Cool Day...

Its still cool & it might rain.  I hope not.  I had to spray again today  & it'd be great for it to not rain for a bit.  All this cool, wet weather  has really launched flea season into overdrive.   The vacuuming has begun in earnest again.   The cats hate being gone over, but it has to be done.  I hate fleas.

If it starts to warm up & dry off, we'll have an easier time with the fleas.  That has shown no sign of happening yet.  So the little vampires are having a serious party.

Too many people have animals around here & aren't spraying there lawns.   That doesn't count for all the wild animals in the neighborhood.   Too bad I can't spray all of them as well.  Then maybe I'd have a shot at ending the flea menace for the season.

Cya...

Duh...

I posted the other day about starting treatment as soon as a person is diagnosed HIV +.  My roomie read my post & the attached article & came to a conclusion, "Duh!"  It seems so much about HIV is like that.  Things that should be common sense are treated like major scientific breakthroughs. 

How many other illnesses could you be diagnosed with & the doctor tell its better to wait until your condition worsens before we start treatment?  Of course you should start treatment as soon as possible.  Why is that even something to discuss?

It comes down to $, religion & politics.   People don't want to spend $ on "Those kind of people."  You know, the people who get AIDS.  They're just not our problem.  They go against my politics or faith.   Why should do anything to help those people?

The Duh's of HIV:

• Educate people about HIV
• Get tested
• Get treatment if +

Those are pretty much the basics.  If those 3 three can get done regularly & thoroughly then HIV can start to be handled.  Too bad common sense seems to collide with some many people's values.

Cya...

3 Days Post...

This many days later & I'm still feeling the impact of last Monday's fiasco with the power outage.   Between the stress, lack of sleep & changes in routine, my body is still pretty worn out.  I'm getting past it, but I'm not over it yet.

The problem with having a chronic illness, is that something like this isn't over when the event ends.   The event technically ended midday Tuesday.  It wasn't until Wednesday that I could see how much food we'd lost.  On Thursday we went shopping early to replace what we'd lost.   All the while, meals have been get as we can. 

I'm hoping this weekend I'll see a full recovery from this mess.   I need this to be behind me. Next week is the beginning of the month & bill time.  I'll start trying to contact my specialist office in Tulsa to see if anyone knows anything about Telemedicine yet.   Stay well everyone. 

Cya...

Sooner, Not Later...

In many parts of the world HIV treatment is often postponed until a person's CD4 level & viral loads hit certain points.   According to the study in this article & others going around, treatment should begin immediately after diagnosis.   

Its been accepted for a while, the earlier treatment begins, the better the regimen will work.   This treatment is as soon as possible, therefore improving all odds for a good regimen & management of the person's HIV.  

My treatment was very late in the game.  I've never had a CD4 count over 400 more than twice in a row.  Its just not going to happen.  I'm usually in the 300's, but my viral loads remain undetectable.  Its entirely likely that if I'd gotten  treatment earlier, I might not feel as crappy as I often do.   Maybe my hair, skin & teeth would've stayed in better condition. 

Its not an option for me, but it is for those just being diagnosed.  Hopefully, people will listen to this & there'll be enough funds to cover it.  Now, we just have to get people to test regularly.

Cya...

Recovering...

Night before last I didn't sleep hardly at all.  I was too worried about how much food & $ I was going to lose due to the stupid power outage.   I'm still not sure how much exactly, but over a $100 at least.   I'll probably not know everything, until I try to fix something & it smells off.  This could easily run up to $200.  Cash I seriously don't have to fix this mess up.  I already had to fork out over a $100 to get a new microwave that died during this.  

I hate OG&E.  They never have enough people to fix things.    We called repeatedly & got nowhere.  I finally found a number & got a real-live person & exaggerated the extent of the damage to a nearby pole that was leaning due a tree falling on the power lines.  They got there & started fixing it pretty soon after that.  Turns out my stretching of things wasn't that far off.  I couldn't see the pole was actually cracked & probably near cracking.  They just needed a nudge with a bulldozer.

