Turning points are today's topic for the blog challenge. They wanted a single point of life change, but in most people's lives, especially anyone over 25, there are bound to be at least a few major points when things altered course.
My childhood was rough, but the roughness was fairly consistent, so I adapted to it. I thought everyone's parents were angry, out-of control, violent drunks. I thought the flying fists, slung lamps & raised voices were just part of life. At least until I turned eight. Then my parents divorced & they needed to. Actually, neither of them should've ever been married or had kids in the first place.
Before the divorce, even though I was living in a familial war-zone, I was a fairly confident kid. I was more friendly & outgoing. I had a lot less fear & apprehension. The post divorce me was far more withdrawn & embarrassed. Now, I knew our way of life was "different." This altered a lot of me. It wasn't the divorce that changed me, but the realization that we were living this unacceptable lifestyle. Being from a small town, those people had no intention of letting us forget about it either.
My life was in flux for the next several years. Up until the point I was 13. We cycled through baby-sitters & relatives while my mother vanished for days to weeks at a time. Most of the time my dad was MIA. Whenever he was there, he'd try to pull it together for us kids. He actually managed to a couple of times & then mom would show back up to obliterate whatever little life we had built for ourselves. Jealous bitch. Then at 13, when my father was gone to who knows where, she actually just vanished. Let the chaos begin.
From 13 until just about the time I turned 16, I was shipped from place to place. Relatives, foster homes, group homes, juvenile institutions, etc... When I was 16, I managed to get out on my own. I did spend some of my time living alone, but other points living with relatives. I reached out to my father in Salt Lake & that was a drunken disaster, it lasted about a month. Then I tried living with my sister to help with her kids while she was separated. I thought we both needed the help. She got back with her husband & I left. I could not stand that man. Past that, I gave my mom one last chance. I went to stay with her for about 6 weeks before college started. About 3 weeks in, she bailed again. After that I never lived with any other adult, other than as roommates again.
From then until my mid-late 20's, I was in one college or another. I finished with a Ph.D. Don't get excited, I stayed in school because I had no where else to go. I still don't think I've fully recovered from being out of the academic arena. Sometimes I really miss it. From there on, it didn't go upwards & onward. No, it fizzled. I graduated at the beginning of the collegiate downsizing & was told by just about every other potential employer that I was grossly over-qualified. I worked crap jobs for the next several years. College had been my haven, but also my trap.
In the late 90's I lost a crappy, but descent paying job, due to boss's weirdness. Shortly there after, I started getting sick. At first, it'd come & go. But by Christmas of 1999, I was so sick I managed to quit smoking. On January 03 of the new millennium I was diagnosed with HIV. Since then I have had to adjust to being +, getting on disability, having my then roommate/friend bail on me, getting a new roommate & life in general in my 30's & beyond as a + person.
Last year, I started blogging & trying to keep some perspective on my life. I committed to writing in it everyday & I did. I may have had some short entries, but I did write in it daily. There's my roommate, several cats & myself in my household now & were all just getting through life as we can. We've got our plans & I hope they pan out.
These points of change have started different parts or seasons of my life. Each time the change has come, the chaos shook my life & I lost a lot, but I often gained things as well. There's some of my turning points, ever thought about yours?
Cya
