It's The Last...

It's December 31st.  2017 is down to mere hours, not even 12 left.  Soon, it'll be down to minutes & then seconds.  Then will be no more.

I'm trying to close out this year with less animosity than I've felt for most the last 365 days.  There have been some things I've liked.  Some I'm waiting to see how they pan out.   Even though most of the stuff I've enjoyed this year I was engaged in last year or before, there were some new things.   I liked the movies, The Martian, The Boy & The Beast, as well as Final Girls.  Most of the comics I liked wrapped up this year.  Most of the music I listened to was from earlier as well, but I did find Scissor Sister's SWERLK.   My roomie & I have been watching the Boulet Brother's Dragula.

As much as it's important to recognize the new, it's also pertinent to realize when you're over something.   We've hit that with a lot TV shows.  For most, it'll be just for the season, but may done with entirely.  It's OK to realize something you used to be into isn't working for you anymore.

It would've been easier to end this year gracefully, if it this morning hadn't coated the car in a layer of ice.   It was frigid & we had to wait for the car to thaw before going to the store.   If all goes well, we'll start the year off by going to see a friend tomorrow.

In 2018 I hope you will:

Take care of yourself

Be kind to people

Take care of the strays, even those that aren't 4-legged

Try to smile

Find some joy

Cya...

Good Bye 2017.

Tick Tick Tick...

Tomorrow is the last day of 2017.  My roomie is doing a list of her favorite things from the year.   She suggested I consider it.  I've been trying to, but I haven't succeeded.  2017 has been a really rough year on me.  It's mostly been about bad things or endings.   There were some TV shows I liked.  I thought FX's Feud turned  out well.   I like Christopher Kimball's, Milk Street.   But, nothing's really had me glued to my seat waiting for the next airing.

It probably has more to do with my headspace than these shows & things.   When I think of this year, I mostly remember being exhausted, anxious & stressed.  I can usually find things out my window to make me smile.  It didn't work as well this year.  I did enjoy the rabbits traipsing through our yard.   There were less Hummers & Dragons.  Less flowers & butterflies.  At least there were some lightning bugs.

I've never been the most here & now person, but I was a lot more detached last year.  Feels like I'm fading.  For now I'm here, but it seems like I'm just jumping from distraction to distraction.  It's like being in a video game where if you stand still too long, the floor will drop out from under you.  

I have nothing for 2018.  I don't really have any plans or hopes.  I went into the last several years with those & It only left me disappointed.  Do what you're going to do 2018.  It's not like I can really change any of it anyway.

To hell with 2017.

Cya...

PACHA Gone...

Back in June, 6 members of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS (PACHA) resigned due to Trump's inaction & attitudes.  According to this article,  the remaining council members were fired yesterday via a FedEx letter.  There was no warning or reason, just a notice of termination.  

So far, Trump has shown no interest in matters concerning HIV & has no course of action.   Pence, however, hates gays & anything he thinks is a gay issue, such as HIV.  Trump might not replace the council at all.  Or worse, he'll handle it like he does everything else.  He could appoint a bunch uneducated, bigots who will do their best to destroy everything in place to help fight HIV & those living with the virus.

2017 just had to get another dig in before it was over.  2017 needs to die & so does most every Republican in Washington. This party is bound & determined to destroy everything.

Read the article.

Cya...

Handled, I Think...

I think my car insurance issue is resolved.  It took nearly 2 weeks, but at least it's over.  I finished yesterday afternoon & made some calls this morning to confirm.  I will be with  a new company as of Feb 1, 2018.   I was beginning to think this was something I was going to drag into the new year with me.  I'm glad it didn't turn out that way.

There is more talk of 2-med approaches to HIV treatment.  Until now this has been treated as unwise, but some research is gaining traction.  It's still in the trial stages, so I'll wait to post more definitively about the matter.   Right now, 1 such trial is using 2 of the 3 medications that make up my Triumeq.   This could prove beneficial in reducing cost, possible reactions & drug interactions. 

Only 3 days left in the year.  Hope your years ends well.  May we leave some of the awfulness behind & not gain any more.

Cya...

Just 4 More Days...

There are only a few more days left in the year.  People are recovering from the holiday & readying themselves for the New Year.   I'm glad they're over.  There's only so long I can handle the holiday, nostalgia train.  It was fun enough, now lets get on with things.

I'm still trying to handle my car insurance issue.  I'm waiting for a call back, before I move on to the next option.   I really hate the fact they dropped this on me over the holidays.  