We actually got a lot done yesterday,  None of which was sleeping for me.  I slept last night, but I'm still tired.   I'm slowly working through the fridge to clean out the bad.  I'm learning how to use the new microwave.  Mostly, I'm tired & achy. 

I seriously hope everyone else is doing better.

Cya...

Power Out...

The power went out yesterday at 6:00 PM.  It just came back on at about 3:00 PM.  I've got a lot to do.  More tomorrow.

Cya...

Memorial Day...

Its another holiday here.  I'm not sure how much outdoor festivities there's going to be with all this rain we've had.  I know, this day isn't supposed to be about the living, but for the dead.   I guess the dead don't really care rains or not.

We got shopping done.  This week will be clipped due to the holiday.  Mail won't run today.  It also increases the likelihood my pharmacy order for Friday will get screwed up.  I'm bracing myself for it to be an incomplete order.

The rain has stopped for now.  Still there are chances for it all through the week.  We've had somewhere between 15 to 21" depending on which site you trust.  Either way, we're way past the 6" average for the month.  The yards are floating & the waterways are overflowing. 

That's about it for today.  Stay safe.  Have a good holiday, if you celebrate it, if not Happy Monday.

Cya...

Not Happy...

Its been raining for days & there's a lot of local flooding.  So far, it doesn't seemtoo bad in my area.  The rain's still going & there's no sign its slowing down any time soon.

Last night sorta sucked.  I went to bed only to be woke up repeatedly my crashing rain & wind.  The  white cat repeatedly displayed her inability to sleep on the window sill without falling to the floor with a splat.

About 3, a loud noise started & at 1st I thought it was the tornado siren, but it wasn't the right sound.  It took me a while to figure out  what it might be.  I had it down to some idiot's car alarm or same said idiot's horn.  Turned out it was the horn.  It kept blaring for several minute intervals.  Then it would stop for a few minutes.  After that, there'd be a few loud chirps & then full out blaring again.

I went to the neighbors & banged on the door.  No one answered, by now it was past 3:40 AM.  I called the police,  They came & of course the damn thing stopped.  I don't know if they talked to the neighbors or not.  About 30 minutes later it started again for a little while.  It finally died.  Maybe it drained the battery.  I hate my neighbors & I hate car alarms.

I finally got back to sleep sometime, but I woke up tired.  Again, I'm harboring some serious hate for my neighbors.  There's no way they didn't hear that damn horn.  Enough ranting for now.

Cya...

Quiet Saturday...

Not much going here today.  We got out errands ran yesterday.   That's good, my roomie picked up some stomach bug.  I'm hoping I don't.  So far, so good.  

Her friend's family has been ill as well.  That may be where she picked it up.  She doesn't seem to have gotten  as bad as they did.  Still, she's not feeling all that great this morning.  With any luck, it won't last long.

It was a busy, aggravating week.  We need the time to get past this.  Maybe the rest of May will be easier.

Have a great weekend.

Cya...

The Day After...

The Little Black Cat called Hex is no longer a resident of our porch.  She had her kittens & the four of them were relocated.   Regardless of how I feel on the matter, it was the best call.   

No matter how I tried for nearly 10 months, she was having nothing to do with me.  That's why she wasn't fixed & got pregnant. I couldn't even get a picture of her.  Now there were going to be 3 more I probably couldn't have handled & they'd been making babies.   Still, I'll miss her talking to me through the window demanding food.

I'm done with porch cats for now at least.  I've gone through too many off them.  Alice & Tinkerbell made it inside, but the others are gone.  Many I was close to, others I just had names for, some weren't so pleasant, but they're all missed.  

For now, I've done what I can.  Maybe later, but probably not.  I get too attached to them & an outdoor cat's life isn't easy or long. People seriously need to get their pets fixed.  

So long Hex.

Cya...

Frustrating Cat...

The little black cat had kittens on my porch.  I've been trying to catch it.  The kittens were easy.  She is not.  She keeps evading the cage.  I have to get  the kitten back & put it back in the trap.    LBC is a wily little thing.   Hopefully this will over soon.  I've got other things to do.

