Friends...

This day lands us on the Best Friend day of the blog challenge.  This category has gotten me into sticky situations in the past.  It seems that I have a different take on the concept of friendship than a lot of people.  I, personally, place friends, at lest long term ones, at the same rank or higher than I do family members.  I always put them higher than family members, but then again that says a lot about my family.

Friends are people you choose to allow into your life.  You opt to share your experiences with these people.  You have work or school friends, which may only be part of that specific aspect of your life.  You have acquaintances, like the person you see everyday on your train commute into the city.  You talk to them about this & that mostly to make the commute pass faster.    You have associates.  These are people you have to share some activities, like a job, but aren't necessarily some you'd have in your life else wise.  There are good time  buddies that you go out & party with, see a movie or a sports event.  There are task specific relationships, like the mechanic you like to use or your mail carrier.  Who could forget he friends with benefits option or just the benefits without friendship option.  There are casual friends.  People who are part of your life but never go to deep into it, like neighbors, in-laws or your kid's friend's parents.   These add up to the majority of people we give some level friendship title to in our lives.  That leaves the best or dear friend.  These are the people you share your life with including all the warts & ugliness.  These are the people that will help you the rough times.  These are the families you form for yourself without the aid of blood & DNA.

I've had quite a few close friends over the years.  Unfortunately, I usually take the relationship more seriously than most.  I have a lot of faults & will never deny that, but one thing I have to offer in a friendship is loyalty.  This usually costs me.  I am devoted in a friendship & I just assume this is going to be reciprocated.  I've been wrong a lot in the past.  Some of my friendships have ended due to circumstances beyond our control, like having to move.  Others were ended when the alleged best friend showed that they only took the friendship as seriously as I did when it suited them. 

 I hate things that depict friendship as some temporary thing we share with others that is always bound to end & will always be upstaged by family or other commitments. Digimon is an excellent example.  But many stories have children making incredible friendships only to throw them away when family gets near.  Oh, BTW, I despise little Jackie Paper. may he rot in hell.

I get that there are temporary relationships; friends we make at summer camp or students at college from far away.  That doesn't mean that all friendships should be relegated to the realm of the temporary & unimportant.  There are many people in the world who's only family are their friends.  I am one of those people.  I may have blood relations, but I don't know these people & haven't been part of their lives in decades.  My friends on the other hand, they have been my family & I have & will again, go out of my way to help them wherever I can.

At this point my roomie is my closest friend.  My past best friend was my last roommate, who bailed.  So goes that friendship.   We've known each other since the early 90's & have lived together since the early 2000's.  We know each other.  We both have our issues & we deal with them, that's just what you do.  

To me, my friends will always rank higher than my family, even the ones that left.  I chose them.  I let them into my life.  I may not want them back in my life, but I have to admit there were some good times in the past & not focus on all the negative.  If your family hurts you, you had no control over their presence in your life.  If a friend brings you harm, you brought them into your life & can make them leave as well.  To me friendship is about freewill, choice & control, three things I will do my best to hold onto for as long as possible.

That's my take on the friendship thing as muddled as it was.

Cya

PS:  Self portrait of my roomie