For some, sleeping & dreams are a refuge from their lives. That's rarely been the case for me. My dreams are often more stressful than my real world. I don't usually do traditional nightmares. I do stress dreams full of frustration, anxiety & isolation. Most kids prayed they'd wake from their slumber safe & sound. I never did. I just wanted slip off into some nice place & not come back.
My dreams have been like my life, a revolving door in a building's foyer. It was never the nicest or most popular building, but it was interesting & unique. A lot of people came through those doors. Nearly all spun back out immediately. Some stayed a while, but most still left. Unfortunately as always, time marched on. The place my life & dreams resided in became derelict & abandoned. Few come through those doors & most only with a purpose they need to fulfill before taking their leave.
My dreams are pretty empty these days, except for stress & agita. I never found that place they talk about where you're safe & happy. Where life is amazing. Even if I have a good dream, somewhere in it, things always start to darken & go wrong. Friends get angry & leave. I suddenly see no one was ever there. I've played a lot of tricks on myself to get through life. They've left me hollow.
My advice. Screw hopes & dreams. They're empty promises that will only hurt you. Be selfish, it's your life. Get yours. Nobody will ever do it for you. I'm not saying don't have friends. But realize, real friends are rare. I have 1. I've had lots of people in my life who called me a friend, but in the end that meant party pal, bar buddy, acquaintance... A "simple prop" to occupy their time.
I wish I had pretty words & glimmering wisdom for you. All I have is cold reality. I hate it more than you could possibly know.
Cya...
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