Asked My Opinion...

I was chatting online with some young parents.  I'm not sure if that means they're younger, they had young children or both.  But they had questions for the group.   They wanted to know from the 40+ people what they wish their parents had taught them that they hadn't.  

There were a myriad of answers covering the gamut.  They finally asked me as a person my age living with HIV.  I thought about it & came up with my answer.

I wish someone would've taught me to better handle the +/-'s of life.  The highs & lows of life both throw me.  Admittedly, the negatives are usually harder to handle.  My parents didn't teach me to handle all the crap that would come into  my life.  They didn't give the means of handling stress, failure, rejection, etc... I panic, I freeze, I get angry,  None of which helps.   But, I was so unprepared for life, that I am utterly suspicious of the good in life.  I'm always waiting for the bad to come back like a tidal wave crashing down.  I fully well believe the universe has a sick sense of humor & my life gets the brunt of it a lot.  I have very few skills to cope with extremes.   I eventually do, but in the moment, I'm fairly useless.   

I told them to teach their children about all of the goods & bads they'll encounter.  Teach them skills to deal with the bad as well as possible.  Teach them to appreciate the good moments while they're there. Teach them that there's good & bad in every thing & every action.  You can learn from bad things.  You can be fooled by the good.    You may end up getting a lesser bad & learning to avoid a worse possibility.    You may be offered options so good you learn to look for the hooks in them.

Teach them good & bad come hand in hand.   Learning moments are near endless, but calming  times are rare.    Every dark cloud  may have a silver lining & I tend to believe that eventually.   But  it's also true that rainbows often follow terrible storms.  So do your best to teach your kid how to cope, how to be patient, how to see past the now.  Teach them about waiting for something, working for it & failure.   

Teach them how to fight, because life isn't a battle, it's a war.  It won't be won in a single conflict. You will get hurt, you will lose, you feel every negative emotion.  I hope your parents taught you better to handle those things than mine did me.  

Cya...