Cutlery & Other Measures...

Yesterday, my roomie sent me a link to an essay entitled, The Spoon Theory.  This was written by Christine Miserandino who suffers from Lupus.   While I don't have Lupus, we share many of the same issues.  Please read this & if you are chronically ill or have someone in your life that is.

It would be great if just every once in a while I could get a day where I didn't have to be +.  Not to be + for 1 day.  No drugs to take, no crappy health & all the energy I had before HIV.  That would be a miracle.  That isn't going to happen.  I am + & will remain so.  I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

Some people who look at me wouldn't know I was ill.  But my body tells me I am.  My labs tell me. The call from my pharmacy reminds me.  The doctors appointments remind me.  The constant health issues I deal with & the lack of energy force me to recognize on a daily & hourly basis that I am +.

If you aren't chronically ill, you just can't get it.  Even with Miserandino's essay you just can't.  The essay can help you to empathize, but not understand.  If you can't understand then you can't really sympathize with the situation.  I can feel shock, horror & even sorry for a person suffering from massive, 3rd degree burns, but I can't sympathize with them.  I've had a couple bad burns here & there, but nothing on those levels & nothing big.  So, I can feel empathy for their situation but I can't sympathize.

Chronically ill people are targets of the healthy on a daily basis.  The healthy don't get it, they can't see it, so they don't believe it's real.  They accuse us of being lazy or manipulative.  They point fingers & act superior. It isn't until one of them has to deal with it themselves or in someone close to them, they start to get it.  Then they act all apologetic.  I, for one, don't want your apologies.  I just wanted you to leave me be on the matter.   So, next time you see someone park in the handicap spot who doesn't fit your bill of needing it, stop  for a moment.  You don't know them.  You don't know their health situation.  You aren't capable of just looking a person & divining their health.  Hell, if we could do that, none of us would +.

Cya..