mess out.

According to them, I'm all set.  We'll see when the delivery arrives.  I hope it's intact.  I really don't want to have to mess with them today.  They can be very tiresome.

Cya...

Countdown...

The 2016 countdown is on.

• 13 days until Winter Solstice
• 15 days to Christmas Eve
• 16 days until Christmas
• 22 days until New Years eve

3 weeks & a day is all we have left.  There's Kwanzaa in there & Hanukkah is already underway.  It really seems to have gone by quick this year.

I'm a little anxious over it this time.  I don't know why.  I don't really have the drive for resolutions this year.  I did well with them in 2014, but no so much this year.   

Right now having reasons is sort of like having spoons & I just don't have enough for all that right now.  Maybe that'll change.  It could have something to do with this thyroid issue I may have.  Or it might not.  I'll just have to wait & see.

I hope your holidays & their plans are going well.  I wish you all the best for this season.  Try to be kind to others.  Sometimes that kindness is all some people have.

Cya...

No One Deserves It...

This article discusses how Burt Reynolds while on the British panel talk show, Loose Women, stated he didn't feel sympathy for Charlie Sheen's HIV status.   That's fine.  He doesn't have to care about someone else's health.    But Burt went on to say, Sheen deserved to get HIV, because he misbehaved very badly.

What a crock.  Especially coming from someone like Burt.  He was never known for his safe play & was once accused of being + himself.  No one deserves HIV or any other disease.  Should Sheen have taken less risks & paid more heed to his behavior?  Most likely, considering he wound up HIV +.  But, that's his business, not Reynolds.

It seems Burt Reynolds was merely trying to stir the publicity pot to promote his memoir.  It seems to be a lot of name dropping & self promotion.   Burt continued to make a stink by saying how sorry he felt for Martin Sheen & even stepping into the fray between Angelina Jolie & John Voight.  Any way to get some attention.

I used to be a fan of Reynolds. I haven't seen anything of his in ages & wouldn't consider it after this.   This was not Burt's story & he shouldn't have tried to make it his own.  When I was diagnosed, a former friend did that to me.  He made my health his own personal tragedy.   A person's health is their business, not yours.  You may be affected by it, but it's their story not yours.  Have some tact.  

Cya...

Just 3 More Mondays In 2015...

This year is slipping away.  I usually don't care that much or I'm actually kind of happy about it.  This year, I'm finding it a bit odd. I'm not sure why.   This hasn't been that hard of a year in most ways, but in others, it's been very tiring.  I don't think I did much this year.  

Maybe I'm letting the season get to me again. Maybe it's the thyroid thing.  I'm not really down or even anxious.  It's just like there's this little buzz going on in the background.  Like some bad wire or an annoying fly.  It's not harming me or threatening, it's just a pestering thing.

I wish I had the finances to live some place like Hawaii.   I think I'd like the year round temps &  more even light levels.   Maybe all these seasonal things would be less bothersome.  I wouldn't miss the cold or snow.  

This hasn't been a bad season  so far.  For the most part I've done fairly well with it. I just don't really seem to care about it that much.  I'm just finding the matter sort of blah.  I guess blah is better than hating it like I used to.

Here's hoping your season goes well.

Cya...

Responsibility...

Owning up to the actions you take is a sign of being a mature, responsible person.  Allowing people to blame their actions on other things, especially inanimate things, is enabling. The 1st is a good thing, the other isn't,

There's been a trend among people, government leaders, health officials, etc.. to blame other things for people's behavior.   Let's blame drugs/alcohol, let's blame heavy metal & don't forget D&D.  All of these things have been blamed for what society deems illicit behavior.  From rock-n-roll to feminism to environmental activism;  all have been blamed for what others call bad behavior.

In the past few years Craig's List has been blamed for the spread of HIV & STD's.  Now it's dating apps, like Grindr.   Officials in some countries are saying the rise of dating apps is the reason they're seeing a rise in HIV rates among their younger men.  

It may be true, these men are using dating apps to meet up, but Grindr isn't infecting anyone with HIV.  Grindr is merely making it easier for these guys to hook up.  Their risky behavior is what's driving the HIV transmission rates.  Stop blaming things for people's behavior.

These people are old enough to use a dating app.  They could've been taught safer sex behaviors,  They could've been taught to understand the risks of unprotected sex.  But, instead of focusing on education & prevention, some would rather blame an app. 

How  reasonable & adult is that?

Cya...

Syndication Issues Continue...

Not sure what's up with Networkedblogs & I'm beginning not to care.  They've been fighting my posts for days & something about them is causing Facebook to refuse their publication.  I think Networkedblogs is trying to going purely for-pay.  They aren't worth that.  Especially not for someone like me.  I don't do enough to merit paying for syndication.  That was never my point.   I think I can work around this.  Sorry for any bumps along the way.