Cya..

Storms & The Net...

The Net was out earlier this morning for over an hour.  Its blinked in & out a few more times.  I'll probably lose it again here shortly.  This will be a brief post.

The rain has really come down.  Weather Underground says over 3", probably closer to 2.  Still we're under flood warnings again & I have to travel this afternoon.  

I'm mostly recovered from the trip to Tulsa.  I'm getting passed the irritation with it & have settled on my tentative plan.  I'm reluctant, but also slightly excited.  If my telemedicine bus is gone, then all I'll see in Tulsa is disinterested residents.  People that will never go near Infectious Disease, let alone HIV.  So, another doctor seems the best choice.  Still, its an annoying process.

Have good day.

Cya...

Add It Up...

I'm going to try & be objective about my trip to Tulsa for my HIV specialist.   For reminder, I normally do this in my town via the telemedicine bus.   Yesterday, I had to drive there & back.  

We left about 10:30 AM.   I left a little earlier than necessary because possible bad weather was in the forecast & the office had moved since the last time I was up there.  This extra 30 minutes gave me wiggle room.  Turns out I didn't need it.  

I got to the place at about 12:30.    I went in the building early to make sure I could find the office & knowing there might be paper work to fill out.  My appointment time of 1:00 PM came & went.   I was this new doctor's 1st patient of the day.  

At 20 after a nurse took me back & did the most scant vitals I've ever had done for an appointment.   She got my weight, the slapped the automated  blood pressure device, the oxygen reader & thermometer on me.  After that she left.

It was almost 15 minutes later this doctor showed up. He looked at my labs,  Asked if I was tolerating my regimen & gave me more blood work he wanted for next time.  2 - 4 minutes top was all he was there.   I'd driven 2 hours, waited inside nearly an hour & all he can give his 1st patient of the day is less than 5 minutes.   He didn't even ask me if I had any questions & anything I needed to talk about.

I made my appointment for in November.   He wanted several new tests.  The fasting lipid panel was expected, I hadn't had 1 in a while.  But the test for hepatitis, syphilis & TB were just sort of odd.  I'd had these in the past.   I am not sexually active & I haven't been exposed to TB.  We're these tests just standard now?  Or were they aimed at me because of my HIV?

After I left, we went to get something to eat.  I'll add, the the highway downtown & Riverside Drive were in horrible condition.  I've seen dirt roads with less holes. After we ate, we got gas & headed out.  It was nearly 5:30 when we got home.

I left with $100.  After getting gas twice (the van guzzles), eating out, getting something drink, & paying tolls I was left with $20.  This trip cost me $ I really didn't have to spend.  It cost wear & tear on the van & us.  It took time it shouldn't have.  

Both my roomie & I are still tired.  Last night was worse.  I'm trying to let go of this & make a plan.  I'll check in June & see if Telemedicine is completely gone.  If so, its time for a new doctor.

I spent $80, 7+ hours & my energy for a very disappointing, less than 5 minute  appointment with a questionably qualified doctor.  This was a total bust.  I'm still frustrated over this.  Hopefully, there will be other options.

Cya..

& We're Off...

Today is going to feel  very  rushed for us.  Not that it really is.  We're just not used to travelling like this anymore.  It used to be common, but we no longer have that much of a reason to go to Tulsa,  

The trip isn't nearly the pain in the ass it used to be.  They fixed a lot of the road.  It actually cut off about 20 minutes of the travel.   Still, its a long drive & it will be tiring for me.

I'm hoping my specialist's office won't be too annoying.  I'm really not in the mood for it.  Especially since I should be seeing them down here via telemedicine.    I'm really losing my faith in these people 

I'll get a shower, then eat.  After that we'll get gas & be gone.  Here's finger-crossed for a good trip.

Cya...

Getting Around...

Have to go shopping in a bit.   We're going a day early because of my appointment in Tulsa tomorrow.  Of course we're having questionable weather & possible flooding.

