After Rant...

OK, I'm a little calmer today about the crap news I got yesterday.   I'm not sure what happened to the telemedicine bus this time & honestly I don't care.   I don't have a lot of faith in doctors as it is & my specialist's office is racing towards destroying what little I have in them.   I'm not going to deal with that today though.

Today's topic is odd after yesterday's rant about my problems with my doctors & telemedicine.    No, I want to talk about something else, still related though.  Even though I'm having problems with specialist & the bust.  Even though I'm wondering if my pharmacy will actually deliver my medicine today like they're said they would.   Even though I think most doctors can be arrogant, greedy flakes.   I'm still fortunate.

Yes, I said fortunate.  I'm lucky, I actually have the luxury of having these issues to gripe about.  I have medicaid, not great medical coverage, but way better than no insurance at all.     I have access to doctors, specialists & mediation.  Many people still don't, even with the Affordable Care Act.

So, yes, my doctors can be difficult to deal with & very frustrating.  Yes, my pharmacy can be completely erratic.  I still am fortunate enough to have something.  I at least have this umbrella which is more than a lot of folks.  

Never say, "Things can't get any worse."  The universe will always prove you wrong.  So, this is me trying to be thankful.

Cya...

Seriously P.O.'ed...

OK, I'm just getting my morning crap around.  I'm trying to deal with stupid Windows updates & get them over with so they won't bother me for the rest of the day.   You know, trying to make my day a little less hectic.  I barely get that done & those idiots that run Telemedicine from my HIV specialist in Tulsa call me.

Oh we're sorry, but you're appointment's been cancelled.  Telemedicine is out again & we don't have an F'n clue about anything regarding the matter.  We're sorry for any inconvenience we've caused.  Like hell they are.  They aren't the people that will have to drive 2+ frickin' hours just to get there waster 30 minutes & then drive that far back again.

I'm not a big fan of change to begin with when it comes to my life.  At least not change I didn't try to orchestrate.    I'm especially hateful towards alterations that other people force on me due to their incompetence.   I'm wishing seriously bad things on whoever screwed Telemedicine over this time.  I hope they suffer unbearable migraines every time someone has to make the drive to Tulsa, because the messed up the bus.  Asshats!

My rant's over for now.  I suppose this is what I get for living in rural Oklahoma.  I'm not in a good place right now.

Cya...

Wet & Chilly...

Another chilly, wet spell has gotten to our area.  I could do without 1 or the other.  I can deal with the wet or the chilly, but both are just a little much right now.  We're almost in May & the overnight forecast is still in the 40's F.  

I had to go out this morning.  I needed to get blood drawn for  labs.  Hopefully, everything will go well with that.  Outpatient Services were incredibly slow this morning.  I'm normally in & out, but not today.  I was there for nearly an hour.  Glad I went as early as I did.  That's pretty much all for now.

Cya...

Proto Plans..

We don't always have the luxury of having all the info or forewarning.   Sometimes, often due to forces beyond your control, you will face situations you just weren't ready for,  They weren't on the list of to-do's.   They weren't even on the might plan-for's.

My roomie hit a situation like that today.  I won't go into to detail, but I'm happy with how she handled it.  Not that my opinion is the point here.  To begin with, she did handle it & not put it off.    Next, she  found out as much info as she could about the situation.  Then she made a preliminary plan.  Knowing this plan may not hold up, because it was put together with limited details, she also made contingency plans in case this 1 falls apart.

During these kind of situations, its OK to be annoyed or even angry.  If the instance is bad enough, panic is even a normal reaction.  Give yourself a bit to process those things, but only a bit.   Those emotions need to be recognized, but they won't fix the situation. 

Once you've recognized the problem.  You need to take the time to process what it means & how you feel about it.  After that you can move ahead with actual strategizing.   Just understand your initial plan may not hold & you may have to make some decisions on the fly.  That's not optimum, but sometimes it can't be avoided.  

The plan will probably need kinks worked out, but that's the nature of things.  Plan making is a great skill to have.  Having some basic strategies always make things easier.  You need to think ahead a bit.  Things do happen that we weren't expecting.

Cya...