Cya...

Bills Friday...

We had a bit of a hurried morning.  It's the 1st of the month & that means bill time.  We try not to handle bills on the same day that we do groceries, but sometimes it can't be avoided.  Today was like that.  Things were a bit rushed.

I'm not sure what's going on between Facebook & Networkedblogs or Blogger for that matter.  They're being weird about letting my posts through.  I'll have to handle it manually if this doesn't straighten up.    The posts are done, they're just not getting onto other sites.

Time to watch the return of Top Chef.  I'll post more tomorrow. 

Cya...

We Shut Up...

This article is about  how we don't talk about HIV & AIDS anymore, not really.  When I was a teen & 20 something, back during the '80s & '90s, there was info on HIV everywhere.  It was on billboards, magazine insets, posters at school.  There were drag shows & benefits held at gay bars to give to AIDS charities helping people living with HIV.    You couldn't turn to any form of media without HIV eventually showing up in the conversation.  

They thought they were helping by getting the word out there.  But, the way they approached it, all it accomplished was desensitizing the public to the subject.   We were bombarded & overwhelmed.    HIV was a scary & highly stigmatized subject in the 90's.   All this info overload was taxing &  isolating.  Most adverts were aimed at highly, sexually active gay men & IV drug users.  Not something, a lot of people wanted to be associated with back then or now.

People got tired of hearing about it,  People always get annoyed hearing things they don't want to after a while.  No matter how relevant. I wondered if some of that wasn't intentional on some groups part.  Let's desensitize them to this & they'll get lax on the matter.  

If that was the case, it's working.  HIV is spreading due to ignorance & lack of communication.  Treatment as prevention isn't going to stop HIV. We need serious & genuine conversation.  We need to talk about the issue, not have it blasted at us by 50' billboards or unnerving magazine inserts.   We need to discuss the topic & promote awareness, risks, testing, treatment & understanding.

We need to use our words again.  Not as a judgement or a means to separate, but as a means to unite & move forward against HIV.

Cya...

Annoying Morning...

I got a weird call from a CVS pharmacy rep this morning.  She was acting weird & I was getting suspicious of the veracity of her identity.   The call dropped before I could question them further.  

I called back to my normal number & placed my order.  I was informed they hadn't received some refill orders, big surprise.   I asked about the weird phone call, they knew nothing.  I had them check my info & everything seemed in order.  

I called my doctor's office about the refills.  They said the refills had already been called in earlier, but they'd send them again.  Turns out they may have been earlier faxed to another department of CVS.  I'm with the specialty, not the regular pharmacy.  I think they got crossed.

It seems to be handled for now.  I'll know more later.  Hopefully, the order arrives complete.  They've been doing well the past few times.  I guess they're due for a screw-up.  Fingers crossed.

Cya...

Good Bye November, Hello December & World AIDS Day...

Today is World AIDS Day.   The day is meant to promote awareness of AIDS, HIV & those efforts to end the disease as well assisting those living with it,  My best wishes to this effort.  This article talks about 8 myths associated with HIV.

November is gone & we're into December.  We ended the month with nearly a foot of rain & uber drear.   Thankfully, today is somewhat less dismal.  That might actually be a bit sunlight shining through the window,  It's been so long. Can't get near the windows though, the cats have plastered themselves to any spot that has some light coming in on it.  

OK, December, all I really want is for there to be as little drama as possible.  Can we do that?  I hope so.   Here come the holidays & Winter.

Cya...

Dismal Day...

It's been grey for days & I seriously hate it.  I don't do well with drear.  It's more than just an emotional thing.  I feel different when it's bright outside.  I feel more alive & aware.  Given, too much of a good thing can be just as bad.   Still, I'd take a bright Summer day over this dismal crap.

It leaves me distracted & not as alert as I'd like.  Hopefully, this rain has passed & the skies will clear up some.  I'm not sure how people who live in places with extended periods of this mess handle it.  I don't think I could.

Oh well, at least the rain stopped for now.

Cya...

Wet & Cold...

It's still raining & it's still cold.  Not unseasonably, but still unpleasant when combined with all this rain.   It looks like we'll close in on a foot of rain this month if it doesn't stop now.  As it is, we're at or just over 11".   

November is closing out & the new month is upon us.  The last of 2015 is hurdling towards us.  So far, so good.  We've had some upsets, usually with doctors, but nothing overly expensive or earth shattering. 

I keep watching squirrels & sparrows trying to avoid rain drops as they rummage among the fallen leaves.  It's not going well for them.  Not sure how there is to eat out there right now.  Hopefully enough.

As for me, I'm staying inside as much as I can.  I have no use for this weather.  I'm definitely not interested in getting a cold or worse from this wet stuff.  So, in I stay.