I'm really irritated at the idea of having to go up there just for this stupid appointment.  Its stupid because most likely all they will do is go over my lab results & I already know what they say.  I don't like the fact whenever I ask about the reason behind the change & possible death of telemedicine programs they've repeatedly evaded the topic.

Maybe they think we're stupid or we'll just stop asking.  I don't know.  I just know, I feel like I'm getting BS'ed on this matter.  Hopefully tomorrow will go well.

Cya...

Slow Saturday...

I have absolutely nothing planned today beyond taking a bath, cooking some beans & doing dishes.  That's it.  My plans for the week are getting bumped up due to my appointment in Tulsa on Monday. 

Tomorrow, I'll go shopping & try to get everything done I'd do on Monday.  Then Monday we'll head to Tulsa.  Tuesday will be mostly about recovering from the trip. Past that, we have some other plans for further into the week that, but nothing too big.    So, today is just for resting up.

Cya...

No Time...

I just back from shopping.  I've got about enough time to eat & sit down for a bit.  Then I have to go get the van's tires fixed.   So, busy, busy, busy.  Still, I'm glad they could get to me before the trip on Monday.   I don't need to deal with tire issues on the road.  More tomorrow.

Cya...

Morning Running Around...

I had the van's tires looked at this morning.   I don't want a flat tire or 2 on the way to my specialist's office in Tulsa.   A while back the mechanics traded the front with the back.  The 1's originally in the front were the older tires.  It look's like it was a good idea to go have them checked.  Both the back tires need replacing. 

That's a bit of $ I didn't want to spend, but its a spend it now or spend it later situation.  I'd definitely rather have the problem dealt with now then have a blow out on the highway.   Its not easy changing tires on the van & it could've wound up being both rear tires going out instead just 1.  That would've been my luck.

They had to order the tires.  Tomorrow, after we go shopping & deal with whatever other errands we have, I'll go deal with the tires.  Then we should be ready for the trip.  I hope.

Cya...

May Dr.'s Appointment ...

I had my regular meet with my primary care physician.    It went fine.  My labs weren't great, but they were in range for me.   We discussed some other matters & he's not worried about anything.   My weight was higher than I'd liked, but my blood pressure was down.

I talked to him about the telemedicine issue.  He agrees with me.  If they can't give me adequate answers soon then I'll see about another doctor for my HIV.   My doctor thinks Tulsa is probably having equipment issues.  

I called Tulsa this morning to confirm my appointment next Monday.  I was told no one that might know anything about telemedicine was in the office & wouldn't be until the beginning of June.  Apparently, May is vacation & training time for that office. Just yippie for me.

I'll try to be patient for now, but that won't last.  This whole telemedicine thing just feels off for some reason.  I'll give them their chance & then I be on my way.   The 1st doctor's appointment of the month is handled.

Cya...

Still Not With It...

I slept better last night than the 1 before, but I still feel pretty run down.  Maybe tomorrow.  I hope so, I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.  Its a regular visit.   I'll probably talk to him about my knee that's been acting up a bit.  I need to get my lab results.   I have to go to Tulsa on Monday for the idiots that killed my telemedicine.

I was reading an article about how men in an African study tended to reach lower CD4 rates faster than women.  This is the basis for how they prescribe medications.  Originally, once a person slipped below a count of 350 they were treated.  Now that's up to 500.   The men were getting to these lower levels  2 - 3 times faster than the women.

I'm not interested in the actual article for my purposes today.  I want to point out there are many variables in how HIV impacts people.  Obviously gender is a factor.  There are also things like access to food, good shelter, psychological well being, previous state of health & healthcare, etc...

The very nature of HIV, plus these myriad of variables are some of the reasons this virus is so difficult to handle.  That's why more testing, education & earlier, consistent healthcare are needed to really start winning this battle with HIV.   This is not a simple problem.  There are an amazing amount of variables & obstacles to be dealt with in the war.

Cya...

Everything Seems So Much More...

I've had another bad night.  I woke up a quarter til 5 & there was no sign of sleep after that.  I've gotten up in hopes of tiring myself out for at least an hour more of rest.  I don't know if it will work. 