Another Nice Day...

The weather is pleasant today; no rain, no wind, no high allergens.  We don't have anything planned for today, so its pretty laid back.  I have to get blood drawn this week for my lab work.  Other than that, its pretty much the same old, same old for me this week.  I hope this weather holds for a while.  Its nice to have a nice, sunny day that's not too hot.  

Hope you've had a good weekend.

Cya...

The Indiana Saga Continues...

The outbreak of HIV, Hep C & who knows what else continues in Indiana.   In what was a reasonably  avoidable incident of mass HIV transmission, the state's conservative politics plunged it into a disease situation so serious the threat is now recognized by the federal government & the CDC.  

Recently, the governor has shot from the hip with a little-too-little attempts to control the situation.   However, not everyone's been on the same page with those efforts.   The only thing for certain is that this will get worse before it gets better.  

This county is starting to feel the sting of the outbreak as well.  Shop owners are losing sales from out of town folks, who are choosing to go elsewhere.  There's been reports of tension at local sporting events aimed at local kids.  

Now, the stigma of HIV is starting to carry over to the whole area.  This area will be known as that poor, little area of drug users that spread all those diseases.  Soon, if you're from this area, people will just assume your HIV + or have Hep C or both.  They'll probably think you're a drug user.

A lot of people are going to pay for something that could've been avoided.  Testing & education in regards to HIV, STD's & drugs could've gone a long way here to lessened the impact of this situation.  But those type of things are big No-No's in the conservative landscape.  

Who knows where this will end?   I don't.  But I do know that a lot of people are going to be + & possibly infected with other illnesses as well.   I know this area will have a public relations nightmare for years to come.  I know this is far from over.  Way to go Indiana.  Thanks for making Oklahoma looking less crazy.

Cya...

Yet Again...

This article is about a Pennsylvanian doctor settling a discrimination case against a + man & his family.   The results of this legal action are good, but the article just points out acts of discrimination against + people flourish in our country.  They're prevalent among medical workers who should know better.  

These articles reporting medical prejudice & negligence in regards to HIV & those living with it come way too often.  This isn't new.  HIV is a well understood phenomenon,  No reasoning behind an act of discrimination versus a + person is justifiable.  No act of medical negligence regarding any infectious disease is excusable.  

How are people supposed to come out into the open about their HIV status if they can't even trust their doctors?  They can't.  Most of them can't risk the consequences of others acts of hatred, fear & ignorance against them & their families.

Sorry to go all sci-fi on you here, but it's like Yoda said.  "Fear is the path to the dark side.  Fear leads to anger.  Anger leads to hate.  Hate leads to suffering."  A lot of the USA is already on the dark side.  This is a time of fear mongering & marketing hatred.  Sounds like conservative politics & most religious ideology to me.

Cya...

Down South...

For the last week a lot of articles have been detailing the continued woes of HIV in the deep South.   Some writers words were laced with bewilderment, but most were exasperated with the situation.  This isn't new.

It isn't even a surprise.  The south has had the highest regional transmission & lowest survival rats for HIV in the US for years.  The reasons are obvious.

Most of these people were talking about are fringe types & not considered worth the time of the wealthy & political.   These people keep voting Republican & keep getting screwed over by it.   The poor, gay, ethnic, female, etc... aren't really all that important, are they?

This area is rife with poverty & corrupt politics.  Its been that way for as long as there have been states.   These politicians won't open the medicaid in their states & have fought Affordable Care at every point.    Most of these people have no insurance or real access to healthcare.

Add to that, the ridiculous level of religion in these states & its no wonder things are the way they are.  They say it isn't HIV that kills you, but the stigma.  Stigma runs rampant down south.  A place where just about anything can happen to you for whatever reason, like being gay or +, & no one will do anything about it.  Worrying about who knows your status is a real concern.   So, a lot of people never get tested.

Poverty, politicians, religion, lack of healthcare, stigma, take your pick.  These are why the southern HIV situation is the way it is.  These are the reason the South won't be getting better anytime soon.  

Cya...

Dark & Gloomy...

The sky's very overcast this morning.  It'll probably rain soon.  If not, its just a lot drear for nothing.  