Stay dry & safe,

Cya...

Still Raining...

I'm not sure the exact amounts, but if  you count the rain from the last  3 days, we've had 5 - 6".  That's a  lot of rain in a short period.  The roads & waterways are flooding.   

The house isn't that cold, but the air is very wet.   It's making it hard to stay warm.  The only good thing is, we're too cold for this to turn into a steamy mess after the rain stops.  

Other than September, we've made our rain totals pretty well this year.  May should've only had like 6" for the month, but had nearly 2'.   We're doing good for precipitation this year. 

Wherever you are, stay safe & dry.  Beware, the holidays are upon us.

Cya...

Black Friday Shopping...

Actually, this is just my regular shopping day.  The big sales rush is long over by the time I get there.   I did manage to take advantage of some post Thanksgiving Day sales though.   

I found really cheap turkeys. Like .50¢ @ pound.  I got several breasts for under $3.00 each.  They'll be future holiday & special dinners.    There were a lot of other sales, but nothing we really needed.  A lot of people save themselves into spending way more than they should have.  

Today, I'm thankful for post holiday turkeys.

Cya...

Thanksgiving...

The holiday is here & the season is now in full swing.  There'll be no resting until January.  Enjoy...

Everyone is posting about things they're thankful for today.  I try to do that throughout the year.  That includes the red birds I see in the Winter & the 1st little blue flowers of Spring.  These things make me smile & get me through the moments.

Today I am grateful for all those people who are working today.   Those working jobs so everyone else can keep going as normal.  Those who have to work to make sure emergencies can be handled.  Those who work because they can't afford not to.

What I'm not grateful for are all those sanctimonious people & their commercials praising themselves for being so great because they aren't working the holiday & won't have their stores open on the day. This is just a cheap shot at false piousness.  It's an easy jab.  Funny how these people are usually only talking about retail.  

This is a very special thanks to: cashiers, stockers, emergency workers, waitstaff, utility workers, trash collectors, gas station attendants & everyone else working this holiday.  

Happy Thanksgiving...

Cya...

A Little Busy...

Short post today.  We're getting our holiday meal mostly cooked today.  That'll just leave the quick stuff for tomorrow; rolls & such.  I know this is a hard time of year for some people.  I wish you all the best.  May something come your way to make a good day for you.

Cya...

Ignorance Prevails...

This article is about schools in the UK, but I have no reason to believe those in the US would fare any better.  The level of ignorance regarding HIV among the teaching staff was ridiculous.  Their willingness to spread outdated, misinformation intolerable.    For most of these instructors, HIV, nor even health, was their field.  However, if a teacher is going to discuss a matter in class, they should be competent on the matter.  There's tons of widely, easily available & verifiable information concerning HIV on the net.  Their indulgent ignorance is damaging & embarrassing to their profession, not to mention the children who might be + in their classes.

For more evidence of the ignorance regarding HIV, read the whole article, especially the comments.

Cya...

Personal Responsibility & Charlie Sheen...

OK, I'll go back to the Charlie topic once more.  I've said all I have to about him.   Yes, he should've bee more open with his partners about his status.   That's his issue & he could face serious consequences for not being upfront on the matter.

BUT!!!!  This is Charlie Sheen people.  Did you really think he wasn't carrying some type of communicable disease?  Seriously, the man's life was a train wreck for years.  How could anyone possibly believe someone who lived that lifestyle could come out unscathed?  Everything about his life was a high risk behavior.

Anyone who had sex or shared fluids with Charlie Sheen is equally responsible for their own well being.   Unless they were forced or tricked, they have to own up to being responsible for their involvement with Sheen.  They endangered their own health.  They decided to do these things with Sheen.  It seems that a lot of the people going after Sheen have a lot of high risk behaviors of their own, like drug use or being in the porn industry.

This really feels like a desperate grab at 15 minutes of fame, publicity or $,

Cya...

1st Cold Night...

We had the new heater on for a while last night.  It dipped down to the mid 20's F overnight.  I'll never be a fan of cold weather.  It just isn't happening.  I have to close the windows, constantly cover my feet & lose my fans for the season.  I like fresh air & fans & I hate having shoes & socks on all the time.

But, Winter is here & those are the things we do during the season.  This morning was the 1st time I saw the yard lightly glazed with frost.  The windows were a little wet & foggy.  It's an old house.

The countdown is on.  There are just 4 days left until Thanksgiving.  30 until Winter Solstice & 33 until Christmas.  Add a week & we'll have New Year's.  2015 is winding up. Enjoy it while it's here.

Cya..

Skittering Leaves...

The sounds outside my window are changing.  I'm hearing less birds chirping & more house creaking as things chill down.  The nearby trains are much louder on cold tracks & with fewer leaves to buffer the noise.  It's just another sign of Winter approaching.

