For the last 3 mornings I've woke up around 6ish & it looked normal. But, by 7:30, these damnable clouds have rolled in & gloomed up my day. There hasn't been nearly enough rain for the amount of drear I've been forced to endure already.
In only 3 days, all I had left of Summer light has been used up & I'm trying hard not to get into a funk. I lay in bed & tell myself, it's just in my head. By the time I'm up & around, I know that isn't true. This damned drear makes me feel like crap. I hate this.
If the research I've been doing on light therapy doesn't pan out, I'm not sure what I'll be able to do. I can't deal with another Winter like last year. I just can't. I barely made it through that & this Summer has been a weak season at best. Most of the things I look forward about Summer failed to materialize to any decent level. Soon, my fliers will leave & I wish I could just go with them.
I'm just tired of all this. I keep trying for nothing. If the rest of this life is just going to be a downhill ride, then let the bottom drop out now. I refuse to invest any more of myself into a life I never wanted.
Cya...
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