I hate nights like this.  My mind starts reeling on everything & it won't stop.  Stuff I might be able to handle during the day when I'm awake.  But not now.  

This seems to be happening more lately.  I can't shake the feeling I'm gong backwards with things.   There doesn't seem to be any sign of improvement in my situation & I doubt there will be.  Normally, I can make myself by into the tomorrow will be better thing, but not at night.

I just keep thinking about everything.  Its really nothing big, but it all starts to feel that way.  Maybe it is big stuff & I've just conned myself into believing it isn't.  

All I know, is its happening & I can't make my mind stop.   I'm beyond tired & frustrated.  I'm spent & things seem to be demanding more of me.  The trip to Tulsa is looming & it is already tiring me.  It hasn't even happened yet.

I'm not happy with much in my life at the moment.  I'm trying to figure out if I'm just having moments of depression or times when I can buy the crap I'm selling myself.  I don't want to speak  too conclusively when I'm this tired.  But if this is all my life has left in it, I'm not sure how much more of it I want.

I'm tired, frustrated & very insecure with things.  My strength seems to keep going to things I can't control & not to me. I'm just spent.  Hopefully, I'm feel better tomorrow.  I hate mornings.

Cya...


PS:  I tried to go back to sleep it didn't work.  I'm back up.  I hate this.  I look around at a room I've been in for over 6 years now.  It was supposed to be a temporary place, 5 years.  But here we still are.  I doubt I'll ever leave in a good way.  Every time  things start looking up, something quickly happens to stop it.  Sometimes, I really wish I knew how to how to just stop.

Attention Getting...

I took a little longer than I thought for the power to blip out, taking the net with it.  It did happen but came right back on.  Still the storms have been noteworthy.  Its likely there will be a lot of flooding from this.

On to other things attention grabbing.   Recently a magazine was printed in HIV + blood or so it claims.  Google it for the exact issue.  The point is the editor of the Vangardist claimed it did so to get people talking about HIV again.  

OK, yes there has been less communication about HIV than there were in the past.  Yes, we do need to rekindle those conversations.  But, was printing a magazine in blood really the right way to promote the issue?  

HIV is a serious topic & shouldn't be relegated to getting attention via stunts & gimmicks.  If they won't listen to the conversation, then we keep talking.  Eventually some will.  Unfortunately, many will only listen after HIV has impacted their lives. Provocative speech is important,  but stunts will only undermine the exchange.

Cya...

Possible Weather Issues...

Its dark & dreary here.  We've had storms going this morning.  Its probably just a matter of time before the net drops or the power blips.  So this will be short.  Stay safe & dry.  

Cya...

Shifts...

I rarely handle big weather shifts.   The last few days have been nothing but big changes in weather.    There's been a lot of rain, wind & pressure changes.  My head & body can attest to that last bit.  

Such is life in Oklahoma.  This state is all about erratic weather.   There's nothing I can do about that, except ride it out.

We've been riding it out a lot lately.  A little over a year ago, my roomie started her journey with cancer & a couple of surgeries.   After that, there have been a lot of doctors visits & follow-ups.   The final operation hadn't happened yet.  She was still waiting on that.

There've been some significant changes in here life since this point last year.  She's trying to make the best of it & she is.  Turns out life is just like Oklahoma weather, erratic & mostly unpredictable.

Cya...

More Discrimination...

I've talked a lot  about discrimination & stigma on this blog.  Often it's been in reference to actions in backwoodsy, podunk or 3rd worldy type places.   But never think the uber sophisticates of the urban world can't be just as prejudicial. 

This article talks about how surgeon in Manhattan refused treatment of a man due to his HIV status.    The doctor was informed his actions were illegal & it was eventually discovered his behavior  was habitual.  Now federal prosecutors are taking the doctor to court.

People try to play down the level of stigma & discrimination against HIV + people.  That's ridiculous.  The level of prejudice against + people is astounding & shows no signs of lessening.  Some complain when patients sue doctors.  But, in some cases what other choice was there?   If a single doctor can get away with refusing treatment, it could easily escalate to more doctors or even all of them.