The sound I like most is the skittering.  The little sound leaves make as they race down the street.  I love watching them as the wind whips them along or how they sometimes dance up into the air in little dust devils.  

I always think it's a waste how some people rake up all the leaves & have them hauled away.  Burn & put the ash over your garden.  Rake them into rows & run them down with the lawn mower.  Decaying leaves are great food for your yard.   They make great compose & mulch.  I guess it's not pretty enough.

Tonight is supposed to be our 1st night under freezing.   We're supposed to be in the mid 20's F.  Glad we got the heater working.   Wherever you are stay comfortable, safe & have a good weekend.

Cya...

Worn Out...

We finally have the stove fixed.  That was costly.  But, at least we'll have heat this Winter.

The trip to Tulsa went OK.  The drive up was easy.  Navigating Tulsa to get out was not.  There was road work in every possible direction.  It took forever to get out of Tulsa.  The rest of the trip went fine.

We went shopping this morning & I think everyone in town was there.  The store was packed & it took way too long to get my shopping done.  I'm tired from all of this. I'll post more tomorrow.  Keep warm

Cya...

Continued Issues, Plumbers & Tulsa...

The issue with the heating stove continues.  The plumbers couldn't get it to work, so we had to make a trip to Home Depot over in  Fort Smith for a new heater.  I hope this thing works.  Because of this, I now have credit with Home Depot & owe them over $200.  That's doesn't count what I have to pay the plumbers for their time.  Only thing I have nice to say about the old, stupid heater; is that it had the decency to die before Winter got ramped up.

The plumbers should be here soon & I have to get around. Afterwards, we have to head to Tulsa for my appointment with my HIV specialist.  This was supposed to be a quiet week leading up to this.  It didn't work out that way.  I really needed to just to be zoned out before I psyched myself up for another appointment with them.  ` That didn't happen. 

I still have to get food & cleaned up a bit. So, I better get.  I hope things go smoothly today,

Cya...

More $ & Waiting For Plumbers...

It looks like we may get some freezing temps this weekend.  I covered the AC's & started cleaning the stoves.  The front room stove doesn't want to stay lit.  We called the plumbers to fix it.  I took that stove a part once & cleaned it.  I liked to never have gotten that thing back together.   So, the plumbers should be coming soon.

Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Outed...

 Charlie Sheen announced he is HIV +.  I would like to send him best wishes regarding his health & decision to come forward.   But, I won't.   Mr. Sheen only came forward with this extremely personal announcement  under duress. 

I'm not going to debate any of his behaviors, real or alleged.  That is not the point.  This man was railroaded into revealing his HIV status.   That's just wrong.

He was being manipulated & blackmailed.  Anyone that pushed this forward in this manner had their own agendas.  If they were so concerned with the welfare of others, these people could have gone to the health department or other authorities.  But, what these people who caused all this fanfare concerning Mr. Sheen's health really wanted, was their 15 minutes in the spotlight.  These are not heroes or good citizens.  They were conniving, vain glorious leeches.  

What Charlie Sheen may have done, does not preclude his right to privacy concerning his health.  I wish him well.  As for those people who forced this to come out in this manner, I hope they choke on it.

Cya...

So Still Not Funny...

Occasionally, I hear people say or see posts about how the stigma against HIV isn't what it used to be.   No, in some ways it's way worse.  It's worse because we have information now.  There's no reason to be ignorant of HIV today.  There's no reason to use fear, anger & bitterness to stir the pot against those living with HIV & then say it was a joke.  

Still not funny.

HIV stigma is as real as ever & in some places absolutely deadly.   In places like I live, it might not be as extreme, but there's a definite possibly of your status being used against you.    Not, trying to be overly sensitive here, but HIV is real & these acts of discrimination only make fighting the disease harder,  Who wants to come forward knowing the virus could make them targets of ridicule, hate & malignant fear mongering?  

No one.

A former UK X-Factor winner posted a stupid Twitter comment about some one & HIV.   He tried to pass the jab off as a joke.  Funny, no one's buying it.  

I'm happy that people are putting this jerk in his place,  Still, he felt comfortable enough to use HIV as a barb.   When it comes to HIV/AIDS & stigma, not much has really changed.

Cya...

UGGHH, Windows Update Is Slow...

The big Win10 update is slowing down my computer & making everything sluggish.  I'll post more tomorrow.  Hopefully, this goes smoothly.

Cya...

Limit Med Access...

According to this article, Texas & over 30 other states restrict the HIV medications available via the insurance exchanges available to their residents.  They simply don't want HIV + people using their plans.   Texas only allows 10 of the currently available medications via their exchanges.  It doesn't matter what regimen your doctor has you on.

