Not Sure...

I'm not sure what was up with me yesterday, it's not as intense so far today, but it was then.  It doesn't make any sense.  Sure there were irritants & worrisome things, but the intensity of my internal reaction to them was out of scope.  

What am I talking about?  Anxiety.  I spent a good part of yesterday nauseous, fractious, fretful & just plain tense.  Part of it was something I ate, but the rest of it remains elusive. 

With HIV & especially some of the meds, anxiety is just part of life sometimes.  It doesn't always need a good reason, it just shows up.  Sometimes, it takes a lot of little reasons to rise up to nerved out state.

Often, I have no real idea what set it off, but even if I do, it's hard to rationalize away anxiety.  It's not depression.  It's like a ticking. A ticking that's counting down to something bad about to happen.  You just don't know what or when.  The only thing you know is the bad thing is coming & it will be, well bad.  It's hard to take your focus of it.  But that's really the only thing you can do.

I'm not spinning with this as much as I was yesterday, but I'm still worn out from it.  Anxiety is taxing & frustrating.  It's easy to get upset for letting yourself get so wound up over nothing or something you can't do anything about.  That won't do any good of course.  

I'm trying to focus on other things.  I'm doing my best to let go of the tension,  Anxiety seriously sucks.

Cya...