The house is quiet. Nothing but the dryer making any sound at all.  The cats are all sleeping & my roomie is headed to an appointment>  She'll be gone most the day.

I'll take out trash later.  But right now, I'm just trying to get through my other Wednesday stuff.  

There's a movie I need to watch.  Hopefully the net will behave well enough to let me see it.  There's always an uncertainty on these matters when the weather's iffy.

I need to go get blood drawn for labs next week.  I have a specialist appointment & a regular exam next month.   I'm not foreseeing any problems.  

That's all for now.

Cya...

Going Healthy Backfire...

My roomie & I have been trying to eat better for a while. 1 of those ways was having beans on the weekend.  Beans are healthy, cheap & diverse.  You can fix different beans & styles & change everything up. 

We've tried an approach to great northern beans that just isn't working out for us.  The recipe cooks them as normal, but adds a bunch (bag of frozen) collard greens.  We liked them.  They didn't like us.  My stomach was a little put off the 1st time we ate them, I just brushed it off as allergy induced stomach yuck.

This time, my bodies reaction was far worse.  These beans & greens were giving me all sorts of gastrointestinal issues.   Jill Scott has this quote from her song Love Rains Down,  "Wide open, wide loose like bowels after collard greens."

My stomach doesn't need any help being difficult.  My meds do that well enough.  I certainly don't need to sympathize with a lyric like that.

So, this attempt to eat healthier is being adjusted.  The beans will stay.  But just say no to collard greens.  

Cya...

Chill Down..

We had an abrupt storm yesterday.  The storm was expected, the hail wasn't.  Hail poured down for almost 20 minutes & covered the yard.  The rain was still pouring & the wind roaring.  The trees lost a lot of leaves.   After it ended, everything was covered in bumpy ice.  The heat of the ground quickly melted the hail causing a 15 minute steam bath.

This happened so quickly & harshly, some local weather equipment read the temperatures had fallen way below -20 F.   Of course it hadn't.  The  equipment was just overwhelmed.  It quickly reset.  Even so, the temperatures did do a pretty significant drop.  This morning was a little chilly & it still hasn't warmed up yet.

We were lucky.  So far, we haven't noticed any hail damage.  A lot of people in the area had significant damage from the storm.   The storm has passed for now & the sun is shining.  

Cya...

The Stupidity Of Indiana Worsens...

Never mind they have an outbreak of HIV in small town Indiana.  Forget the governor pulled his head out & started a needle exchange program.   The town's HIV rate which is already 20 times higher than normal for them, is still increasing.

Why?  Because the people who could benefit from this program are scared to take part init due to cops.  Yes, even though this is legal at this time, any person partaking in this this needle exchange program may find themselves targets of a raid.  Then they will have those needles confiscated & could face a felony charge of 3 years per syringe.

Most of these people won't risk being targeted by the police.  So, they'll continue as is & the virus will continue to spread.  Seriously stupid cops.    Just another sign of how conservatism will always fail in any dealings with HIV, drugs or the poor.  But, that's pretty much how they like things.

Cya...

Stupid Arguments...

I've been writing a about the HIV outbreak in Indiana.  The primary cause was IV drug use.  This could've been prevented via a clean needle exchange program.  But a STUPID, conservative argument curtailed such programs.  The same approach slashed at providing condoms, sex ed  & methadone .  

These idiots that call themselves conservatives argued providing needles, condoms, information about sex or methadone was tantamount to encouraging drug use & promiscuity.  This reasoning was flawed when it was 1st envisioned & is seriously unethical now.

Every time these approaches have been employed via removal of sex ed, restraining access to condoms, eliminating methadone centers & the like, it has only ended in horrific failure.  No abstinence program has ever worked, nor will they.  Their use resulted in higher teen pregnancy rates.  After years of decline due to access to birth control & sex ed.

This gateway idea is ludicrous.  Just because you offer condoms doesn't make people have sex.  Just because there are clean needles, won't make people decide to use IV drugs.  Wake up, this perspective is wrong.  The people who promote this type of thinking don't care about anyone impacted by their actions.  They only care about their ideology.   So what if a bunch of people got HIV via needles.  At least we got our way.