Amazingly, somehow, Oklahoma is 1 of 5 states that doesn't restrict HIV medications via their exchanges.  Oklahoma hasn't expanded it's medicaid, nor has it made any assistance or incentives available for it's insurance plans.  At least it doesn't limit the drug availability.  You just probably won't be able to afford them.

This is why I'm on disability.  If my medications & medical went through an insurance company, I couldn't afford any of it.  Then again, that's probably the idea.  Let the poor people die off, so we don't have to deal with them any more.

It would seem the Affordable Care Act is not all it was made out to be.

Cya...

Errands Again...

Nothing much happening here or in the articles. Seems like everybody's concerned with some popular actor  possibly having HIV.  Pseudo panic, shaming & stigmatizing are still popular with the news even those sources purporting to be concerned with HIV.    Still not funny.  Of course, they aren't naming the actor.  That'd get'em sued.  Instead they use old tabloid techniques to rattle some cages.

Had some errands to handle. They've been handled & nothing much left to do here today, except catch up some DVD's.   Nothing out out of the ordinary for us until Thursday.  Then it's off to Tulsa.  

Have a good weekend & happy Friday the 13th.

Cya...

More Errands & Shopping...

Not much going on this morning.  We went grocery shopping & did some errand running.  I mostly finished buying things for Thanksgiving dinner.   Now, I just have to cook it. That'll happen the day before. That way everything gets to rest, including us.

The weather is going up & down again.  It was almost 80 here yesterday & then it did a serious drop.  We won't be nearly as warm today, but the cold air seriously dried us out.  We'll have humidity levels down into the mid 20's today.  That's no fun.

I should have most the winterizing done this week or the next.  I need to get the AC's covered.  Most of the fans have been stowed away for the season.  Soon, the bigger blankets & afghans will come out for the Winter.  I need to clean out the stoves soon.   I hope we don't have to light them too early this year.   Last year we had them on pretty early into November.  I'd love to get into December without them.  That probably won't happen.

Winter is coming.  That bring a different set of health issues for me.  Chilblains, colds & dry skin are heading my way.   Oh yeah.  Hopefully,  I far better this year.

Stay warm.

Cya...

Dreary Trash Day...

We're supposed to be headed into thunderstorms.  So far, it's just dark & drizzly.  I need to get some stuff done outside, but it'll wait until tomorrow.  I don't want to deal with the wet.

Nothing much going on here today.  It's fairly quiet & cool enough all the cats are curled into little balls on the couch.   They've shown no sign of moving nay time soon.

The rain seems to be picking up & I need to get the trash out.  This is all for now.  Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Labs & Glasses...

I got my labs  & new glasses in today.  I had to run a few errands & I needed to get my lab results before I go to Tulsa on the 19th.  I stopped by the store as well.  This stop dealt with everything on my holiday gift list except for little candies I'll put in the packages like candy canes, coal & the like.

My glasses are here.  That's  a week faster than the last order.  They fit well.  The prescription changed very little, but I can tell it.  It'll take a bit for me get used to them.  Yeah Zenni Optical, 2 pairs with transitions for $60 counting shipping. 

My HIV tests are good.  I also had a thyroid test & a lipid panel.  Parts of the lipid panel were high, as were parts of the thyroid test.  I asked the receptionist if the doctor wanted to see me sooner.  She called me back & said the doctor felt that although my numbers were high, they weren't that off & I could wait to see him in January.  Hopefully, this won't mean any more meds, but it might. I guess I'll find out in January.

Overall, it's been a good, productive morning. 

Cya.

It's Chilly...

It's definitely chilly here.  It's supposed to get a little warmer tomorrow, not much.  The days of 80's are gone for the year.  But the 70's will linger on for a while longer.

I need to go pick up my lab results tomorrow.  I'll take them with me to Tulsa.  I have an appointment on the 19th.  Hopefully, after that I will be back with the doctor I saw via telemedicine.   I still miss that.  It sucks they killed it & no, I probably won't ever get passed it.

The next couple of weeks will be busy.  We have a lot going on & trips to make.   We'll have to try not to let it wear us out too much.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Cya...

Still Spreading...

Throughout the news online for the past few days, there's been discussion of how Ohio may soon be hit by a wave of HIV infections.   Like its neighbor, Indiana, Ohio has been the victim of the economic downturn.   It has been hit hard financially.  When this happens the emotional, social, psychological & spiritual soon begin to suffer as well.  As these wounds compound, people look for solace.

Too often people find comfort in drugs; pain killers, oxy, meth & heroin.  This has already left Ohio with a high number of Hepatitis C cases.  It's likely other communicable diseases such as HIV are soon to follow.

The scary thing, this pattern is almost identical to what happened in Indiana.  Almost every state in the Great Lake region is in a similar situation & could easily go down the same path.  The old industry states have fallen & may never recover.  Look at the Detroit area.    Too much of the US is looking worse off than those countries we title "third world."

