Growing up, my brothers & me often found ourselves to the target of someone's pointed finger of blame. I admit with our mother & her other interests (alcohol) we were often left to our own devices & got into a lot of hell. But, no where near what we got blamed for. There wasn't time enough in 3 days to do what we got blamed for in a 24 hour period.
Then there were the genuine accidents. They were no better. With a drunk for a parent, you might as well have thrown the plate at the wall on purpose, as to having it slip through your slippery dish-soap covered fingers. Kids in this environment learn quickly to distance themselves from anything problematic that might get them blamed. These children know that no one will ever believe that they didn't do it, let alone they didn't do it with malicious intent.
We grow up avoiding situations where we could be blamed for anything. We cringe when something goes wrong or gets broken, even if we didn't have anything to do with it. We don't believe that any one will ever see that we are innocent of the accusation. Or, if we did have something to do with it, that it was an accident.
We learn that it is best to do whatever is necessary to avoid the blame. We misdirect, target others & sometimes even deny or lie about the situation. People say they don't like others who try to avoid accountability. However, those people sure seem to enjoy passing that blame onto others who had nothing, or as least nothing deliberately, to with the situation for which they are being blamed.
Yesterday my roomie took a trip & fell against the door near the hot water heater. She was embarrassed & a little bruised. Later I noticed there was a small leak on top of the water heater. It had been jolted when she bumped into it earlier. I wasn't too happy, but not at her. She was raised the same way I was & most likely on the edge of panic due to fear for being blamed. Yes, she fell into the water heater, but it wasn't on purpose. It wasn't her fault she fell & it wasn't her fault that the stupid water heater is in a ridiculous place with a door opening right up onto it. But still she feared the blame & the resentment that would've come from this situation if I had been some other person in her life.
Yes, I was upset, but at the idea of how is this going to get fixed. The Virgo wanted details & price quotes. I was pissed at this old house for breaking down once again . I was angry at yet another surprise & I've told you Virgos do not like surprises. In the end, it did happen & the only the thing to do is deal with it & move on with our lives. That's all you can do when crap happens in your life. It happens, you freak out a little, you make a plan/decision & you move on to the next thing.
Hopefully your life is being as boringly pleasant as it can be at this very moment. Enjoy the nothing moments.
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