Cya...

Still Spreading...

The news keeps talking about the outbreak in Indiana.   I'm not sure why anyone is surprised about this. They didn't do anything to prevent it.  In fact, they did quite the opposite.   The family planning center in the area closed due to restraints  placed by the  state.  It was 1, if not the only, place that had free testing for HIV.

Overly conservative Indiana wasn't promoting HIV education, testing or anything else that might have prevented this outbreak.  This wasn't a surprise.  This area is very destitute.  It has high  rates of unemployment &  drug use.  This was mostly a matter a dirty needles.  Only recently did the government open a needle exchange program.  

What happened in Indiana was preventable.  However, the means of prevention clashed with some peoples ideologies.  Therefore, any measure that could've been taken was refused.  Now, its too late.  The virus has spread more.  You can't go running barefoot through a yard you know is full of stickers, burrs & bees, then complain when you got stuck or stung.

Way to go Indiana.

Cya...

Spider Mites...

Having to run some errands today.  I lost a flowering bush earlier this week.  Well, I lost most of it.  The leaves were covered in small tangled webbing.  We have spider mites.  

I'm trying to find an affordable miticide.  If I can't I'll be stuck using diatomaceous earth.  It works somewhat but its a serious mess.   

Hopefully, I can get these thing under control or we could lose the bushes in the yard.  I've seen them on the azaleas, the lilac, rose of sharon & the crepe myrtles.  

Off we go, to buy some miticide.  This will probably be the last dry day this week. More yard bother.

Cya...

Bogged Down Net...

There seems to be some sluggish issues with the net today.   Everything is taking forever & requiring a lot of reloads.    That's been real fun since Windows did another large update today.  Yippie.  Then you have to restart your PC.  Then of course there are more updates waiting for you,  Oh Joy.

I've got a lot of little stuff to tend to so this will be brief.   Hopefully, this net issue will be over later today.  I've already had to reload this blogger page 3 times.  I'll be lucky if it saves anything.

Cya...

Sort Of Against The Grain...

There are several articles out about Victoria, Australia  pushing for the repeal of a 90's law passed to criminalize the intentional spread of HIV.   I'm of 2 minds on this.  As the law stands now, it seems to be entirely aimed at HIV transmission.  That's just stupid.   What if I purposely gave someone TB, Hep C, Ebola or some other life threatening disease?  Would that be just honky dory?  From what I can tell of this law, it couldn't be used against such a case.

This law shouldn't be limited to HIV, it should be include the active, knowing transmission of any serious illness that could result in death or permanent alteration in a person's life.  HIV is far from being the top killer among diseases.

While, I do think the law should be altered to be more applicable to other diseases, I don't think it should be eliminated.   I'm sure I'll get hisses from that, but whatever.  To intentionally spread HIV should be a punishable offense.   It might not kill a person these days, but it will forever alter their life.  

They say that laws like this will only further ostracize + people.  I call BS on that.  Its simple, once you know you're +, don't screw around.  There is no such thing as safe sex, only "safer."  This isn't a matter of consent either.  No one can knowingly consent to becoming HIV +,  There's no way, that any one not infected with HIV, can fully understand what its like to be +.   

That's like me saying I understand what its like to be a severe diabetic.  I've know people who were.  I've even known someone who died of diabetes.  Still, I don't know what its like to have that ailment.

Any knowing transmission of HIV should be viewed as an act of aggression.  There should be serious sanctions against it.   It costs the infected, those around them & whoever is actually paying for the care of the infected.   HIV isn't the chicken pox or even a cold.  It won't be cured in the foreseeable future & it can kill you.  

Cya...

Waiting...

Not going to post much today.  I'm waiting for a call from social services to go over my benefits renewal.  All I can do is wait. Hopefully, this will go well.  There's not that much more I can do about it.  I don't foresee any problems, but you never know.  More tomorrow.

Cya...

Pleasant Day...

Today is turning out to be rather pleasant so far.  The weather's nice & my allergies aren't being hellish.  The forecast says we could have some bad storms tomorrow.  But, for now, its nice.