These people have been cast aside by the industries they made great.  They aren't falling through the craps, they're being shoved down the drain. They've experienced a rapid shift into the marginal world of being  part of  the fringe population of society.   It's not a pretty place & it's not safe.

Cya...

I Hate Mornings...

I don't trust mornings.  They're usually when my world goes to hell.  I become far more aware of myself as the light starts to shine.  But, I have to ask, is this just anxiety & some level of depression?  Or is it that later in the day I can kid myself into believing all the crap I bought the day before?    I like waking up to the light, but I don't like my thoughts during these hours.   The options are limited; either I'm deluding myself, being anxious or both.  Mornings can be hell for me.

When I was feeling down a while back about what little I've done since my diagnosis my roommate told me I had done things.  Mostly it centered on helping the strays in our area.  I'm not doing that anymore.  Not since May.  I can't really afford it, financially or emotionally.   I'm back to basically doing nothing.

I look back at our blogs from time to time.  It's something my roomie does.  2 years ago, we were in a very different place.  Since then, there were some very serious health issues.  A new entry into the world.  The health issues have been mostly faced, but somehow we've never come back to where we were. I look at those posts & see a much different atmosphere in the house.  We weren't always happy, but it seemed better than now.

There doesn't seem to be much left.  A lot of the progress we made is just gone.  I'm not blaming anyone, maybe it's just me.  My roomie thinks everyone would be better off living by themselves.  I don't.  I have & I remember it.  I can only imagine the awful life it must be for the elderly living alone & uncared for by anyone.  If I have any luck left, I hope I pass before that or a nursing home. My life is depressing enough now.

I'm not seeing a way out of this.  I hear all the little barbs & see read all the shit on the net.  I try to let it pass.  Most of it probably has nothing to do with me. maybe none of it does.  I'm not sure which is worse.  To be the target or just utterly cast aside.  

I don't think I'll be doing any resolutions this new year.  I really don't see any reason in trying to make myself live longer. I'm really tired & spent lately.  Maybe it's the HIV.  Maybe it's anxiety.  I'm feel very isolated.  My roomie has her own issues to deal with in her life.  She'll see her family over the holidays.  I hope that goes well for her,

I need to get my day started.  I hope the cats haven't messed up anything.  I really hate mornings.

Cya...

Another Brief Post...

We have to go shopping & then we're going to see The Peanuts Movie.   So. this will be brief.  Yesterday was very annoying with no internet at all.  It took me quite a while to get caught up with my online stuff again. 

I've been reading a bit about Seasonal Disorders.  It seems they aren't limited to affecting our moods as the light levels change.  There are seasonal disorders concerning many aspects of a person's health.  I wasn't surprised when I read about Seasonal Digestive Disorder/Distress.  Many people have  a myriad of gastrointestinal issues during the big seasonal shifts between the light & dark or hot & cold parts of the year.  

This makes a lot of sense.  My entire body acts differently during these 2 times of the year.  I don't even really feel like the same person or that I'm living in the same skin.  My allergies, digestion, sinuses, blood pressure all act remarkably different throughout the year.   This is probably affecting everyone to some extent.  It definitely gets to me.

Cya...

Net Gone....

The net just got back on after being gone for almost a whole day.  I have no idea how long it will last.  So, this is just an update. More tomorrow,

Cya...

Trash Day...

Another Wednesday, another trip to the curb.  We've gotten most of our early bills dealt with, the other will be handled soon.  Then this part of the month will over again.

I got my flu shot yesterday while we out.  We've gotten a lot warmer today.  My head isn't happy about that.  I'm feeling a little out of it.  That could be the weather or the vaccination.  Hopefully, it'll pass soon, it's not playing well with my digestive system.

There are a lot of  articles out there right now talking about the return of chemsex & how it's  a threat to the fight against HIV.   The return?  Did chemsex ever really leave?   I'm not surprised.  Recent numbers are showing a higher death rate in middle-aged, white Americans.  The leading causes are drugs & suicide.   There's just too much crap out there to deal with & little hope of getting passed it.  So they partied hard or just ended it. With the way the economy has been for years, I'm surprised it took this long to happen.

Try to stay safe & if you can't, try not to take anyone else with you.

Cya...

Bi-Monthly Meds...

Johnson & Johnson has developed a new combo-drug, injectable medication for HIV.  According to the article, it can be given at 2 month intervals.   If this is brought to the public, it could have a huge impact.  Especially with adherence.

When I started my meds, I took over 2 dozen pills a day.   A few of those were supplements, but most were HIV meds.  I took 18 just counting the Fortovase & they were huge.  