It got cold last night & is supposed to be down in the teens again tonight.  I HATE  cold weather.  My hands, toes, nose, breathing, skin, eyes & every other part of me hates cold weather.  To make it worse, I still see green grass in my yard.  Die, grass, die & take the bugs with you!

That's as post-holiday cheery as I can get at the moment.

Cya...

The 26th...

It's the day after Christmas.  I was hoping I'd be in a slightly better place by today, but I'm not.  It's been 10 days since I was made aware my auto insurance company was going out of business.  I've been trying to find out what I can to replace them, but the stupid holidays have collided with my efforts.  I really just wanted somewhat of a plan in place by today.  This just another reason I'm not overly fond of the holidays.  They always cause me issues dealing with business matters.  Businesses should have someone manning them at all times.

Here's hoping it doesn't take another week to get this resolved.

Cya...

Happy Holidays...

Short post.  I hope everyone is having a good holiday.  We're going to see a movie & we're short on time this morning.   More tomorrow.  

Merry Christmas.

Cya...

Eve Is Here...

It's Christmas Ever & I'm getting ready to start cooking food for tomorrow.  It won't be anything big, there's just the 2 of us.   Learning to cook less has been a good thing.  

I know for some of us, the holidays can be rough.  May you find some joy this season.  Even if it is just enough to get through the days ahead.

Just 1 more week & 2017 is out the door.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up.  But, maybe some copious amount of good will come our way in 2018. 

Take care & Happy Holidays.

Cya...

Winding Down...

Only 2 days left before the holiday.  Only 8 left in the year.   2017 is going away.  I've tried to do better this year with the holiday stuff.  The Christmas didn't bother me this, but everything else made up for it.  2017 has been exhausting.  I'm cold, tired & stressed.  My best source of diversion this morning, is some whacked out cardinal intent on killing itself on my window.  I have no idea why it's doing it, but it looks really pissed off at something.

I didn't take the blood pressure med yesterday & my numbers were back up this morning.  So, I took another dose.  This may be how I have to handle this medication.  

Not much is going on today.  Other than being sick of grey skies.  At least the chilly rain stopped for a bit.  I know we need the precipitation, but that drizzle was miserable.

More tomorrow.

Cya...

Holiday Weekend & New Med...

It's the holiday weekend.  It's raining & chilled down almost 30 degrees since yesterday.  Yippie, another abrupt weather change.  My body loves those so much. 

My blood pressure was a higher than desired yesterday, so I took the medication my doctor prescribed.  By evening, it had dropped considerably.  Almost 20 points.  My blood pressure usually goes up throughout the day.   

This morning I woke & my blood pressure was significantly lower than the same time yesterday.  I opted not to take today's dose.  If the med drops my numbers like it did yesterday, then I'd be dealing with low blood pressure.  My roomie will be out this afternoon & I'd be by myself.   I don't want have my blood pressure bottoming out & be alone.  Doesn't sound like a good idea.  I'll check my numbers again this evening & tomorrow morning.  I'll decide what to do then.

Stay safe & warm.  Have a great weekend.

Cya...

Happy Solstice...

Yule is here & the 12 days begin.  The Oak King overcomes the Holly King & we begin our journey back into the light of the year.   Too bad, this means Winter's just begun.

We wanted to see the new movie, The Shape Of Water.  Doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon,  It's been out for various stages of release since the beginning of December.   I hope it gets here.  At least we still have our Christmas classic, Star Wars, to go see.

I started the new blood pressure med this morning.  I'm not sure how long it will take to notice any thing.  Cold weather always pushes my blood pressure up.   So far, so good.

Some how we've made it up to 70 F today.  The rest of the week is supposed to be seasonal  & then drop into colder temps for a while.  I hope it won't be too cold.   I don't want to freeze or bust pipes.

That's about it for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Back From Docs...

Back from the doctor's office.  Not surprisingly, my blood pressure was a little.  I'm annoyed.  It's cold.  I was coughing.  My doctor was running way late & left me waiting.  He had a newbie doctor in training, who was more than a little annoying.  Other than that, everything else seemed OK.

He gave me a new prescription & told me to take it as I felt i needed it.  Sound stuff there.  anyway.  I picked it up & it's 90 day supply.  But he said to cut the pill in half so it's at least 6 months worth.

It's still cold & dreary.  I'm irritated, that I can't when the movie I wanted to see will actually come to our area.  Watch it not get here at all.  

That's it for now.

Cya...

Weather Aches & Drear...