Cya...

Not With It...

Yesterday & this morning have left me a bit frazzled.  I had to go pick up my roomie in Fort Smith yesterday & that drive can be surprisingly tiring.  We got home fine.  About an hour later, a corner the cats likes to frequent was showing signs of flea infestation.  Mainly, a couple jumped on me.  I go to spray them & run out of flea spray.  I have to vacuum.  I really didn't want to vacuum, but I needed to do it before the fleas spread even more.

Just as I'm finishing, I hear buzzing in the windows.   There are bees, a lot of them.  I look outside & there's a swarm on the side of the house.  I go to spray them & wouldn't know it, that spray peters out as well.  We wind up going to get more spray & I manage to drive back the bees & fleas. By then I was exhausted.  We got something to eat & went home & watched TV.

This morning we had some errands to run.  They weren't bad, but the weather is weird.  My head is achy & stuffy.  My whole body is stiff.  This is not a good day.  Hope everyone else is having a better day.

Cya...

Finally...

I hadn't heard about my benefits renewal since I had my interview mid-April.  I called, but I never received any notification.  I finally decided to check my card.  The 1 they add $ to.  If there were funds on it, they obviously approved me.  If not, I'd have to start calling them.

Fortunately, the funds were there.  I hate this process.  I started this mid-March when they told us we'd need to renew things.  I couldn't reapply until the 28th.  I turned everything on March 30th.  I had my interview April 13th.   Now finally on the 5th day of May I know.  That just took a month & a half.  No stress there.

At least its settled.  I have to get things around.  I need to do some stuff here & then pick up my roomie at here friend's in Fort Smith.  Have a good day.

Cya...

Another Month Off...

I  got sloppy & didn't even say good bye to April 2015 as it went out the door.  So long April & hello May.  Its been a nice month so far.

We got the month off to a good start by getting started on the bills this morning.   That's always a good feeling to have those done with.  A few more will roll in & they'll get handled as they show up.

We went shopping this morning.   It was a little weird.  It wasn't that busy, but the store was really picked over.

Not much going on today.  My roomie's appointment got cancelled, so there's 1 less thing for her to handle.  My allergies are acting up a little.  The neighbor just got through mowing.  So, it should pass.  For now our yard is mowed, edged & sprayed.  Go us!  

Here's hoping May is good month.

Cya...

Pleasant Day...

Its shaping up to be another nice day.  We just recently got rid of the 40's in the overnight temps.  It looks like the 50's will soon be following.  I hope it doesn't warm up too fast.  It'd be nice to ease into things.  I doubt I'll get my druthers on this.

Next week I'll have my doctor appointment with my regular doctor.  After that, I'll have to drive to see my specialist in Tulsa, because someone screwed up telemedicine again.   I'll do my best to make sure this isn't an ongoing thing.  Here's hoping there's good options in this matter.

I'm really annoyed with the Tulsa thing.  I'm trying not to dwell on it.  There isn't much I can do on the matter until I find out more about what's going on with everything.  So, I'll try to focus on other things.  Like how nice a day it is.

Cya...

Funny Things...

This is an article from the blog [imstilljosh].  Josh blogs about his experiences with HIV.  Judging by his blog, he's way more into blogging than I am.   This piece was about the funny things about having HIV, at least for those who are +.  

It may not be side ripping laughable, but I appreciate it.  Any 1 with a chronic illness has to learn to find the fun wherever they can.  If we didn't we'd gone nuts.

Ill or not, try to find the joy & laughter in your life.  I'm not always the best at this.   Sometimes, I down right suck at it.  But still, there are things I enjoy.  My new neighbors love of noisy machines is not 1 of those things.  But, the outdoor cats, the weird little birds & the random bright flowers are.

Cya... 

Tired...

I should've blogged earlier, but there wasn't much time.  We went shopping, then came back shortly before leaving to go to Fort Smith.  We had our outing & it was nice.  It also left me a little worn out.  I'm too scattered to blog well today, so I'll return tomorrow.  Have a good weekend everyone.

Cya...