These intervals, would also mean the person would see the doctor at least that often.  That may be a huge improvement for some people.  Much of treatment is observation & this would allow more opportunity.

Hopefully, this will be coming soon. If it does & I can tolerate it, that would mean no more fighting with a speciality pharmacy.  That'd be great.  We'll just have to wait & see,

Cya...

1st Monday Of November...

Bill week has begun.   We won't be paying anything until tomorrow.  Then it's underway to deal with all the monthly stuff.

Not much going on here right now.  I'm fine with that.  It's the 2nd day past the time change.  It's still nice to wake up to the extra light.  It won't last long, but while it's here, I'm going to enjoy it.

Hope everyone has a good week.

Cya...

November...

November is here.  This week will be filled with 1st of the month stuff.  It can be a bit hectic, but once it's done, we're in the clear for a month.  

I'm very thankful for the 1st day post Daylight Saving Time.  That extra hour really does have an impact on my sleep.  More light in the morning made it far easier to wake up & get around.  

My glasses are ordered.  I use Zenni Optical.  They're very affordable for us & I don't have to worry about breaking an expensive pair of glasses I couldn't afford to replace.   Only downside being their slow processing & delivery.   But, at these prices I can be patient.  My roomie will be up next.

I had a good experience with this optometrist.   I didn't with the last guy, he was beyond brusque.  I'm surprised at my age, I didn't need bifocals/progressives.  My prescription had only slightly changed & the doctor doesn't think I'll need bifocals any time soon.  Yeah for me.

So, hello November, let's try to have a good month.

Cya...

Happy Halloween...

It's Halloween & the end of October.  Even better, it's the end of Daylight Saving Time.   Whether it's Samhain, All Saint's., just more light in the morning or whatever else you're celebrating, best wishes. 

So long October.  You were an odd month.  You were wet & chilly & then very dry & in the mid 90's.   Very indecisive of you.  

My lab & eye appointments went well.  We're planning for the upcoming month & the holidays.  We've got most the gifts settled.  Now, just figuring out the little details, like what to eat.

Have a great night.  Bring your pets inside, they don't need to be part of the shenanigans.  Happy  Hunting.

Cya...

Errands & Appointments...

Sorry, another short post.  I have to go shopping & then to Fort Smith for an eye exam.  Hopefully, it won't rain.  I don't know whether they'll dilate my eyes or not.  I know it might be needed, but I don't like it.   We'll see.  If so, my roomie will be driving home. Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Short Post...

Running out to do have blood drawn for my November appointment with the specialist in Tulsa.  Tomorrow we'll go shopping & I've got an appointment with the eye doctor. Tomorrow's post will probably be short as well.  Oh well, stuff has to get done.

Cya...

Dark Mornings Suck...

I can't wait until the 1st of the month.  Then Daylight Saving Time will end.   For a while at least, I'll have some light coming through my windows in the morning. I just don't do well without it.  

The dark mornings have been compounded by some seriously, dreary-ass weather.  There hasn't been much rain, just a lot of clouds & the suggestion of rain.   This weather isn't pleasant.

I'm spending more time solo now & days like this aren't fun.   My roomie hates the Summer heat.  I'll take it, as long as it means I get light coming in the windows.   

I turn on my overhead & a lamp as soon as I'm up.  It's not the same.  It's better than sitting in the dark, but nothing like sunlight.

I'll get blood drawn tomorrow.  Then on Friday after grocery shopping, I'll go to the eye doctor.   That's my plans for the week.

Cya..

November In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

This is the last week of October & then we'll be off paying bills again.  Yesterday, was a bit of a bust.  Our cable box is on the fritz.  Our subscription is so limited we don't need it. It was part of some weird bargain bundle.  Turns out they don't use those anymore & wanted us to upgrade (charge more) to a new option.  We just decided to bypass the box & everything was fine.

My roomie will be busy today & tomorrow.  Thursday I'll need to go get blood drawn.  Friday will be groceries & a run to the eye doctor.  Soon after, new glasses will be ordered.   I can see, but these things are 2 years old now.   Then repeat for my roomie's glasses.

There was a bit in the articles about a new, modified protein from bananas, called BanLec.  It might eventually be used to fight infections like HIV & the flu.   It's still early in that game though.

Another article reported  a Brooklyn model can collect damages from the New York State Division of Human Rights.   The agency hired the model for a campaign.  The ads read, " I am Positive (+) and I have Rights."   2 tiny problems here, she isn't + & she wasn't portrayed as just a model.   She was portrayed as having HIV.  The judge declared she could collect damages because the agency portrayed the model as having a "loathsome" disease that would expose her to public stigma.  

Talking about bananas is new here, but stigma isn't.  Some things might never change about having HIV.  Maybe the BanLEc thing will pan out.

Cya...

Last Monday...