For a few days it's been slightly above seasonal temps here.  There's also been a lingering drizzle.  It may actually rain harder today.  It might be a cold holiday, but it won't be a White Christmas.  

Warmer temps & higher humidity levels have left me achy & congested.  Add all the current drama to that & I'm feeling pretty off.  It feels more like a dismal Spring morning than beginning of Winter.

It's been overcast & cold all day.   There's only so long I can tolerate the heater, before it starts killing my eyes & making my sinuses worse than they already are.  I'm sore, stiff, congested & irritated.  

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.  It shouldn't be anything big.  Just a regular meeting to see how I'm doing.

That's all for now.

Cya...

Early Evening Meltdown...

So much for the year, "going softly into that good night."   No, it want's to go out like a mind razing, super b#tch.  I was already worn out yesterday.   My energy was spent & nerves frazzled.   I thought, it's dark, soon I'll be in bed & this day will over.  The last of 3 Sundays of 2017 would be in my rear view mirror.  I could do this. 

HAH!

On the 351st day & the tail-end of the 50th week of the year, crap still falls on me in December.  Read my previous posts throughout the years about this month.  The 12th month of the years sucks.  It's always horrible for me.

Besides all the things I've already posted about this month.   Sometime in the late afternoon, my car insurance company snuck me an email.  I found this missive in the early evening.  It arrived on a Sunday when no one would answer my calls or online chat requests,  What did they say?  My insurance informed me they would not be renewing my coverage after this term expired.

I lost it.  I hate December.  I hate companies that don't have 24 hour assistance for their services.  At that moment, I hated absolutely everything.  I had to wait until this morning to find out why 21st Century was dropping me & passing me off onto a company I'd never heard of before.  Who the hell is Bristol West even?

Turns out, Farmers Insurance bought my agency & is closing the entire company down.  The new company, Bristol West, is another Farmers company.  I'm not sure how much I want to do with Farmers at this moment, after this mid December nerve bomb.

So, now as the year closes out, I can't relax & enjoy it.  I have to figure out a new insurance company.  I am not a happy camper.  December Sucks.  

My patience, energy, nerves, tolerance, etc.. is all on empty & I don't see a refill coming soon.

Cya...

Sorta Blitzed...

Between the weather & all the political BS going on, I'm feeling out of it.   It actually rained some  last night.  It caused such a change in pressure, my head was pounding this morning & I'm still  congested.    That's what hot tea is for.

I really had hoped to end this month, this year, on a better note, than the rest of 2017.  That doesn't seem likely.  I can't even come up with something upbeat to write about in this post.

Well, at least we got a little rain.

Cya...

I Get It...

Since the Republicans have taken over things, they've made it clear unless you're be rich, white & exactly like them, you aren't wanted.   They've attacked the poor, gays, disabled, elderly & others.   With their tax plan  &  repeal of net neutrality, they've told everyone to F'off & die.  

I read about states losing funding for insurance for children, elderly & the disabled.  Missouri has announced it will stop funding those with HIV.  What these Republicans are saying is that they hate these people & want them to die.  

Its depressing & unnerving.  Most of us who face stigma, have done so our entire lives.  You might think  we'd be used it, but you'd be wrong.  It doesn't surprise us anymore, but it can get unbearable.  To wake up every morning & know there's a large part of the population that hates you & there's nothing you can do about it, that's beyond tiresome & overwhelming.  

Not once, in any significant way, have I ever truly been on the winning side of things.  Somehow, I've always managed to be on the wrong side of every door.  You tell yourself it doesn't matter, but after a while all that hate & anger being aimed in your general direction begins to grind you down.  It's not a single thing, it's the landslide of crap these people have launched at you.

I'd love to tell you there's a way to handle this, but I haven't found any.   I'd love to tell you things will get better, but I doubt that.  I'd love to tell  you this will pass, but I don't want to lie to you.  Even if it is temporary & things do get better, you still have to live with knowing what they were willing to do to you.  Just because you weren't their kind of people.

At this point, I'm tired & out of places to retreat.  I've tapped what I can, there's nothing much left.   I don't think I've ever wanted people hurt more than I do at this moment.  To all those people who got the Republicans to this point of power, I wish upon you the worst of things & every pox.  May Lovecraft be right about the universe.

Cya...

Busy Maybe...

I'm writing this early.  Depending on how I'm feeling tomorrow, I may have things to do.  If so I could run shy on time to write a post.  I know I need to go shopping in the morning, but there might be more.  Like I said, it depends on how I feel then.

Today wasn't a pleasant thing.  The Republican asshats in the FCC repealed Net Neutrality.  Hopefully, someone can figure out a way to remedy that matter.  If not, things could get rough.   