I can be a hard thing for me to live in the moment.  I'm usually trying to prepare things a few steps ahead or thinking of other things.   Sometimes its nice just to be in the now & forget the rest even for just  a moment or so.  Its not something I do well.

We clipped some winter bushes back yesterday.  The bushes usually obscure the view.  Now I can see the yard & get more light.  We leave the bushes high during the Winter, because  birds hide in them & eat the berries.  Its Spring & those birds have other options.

For the moment, I'll try to stay in the now.  

Cya...

Allergy Med Hell...

I've talked before about how I don't handle taking allergy meds for extended periods very well.   Turns out other than over drying out my sinuses & some nose bleeds, there are other issues as well.  These I wasn't even associating with the meds until I did some more digging. 

I admit there's been a lot of holiday candy in the last few months, but not enough to count for how weight I've gained back.    I've just been really hungry the last several months.   Turns out a lot of people on allergy meds like Claritin report that.  It can also led to inflammation.    After waking up feeling like a blimp, I started doing some research.  

This med can also lead to issues with sleep, anxiety & depression.  Just Freakin' Yippie!  The real kicker for me was 1 of the primary reasons I started taking allergy meds.  It can cause irritated, blurred vision & red eyes.  That was just a wonderful find.

I should've researched this more, but most of these weren't on the manufacturers list of reactions.  Never trust their list to be complete.  I should've & did know that.  I just got careless.  If you're having an issue with a med, Google it.  Its almost certain someone else is having the exact same issue you are.

From now on, unless I'm just miserable, the allergy meds a no go.  I guess, I'll just have to stick to allergy drops for my eye issues.  Those things work, but there's always that initial sting.  Oh well, lesson learned.

Cya...

The You Show...

People spend a lot of time telling us, "Its not all about you" or "Its not the 'You' show."  OK, maybe some of us do get a little limelight happy.  But, there are times, when  the stage is yours, so sing on.

There are a lot of articles about living with HIV.  How it really isn't that bad anymore.  A lot are by people who aren't + & are speaking entirely 2nd hand.  To those people, please shut up.  Then there are those articles written by + people.  These range from life with HIV is horrid to its like living a freaking musical.  

Go ahead & read all those articles you can find.  There might be something in them that makes your life a little easier.  If you do, that's great.  But, if you don't, those are other people's words & other people's stories.  This is your's.

There are a lot of + people in the world.  Many share common characteristics beyond having HIV, but some don't.   I'm white, gay, in my 40's living in rural Oklahoma.  I'm not sure how much in common I have straight, + woman in Moscow or anyone from South Africa.

A lot of articles & people are going to have opinions & information regarding your HIV.  Take what you can use & dump the rest.    Having HIV is a weird thing, there are a lot of common things about, but everyone of our experiences will be somewhat different.

In this case you are the special snowflake & its your show, your song, your stage.  So fill it up.  No one else will.  Pick an anthem from "Its My Party," to "Its My Life" & let it roar.

This is your journey.  I hope you find people to help you along the way.  There's no yellow brick road or a wizard.  There's no going backwards, so forward is the only option.  Just do it your way.

Cya...

Hello Thursday...

Not much going on here today.  We went shopping & the trash-men took the garbage away. Those are probably the highlights of my day.  Exciting.  There's a possibility of some serious weather later in the day.  They've been saying that for days now.

There's some activity in the research front regarding using immunological proteins from people who have a greater resistance to HIV.  They're studying if this approach could cure or at least aid in treating HIV.    What's out so far is fairly vague.

That's about it for now.  

Cya...

Yucky Muggy Polleny...

Last night was our 1st seriously muggy night, at least in my room.  It wasn't that bad for me until I was watching TV/  The chair better at the TV is velour.  Velour is hella hot.  When I finally got to bed, I was having problems breathing from all the pollen.  It was a vapor rub night for me.  Again, it was supposed to rain & again, it didn't.  

The humidity is nasty & made taking trash out fairly unpleasant.   I'll get used to the heat.  I'll grow more tolerant of the humidity.  But, this pollen crap needs to go. Spring didn't used to be a bad allergy season for me.  It used to be just Fall.  Now, its blasted year long.  