This is the last week of October.  The month rolled by quick.  We're headed headlong into the holidays now.   Nice seeing you again October.

I'll be glad when the time change happens.  I need more light in the morning.  I'm doing better this year, but I still hate this season's light issues.  It leaves me with stress dreams & anxiety.  I can handle the bright of Summer or the blinding white of a snowy day, but I hate dismal, overcast days.  They really do a number on me after a while.

I've got to get blood drawn this week & start trying to make an appointment with an eye doctor.  We both need new glasses.

Hope everyone has a good Halloween coming up. 

Cya...

Not Used To It...

I drove my roomie to a party last night.  She got there early & I went to run some errands & see a movie.  It's been a while since I'd been on a Saturday night in Fort Smith.  The stores were extra busy & so was every place to eat.  The theater parking lot was overflowing.   There was a pretty good wait in the ticket line.

I usually avoid these times & had forgotten how packed they could get.  I got through it, but it was a bit overwhelming with noise.  I think I'll stick with my matinees, less people.

It piddle rained all night & made the drive home annoying.  But my roomie had a good time.  Also, I now know I don't like Popeye's fish or popcorn shrimp. The errands went well, so there's that.

Cya...

Chilly Outing...

Nothing much going on here today.  Well head to Fort Smith Later.  My roomie has a get together with her friends for an early Halloween Party.   I'll do some errands & see a movie.

The rain has kept lightly falling.  Everything is damp & chilly.  As long as the weather doesn't get a lot worse, everything should be set for later.  

It's less than a week until Halloween.  8 days until 1 of the most important days of the year,  No, not All Saints Day.  It'll be the day that Daylight Saving Time ends.  After that, the holiday season will be officially a go.

Cya...

Tulsa Doctor...

It looks like I'll be heading back to Tulsa for my specialist appointments.  After this next appointment, I'll be back with the doctor that saw while I was using telemedicine.  I could altered this appointment, but it would've changed other's schedules.  I try not to do that if I can help it.

It means a drive, but that's better than the alternative in Stigler.  I needed to get this handled.  It was nice to have a little good news.  Lately, things haven't been that great.

Being in a small town, being chronically ill, not being involved; it's all very isolating.  This last couple of years has seemed even more so.  I don't see much I can do about it. 

At least it's finally raining.  Maybe I'll start feeling a little better.  That'd be nice.

Cya..

Thursday Again...

Not much going on today. We went shopping today due to a schedule redo.  The store was busy.  

My nose has been driving me nuts lately.  This weather has left me with a lot of nosebleeds.  Nothing too serious, but still annoying.  It kept feeling like I was going to have 1 while we were out shopping.  Fortunately, I didn't.  

It's supposed to rain  this weekend.   I hope it does.  We need the moisture.   My sinuses need the moisture.  Other than that, not much is happening here.  I'll post more tomorrow.

Cya...

Strange Realization...

I recently became aware of something that shouldn't bother me, but it's odd & a little disturbing.  When I was diagnosed with HIV, I was actually diagnosed as having AIDS.  My CD4 count was non-existent & my viral load was astronomical.   After I'd been on my regimen, my counts slowly improved.  I've only gotten above a CD4 count of 400 a few times, but my viral load is undetectable.

It's unlikely, I'll ever be at the target range for all my counts.  I started meds very late in the game.  Early application of a medical regimen does have a notable affect on long term health & activity levels.  I may never be where they want me to be or feel like I'd prefer.  Still, I'm better than I was, most days at least.

No matter what my numbers or how I feel, my diagnosis is still AIDS.  I tell people HIV, but actually according to legalities & health officials, I'm a PWA, a person with AIDS.   I guess I am, but still it's odd.

I remember how I felt in those days.  I could barely function.  I didn't want to eat.  Breathing was a challenge.  Any thing beyond sleep was a real effort.   Some days are bad now, some are very bad. But not like then, when they all were.

I don't tell people I have AIDS.  They freak out enough over HIV.  But as far as the medical community is concerned I am a person living with AIDS.  Damn, that feels weird.

Cya...

Responsibility...

This article discusses the possible parole of a man who is imprisoned for criminally transmitting HIV.  The victim is fighting his parole.  He's just 6 years into a 25 year sentence. As it is, due to work programs, time served & the like, it's likely he'd be out by 2020.  

Some feel it's to draconian to punish someone like this.  I'm not among them.  This man knew he was + & purposely engaged in activities that would transmit the virus.  He pulled the trigger & forever alter someone else's life.  He should pay.

It isn't draconian to make a criminal who causes grievous harm, sexually assaults or permanently traumatized another pay for their crimes.    HIV is no longer a death sentence, but it most certainly will end your current life as you know it.  Anyone who says otherwise is either ignorant or in denial.

People like this should have to serve the entire sentence.

Cya...