I've been really nervy lately.  My HIV specialist's office called this afternoon wanting me to have more blood work drawn.  Mind you, this wasn't for me, it was for them.   They wanted me to get stuck, have blood drawn, get bruised & have to pay for it,  all for their grant.   I don't think so.  If they want me to do these test, they can at least foot the bill.

I might feel up to writing more tomorrow.  Then again probably not.  Take care.

Cya..

Potty Talk...

If you've been on HIV meds, you've seen the possible side-effects list.  These meds, like others, can  cause a host of gastrointestinal issues ranging from upset stomach to nausea, but most commonly diarrhea.   It isn't just HIV meds, any long term regimen will likely affect your digestive system.

This article is about HIV+ people & diarrhea.  The number of people who are + & suffering from constant diarrhea is incredibly high.  Every single medication I've taken since being diagnosed has had a laundry list of side-effects causing gastrointestinal issues.  Since I've been on HIV meds, I've dealt with these things nearly constantly:

• Diarrhea & gastro issues
• Skin & scalp issues: hair loss, excess sebum, cracked skin & scaling
• Headaches & body aches
• Fatigue
• Emotional exhaustion & anxiousness

Later, I developed thyroid issues, more sensitivity to cold & issues with my feet.  On top of that, everything you might have anyway, will probably be exacerbated by being HIV+.  These medications bring their own issues to the party.  You need to be aware of these things & keep track of them.

Cya...

Another Wednesday....

I'm being forgetful today.  I keep trying to make it any other day but Wednesday.   I should've already gathered up trash, but I forgot about it.   I'll get it when I finish here.  

Our weather is being erratic. It's cold & dry, then a lot warmer &/or more humid.  It's not being kind to me.  I'm dealing with a lot of sinus drip & therefore nausea.  Yuck.   It's better today, but still there.

I have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday morning.  It's just a regular meet & recap type of thing.   Other than that & some holiday, were mostly through this year.  

That's about all for now.  

Cya...

Not Many More Tuesdays...

Nothing much is going on here today.  It got warm yesterday, into the mid 70's.  Then promptly dropped 40 degrees down to the mid 30's.    That was not a pleasant thing to experience. 

I didn't see much in regards to articles today.  There's still a lot of political ick going on, none of any good.  I doubt we'll see anything good until that cheeto is gone.

Today's temps are more seasonal for us.  Everything's fairly quiet today.  Which is rare for my neighborhood.  These people love their noise.  

There are only 8 days left until Solstice, 12 until Christmas, 19 in 2017.  It's nearly closing time.  Hope when everything reopens, it's better.  Finger's crossed, but I'm not holding my breath.

Cya...

Shopping Yuck...

OK, we went shopping & ran some errands this morning.  I'm running a bit behind.  This will be a barely there post.  Got home & tried to place an online order that turned out to be a minor issue.  I've got things to look out, so this is it for now.  Until tomorrow.

Cya...

On The Rise...

I read articles about how HIV rates are rising or threatening to do so soon.  It's come down to 1 thing, rhetoric.  Some group's BS philosophy supported by their politics, class or religion is leading to the spread of HIV.  Groups promote ignorance, stigma, misinformation & hate towards the very idea of HIV & villainize people who are HIV+.  These groups:

• Cut funding
• Spread hate
• Misinform & misdirect
• Make + people come off as sinners or impure

All of this is done so these groups can maintain control.  They control the rhetoric.  They control the funds.  These are not "good" people.   They are manipulative, hateful, violent & deceitful.  

If HIV does surge again.  It will be due to people like these spreading their hate & lies.  All the while wrapping themselves in their religion/politics like they're some kind of saint.  Don't fall for it.

Cya...

Winter Skin...

Dry & itchy skin is here.  The problem is, it's been here all Summer due to the lack of rain.  Now, however, the socks, house shoes, & heavier clothing are making things worse.   My skin is getting dried out due to warmer baths & cotton socks.   Layers of clothes lead to more sweating, chafing & irritation.   Too much cold leads to chilblains.  Too warm leads to other issues.  

The morning coughs are back.  As soon as I leave my nice warm bed, the cold hits me.  I get around as quick as I can & get the stoves lit.  Then, as it warms back up, I begin to cough.  I can't stay in bed forever, so facing the cold seems inevitable.  Thus, so is the coughing.

Winter sucks.  The grass is still green, Everything else is yucky brown. The cat still has a few fleas.  There are still other bugs.  Yet, I'm freezing.

