Today is my sister's birthday. I used to make a notable effort to always call her either on or before the 30th to wish her a happy birthday. She will be 52 this year. That's so weird, because in my head she's a wild child teenager & I'm the little kid tagging along behind her. It's really amazing how you can grow so far away from people you used to be so close to. Amazing probably isn't the right word, but's close enough.
When I was about 8, my sister decided she'd had enough of all my mom's crap & moved out. It really wasn't much of anything for a 15 or 16 year old to move out on their own back then. That left me as the oldest in the house with that woman. I took care of household chores & my two younger brothers. Imagine leaving an eight year old to watch other children & to cook with no adult any where nearby. Yet, I still saw my sister fairly often.
When my sister was about 17, she married her first husband. The marriage was hell & lasted a little under eight years. I hated her husband with a passion. Too bad he's still among the living. I only saw my sister about a third of the time she was married to husband number one.
When I was a freshmen in college, she married again & is still married to this one. They lived a ways off & I only saw her once or twice. After that, they moved to Seattle. I was a junior in college when that happened & I haven't seen her since. Still I tried to keep in contact. That was difficult. It was before email (which my sister doesn't do) & my sister is a lousy letter writer.
It was in the mid 1990's before I really managed to reestablish contact with her again on a fairly regular basis. It was only via phone calls, but it was something. Over the years, I noticed that she called less & less. It eventually turned out to be I was the one making all the calls. We used to talk every other week or so. Now, it's maybe every other month & I think she's fine with that.
It took me a while to admit some things. My sister & I really weren't family anymore. She was someone/something from my past. One of the few things that I had managed to hold onto throughout my life. My sister probably feels too indebted to the idea of family to just not answer the phone. Finally, when my sister first moved out, all those years ago, I was angry. I understood she had to get away from our mother, but that meant I was there alone. I was never close to my other siblings, I'm still not. The one I was close to, left.
Over time, it turned into me being the only one calling. Her never remembering the holidays as far as I was concerned. So, I call once in November before Thanksgiving & give my happy holidays for all those to come, knowing she won't call me. If it took more effort than a phone call, I'd probably walk away from this altogether. Oh well, that's life.
Happy Birthday Sis...
Cya
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