"V" may be for vendetta, victory or even valor, but today it is for Villain. There's a villain in every story. There has to be, right? Without a villain, what would the hero do? What would the hero be? So there has to be a villain. This a common approach to writing in our culture & others. Unfortunately, we tend to let what we read bleed over into real life, even when it isn't necessarily so.
Much of writing has evolved past the common motifs of good versus evil, hero versus villain & the like. Too bad many people have not. Many still expect a villain behind all the vileness in life. Many expect that there will always be a bad guy in every situation. That isn't always the case.
I am +. I know that I did not do IV drugs & did not have any medical treatments involving blood, so that leaves me with sex as the means of transmission for my HIV. Is sex evil? No. It is an action & can not in itself be evil or any other moral descriptor, it simply is. I engaged in sex. Does that make me a bad person? No. I contracted HIV via sex. Now am I a bad person? Again, no.
So, a person I had sex with was + & transmitted the virus to me. Is that person morally questionable? I don't know. I am not sure when I contracted the virus, therefore I can't be sure of who transmitted it to me. Even though I was getting tested, somehow it didn't show. False negatives do occur. I have no idea how long I was actually + or if I transmitted the virus to anyone else. I sincerely hope I didn't.
If I didn't know, maybe the person that transmitted the virus to me was equally unaware of their HIV status. I can't & won't assume this person did this to me on purpose. Even if they did , it wouldn't do me any good to focus on it. It's a done deal.
The point here is simple, when you're sick, especially if you are +, people will look for answers. You will look for answers. There must be a villain of the piece. It feels so very Little Edie Bouvier Beale to say that. Sometimes though, there are no villains to be had. HIV is a disease, not a villain. Sex is not villainous. Being gay is not full of villainy. Being + isn't a matter or morality. Who or what's left to blame? Who cares? What good would it do you even if there was a villain? It wouldn't stop you from being +.
Unless you had some poorly handled medical situation or a criminal encounter, don't waste your time looking for the villains of your HIV story. It won't help you. It'll probably just drive you nuts. If someone wants to villainize you over being +, then don't waste your time on them. You'll never convince them you aren't the villain. That leaves you with two choices, walk on by & leave that person out of your life. Or you could get a really great black cape, top hat & a cheesy moustache. Either way, that accusatory person will always think what they were going to think, you can't change that. Simple fact of life, stupid people will always find a way to be stupid. There's a villain for you; indulgent, willful stupidity.
Cya
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