Cya...

Teens...

Short post,  I have to run over to Fort Smith & there weren't any articles I wanted to discuss today.  We dropped down into the teens overnight.  That is seriously out of my comfort zone.   I woke to 18 F outside.  It's nearly 11 AM & it's just 33.  We're supposed to be in the 40's today.  At least it's bright out for now.  

I guess that's it for now.

Cya...

Nippy...

It got down into the 20's last night & it's supposed to dip into the teens tonight.  I could live without getting that cold.   There was dripping all night, so the pipes wouldn't freeze.  I doubt I'll ever be a fan of Winter.  

We finished bill paying this morning.  Afterwards there was shopping.  Now, we're home & staying that way for the day.

Not much else for today.  Stay comfortable.  Winter has come & I want to exchange it for a warmer month.

Cya...

Heaters On...

Last night was the 1st time this year we lit the heat stoves.   We made it all the way to December 5th.  It was down to 32 F by 9 something last night.  It didn't get much colder, but it was a wet cold.  For the 2nd time this year, the water was left dripping.  Don't want any frozen pipes.    It always takes a bit to get used to the heaters.  They don't make breathing easy. 

So we held out until just a little more than 2 weeks before the Solstice.  It was a good run.  But, now it's cold.   Someone should tell the grass in my yard that.  It's still quite green.  Other than what's on the evergreens, most the leaves have fallen.  Autumn, your days are numbered.

Take care.

Cya...

Last Round...

This morning, we began the last round of bill paying for 2017.   We've still got a couple of things to handle, but mostly 2017 is paid for & zeroed out.   This is always a good feeling for us.  It means another month is handled.

There's not much going on beyond that.  It's chilling down & the colder temps are here to stay,  I wish it was brighter, but the drear is probably here for the duration as well.  

We actually got some rain last night about .5".  That's about .5" more than we got in November.  Still, we're under a burn ban.  Yes, maybe I'll get a break from all the leaf burning.

My roomie made it back & her appointment went well.  I have a doctor's appointment later this month.    Other than some holiday stuff, the month should be pretty quiet.

Take care.

Cya...

Quiet Morning...

I'm solo this morning.  My roomie had a doctor's appointment this morning & will be out until this afternoon.    I'm not sure you'd call this a pleasant outing with her friend.

This will be the last nice day for a while,  It'll be our last day in the 70's for the season.   The 10-day forecast has us mostly in the 50's during the day & hovering at or just below freezing at night.  Might finally have to turn on the heaters.  This was a record year for us.  The longest we'd gone before was Thanksgiving day.  We've had them on in October.

I'm doing as well as I do.  I'd be happier if people would stop burning leaves.  It's killing my sinuses.  Leaves aren't like wood.  They get covered in insects, fungi, mold & other nastiness.  They smoke like crazy & spread whatever was on them into the air.  Thanks, I needed your moldy, mildew ridden, honeydew flying into my face.  

My plans today are to do some laundry & some cooking.  Other than that, not much.  Take care.

Cya...

My Predictions...

My prediction for the near future is there will be a rise in the global transmission of HIV.  Why?

• Russia hates Gays & anything they associate with being Gay, like HIV
• Russia allows websites promoting the idea that HIV is a Western myth
• Hong Kong & other places are cutting funding to HIV testing/treatment 
• Large amounts of charitable funds are tied to no-abortion clauses
• Said same funds are usually associated with Planned Parenthood like orgs
• Conservative Americans are anti-Gay & promote HIV stigma
• Many conservative Americans are anti anything not WASP
• Trump's administration gives HIV lip service at best

These are just some of the reasons why I think it's likely HIV will surge in the coming years.  This is a direct attack on what the conservative, religious types see as immoral or against their beliefs.  This is a war of attrition.   

I hope I'm wrong.

Cya...

1st December Saturday ...

I've been avoiding the news.  None of it is doing me any favors.  I already know, I can only expect bad things from politicians.  

There wasn't much in the articles.  Just a lot of dissatisfaction with the Cheeto-In-Charge's poor handling of World AIDS Day.   I bet he stains Melania's hands orange.

Come on December, let's pick it up & be a good month.

Cya...

World AIDS Day...

Today is World AIDS Day.   It's a day for awareness, education, support & reaching out.   If you don't know for absolute certain your HIV status, go get tested.

It's also the beginning of December.  There are just 20 days until Solstice, 24 until Christmas & 30 for the rest of 2017.   Try to be a good month December, rise above the rest of 2017.

Cya...