Thanks to it being muggy & the pollen, I do feel pretty yucky.  Hope its better where you're at. 

Cya...

A Not Much Tuesday...

I'm not sure why we were having so many power blips yesterday, they stopped by mid afternoon.  It was supposed to rain a lot last night, it didn't.  Those chances scooted into today.  We'll see.  If figures they moved.  I have to drive over to Fort Smith later & pick up my roomie. 

She handled her assistance renewal call yesterday.  There's a letter coming she needs to sign & return.  I finally received notice for my call yesterday, its supposed to happen on the 13th.  A week after my roomie's, even tough both applications were turned in at the same time.  I guess they're going alphabetical.  Hopefully, this will all be settled next week.

Have a great day.

Cya..

The Monday After...

We went shopping this morning.  It was the Monday morning after Easter.  That meant 1 thing, discounted candy.  I have to be careful during these times or I can get like Templeton the rat from Charlotte's Web at the fair.  Still I managed to get a decent amount.  Now, not to eat all at once.

OK, I've had 2 power blips while trying to write this post. I doubt they'll stop any time soon.  I'll wrap this up & hopefully, they'll be gone by tomorrow.

Cya...

Happy Chocolate Bunny Day...

Today is the day of chocolate bunnies.  If you're lucky, your's will be solid & of good quality.   If not, it might be an inferior chocolate,  It might go as badly as to be hollow, or worse filled with marshmallow goop.  May all the stars align & let you find your way to a good bunny.

Then there are the eggs.  Some are boiled, some malted & some are really just jelly beans.  Still, I'm rather pleased with any of them.

Then there are those awful marshmallow creatures, Peeps.  I don't care for them.  I also don't care for my basket to be filled with candies I can get all year long that have just undergone a holiday make over, like egg-shaped, peanut butter cups.

Other than bunnies, I always like the sugar eggs.  They're getting harder to find these days.   I also liked the large, creme filled eggs.  I think the coconut was my variety of those.  You can keep the Cadbury creme eggs, I'm not a fan.

May your chocolate bunny day go well.  Happy Hunting.

Cya...

1st Saturday...

Another 1st weekend of the month.   April is here & tomorrow is Easter.  Other than the candy, I really don't care.   As I've said before, the importance of any holiday to me, is directly correlated to the amount candy or other good foods I get out of it.  That's why Halloween rocks.

Not much going on here today.  It got a little chilly but that'll pass soon.  We haven't got much of the rain they've been forecasting.  It'd been nice if we had.  Maybe some the pollen would've fallen out of the air.

For those of you that celebrate Easter, in whatever form,  have a good 1.  For everyone else Have a great weekend.

Cya...

Computer Yuck...

I'm having some computer issues today.  I'll try to get this rectified & blog tomorrow.

Cya....

Another Month Underway...

March has left us for the & we've entered April.  Spring is here & the season is being testy with it's up & down weather.   Still March was a fairly easy month.   

April's here & we're in the middle of renewing our state assistance.  That's always a nervy process.  But, we've done what we can on our end for now. 

My roomie has an appointment this month.   I have to get some blood work drawn before May.  Other than that & dealing with a few birthdays & the like, April looks to be quiet for us so far.  I hope it stays that way.

Cya...

Mowed, Killed & Sprayed...

The lawn has been mowed, weed-killered & sprayed for bugs.  Too bad this is a regimen that will have to be repeated often.  I wish it could just happen once a season.  

2 weeks from now the lawn will need mowed.   I might get away with not spray weed killer for a whole month.  The bug spray is a monthly event to control the fleas.   They say it's a 3 month application, hah!  That has never been the case for us.  In small print it says the bug killer can be reapplied weekly.  If it's a 90 day application, why would I need to do it weekly? 

It looks like we're in for some bad weather the rest of the week. I'm glad I got this done early.   The bugs are already picking up.   I hate fleas.

On a high note, a single, red tulip has bloomed today.  There are others showing their heads, but this is the 1st of the season.  There should be an award for that.  

Cya...

BTW:  Spraying is not good for your allergies.